


Jaded

by Lilyyuri



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-23
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-14 21:31:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 150,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/519714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilyyuri/pseuds/Lilyyuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco find themselves transported back to the time of the marauders after yet another fight. Now they have to blend in while trying to find a way back to their own time. </p>
<p>This is a story I originally posted on FF.net and HP Fandom quite a while ago, and Narutoluvr9 recently asked me to post here. I'll do my best to post the whole thing as soon as possible. </p>
<p>I hope you'll enjoy it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**JADED**

Chapter One: Let me guess, they’re fighting again…

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**  


Harry flexed his fingers tiredly; it had been yet another detention with Snape, another evening of scrubbing dirty cauldrons sans magic. It was nearly curfew time and all he wanted to do was get back to his dorm room and have the longest, hottest shower he could stand to rid himself from the stench of the dungeons and then fall asleep- preferably for days. He only hoped Hermione won’t catch him on the way to bed and force him to sit down and finish any assignments. 

“Well, well, well, you know Potter, it never cease to amaze me just how many detentions you manage to land yourself in.” Harry groaned inwardly at the drawl coming from behind him, just what I need right now, he thought before turning slowly and fixing his nemesis with a scorching gaze, 

“I don’t see why, Malfoy, considering half of the detentions I get are _your_ fault!” He snarled at the blond boy, who looked far too pleased with himself at hearing the accusation. Harry decided he didn’t have the time or the will to indulge Malfoy in his little taunts. It was high time the boy grew up or at least found another play-thing to fulfil his need to fight (Merlin knows why he actually needed to fulfil a need to fight… But Harry wasn’t going to dwell on it right now!). Instead of rising to Malfoy’s bait he turned and continued his way. Harry didn’t even take three steps when a hand grabbed his upper arm tight, 

“Don’t you dare walk away from me, you filthy little half-breed! I’m talking to you!” Malfoy snarled as he turned Harry to face him again, pitching his face close. Harry rolled his eyes and tried to shrug his arm free, 

“You call that talking? Let me go Malfoy, I’m not in the mood for your childish attempt to get my attention! Just grow up, you… You delinquent ferret!” Harry snarled right back, while shoving hard at Malfoy’s chest to get him to release his arm. Malfoy refused to relinquish his hold on the Gryffindor but was still caught unprepared for the shove which resulted in both of them losing balance and tumbling towards the wall. Only it wasn’t really a wall but a little alcove- one like those which you could find all over the old castle and normally avoided since they were so dark you could never perceive how deep they actually were. Both boys tried to stop the inevitable fall but failed, fumbling and holding each other for support they ended up in a messy heap on the floor. 

“Get off me, Scarhead!” Malfoy yelled and shoved Harry hard. Harry, whose fall had been mostly blocked by Malfoy’s body still managed to bang his left elbow hard on the stone floor, and cringed in pain when he felt Malfoy shoving him. 

“Bugger off, ferret-face!” He snarled and stood up dusting himself, “I’m going back to my dorms, and if you try to stop me again, so help me Merlin I’ll hex you till you won’t know your own name anymore!” He said in a level voice, wand in hand and using the fact that Malfoy still hadn’t picked himself up from the floor to carry out his threat. Malfoy sneered at him, and pushed himself up, obviously in pain and dusted himself clean, all fighting spirit gone as each part of his body screamed in agony at the undignified fall and the weight of Harry on top of it. 

Harry backed out of the alcove, wand still in hand when he felt someone collide with him. Startled, he turned around, his vision full of red hair and green eyes, before the wrist of his wand hand was caught and a angry voice reprimanded him, 

“Bloody hell James, would you look where you’re pointing that thing! You could really hurt someone!” Harry gulped in shock at the pretty girl standing in front of him, Head Girl badge shining and fierce eyes boring into his. His mind seemed to be working all wonky because for a second he could have sworn the girl called him… James. He blinked twice trying to piece things together before giving up on the task as none of the conclusions he reached seemed in the least bit likely. 

“Ah, Miss Evens. Doing rounds I see, so dedicated.” All three teens in the corridor turned to look at the beaming face of Dumbledore. Harry squinted a little, there was something off in the way Dumbledore looked but he couldn’t really place it so he stayed quiet. Before anyone could say a word Dumbledore muttered a couple of spells under his breath and Harry looked in horror as the girl’s green eyes that admittedly looked so similar to his own went blank for a second and then she shook her head as if to rid it of cobwebs and Harry recognised a memory spell. When the girl looked up again her gaze was fixed on Dumbledore, completely ignoring both Harry and Malfoy, even though they stood a mere foot from her. 

“Headmaster, good evening. I was just doing my rounds.” She said with a bright smile. Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling, 

“Good evening to you too, Miss Evens. Please, don’t let me keep you from your duties any further.” With a slight bow of her head the girl turned and walked down the corridor, Harry gaping after her in complete shock. His brain was processing the information fast, but every fibber in his being screamed that it cannot be. He was torn back from his frantic thoughts by Dumbledore’s voice, “If you will follow me, please.” Head still turning to the corner the girl disappeared behind Harry followed Malfoy and Dumbledore, trying to reassure himself that everything was fine and that Dumbledore was taking them to the infirmary to have his head checked. Although Harry couldn’t remember actually hitting his head on the floor he deduced that he must have had. It was the only reasonable explanation. 

When they reached the solemn gargoyle Harry was about to protest but changed his mind when Dumbledore gave him a piercing gaze that said he’d explain everything later. Harry followed meekly trying to put a stop to the swirling vortex of thoughts before he’d lose his mind altogether. 

Once the two boys were seated in front of him, Albus Dumbledore dropped the little concealment charm he had put on them and looked at them carefully. The blond boy had an air about him that simply screamed pureblood aristocracy. His sharp, pointed features reminded him too much of one Lucius Malfoy to be a coincidence. The dark haired one was even easier to place- hell; even his own mother had been fooled. The old headmaster leaned back on his chair, 

“Can I offer you tea, lemon drop?” He asked kindly but both boys shook their heads, and Dumbledore mentally sighed, out of excuses to stall he had to get to the point, before the two teens burst into flames of curiosity and uncertainty. “Before we begin I would like to ask you for your names.” He said with a soft smile. The two looked mightily confused and shared a quick glance before averting their heads in disgust, 

“My name is Draco Malfoy. What the hell is going on here?” The blond boy said, affirming Dumbledore’s private suspicions. He looked like he was about to add something sharp and scathing but held his tongue back, his nostrils flaring with the effort not to speak.  
“I’m Harry Potter.” Offered the other one, his tone confused and slightly scared. Dumbledore nodded and pressed his fingertips together tapping his crooked nose lightly,

“I see. As for your question, Mr. Malfoy, I could ask you the same thing. You are obviously not one of my students.” 

“Of course I bloody am!” Malfoy was practically swollen with rage, “I’m a seventh year Slytherin _and_ a prefect!” Dumbledore didn’t seemed in the least bit affected by the rudeness of the young man and smiled benignly at him, knowing full well that in Malfoy’s enraged state this sort of thing would only vex him further. And as fun as the thought might be, this was hardly the time…

“I’m glad to see that the young generation is so full of spirit but let me ask you this- what date is today?” Both boys gaped at him for a second before Harry tentatively answered, 

“The Twelve of May, 1998.” Dumbledore smiled again and without a word pointed at his desk, where a magical calendar sat. The little marker pointed to the Fourth of October, 1977. Two jaws hit the floor and two pairs of eyes bulged and stared at the little calendar, willing it to change back to the date they knew. 

“Fuck.” The blond muttered under his breath, and Harry nodded in ascendance to his word. 

“Fuck, indeed.” Dumbledore chuckled softly under his breath and then sobered up, “Well, as you now understand, we have a little predicament on our hands.” 

“But… How is it possible, sir?” Harry asked in a desperate voice, his eyes still glued to the calendar, 

“It appears that you two stepped into one of the tempus alcoves in this castle. There are only a few of them and they tend to appear and disappear on their own accord. What you’ve experienced is a fairly simple temporal shift. The problem is- how to reverse it.” 

“What do you mean the problem?” Malfoy straightened up in his chair and looked wide eyed at the headmaster, “You _have_ to send us back, _right now_!” He pressed with all the arrogance of someone who’s far too used to have things done his own way. 

“I’m afraid, Mr. Malfoy that I cannot do that, we’ll just have to wait until the right tempus alcove returns.” 

“And how long will that take, sir?” Harry tried to sound cool and compose, if only to appear more civil than Malfoy. 

“The last time one appeared here was nearly seven years ago.” The headmaster replied cheerfully and the boys gasped in horror, 

“You mean we’re going to be stuck here for seven bleeding years?” Malfoy all but yelled, eyes bulging and face flushed with rage he jumped up to his feet and started pacing the room, muttering obscenities under his breath and pulling at his hair in frustration. Harry found that every muscle in his body went rigid with cold fear, his hands clasped together in his lap, knuckles white with the force. 

“I’m going to do all that in my power to make sure this problem will be solved as soon as possible. Trust me, you being here poses as much a problem to me as it is to you.” Harry gave Dumbledore a pained look, pleading for reassurance from the man that he trusted above all else. Even if this Dumbledore was 20 years younger than the one he knew they were still the same person, not even much changed, in fact. 

“You’ll send us back?” He asked hopefully, but Dumbledore gave him a sad smile, 

“I will, but not right away.” 

“What the hell are we supposed to do until you decide you feel like sending us back, huh?” Malfoy leaned over the headmaster’s desk and fixed Dumbledore with a steel gaze, and Dumbledore found he was resisting the urge to slap the hysterical teenager. Instead he leaned back in his chair,

“Please sit down Mr. Malfoy.” A short battle of wills followed his request until, defeated, Malfoy slumped back into the chair, still fuming. “As for your question, the two of you will do what you did before you ended up here. You will study. As you are already sorted and in fact clad in school uniforms I shall send each to his respective house and you will do your best to blend in while we search for a solution.” He said calmly, and watched as Malfoy opened his mouth to object and silenced him with a glare. Harry simply looked like he was about to cry. 

“Of course, that would require several changes since I’m sure both of you know the risks of time meddling. And if your little encounter with the Head Girl has taught us anything, it is that a little glamour is in order.” 

The headmaster flicked his wand over the teens muttering a series of spells. Harry felt a tingling sensation all over him, running from his head to his toes and tried to shake it off. After a while the sensation stopped and he opened his eyes to look around, wondering what happened. When his eyes landed on Malfoy he gasped in shock. The Slytherin ice-prince was no longer blond and prim, instead his hair was light brown and once free of the evil clutches of magical gel, it fell freely, framing his face. His eyes were now a darker shade of blue-grey and his features less pointy. All in all, Harry decided that he liked this look better on Malfoy. But from the former blond’s gasp he could deduce that he too, was under glamour. 

Reaching for their wands at the same time both boys conjured mirrors and gazed at their new selves. Harry blinked in astonishment at his face looking back at him from the mirror, his hair was a couple of shades darker and had an almost blue tinge to it, it was so black and neat, his hair actually behaved! His eyes were no longer bright emerald green but a mix with blue to give them a dark aquamarine hue, and his face seemed a little more angular but most importantly, there was no scar. 

Harry rubbed his forehead in confusion, his entire life he wanted to be rid of that dreadful scar but now that it was gone he felt a little pang of lost. When it came down to it, his scar was something that defined him just like his unruly hair and his glasses, and now he was missing it. He moved his hand along his features, feeling them. He could see himself in the mirror, the old Harry but he knew that anyone who hasn’t seen him before couldn’t. 

“I’ve placed a special version of the confudus charm on you that would not able you to speak of your own time to anyone. If anyone asks, you are both transfer students from Durmstrang School. I must stress again, how important it is that none here would learn that you have come from the future. Time is a very volatile thing and must not be tempered with.” The headmaster explained sternly and both boys nodded, “And now you only need to pick out new names, as there are too many people here that would recognize your family names.” Dumbledore swept his gaze from one boy to the other, waiting for their answers. He decided to give them the option to choose their own name, if not their looks. 

“Hmm, how about… Jaime Harrison.” Harry mumbled, his eyes cast down and a delicate blush spreading over his cheeks. Jaime Harrison was the alias he used last summer when he went to have his piercing, and he liked this assumed identity. 

“Very well, Mr. Malfoy?” Draco looked up startled and frowned a bit, 

“Alex Draconis.” He claimed after a little while. To answer Harry’s questioning gaze he shrugged and said flippantly, “What? You’re not the only one allowed to use middle names and turn first names to last!” 

“Your middle name is Alex?” Harry asked in mild amusement. He didn’t know why it surprised him, maybe because he was certain that Draco’s middle name would be Lucius. He had to admit that Alex was infinitely better. 

“Good, good. In that case, Mr. Harrison and Mr. Draconis, I shall bid you both goodnight. You just head to your common room and settle in. Beds and any other items you shall need such as clothes and school books will be provided in the trunk at the foot of your bed. I shall see you both tomorrow at the Great Hall for breakfast. Sleep well and good luck.” 

The way back to the Gryffindor tower passed in a daze. Harry tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he no longer was in his own time, a feat made ten times harder when everything around him looked exactly the same as it did back in 1998. Harry figured the big boom would land when he woke up tomorrow morning and meet his new roommates. He didn’t even want to think about it, because he knew full well who his new roommates are going to be and the fact that in 1998 one of them was his father, one his godfather and both were dead. Not to mention the little snivelling rat that ruin their lives and he, Harry could do nothing about it. He almost turned on his tracks to ask Dumbledore to re-sort him, anything would be better, even Malfoy and Slytherin! 

When he reached the Fat Lady’s portrait he realized that Dumbledore had forgotten to give him the current password. Harry swore under his breath and rubbed his face tiredly. This has been a terrible day and after the detention with Snape and the shock of the temporal shift the last thing he needed was to be locked out of his own common room all night. But when the Lady saw him she gave him a bright smile, 

“You must be the new student, Mr. Harrison, are you not?” Harry looked up and nodded mutely, and the Fat Lady beamed at him, like he was the best thing that ever happened to her, “Well, the headmaster asked me to give you the password. It’s ‘Wingardium Laviosa’, but please try and remember not to use your wand while you say it. One Longbottom is enough for me…” Harry frowned at her last comment while she swung open muttering on the recklessness of Dumbledore, choosing a levitation spell as a password. 

Harry climbed the portrait hole and into the common room, being so late at night the place was deserted and empty. He glanced around him and noticed the place looked pretty much the same as he remembered but decided not to dwell on it right now, instead he trudged his way up to the seventh year boys’ dormitory. 

Harry pushed the door open slowly, tiptoeing into the room- the room looked exactly the same, down to the bed arranging which made Harry’s heart give a painful lurch. He automatically moved to his bed and carefully checked to see if he’s been correct. The bed was empty and he sighed in relief- at least he won’t have trouble finding his way about in case he wanted a drink of water in the middle of the night. After fishing for his toothbrush in his new trunk he quickly made ready for bed, stripping down to his undershirt and his boxers he slipped under the covers and closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter two

****

  
JADED

 

..oo00oo..

Chapter Two: Meet the Marauders (First thing in the morning…)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


The first sound Harry heard when he woke up was a loud screeching noise. He tried to block it by pushing his pillow over his head but it didn’t stop. Harry sighed in frustration and rolled to his back, trying to figure out what the hell the ruckus was. It sounded like… very bad singing… For a second Harry thought that it might be Seamus with his little bathroom songs, but that couldn’t be it- if there was one thing Seamus was actually good at it was singing. What he was subjected to, first thing in the morning, could only be referred to as singing in the broadest sense of the word. Besides, this musical abusing sounded an awful lot like… Sirius.

In a rush all the event of yesterday returned to Harry and nearly chocked him out. He was in 1977! Harry took small gasps of breath trying to calm himself before he started his own version of screeching. He reached to the bedside table and pulled his glasses on, fighting the urge to just burrow deeper under the covers and ignore the world until Dumbledore send word that he found a way to return him to his own time. 

The curtains around his bed were suddenly yanked open and in popped the brightly smiling face of Sirius Black. A young Sirius Black- not yet marred and haunted by years in Azkaban prison but carefree and happy. He was breathtaking and Harry found himself gulping and pushing back a rather inappropriate thought. 

“Wakey, wakey, new guy!” Sirius cried and jumped on the bed, settling himself comfortably and watching Harry’s face morphing from a frown to full horror. Never, in all his seven years in Hogwarts has any of Harry’s roommates jumped on his bed so casually like that, “I’m Sirius Black,” Harry was tempted to say ‘I know’ but didn’t get the chance as Sirius continued to speak without waiting for an answer, “You can call me Sirius, or Black, Siri, Padfoot… Hell I’ll probably answer if you call me Nelly.” Harry couldn’t help but chuckle, this was so much like the old Sirius and yet so different. 

“I’m H-“ Before he could even complete the first syllable of his name Harry felt his throat closing, cutting off his air supply, stupid confudus charm he thought angrily before he tried again, “I’m Jaime Harrison. Call me Jaime.” He said and reached out his hand for Sirius to shake.

Harry climbed out of the bed and stretched out, feeling his muscles popping satisfyingly. He shook his head and headed to his trunk to grab a towel and his toiletries. When he straightened up he saw was himself standing in the middle of the room, clad in naught but boxers. Harry did a double take and then flushed with embarrassment, averting his eyes and cursing under his breath. It was one thing to think that young Sirius was hot but there was no excuse to think the same for James bloody Potter! 

“For Merlin’s sake, James, put something on, you’re scaring the new guy!” Sirius called furiously and Harry nearly kissed him in gratitude. James grumbled something unintelligent before flipping Sirius the bird and heading towards the showers. Sirius rolled his eyes and led Harry through the door James disappeared in. while they brushed their teeth Sirius kept sending curious glances at Harry, 

“So, where did you spring from?” Harry chuckled around his toothbrush and turned to spit and rinse his mouth,

“I was transferred here from Durmstrang; I arrived late last night and hadn’t had the opportunity to meet anyone yet.” He explained, 

“Durmstrang… cool. What’s it like there?” Harry pretended to be too busy washing his toothbrush while he tried to figure out the answer. Shit, shit, shit! What the hell did he know of Durmstrang? He wasn’t even entirely sure where the bloody school was located! He desperately tried to remember what Viktor Krum had told him about the school, four years ago, during that hellish Triwizard Tournament. 

“Cold.” He finally answered, hoping that his tone of voice indicated clearly that he didn’t want any questions asked, but he should have known better while talking to Sirius, 

“Is it true they teach you dark arts there?” Sirius asked eagerly, completely unfazed by the lack of communication from Harry, 

“Yes, but it’s really boring.” Harry tried to smile, again using Krum’s words, 

“Ha! I knew it! My father always tried to teach me the bloody stuff. Never had a knack for it myself.” Sirius told him and Harry smiled again. This was so weird; having a conversation with someone you knew more about their course of life then they did. He packed his things and they both headed back to the room to get dressed. When Harry opened the door of the washroom he met a pair of groggy amber eyes, tawny hair and delicate features of his favourite teacher, 

“P-Professor.” He gasped before he could stop himself and heard Sirius chuckling behind him, Remus Lupin, on the other hand was far from amused, 

“Very funny, Black, a real inspiration you are to the new guy!” He snapped and swept past the startled Harry and the chuckling Sirius, who tried to duck the slap aimed at his head. Once the door was closed behind Remus’ back Harry gasped in shock, 

“Shit! I didn’t mean… oh, no… I- I thought about someone else…” He pleaded with Sirius desperately, but Sirius clapped his hand over Harry’s shoulder and led him back to his trunk, 

“Don’t worry about old Moony; he’ll be right as rain as soon as he get his caffeine fix.” He said happily. “Professor… That’s a really good one; I’ll have to tell James about it!” He nearly doubled up in laughter while making his way to his bed. Harry sighed and cursed under his breath again. This wasn’t the best start he could hope for with the marauders. 

When he finished dressing he went down to breakfast with Sirius and James, who was much more communicative now that he had his shower, but still rather groggy at the morning hour. 

“I’m not _Jaime_ , I’m _James_!” He snapped at Sirius when the latter introduced Harry and found the idea of having two Jamies in the dorm funny as hell. Harry decided not to comment, and suddenly wished his parents had been a little more creative with his middle name. 

Reaching the Great Hall, Harry began feeling uneasy again, even though he couldn’t tell why. The three of them made their way to the Gryffindor table and sat down, Sirius and James flanking Harry on the bench. He saw Lily Evens sitting a little way from them on the opposite side of the table, busy explaining something to the dirty-blond haired small boy sitting next to her. 

It wasn’t until the boy lifted his head that Harry recognised him, Peter Pettigrew… Harry nearly chocked on the swig of pumpkin juice he just took. He felt the itch in his hands, wanting so bad to reach for his wand and… just… do something! Fuck! How does Dumbledore expect him to just sit there in front of the man that ruined his life and do nothing? This was inhuman! Harry clenched his fists and unclenched them, trying to calm his erratic mood before he did something that he would regret later. Once the red fog subsided in his brain he was aware of the noises around him again. He lifted his head and just in time to see James turning a blinding smile at Lily, 

“Good morning, Lily.” The Head Girl tossed red locks behind her shoulder and smiled pleasantly at James, 

“Good morning, James.” She replied cordially. Harry watched in avid curiosity, eager to see how this would fold. Sirius, the older Sirius had already told him that his parents’ beginning was somewhat rocky but now he had a chance to see that first hand, how lucky was that? 

“You look great,” James said, his cheeks flushing a little and his brown-hazel eyes gleaming, “This top is great on you, very revealing…” Harry nearly chocked on his toast (this time) and bit his lip as to not burst out laughing, from the corner of his eye he could see Sirius ducking his head and suppressing laughter, face turning rapidly red with lack of oxygen. On his left side James was turning an alarming shade of red as well but from a completely different reason. Before anyone could say a word James jumped to his feet and sprinted out of the Great Hall. On his right Sirius collapsed against the table in a feat of giggles and a little to his left his own mother was looking down her blouse- a standard school uniform white blouse that had that two top buttons undone, but other than her collarbone, exposed nothing. 

“Is my top revealing?” She mused out loud and then fixed Harry with a green gaze, “You think my top is revealing?” To Harry’s complete horror she cupped her breasts and pushed them up a little, to make her point. Between seeing his father nearly naked first thing in the morning and now his mother cupping her breasts in front of him Harry feverishly wished Dumbledore would send him home, _right now_! “I’m Lily Evens, by the way,” Lily said with a slight smirk seeing the redness on Harry’s face, “Nice to meet you.” 

“Jaime Harrison.” He mumbled and ducked his head, fixing his eyes on his plate, hoping against hope that the scrambled eggs won’t decide to embarrass him further. He heard Lily shuffling around her books and parchments before she rose from her seat and walked out of the Great Hall, head held high against Sirius’ snickering and Peter ambling at her wake. 

Harry rubbed his forehead tiredly, it wasn’t even first period yet and he already had more embarrassment, humiliation and rage than he was used to in an entire week back in his time. He ate his breakfast slowly, only half listening to Sirius’ rambling when he felt someone sitting in the seat next to him, the one that James vacated not five minutes prior. 

“Hey. Rem, guess what? It’s sandwich day again.” Sirius announced joyfully and Remus’ only reply was to take a deep draught from his coffee cup before reaching for the plate of toast and bacon with an air of tiered acceptance. Together Remus and Sirius assembled four sandwiches which Sirius wrapped in a clean napkin and placed by his plate. 

“So what did he do this time?” Remus asked as he began to fill his plate, 

“Told her that her top is revealing.” Sirius couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory, and Remus rolled his eyes in a well practice manner at James’ less than subtle way of trying to gain Lily’s affections. Harry stayed silent during the exchange, feeling a little strange about finding out that his father was such a blunder when it came to girls. “What about you, Jay? Are you a lady killer?” Sirius nudged Harry in the ribs none too subtle which almost cost Harry’s elbow to slip off the table. He looked at Sirius, who was grinning wide and giving him a little sultry wink. 

“Hmm, no not really, I get quite tongue-tied around girls. Got it from my father apparently.” He remarked dryly, a little disappointed that his ingenious joke went unnoticed. Tongue-tied around girls was quite an understatement to him but Harry figured that he should test the water first as to how homosexuality is regarded in the mid-seventies before he came out to anyone. 

Sirius grinned at him before his head snapped up and a slow, evil smile spread on his handsome face, Harry followed his gaze and saw Malfoy, no Draconis… Alex… Damn this whole first name turned to last! Walking towards the door along with another boy, a tall, lanky boy with shoulder length black hair and sallow skin… a boy that looked remarkably like…

“Snivellus!” Sirius cried out joyfully and jumped to his feet rushing after the former Draco Malfoy and the young Severus Snape. Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head, well; at least it was good to know that some things never change. 

“So, I hear you are a new transfer student from Durmstrang and that your name is Jamie.” Harry turned to face Remus, who was looking far more comfortable and calm now that he got his ‘caffeine fix’ as Sirius put it and tried to smile. Thinking of Sirius as hot was a natural thing, he figured, but here was the younger, fit and gorgeous version of the man that hunted Harry’s fantasies for the last two years- ever since the older Remus Lupin was reinstated as the DADA teacher in Hogwarts. Harry swallowed hard and tried to will any inappropriate thoughts away before he did something colossally stupid. 

“Yeah, I am. How…” 

“Sirius talks _really_ loud.” Came the nonchalant answer and Harry smiled. “I’m Remus, by the way. I’m sorry I got all snarky this morning… I’m not much of a morning person…” Harry watched the offered hand before taking it gingerly, praying that his own hand wasn’t too clammy. 

“S’cool.” He mumbled and tried to hold his blush at bay, before either boy could say anymore a shadow fell over them and they lifted their heads to see Minerva McGonagall standing above them. Harry looked a little shocked at his mythological Head of House- although not a spring chick anymore she was certainly younger than he remembered. 

“Good morning, Mr. Lupin. Mr. Harrison, Headmaster Dumbledore informed me that you’ve been sorted to my house last night. Welcome to Gryffindor. I am professor McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher and head of Gryffindor. If you encounter any troubles please feel free to approach me.” She said in her stern way that wasn’t unkind and always managed to calm Harry with its quietness, though he never told anyone that. “Here is your time table, I am sure that your new house mates will help you acclimatise to your new surroundings and teach you the proper rules of conduct around here.” She directed her last remark to Remus who gave her a bright and a-little-too-innocent smile that made Harry want to snort in dismiss- oh yeah, the marauders will teach him the proper way around alright… 

He took the parchment McGonagall handed him and glanced at it. He felt Remus leaning closer to sneak a peek and turned the parchment so that the other boy could read as well. 

“Hmm, let’s see- History of Magic, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Potions, Herbology, Charms, Divination, and Astronomy. These are pretty standard NEWT’s.” Remus commented, while munching on his jammed toast, licking his finger absently and making Harry flush a little, 

“Yeah, I didn’t really have time to pick any extra courses; I guess Dumbledore would give me the choice next week or so.” Harry croaked, even though he wasn’t at all sure of the fact, but feeling the need to answer all the same. 

“Well, at least you’ll have the marauders with you in each class. After all we do need to help you… acclimatise…” Harry grinned at the mischievous gleam in Remus’ eye. That subtle change in Remus’ behaviour never failed to amaze Harry, the way the quiet, unassuming man would take on an air for pranks. Without a doubt Remus was the most dangerous, cunning and crafty marauder ever. 

“Marauders.” Harry said in a quiet voice, he could not believe that he was actually here and now, with the marauders- the group that was so legendary that it left even Fred and George Weasley in complete awe. He’d heard countless stories of them, from different people but being here among them, at their prime was something that made him feel almost breathless with admiration. 

“Yes I know it’s a silly name; Sirius came up with it so it shouldn’t be a real surprise…” Remus mused aloud, still absorbed in Harry’s new time table to notice his companion’s expression. “I guess that now that you share a room with us you’re an honorary marauder.” Harry’s startled eyes met warm ambers, 

“Really?” Technically, Sirius had told him that after his birth James dubbed Harry as an honorary marauder (much to Lily’s chagrin, of course), but this was way better! 

“I suppose you could be promoted to a full marauder, but you’ll have to do something for us first.” 

“What?” Harry breathed out eagerly, completely caught with the idea of becoming a real marauder. Remus leaned forward and brought his mouth close to Harry’s ear. Harry could feel the warmth radiating from the other boy and clenched his fists tight on top of his thighs, when he felt Remus’ breath tickling his ear and sending little delicious shivers down his spine, 

“Complete a dare.” Harry gulped again and watched as Remus leaned back in his seat looking very pleased with himself at Harry’s reaction. Harry hoped that Remus thought he was scared rather than completely turned on as was the case. “Come on, let’s go, we need to get to old Binnsy’s class.” The two boys reached for their bags and rose from their seats, Remus quickly pocketing the sandwiches that Sirius left behind in his pursuit of Snape.

When they entered the classroom, Remus led the way to the back row, where a preening Sirius and a dejected James were already sitting. Harry’s eyes scanned the classroom fast and noticed that Lily was sitting in the second row, and that Peter was nowhere to be seen. The less he had to do with Wormtail was better, as far as Harry was concerned, and he really hoped he didn’t have too much to do with the rat, marauder or not. Remus indicated the seat next to Sirius, while he took a seat on Harry’s other side, which made Harry a little uneasy but pleased at the same time. Just before the bell rang Peter slipped into the classroom and took a seat next to James, looking flushed and panting for breath. 

“Good morning class.” Harry could feel his eyelids immediately starting to drop, the natural reaction to professor Binns’ voice, and snapped his eyes wide open to avoid temptation. He was almost disappointed to discover that the living Binns didn’t have much more colour than the ghost Binns. 

“He’s good isn’t he?” Sirius whispered at his side and stifled a yawn, and Harry chuckled softly, 

“Indeed.” He watched as James placed his forehead on his History book while nibbling on the sandwiches behind the thick tome and Peter nodding off furiously, each time his head dropping closer to the desk’s surface. A sharp elbow in his ribs snapped Harry out of his state of prolixity a few minutes later and he sent Remus a hurt look while rubbing his side, 

“Don’t fall asleep.” Remus chided him and Harry wanted to protest that it wasn’t fair that he wasn’t allowed to drop when the three others were practically bringing down the ceiling with snores. “Hey, Pads,” Remus gave a loud whisper that startled Sirius from his comatose state, “We have to figure a way to initiate Jaime here into the marauders.” At those magic words the three marauders snapped up, eyes bright and smirks flashing, ready to cause all sorts of mischief.

“Can we trust him?” Harry glared at Peter’s watery pale blue eyes; the rat is asking whether _Harry_ could be trusted? Now that’s rich!

“Yes.” Remus snapped and Peter looked a little taken back. Harry felt a warm glow slowly creeping from the deepest part of him and tried to remain stoic and not send a childish smirk at Peter. 

“I say his dare would be to kiss Evens, tongue and all!” Sirius chirped in and both Harry and James jumped up, 

“No Way!” They cried out, a little too loudly, 

“Mr. Potter!” Both Harry and James looked up startled at professor Binns, who seemed just as startled as they were, “And Mr…. Harrison, ten points from Gryffindor.” Harry ducked his head again. Mr. Harrison- that was him, not Potter, Harrison. 

“That wasn’t funny, Pads.” Remus said in a grave voice, though Harry could see he didn’t mean a word, 

“Oh, relax, _professor_!” Sirius shot back and Harry had the grace to blush like mad at that. Remus gave Sirius the two fingers salute, when Peter piped in, 

“How about he plays against James?” Four heads turned in his direction and he tried to shrug it off. Harry gritted his teeth in anger; he knew full well what Peter meant to do with that little suggestion- make Harry look bad in front of the others! 

“That’s not fair,” James objected, “We don’t even know if the lad plays Quidditch.” 

“I do.” Harry answered his father. Now that he thought about it, this could be a golden opportunity, not only to watch the legendary James Potter in action but actually showing him that the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, even if his father would never know that. 

“Seeker?” Sirius inquired with narrowed eyes, 

“Yes, I was actually the youngest seeker in a century back in my old school.” Harry said proudly, slightly amazed that the confudus spell allowed him to say all that. “But I didn’t bring my broom with me.” He suddenly felt deflated, thinking of his beautiful Firebolt, the one that… Sirius got him… 

“You can borrow mine.” Sirius said with a grin, already warming up for the idea of a seekers’ game between the prodigy of Hogwarts and this cocky new kid. 

“What brand is your broom?” Harry asked curiously, noticing that both Remus and Peter tuned them out, with a roll of eyes that said something like ‘Oh, great, here we go again…’, but Harry didn’t really care, 

“A Comet Two Twenty, the same one as James. Fastest broom in the market.” Sirius announced proudly and Harry nearly bit his tongue trying to stifle a snort. Comet Two Twenty? He knew what the Comets looked like and how they preformed and sadly pondered that none of them had the slightest chance against his Firebolt. Hell, even his Nimbus 2000 was faster, but then again, he reminded himself furiously, this is 1977 and there were no Nimbus 2000 or Firebolts and it is very possible that the Comet Two Twenty was the best broom in the market right now.

“Cool.” He said at last, figuring that having the same broom as his father would probably even their odds somewhat. 

“Excellent.” Sirius clamped his hand on Harry’s shoulder, “Then after dinner we go down to the pitch and see if you’re cut out to be a marauder.” Harry gave him a broad smile and caught Remus rolling his eyes again on the corner of his vision. Obviously the wolf had other ideas as to how determine whether Harry was cut to be a marauder or not, but knew better than to fight with two Quidditch nutters such as James and Sirius. 

The rest of the day passed rather confusingly for Harry, who had to keep reminding himself that this was 1977 and not 1998, the teachers were different (even when they were the same people as in his own time), the material was different and he found himself rather struggling and wishing that Hermione was here with him to catch up and teach him later. He was mightily glad when dinner finally rolled in and he could relax somewhat and get a few minutes to mentally prepare himself to fly against his own father.


	3. chapter three

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JADED

  
**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Three:** Oh, dear dad, can you see me now?  
(Title from ‘Release’ by ‘Pearl Jam’, album ‘Ten’)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


The five boys made their way to Quidditch pitch, chatting happily among themselves. Harry tried not to be nervous of the fact he was about to go up against his father, on a broom that went out of the market before he was even born. His captain mind started to map and catalogue things immediately; the weather was perfect- not too cool, even for mid October, not too windy and just a perfect evening for a Quidditch match. The pitch was just as he remembered soft sand on the ground and goal hoops gleaming and catching the last rays of sun before the magical floodlights were turned on.

When they stood in the middle of the pitch Sirius thrust his broom proudly in Harry’s hands and turned to take place in the nearest stand, followed by Remus and Peter, leaving Harry and James alone on the pitch. James used his broom to help himself stretch out a bit while Harry stood staring dumbstruck at the broom in his hands. It felt so heavy and slow, just lying there- Harry almost wanted to flip it and start swiping the sanded pitch to make his point but decided against it when he saw James starting to jog in place, warming his muscles up. 

“Can I take this one up for a bit, just to get the feeling of it?” He asked and James shrugged and nodded, still busy with his warm up. Harry took a deep breath and mounted the broom; he kicked off and headed straight up. He started with standard drills to test the broom and almost groaned with frustration at its slowness. It felt like he was standing stock still! After a few dives and pulls he reached the conclusion that what the Comet Two-Twenty missed in speed it more than made up for in difficult turns. After about five minutes into his test fly he formed his strategy- he’d have to lean more heavily on cunning manoeuvres than on speed, not something he was overly used of doing but it never hurt to brush up on tight turns every once in a while. 

“Come on Jay, we don’t have all night!” He turned to see Sirius jumping up and down on the stand, waiting for Harry to finally finish his little warm-up so the game could begin. Harry rolled his eyes good-naturally; Sirius was never one for patience. 

“I’m ready.” Harry cried out and soon James turned up at his side, poised on his broom and ready to fight for the snitch. It made Harry want to chuckle, seeing the pitched look on his father’s face, so similar to his own when he was about to go up in the air. 

“Alright, then I’m releasing the snitch!” Sirius cried out and lifted his hand to show the little golden glint. As soon as Harry’s eyes focused on the small ball he forgot about everything else. This was what he was good at, what he loved doing and it didn’t really matter if he was 20 years in the past riding an ancient broom and fighting his father- he was ready for Quidditch! 

Both Harry and James started the search for the elusive winged ball while Sirius, Remus and Peter watched them from the stands. The three apparently weren’t all that interested in the game and kept chatting and joking. The first thing that Harry learned while he was battling his father was that he did indeed inherited every ounce of Quidditch talent from his father but apparently he didn’t get all of it… James was simply phenomenal. Even on an old and rickety broom his father was an unbelievable flyer and Harry had a hard time trying to keep up with him. James obviously knew his broom well and knew how to get the maximum out of it, much to Harry’s dismay as he soon realized that it would take a bloody miracle for him to catch the snitch before James did. Guess that’s what Malfoy must be feeling every time he plays against me… Harry thought in a quirked sort of daze. 

Since Harry didn’t really have the heart to toss his own father off his broom, not to mention his inner fair-play integrity wouldn’t let him so blatantly cheat, he soon found himself almost vertically stretched on his broom trying in vain to catch the zooming figure of his father who was only feet away from him but still too far. 

James tossed a glance behind his shoulder at the new guy who wanted to challenge the legendary James Potter to a seekers game… The sight of Harry racing and nearly passing him cause the smirk to die on James’ lips, this kid was not someone to be taken lightly, he could fly! But not as good as me, James thought in satisfaction as his fingers closed on the tiny winged ball in triumph. Now he let the smirk shine in all its force while Harry stopped his broom and hovered in mid-air looking disappointed and pushing back his sweaty locks. 

“Hey, good game, Jamie. You sure know how to handle a broom. Ever thought of switching positions and becoming a chaser?” Harry blinked at him in confusion, chaser? Surely that’s insulting, right? But while his brain mused on his father’s surprising proposal his heart swelled with delight and pride that his father, his own father thought he was a good seeker. Growing with the Dursleys left Harry in desperate need for affirmation, to know that what he was doing was right, that he was good in at least one thing. But getting praise from one of the two people he so desperately wanted to make proud was nearly making him tear up. 

The two seekers made their way back to the ground slowly, both feeling the adrenalin pumping in their veins while their muscles protested the physical effort. On the pitch they were joined by Sirius, Remus and Peter who were all chatting happily and looked rather excited, 

“That was some impressive flying!” Sirius cried and clamped his hand on Harry’s back forcefully, making the latter wince with the pain, nearly falling flat on his face, “I bet Prongs never thought he’d actually have to break a sweat over that one! Good on you, Jay!” Harry smiled broadly; the evening was just getting better. Although not strange to get praise from the older Sirius, this was even better, since the young Sirius didn’t know of his horrid childhood and therefore didn’t feel compelled to compliment Harry and bust his ego at every turn. 

“Well, it looks like you’ve passed your challenge.” Remus said in a quiet voice and a warm smile that caused Harry to blush to the roots of his hair, 

“I… I didn’t catch the snitch…” He mumbled, feeling rather foolish all of a sudden, 

“Yes, but you made James rue the day he ever agreed to this challenge, so that’s as good as winning in our book.” Remus gave James a little jibe in the ribs and they all laughed as James pulled a face at them. 

“So, now that you’re one of us, what shall we have you do…” Sirius mused loudly, his finger tapping his chin in thought, eyes glinting dangerously, 

“Well, we have to find him a name first.” Peter piped up and Harry tried to hold back the snarl that was his natural reaction whenever Peter spoke, 

“That we do…” James agreed and looked thoughtfully on Harry, “We should find out his animagus form first.” 

“Fuck, Prongs, are you going to dish out _all_ our secrets?” Sirius cried out indigenously, 

“What? We just said he was a full Marauder, so he’s bound to find out our secrets sooner or later!” James argued back. Harry wanted to tell them that he already knew all the secrets the Marauders had- or at least the ones that were worthy of knowing, but he couldn’t. Instead he looked at Remus and saw the teen werewolf averting his gaze and worrying his lip, talking of animagus forms must have hurt more than Remus would ever let anyone know, Harry felt the urge to offer the tawny-haired boy a hug, so he stuck his hands in his pockets demurely to avoid temptation- something he found he was doing more and more lately. 

“How do I find out what my animagus form is?” He asked loudly, trying to overcome the quiet argument that was brewing between James and Sirius, 

“Your animagus form is something unique to you, but you cannot choose it. It will appeal to a trait in your character, usually the strongest one.” Remus began to explain in his calm voice, beside him Sirius rolled his eyes and mouthed ‘professor’ which earned him an elbow to the ribs while Remus never paused from his speech, “The spell to discover one’s animagus form is fairly simple but actually achieving a full transformation is something that can take years to learn and master. It is a very volatile process and that’s why the ministry likes to keep close tabs on his animagi.” 

“But what the ministry doesn’t know won’t hurt it!” Sirius grinned and Harry found himself returning the grin, 

“Anyway,” Remus said firmly, ignoring Sirius, “In order to find out your animagus from you need to clear out your mind and just point your wand at yourself and say ‘reveal animagus’.” He instructed and Harry nodded and swallowed. The Marauders were forming a circle, eagerly anticipating the charm, and Harry felt his nervousness increase. If he had any say in the matter he would have preferred do cast the spell in privacy, trying it out first before presenting the results to the rest, just so that he could warm up to the idea of having an animagus form, and see what it might be, but as he had no choice he pointed his wand to his chest and closed his eyes, 

“Reveal animagus.” He said in a clear voice and waited for something to happen, but eventually cracked an eye open, before snapping them wide open in astonishment. Before him, in mid-air floated an image of an animal, eerily white and luminescent, it looked like a patronus of sorts,

“What is it?” Peter asked, and the other four gazed intently at the figure hovering in the middle of their circle, 

“I think it’s a dog, Hey Pads, I think you have a new friend!” James said with a smile and slapped Sirius’ back while the latter grinned wide, but before he could comment Remus said in a quiet voice, 

“It’s not a dog,” He lifted his gaze to look at Harry from across the circle, his face lit by the charm and casting deep shadows, which made his eyes smoulder like glowing ambers of a fire, “It’s a wolf.” Harry found himself gulping at Remus’ words. A wolf… Could that really be? 

“What does a wolf stand for?” Peter asked curiously, 

“It means that Jamie is looking to belong somewhere, he needs a pack.” Remus replied and Harry felt a chill running down his spine at the words, it made so much sense and yet it was such scary a thought. He did need a family, but he had found it when the Weasleys took him in… A pack, he needed a pack, someone to belong to in the most compelling, deepest way,

“That’s great, we can be his pack!” Sirius cried and flung his arm around Harry’s shoulder, effectively breaking his concentration and causing the wolf’s image to disappear. “We need to name him, I’m thinking… Wolfie!” The other four rolled their eyes and groaned, 

“No way, that’s just silly! He should be called something like… Howler.” James offered and Harry wrinkled his nose, Howler was only marginally better than Wolfie.

“Grey.” Peter piped in, “You know, after the colour of his coat…” 

For the next couple of minutes each member of the Marauders tossed out names into the air, most of them making Harry cringe with horror and disgust. Harry noticed that Remus hadn’t said a word so far, not joining in the bad-names-fest and he just knew that Remus would come up with the perfect name so he waited eagerly to hear the verdict, 

“Seff.” The three squabbling teens turned to look at Remus, who was still gazing at the spot where the image of the wolf had been, 

“Seff? What kind of name is that?” Sirius wrinkled his nose, crossing his arms over his chest, 

“It’s Hebrew for Wolf.” Remus explained, 

“Really? Are you sure?” Sirius pressed, 

“You think I’m making this up?” 

“Maybe,” Sirius answered, rising to the challenge, but Remus didn’t look impressed in the slightest, 

“Check it out then.” 

“Oh, come on Moony, you know that Sirius couldn’t find his way to the library if he had the Marauders map and a ‘point me’ spell!” James snorted in laughter, which broke the tension; the four of them were sniggering while Sirius did his best to look hurt, 

“I kinda like Seff,” Harry said with a small smile, “It’s unique.” Yes, and it was Remus’ idea you smitten ponce! His mind supplied helpfully, but Harry ignored it, 

“Alright, then that settled,” Peter cried, “Welcome, Seff, to the Marauders!” He extended his hand to Harry who had to brace himself mentally before he could accept it. After a round of shakes the five turned towards the castle and Harry found himself walking alongside Remus, at the back of the group while ahead of them Sirius, James and Peter were reliving the livelier parts of the match they just witnessed and played. Harry had no desire to join in the talk and was perfectly happy to walk in comfortable silence next to the boy he so desperately wanted. He knew that he was absolutely pathetic and that if Remus had any kind of sense he’d run miles away from what is sure to end up in a spectacular blunder on Harry’s part. 

“A wolf is a very powerful animagus form,” Harry was jerked out of his thoughts by Remus’ voice, 

“What?” 

“I said that a wolf is a very strong animagus form, not a lot of people can carry out a wolf.” Harry felt his cheeks flush, was that praise or condemn? 

“But that’s a good thing, right?” He asked anxiously and Remus smiled, white teeth gleaming in the darkness of the grounds, 

“Yes, it’s a good thing. You must have a very strong magical core to yield a wolf.” He suddenly turned sharply to Harry and fixed him with a stern gaze, Harry blanched and tried to smile benignly not at all sure what Remus was after. Remus lifted his hand and placed it on Harry’s jaw, turning it from side to side to expose the neck. Harry knew that Remus was looking for marks from a werewolf’s bite but couldn’t bring himself to say that out loud, especially not when all he wanted to do was lean in to the touch and marvel at the softness of Remus’ fingers on his skin. “You are not bitten, are you?” Harry blinked a couple of times, caught off guard by the question, 

“Bitten?” He asked confused and Remus removed his hand and gave Harry a small smile, 

“Never mind. We better hurry and catch up with the others.” He said and turned, lengthening his strides and refusing to meet Harry’s eyes. Harry wasn’t sure how he should feel, he wanted to tell Remus that he knew and didn’t care one bit that he was a werewolf but on the other hand he knew that if he did Remus would never talk to him again. Remus needed his time and Harry was certain that Remus would come to him only when and where he was ready and comfortable, and Harry vowed to himself to give him that time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually in Hebrew wolf is pronounced Ze’ev but Seff sounds much cooler…


	4. Chapter Four

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JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Four: Before the Full Moon

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


As the days passed Harry got more accustomed to the rhythm of life in the Gryffindor tower in 1977. To Harry's surprise things hadn’t change at all, it was the same rush for homework, the same laid back attitude that consisted of playing games and swapping chocolate frogs' cards. Harry wasn't even sure why he was so surprised by that but it was almost disappointing to find out that nothing has changed in the past 20 years.

Harry was still struggling with his school work, having to learn all the things he used to learn but slightly askew. He suspected that the fact that it was actually the same teachers that were teaching him was also part of the reason he was having such a hard time. Lucky for him he had his mother and Remus to get him by. Lily, true to her nature of kindness and altruism took on Harry as somewhat of a project- happy to have a new focal point, and someone that could actually be taught, unlike Peter that was starting to get on her nerves slowly but surely. Remus was simply happy to explain things, even if it made Sirius constantly making fun of him, and the nickname 'professor' seemed to have stuck to the poor werewolf. Harry, on his part decided to take his little crush to the next level, or just find out if Remus was into him. But unlike his ability to plunge headlong into dangerous and near-death situations, his ability to actually speak to a person he liked left him babbling and blushing, much like his own father which frustrated Harry to no end. 

He decided that the subtle approach would work best for him, and hopefully would save him a world of embarrassment should his feelings would not be returned. And so he spent his days doing his best to flirt as cunningly as he could. He even watched the girls around him, trying to pick up the little ways they used in order to attract the attention of the boys they fancied, but to his utter disappointment Remus didn’t seem to pick any of his little smiles, eye-batting or occasional hand brushings that lingered on the skin-to-skin contact just a friction of a second too long than was strictly necessary. After several days of frantic flirting Harry was forced to reach the conclusion that Remus was either uninterested or just straight- both options seemed to have cut deep into his ego. 

While Harry was trying to find the silver lining into the heart of his unacquainted love, Lily watched. Ever the keen observer of the human behaviour she watched the drama unfold in front of her eyes. She could’ve told Harry that he was going the wrong way about things altogether, that Remus didn’t care much for subtlety and coyness, that he should have charged headlong into the situation and take what he wanted from Remus, but then again, where would be the fun in that? 

As for herself, one of the reasons she took on Harry as a project was to get James jealous, even if she would never admit it to herself. Peter was a lost case she realized, he was just too dumb or too reckless if he really thought he could swoop in and charm ‘James’ girl’- not that Lily ever admitted to anyone but she saw herself as James’ girl, and that she was merely waiting for the black-haired boy to get his nerves together and asking her out. Some vindictive part of her wouldn’t allow her to approach him; she just had too much fun watching him struggle to get one full sentence out of his mouth without a blunder. In her heart Lily knew that when James finally managed to ask her out she’d say yes, no questions asked, she just hoped it’ll happen before she turned thirty! 

Jaime was nice, polite and smart which was a refreshing change for Lily. She found quite a lot of traits that were common to both of them, which drew her close to him. She had told him about her parents and sister, about the life as a muggle-born in a world where people who weren’t born to magic were considered outsiders no matter how smart and capable they were. It saddened Harry to learn that his mother had been treated that way, but he couldn’t really be comforted by the thought that things would turn better in the future when his own best friend who undoubtedly was the smarted witch of her year was mocked and called a ‘mudblood’. 

For his part Harry spoke little of his home life, unable to say most things due to the spell Dumbledore put on him and not wanting to share the rest. He knew that if he told Lily how bad he’s been treated as a child she’d be outraged for his sake and he just couldn’t bare the thought of his mother being upset like that. This was not the way he wanted her to know him.

As the days passed Harry noticed the tension between the marauders was growing. At first he couldn’t really place the reason for it, the secretive looks they exchanged, the way all four of them seemed tense and ready to snap at the drop of a hat, until he had to consult a lunar cycle's chart for one of his Astronomy assignments and learned that the full moon was only three days away. That explained quite a lot, like why Remus was tittering on a fine edge, and why the rest of them were walking on eggshells around him. There was really nothing that Harry could do to ease Remus’ discomfort and pain, especially since no-one bothered to tell him the truth about Remus. 

That Monday, two days before the October full moon, Harry was walking back towards the Gryffindor Tower after a Quidditch practice that James insisted he’d join- and in which they discovered that apparently Harry’s talent was much less suited to the chaser’s position than it was for the seeker. But that was fine with Harry, as he never fancied being a chaser in the first place and was happy just to cheer the team along if he couldn’t play seeker. The two boys were making their way through the halls chatting amicably about Quidditch, both left last in the changing rooms. When they rounded the corner near the tower they heard raised voices and then saw Remus and Sirius standing inches apart and yelling at each other at the top of their lungs, 

“You are such a fucking rowdy child, Black! Grow the hell up!” Remus’ stance was rather threatening though he didn’t have his wand out, 

“Well, excuse me for wanting to have a bit of fun, Mister Lupin, since it’s impossible to even come within a foot distance of you these days without you biting my head off!” Sirius was yelling right back, face flushing deep red and eyes narrowed, 

“I’m very sorry that I can’t be there to stop you from being stupid all the time!” Sirius took a step back, 

“That was low, Moony! Besides, what the hell is wrong with you? Picking up on Snivellus is practically a requirement of the marauders. If I didn’t know better I’d think you actually like the guy!” Remus’ hand moved so fast that neither Sirius nor James and Harry saw it, until the tip of Remus’ wand was pointed at Sirius’ jugular. Sirius swallowed thickly and tried to back up a little, 

“Take. That. Back.” Remus growled low in his throat, his amber eyes that were usually warm and inviting were blazing with fire that made Sirius take another step back, putting some more distance between him and Remus. 

“What’s going on here?” James stepped forward, rather bravely and soon found himself staring at the wand tip that was now aimed between his eyes, “Whoa, Rem, relax!” He cried and for a long moment the scene seemed to be frozen, none of the boys able to move until Remus broke out of the trance and snapped his wand away from James and then turned and stalked away, slamming the Fat Lady’s portrait shut behind him. Sirius was the second one to react and he broke in a furious run on the opposite direction leaving a flabbergasted Harry and James at his wake. James rubbed his eyes tiredly and swore loudly, 

“Bullocks! What the hell is wrong with these two?” He cried frustrated. He looked helplessly between the portrait hole and the end of the corridor where Sirius disappeared trying to figure out which one of his two friends to follow first. Harry saw his father’s hesitation and decided to step in, relieving James of the conflict, 

“Why don’t you go and find Sirius before he does some real damage and I’ll talk to Remus?” He suggested hopefully. It took James a couple of seconds to contemplate that but eventually he nodded, 

“Ok, you go ahead; I’ll come save you as soon as I calm Pads down.” He tossed behind his shoulder already hurrying along the corridor after Sirius. When James was out of sight Harry climbed into the common room. A quick scan revealed that Remus was not there, not much of a surprise really. Harry started climbing the stairs to the dorms and tried to figure out what to say to Remus, how to get him to tell him his secret without betraying the fact that Harry already knew it.   
When he reached the door of the seventh year boys' dorm he took a deep breath before pushing it open. The room was quiet, save for the rustling sound that came from Remus’ bed, 

“Go away, James, I’m not in the mood!” He snapped and Harry smiled, 

“Sorry, wrong James.” He said cheerfully and grinned as Remus nearly jumped off his bed at the sound of his voice, 

“Bloody brilliant, he sent the new guy to do the dirty work.” Remus complained loudly, 

“Actually I told him I’d sort you out.” Harry refused to let the jibes get to him; he wasn’t going to let Remus chase him away. Taking another deep breath he ventured bravely towards Remus’ bed and lowered himself on the corner of it. Remus watched him with a bemused expression, noticing that Harry looked nervous, as if scared that Remus would hex him if he got too close- which was in fact the case. When Harry sat down Remus pulled his knees to his chest, his anger for Sirius already dissipated away. It was probably as good time as any to tell Harry what was really going on, Remus much preferred the new boy to learn the truth from him rather than from the others in three days time when Harry discovered that Remus was gone for the night. “So, what was that all about?” 

“That was Padfoot being his usual git and me getting fed up with his shit.” Remus replied quietly. 

“He was picking up on Snape again?” Harry nearly bit his tongue with the effort to avoid saying ‘Professor Snape’- some things were ingrained too deep it seems. Not that he much objected to the ‘Snivellus Pranks’ as a general rule, the satisfaction of seeing his least favourite professor getting what was coming to him was just too great but whenever he got too caught up in laughing at those pranks Harry remembered the memory he caught in Snape’s mind during their occlumency lessons- the one that revealed the cruelty of Sirius and James. Harry used this memory to put himself in constant check to make sure he’d never sink that low. 

Remus nodded and started fiddling with the edge of his pillow, which he pulled to his lap. Harry had never seen Remus this nervous and it made him slightly worried. Without thinking he reached and placed his hand over Remus’ effectively halting his fingers before they ruined the cotton fabric completely, 

“Remus, what’s wrong?” Remus took a deep sigh and wrapped his arms around his drawn knees, placing his chin on top of them, 

“Well, I guess it’s only fair to tell you, now that you’re a full marauder and all that…” He started quietly and Harry made himself more comfortable, sitting cross legged in front of Remus and eagerly waiting for him to speak. Harry wondered briefly if it was the first time Remus had ever told his secret to someone voluntarily, he hoped so, it made him feel special and after his week of unacquainted flirting his ego was ready to take just about any sort of attention from Remus. 

“The reason the marauders were formed is not to torment Snape, as extraordinary it may sound and don’t believe Sirius if he tries to tell you otherwise,” Harry felt the smile tugging at his lips but said nothing, so that Remus won’t stop talking, “It was for me, to help me keep my secret.” Harry felt his heart beating at a mile a minute, and found himself leaning forward in anticipation, Remus saw that and smiled grimly, we’ll just see how eager you’ll be once you learn the truth he silently challenged Harry, “I’m a werewolf.” 

A long silence stretched between them, while Remus was looking for signs of panic and Harry was searching for the right words that were not ‘So what?’ or ‘Is that all? I already knew that!’. Eventually Remus was the first to crack, “Well? Aren’t you going to run away?” He asked almost crossed,

“Do I look like I’m about to run?” Harry asked in a neutral tone, and Remus sneered at him, 

“You should.” 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Harry said confidently and Remus sighed, 

“Well, than you’re a fool.” Harry chuckled softly, eyes fixed on Remus who refused to look back at him, 

“What about your friends, they didn’t run either- are they fools too?” Remus raised an eyebrow at this and gave Harry a lopsided grin that went straight to his cock, 

“You have met them, haven’t you?” Both boys grinned at each other and the tension in the room seemed to be broken somewhat. “Seriously though, aren’t you scared?” 

“Scared? Why should I be scared?” Harry demanded, 

“Because I’m a fucking beast, that’s why!” Remus rubbed his hands exasperatedly over his face, damn, this guy was just as stubborn as James and Sirius were! 

“You’re not a beast. You’re a great bloke.” Harry intoned in the same soothing voice that made Remus want to smack him upside the head, why is this bloke being so thick? “Look, I don’t mind that you’re a werewolf… they’re not so bad.” Remus quirked an eyebrow at him, this time in bewilderment, 

“Have you actually met any werewolves?” 

“As a matter of fact I have. I met you.” Harry gestured with his hand at Remus and smiled, “Besides, back in my old school I had a friend that was a werewolf.” This was stretching the truth a little thin, but if it helped his cause Harry was willing to take it as far as he had to, 

“Really? What was their name?” Remus asked suspiciously, trying to figure out Harry’s ulterior motive because no one would befriend a werewolf unless they had a really good reason to, 

“Wong, Kim Wong.” Harry threw the first name that came to mind. Kim Wong was the owner of the small Chinese restaurant back in Little Whinging, where the Dursley’s loved to dine. Not that they ever took Harry there with them but Uncle Vernon and Dudley used to rave about Mr. Wong’s food- especially when Harry was around. 

“A Chinese werewolf?” Remus asked in astonishment, he’d never heard of any other werewolves, especially not ones from abroad but that made sense, after all England cannot be the only place where werewolves existed… 

“Yes, his parents worked in the ministry of magic in Russia so he ended up going to Durmstrang.” Harry said, feeling like ten kinds of idiot for making up such an elaborate story but he couldn’t very well say to Remus that in 20 or so years he’d be a teacher in this very school and teach Harry his first Patronus charm amongst other useful things. 

“How come they allowed him to go to school if he was a werewolf?” 

“No one except me knew about it. He had this special Chinese herbs mixture to help him through the full moon. I only stumbled on his secret accidentally.” 

“Well, lucky for him.” Remus muttered, this wasn’t fair, he thought grimly. He’d give anything if someone came up with something to help him through transformations, anything. 

“Yeah. I’m sure someone would come up with something to help werewolves.” Harry tried desperately to lift the spirits somewhat, after his little tongue slippage that caused Remus so much pain. He desperately wished he was better at potions so that he could help, but as it was the only person he knew who could make the wolfsbane potion was Snape and he seriously doubted that Snape had mastered it yet- or even if the potion has been developed yet. 

“Not bloody likely. People have absolutely no desire to help dark creatures. We’re evil.” Remus said scornfully and Harry reached his hand again to place it on top of Remus’, 

“You’re not evil! Stop saying that!” He cried exasperatedly, this self-bashing was hurting him and he wished Remus would be able to think better of himself, 

“Aren’t you a sweetheart?” Remus drawled sarcastically and Harry withdrew his hands back looking slightly offended. Remus cringed inwardly at the subconscious gesture, he hadn’t meant to alienate Harry, it wasn’t like he could afford to lose people that were actually sympathetic to his situation. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled and ducked his head, hiding his face in his pillow that was trapped in the cage of his knees and body, way to go Lupin, he chided himself, 

“It’s alright. I guess going through all this isn’t easy,” Harry said quietly, pleased with the apology and glad that Remus didn’t seem to push him away, “I wish there was something I could do help…” Remus shrugged without lifting his head, 

“The guys change into their Animagus forms and come running in the Forbidden Forest with me.” 

“I can do that.” Remus lifted his head and cocked an amused eyebrow at Harry’s eagerness, 

“You can learn how to turn into an animagus in three days?” Harry bit his lip, scolding himself for speaking so rashly, 

“I… can’t?” Remus shook his head with a slight smile, 

“It took James and Sirius nearly three years to figure it out.” Harry was quite floored by that, he knew of course that the Animagus magic was a very complicated one but he never realized how complicated. 

“I’ll learn it; maybe in time for the next full moon,” Remus looked rather dubious but Harry prattled on not giving him a chance to speak, “What can I do in the meanwhile?” Remus opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, looking rather perplexed, why would Jaime want to help him out? Even Peter was quite reluctant to take any action beyond agreeing to keep his secret safe. 

This new guy was intriguing, he wasn’t like any of the others Remus met, there was something about him… Like, like he too had a big secret of his own, something he couldn’t share with others. If there was one thing Remus knew it was secrets and how bad it made one feel to have to keep them. Secrets made you an outcast, no-one liked secrets and no one wanted anything to do with someone who had them. And yet, here he was, Jaime Harrison, barely three weeks with the Marauders and already he was nearly beating James on a broom and wanting to care for Remus. It made the young werewolf’s insides warm up with gratefulness. 

“Nothing really, just keep me from killing Sirius. I get really tense around the full moon, its lure is getting stronger and it’s harder to fight the wolf inside me.” He said quietly. Harry felt like crying, he just wanted to reach out and pull Remus into his arms and sooth his fear and pain away, but instead he remained in his seat and nodded sombrely, 

“I can defiantly do that.”


	5. Chapter Five

****

JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Five: In the moonlight  
(Title from the anime ‘Gravitation’)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


That Wednesday morning Harry woke up with a foreboding feeling. He knew it was full moon tonight, yet he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act. Throughout the day the Marauders had been uncharacteristically quiet and tense but Harry could feel there was an undercurrent of bubbling excitement, which made him uneasy. He knew that the rest of the Marauders were faithful to Remus and would never betray his secret but he still felt it was a little unfair that they were so thrilled about going down to the Forbidden Forest, breaking nearly every school rule there was, turn to their animal selves and have good time. It was as if Remus was only an afterthought in their plans of fun and it irked Harry.

Ever since Remus confided with him about his darkest secret Harry felt closer to the werewolf than ever, since this time he got to know the truth because Remus wanted to tell him not because Hermione was shouting it in the Shrieking Shack when they all thought Sirius was a traitor who was after Harry’s life. This time it was on Remus’ terms and it warmed Harry’s heart that Remus trusted him. 

After dinner the five of them headed to the infirmary, but left Remus to walk through the door alone to be escorted to the Shack by Madame Pomfrey. No one at school, staff and students alike knew that Remus’ friends were aware of his situation thus they could not accompany him and stay with him for the last couple of hours before his transformation. Harry had his suspicions that Dumbledore knew of the arrangement, just as he always knew when Harry was wandering about the castle after curfew and turned a blind eye. He knew full well that there was nothing that escaped the old man’s attention; nothing was hidden from him in his little domain. 

The four remaining Marauders went back to the common room to await curfew. Harry was on pins and needles most of the day but now it was nearly intolerable. He couldn’t bring himself to concentrate on anything and found himself snapping at anyone who dared turning to him. 

Eventually he decided to retire for the night as he had little better to do. He climbed to the dorm room slowly, feeling anxiety and fright in each of his bones. The moon had risen nearly an hour ago and he couldn’t help but worry about Remus. Going through the motions of getting ready to bed Harry finally climbed into his four-poster and shut the curtains behind him, not wanting to witness the others come into the room and then leave.

He couldn’t sleep, so he lay there with his eyes open and his muscles pulled tight, straining to hear any odd sound that was coming from outside, even though he logically knew that he won’t be able to hear Remus, not when the Shack was on the other side and out of the grounds and soundproof, but he still imagined he could hear the screams of agony and pain and that broke his heart, knowing that his love was going through such immense pain and there was nothing Harry could do to help. 

Soon the room was filled with the soft noises of his dorm mates coming in, it was near curfew and they had to at least appear as if they were going to sleep. Harry rolled over and pushed the pillow over his head, trying to block their inane chattering. Suddenly the curtains around his bed were yanked open and Sirius’ smiling face peered in, 

“Hey, Jay, listen- we’re off. We’ll be back at dawn, you watch over the forte, yeah?” Harry nodded tightly, wishing with all his might that he could join the others but knew it was futile to even ask. This was not one of those situations where his invisibility cloak would come in handy- not that he had it with him, though he could borrow it from James, after all… This was way too dangerous and as much as Harry wanted to be there for Remus he knew that if he went out there unprotected and got himself hurt- which was likely to happen since Remus didn’t have the wolfsbane potion than Remus would be very upset and probably hate Harry and that would ruin everything the dark-haired boy had been working for. 

When the room was quiet again Harry sighed and rolled to his back, looking at the canopy of his four-poster bed. The moonlight filtering through the window was thin and it caused strange shadows to pool in the folds of the fabric. After staring up for nearly ten minutes Harry couldn’t take it any longer, he jumped out of his bed and started pacing the room. His bare feet were echoing on the wooden floor and made him feel as if he wasn’t alone in the room which was rather creepy. For the first time in the seven years he’d spend in Hogwarts he was alone in his room at night time, completely alone and that frightened him. 

Harry grabbed his dressing gown and padded softly to the common room, hoping that someone was still there so that he was able to stifle that irrational feeling of dread. However the common room was completely empty and Harry sighed in registration, no luck tonight. He perched himself on the big sofa by the fire and summoned to him a book he saw on the table, not caring what it was about since he knew he couldn’t concentrate anyway, but at least it gave him something to do. He then pointed his wand at the fireplace and ignited the logs back to life in a merry crackle. 

Harry leaned back with a sigh and opened the book, which turned out to be “The Hobbit”, and started to read. But he soon realized that Tolkien’s magic wasn’t working on his tonight as his thoughts kept drifting back to Remus and every now and then he discovered that he was simply staring at the page without seeing a thing. 

“Having troubles sleeping?” Harry nearly fell to the floor with surprise and looked around widely, 

“Lily,” He gasped as he retrieved the book which fell to the floor, “You frightened me.” The Head Girl smiled pleasantly at him and sat herself comfortably on the sofa next to him, pulling her forest green dressing gown around her. 

“Sorry.” She said without meaning it, “You’re worried about him aren’t you?” Harry tried to shrug uncaringly; not at all sure he should talk to Lily about this. Mother or no mother, Remus' secret was not his to tell others. 

"What do you mean?" Lily rolled her eyes, gods but Harry was the worst liar ever. 

"I mean Remus," She said cheerfully, when Harry gave her an incredulous look she huffed, "Oh, come on, I know you fancy him and I know he's a werewolf." When Harry’s eyes opened wide Lily wondered briefly if they might fall out of his head, the thought was both amusing and disturbing to her, “Don’t worry, he told me himself. Without me having to squeeze him for information… much…” Harry tried to smile but felt like his throat was closing, this conversation wasn’t going to lead anywhere good, he could see it already, as clear as a train accident you can’t prevent. 

“So, tell me,” Lily leaned back in her seat and folded her legs under her, getting comfortable and looked like she had every intention to stay right where she was, “What would you do if you had Remus right here, right now?” Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, feeling the heat rising to his face, his brain screaming protests. 

“I… I’d hold him and protect him and try to keep him safe…” He mumbled, hoping beyond hope that his mother, his own mother would do him the biggest grace and drop the subject! 

“Oh, please! No wonder you can’t get him, he’s not into girls silly, didn’t you get that already?” 

“Hey!” Harry tried to protest weakly, knowing all too well that his mother has won. 

“Let’s try this again,” Lily said, taking a deep breath and piercing the poor boy in front of her with her commanding green eyes. Harry rolled his eyes and looked at her, “What would you do if you had Remus here, remember, we’re talking about the guy you fancy, here and naked?” Harry closed his eyes in pain and decided to plunge in and get it over with, and hey who knows he might gross Lily out into silence- well, one could only hope…

“I’d kiss him and lick and bite my way down to his cock. Then toss him on the floor and ride him like there’s no tomorrow.” He surprised even himself when he even managed to toss in an angelic smile. Luckily this strategy paid off and Lily looked slightly green hearing all this coming out of his mouth, 

“Alright, alright,” She cried and tossed her hands in the air, “I get it! No need to go into all this!” Harry, now fully back in his element, leaned back with a satisfied smirk,

“Hey, you asked I answered.” A silence stretched between the two, each absorbed in his or her thoughts for a long moment. Harry gave his mother a sideways glance and decided to ask the question that has been bugging him since he first discovered he was more attracted to boys than girls, 

“Lily, can I ask you something?” Lily nodded and rested her cheek on her hand that was perched on the back of the sofa, Harry licked his suddenly dry lips and plunged in, “What would you do if your son came to you and told you that he was gay?” 

“Gay and in love with a werewolf?” Harry frowned at her, 

“Huh?” Lily picked up the slack quickly, before Harry had too much of a chance to ponder over her words, 

“Is he happy, being gay, I mean.” 

“I suppose…” Harry answered slowly; the direction the conversation was taking was getting him mainly baffled. 

“Than I’m happy too.” Lily stated firmly with a warm smile. Harry felt a huge sigh of relief building inside him; this went rather well, “Ok, now it’s my turn!” Lily exclaimed excitedly, “What’s your name?” 

“Jaime…” Harry looked at his mother as if she was something that just fell out of the sky, what sort of a question is that? 

“No it isn’t. What’s your real name?” Harry opened his mouth, completely gob smacked, but of course the confudus charm that Dumbledore placed on him prevented him from answering even if he did want to, 

“My name?” He stumbled rather pathetically, 

“I’ve been able to throw off memory charms since I was fourteen! I know it was you that I saw that night! You and that cute blond you were with…” She added almost dreamily and Harry nearly gagged, 

“He is _not_ cute!” 

“Yeah, he is,” Lily argued fiercely but at the sight of Harry’s face she decided to drop the subject for the moment, “Dumbledore put a confudus charm on you, hasn’t he?” Harry nodded, his eyes filling with fear. He knew that his mother was far too smart not to figure out things but he was worried what her reaction would be. Lily, on the other hand, looked thoroughly excited, her green eyes twinkling and sparkling and every inch of her stance posed and ready to pounce and attack. 

“Let’s do it this way- I’ll ask questions and you answer yes or no, you can nod or blink if you feel uncomfortable to speak, you know one blink for yes two for no.” She rubbed her hands gleefully together, “Ok, let’s start… You’re not really an exchange student from Durmstrang, are you?” 

“No.” Despite himself Harry was getting caught up in Lily’s enthusiasm, 

“When I first saw you, you had on Hogwarts uniform. Are you a student here?” 

“Yes.” 

“A Gryffindor?” 

“Yes.” Lily rubbed her forehead in deep thought, 

“Well, when I first saw you I thought you were James. Are you two related?” The closer Lily got to the mark the edgier it made Harry feel and he feared the moment when Lily discovered the truth but on the other hand he couldn’t tear himself away. Some morbid curiosity was keeping him firmly in his place and making him answer Lily’s questions obediently. 

“Yes.” 

“Ok, you’re related to James… A cousin?” Harry shook his head in amusement. “Not a cousin… This is really exciting!” 

“No, it isn’t! Can we please stop?” He pleaded, but Lily wouldn’t budge, 

“No! Hmm, let’s see… A Gryffindor, related to James, but not a cousin… Damn, Dumbledore must have changed you eye colour and hair… but I doubt he changed the shape of your eyes… look at me.” She commanded and Harry found himself being scrutinized by a pair of inquisitive green almond shape eyes, so similar to his own… 

“Stop squinting!” Lily cried impatiently and Harry felt the need to squint and blink even more than before. 

“I’m sorry, you unnerve me!” Harry cried out and felt like a complete idiot, no wonder James could ever utter a full sentence around this girl, she was downright scary! 

“Your eyes look very familiar… Where did I see them before?” In the mirror… Harry thought in amusement mixed with dread, “What’s you original eye colour?” Harry clamed his mouth shut, shit! “Oh, sorry, forgot the confudus…” Harry gave a slight smile, glad that Lily came up with an explanation of her own, “Back to yes and no questions, are your eyes green?” Harry’s eyes flew wide open and he gulped, shit, shit and double shit! “Ah- Ha!” Lily cried in triumph and Harry cursed under his breath for being so transparent.

“You look like James and you have my eyes…” Lily mused loudly, finger tapping her chin and Harry wanted to keel over and die- this was so unfair… 

“Lily please…” Lily fixed him with a stern gaze, making Harry back away from her on the sofa, almost subconsciously, 

“You’re my son, aren’t you? Mine and James.” The panic that was steadily rising in Harry’s chest was finally making its way out, and he gasp in horror. He couldn’t deny it, he didn’t want to- some part of him wanted Lily to know that truth, wanted her to take him in her arms and comfort him, just like she should have done so many times before but never did.   
For a long moment the two sat in silence, each absorbing the magnitude of the discovery, Harry was praying forcefully inside that Lily won’t freak out and do something crazy. 

“Well,” Lily said with a sigh, “That’s quite unexpected… But… brilliant!” It took Harry a couple of seconds for the words to sink in, 

“It is?” He asked tentatively, and Lily nodded vigorously,

“Yeah! At least it means that James will ask me out at some point!” 

“Aren’t you completely weirded out?” Harry asked in shock, why wasn’t Lily freaking out? What was wrong with her? 

“Oh, yeah, this is totally mind blowing! I’ve got a son who’s my age, gay and in love with a werewolf!” 

“You said you were OK with _that_!” Harry cried out in shock, great, she didn’t care that he was her son but she was going to give him hard time for wanting Remus… 

“Just summing things up.” Lily said with a reassuring voice, holding her hands up, 

“Lily, you have to keep this a secret, no one, and I mean no one can know of this! Damn, I shouldn’t have told you any of this in the first place…” He lamented softly and Lily gave him a crooked smile, 

“You didn’t tell me anything… and don’t worry, I don’t exactly fancy my reputation as the smartest witch in school ruined because people would think I’m a nutter. Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me… Son.” Harry groaned and hid his face in his hands, 

“Oh, Merlin, please don’t call me that…” Lily let out a hearty laugh, collapsing against the sofa’s back, she was having the time of her life here, and she knew that the full meaning of the discovery won’t land on her until tomorrow morning… and when it landed it would land like a ton of bricks right on her head! But for the moment she decided to play along and take it all in stride. 

“Well, in the spirit of new found family ties, I decided I’m going to help you get Remus.” She told the stunned Harry. 

“Why would you do that?” Harry was rather suspicious, not that he had much experience with mothers but he was fairly sure that they were not supposed to help you get your gay crush… 

“Because I think you could both benefit from each other and it’s going to be mightily entertaining for me.” 

“Oh, brilliant…” Harry muttered. 

Harry knew that Lily was bursting with questions about him and his life and her future and Harry was never more thankful to Dumbledore for insisting on putting a confudus charm on him. After a few futile attempts to dig information Lily gave up, knowing that she lost. In a way she was actually happy about it, because deep down she didn’t really want to know what her life was going to be like from now on- as one who never believed in god (regardless of the fact that her mother and father insisted on her going to church every Sunday she was home) and fate she liked to think that she still had some freewill and was still in control of her future, son or no son. 

Soon the two of them drifted off to talk of other things, falling back to the easy pattern of friends rather than mother and son. Despite being unable to sleep before Harry felt his eyes slowly dropping close, and when Lily yawned wide he realized how tired he really was. The two scrambled and rearranged themselves more comfortably on the sofa, drifting to the arms of sleep. 

And this is how the three Marauders found them several hours later. As soon as the moon sank and Remus returned to his human form his three mates left him sleeping in the Shrieking Shack, as they did every month and made their way back to the Gryffindor common room, exhausted and grinning. 

An impatient cough made Harry stir and open his eyes slowly, blinking a little before fixing his glasses back on his nose. As the picture turned clear again he looked to see the Sirius, Peter and James all standing in a row in front of the sofa, looking down at him with arms crossed over their chests. A soft mutter came from his side and Harry looked down to see Lily coming to slowly, only then realizing that they fell asleep cuddled on the sofa. He carefully sat up, feeling the muscles in his neck creaking in protest. 

“Hey guys, what’s up? Where’s Remus?” He asked groggily, rubbing sleep from his eyes, 

“Sleeping.” Sirius answered curtly, “You two seem rather cosy, hot night, was it?” He added with a smirk, 

“Very funny, Black! We were just talking.” Lily answered with a huff. Harry didn’t dare lifting his eyes to see James’ expression. He knew it wasn’t a favourable one. 

“Hey, I’m just calling it as I see it.” Sirius shrugged and then gave out a yawn that nearly split his face in half, “Well, I’m off to bed then, coming Pete?” The short boy nodded and followed Sirius out of the common room, yawning just as wide. James stayed where he was, his eyes still fixed on the pair sitting on the sofa. 

“Well, I see how this is going.” James said in an icy cold tone, “I shall retire as well if it’s all the same to you.” Lily sighed and rose from the sofa, standing challengingly in front of James. Harry watched with avid eyes as his parents seemed prepared for a heated argument, 

“Oh, for pit’s sake James Potter! What the hell crawled up your stag arse and died?” Harry bit the inside of his cheek trying to keep his laughter at bay, as James looked raged at Lily, 

“I beg your pardon? I’m sure it’s none of my business who you choose to frolic with.” He said haughtily,

“Frolic?” Lily shrieked with rage, “Frolic? Are you mental? Oh, for the love of Merlin!” She cried and advanced at James who took a step back from the raging redhead in front of him, “I’ve spent seven years watching you stumble and mumble, listening to your illegible gibbering whenever you tired to talk to me and the first time you manage to utter a complete sentence is to tell me that I frolic? With Jaime?” James opened his mouth but no answer came, “There’s a Hogsmede Weekend next week, do you think you can retain this ability to speak in whole sentences long enough to ask me out?” This seemed to cause James to snap out of his shock and he cried out in a rush, 

“Lily, would you go out with me next week?” 

“YES!” Lily nearly screamed before she turned on her heel and stormed to the girls’ dormitory. Harry watched after her in shock, that was rather unexpected… He slowly turned his gaze to James again, not in the least surprised to see the biggest, goofiest grin on his face, 

“Did you see that Jay? I’ve scored a date with Lily…” Harry rose from his seat with a smile. He grabbed James’ arm and started heading towards the dorms, 

“Come on lover boy, its _way_ past your bedtime.”


	6. Chapter Six

****

JADED

..oo00oo..

  
**Chapter Six:** He loves me, he loves me not…

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


The next morning found the five Gryffindor boys sitting bleary-eyed and yawning in the Great Hall for breakfast. Harry poked at his food unenthusiastically while the others nearly dropped around him. He knew that Remus was in the infirmary and had made up his mind that he’d go and visit the boy as soon as possible. He also knew that his friends were going to trudge their way through classes and drop as soon as dinner was over. But Harry decided that he would take a little time to go visit Remus before first period, detention hazard or not. In the past month he learned that it didn’t really matter if he actually went to class or not, as he fully intended to go back to his time before he had to take the 1970's version of the NEWTs. Or at least he hoped he would.

As soon as the three got up on their feet and started trudging their way to the Divination tower, Harry quickly assembled a sandwich for Remus and started making his way to the Hospital Wing. When he reached the door he stood stock still for a few moments, gathering up his courage and trying to convince himself that nothing would please Remus more than seeing him right now. 

He pushed the door slowly and peeked around it, trying to assess which was Remus’ bed. As it turned out it wasn’t very difficult as he was the infirmary’s only occupant at the moment. Harry tiptoed his way to the bed, keeping a vigilant eye in case Madame Pomfrey decided to pop out of her office.

When Remus heard the door opened he decided to keep his eyes closed. He’s been awake for a while now, but the mere thought of movement was making him tired so he didn’t bother. A soft pattering of feet was approaching his bed and he knew it wasn’t the matron. Only when the mystery person sat down by his bedside did Remus open his eyes to acknowledge them.   
Harry smiled tentatively when he saw the beautiful golden eyes slowly open. He sat on the edge of his seat trying to look natural, 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked softly, Remus shrugged, 

“Like every bone in my body was broken down then assembled back into something completely different, every inch of my skin split open to…” 

“Ok!” Harry cried, raising his hand, “I get it…” Remus turned his head to the window, a smug smile on his face- grossing out James, Sirius and Peter had lost its charm long time ago, Peter being way too sensitive and Sirius and James way too resilient. “I brought you a bacon sandwich… Most of my memories from the infirmary, apart from skele-grow of course involved bad food.” Harry knew he was babbling but he couldn’t help himself, not when those eyes were back on him. Damn you James Potter and your inability to talk to people you fancy!

“Thanks, Jaime, you’re a life saver!” Remus cried happily and grabbed the sandwich from Harry’s hand. Harry watched in amusement the way Remus devoured the food. After he finished his sandwich, Remus daintily started licking the grease and crumbs off his fingers, Harry watched in fascination as the pink tongue wrapped itself around each digit, licking slowly and deliberately. 

He couldn’t avert his eyes; transfixed by the movements of that slick muscle and wondering what it would be like if that tongue was licking _his_ fingers instead, how would it feel if it was his skin moistened by this sinfully skilful tongue. When the last finger left Remus’ mouth with a satisfying pop Harry seemed to have regained some of his composure and he gulped thickly, and fixed his eyes on the white sheet on the edge of Remus’ bed. 

“So, when are you getting out of here?” He asked, eyes still fixed on the linen and fingers twiddling with uneasiness, 

“Madame Pomfrey would probably discharge me near lunch time; she likes to keep me here until then on a weekday full moon. On weekends it's until dinner.” Remus said with a shrug. Not that he cared much, after all, being in the infirmary guaranteed him some alone time which was exactly what he needed after what he’s been through the previous night. 

Harry looked like he was on the verge of saying something for the last couple of minutes but held himself back. Remus watched him with amusement, wondering when the boy would muster enough courage to say the words he wanted to say. He had picked up the boy’s scent as soon as Harry made his way into the Hospital Wing and the pheromones wafting from him would have sent a monk to an orgy. Remus found it rather amusing that the new kid was so obviously struggling and he thought he understood Lily better now. After all, she had to endure years of James’ babbling. It was true that at first Remus didn’t much think of the new guy, but even he couldn’t ignore the blatant and obvious arousal coming from him. And that was after Jamie learned that Remus was werewolf! 

Remus shot a side-glance at Harry and sighed inwardly. He could not afford to mess up this chance, not when Harry was a wolf animagus, not when he was so shy and coy and starved for every bit of Remus’ attention, hell the boy even brought him a sandwich after the full moon- no one ever brought him a sandwich to the infirmary. Come to think of it, none of his friends ever came to visit him after the full moon. It was part not wanting to blow the cover of their knowledge and part sheer exhaustion after a night of running wild in the forest that usually sent them straight to their own beds. Yet Jaime was there, sitting by his bedside, looking at the white sheets as if they held the answer to all life’s mysteries. A sudden rustle was heard from the direction of Madame Pomfrey’s office and Harry’s head snapped up, 

“Shit, I better split before she finds me here,” He whispered to Remus, “I’ll see you later.” And with a last fleeting smile at the door Harry was gone. Remus looked at the door for a long moment, lost in thought. Part of him wanted to be mad at Harry, for making his life more complicated than before, he didn't understand Harry's motives and that vexed him to no end. What reason does the new guy have to fancy him after he learned the truth? The only others who know the truth were his friends and they were more into mischief and breaking school rules than deep care for him, Remus. But Jamie wanted him; he was concerned with Remus' well being… 

Another part of him was over the moon with joy, because for the first time in his whole life Remus felt like he might have a chance to be happy. He could learn to love, he never did it before but he could learn- Jaime looked like someone who had obscenely huge amounts of love to give and he seem adamant on giving it all to Remus. 

For the rest of the day thoughts of Jamie kept plaguing Remus. After his discharge from the infirmary he went back to the common room, fully intent on talking to Harry and find out what was really going on, only to discover that he had gone to the library with Lily. A big part of Remus was actually relieved that he didn't have to face Harry so soon, because he still needed time to process what he was really feeling.

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The following weeks had been the hardest Harry had to endure in Hogwarts, both in his time and in 1977, it wasn't that his studies became harder or anything, in fact school-wise he was actually improving, it was the fact that Remus seemed to completely shut him out. Lily said that subtlety wasn't the way to approach the other boy, and Harry was all for charging head on into things but he never got a chance to do that. After that morning when he came to see Remus in the infirmary the teen werewolf ignored him completely. Harry was at his wits end as to what could have offended his crush so much- from some reason he doubted it was the sandwich he brought to the Hospital Wing. He tried to approach Remus several times, hoping to goad the latter into talking- hell even a shouting match like Lily and James had would be acceptable at this point; Harry was a desperate man in love.

To make matters worse, James took Lily to Hogsmede on a date that proved to be a smashing success. They soon became the 'new couple' around the Gryffindor tower, much to the delight of all the girls and the slight disappointment of the boys who were having tremendous fun over James' blunders. Harry was happy for his parents, he really was (well, he had to be, otherwise it would have put his own existence in jeopardy…), but it still stung to see them both acting like 'gooey love birds' as Sirius so accurately put it. It reminded him all the more of what he'd been longing for and been denied by reasons beyond his control. 

It was a Monday morning towards the middle of November, when Harry trudged unenthusiastically to breakfast, not feeling in the least bit hungry after watching Remus joking and laughing with Sirius on the way down to breakfast while he was left behind to walk with Peter. He still couldn’t bring himself to be nice to the little rat and he long ago stopped forcing it and just settled for distant politeness. Which wasn't that bad since it seemed that Peter couldn't really stand him either. Just before they reached the doors of the Great Hall a voice called out, 

"P… Har… New Gryffindor kid!" Harry turned around slowly, eyebrows raised in suspicion and hurt, to see Malfoy standing by the corridor leading to the dungeons with his usual haughty expression and a slight frown, 

"Yes, new Slytherin kid?" Harry said as sweetly as he could, actually enjoying the discomfort he was causing Malfoy. 

"We need to talk." 

"Is that so?" 

"Yes!" Malfoy snapped and before Harry could protest his arm was grabbed and he found himself being huddled into an empty classroom. Once the pressure was lifted from his arm, Harry stumbled a little and caught himself on a desk. 

"What the hell was that for?" He cried out and rubbed his sore arm. Malfoy, who took a stand beside the teacher's desk turned slowly to face Harry. Any snapping comments Harry might had died on his lips when he saw the face of his nemesis. 

"Look, Harry," Malfoy's voice was pained at the necessity of using Harry's first name, "I don't want to talk to you anymore than you want to talk to me, and believe me I would never even bother to acknowledge you if I had a choice." 

"Well, that's really sweet of you…" Harry drawled and crossed his arms, leaning against the desk with a huff. 

"Anyway, since we're the only ones who know that we're here, apart from that old coot who, by the way, is the most useless git I've ever had the misfortune to meet, we need to put our heads together and figure out how to get out of this hell hole!" Malfoy's words were making sense, in a way, Harry thought, they will have to return to their own time, and since there wasn't much to look forwards to in 1977 he figured Malfoy had a point. 

"Yeah, I suppose. So what do you suggest we do? I mean Dumbledore said he was on the case." 

"And you believe him?" Harry shrugged, it didn't really matter what he would say, Malfoy would sneer at him anyway. "I think we should try and get a message to our time." 

"Really, should we send an owl or do you want to do it the muggle way?" Harry was rather amazed to see just how much sarcasm the pale Slytherin was dragging out of him, 

"No, you twat! We use the library. I've been thinking about it and I think the best way would be if you left a note for your little bookworm mudblood to find." 

"Not with that attitude I won't!" Harry cried and turned to leave the room. No matter what year he might be in, mudblood was not an acceptable term when talking about one of his best friends! 

"Alright, alright, damn it! Relax Harry, I'm… sorry I used the 'M' word. Gods you Gryffindors are so touchy." Harry turned slowly, not quite believing his ears, did Malfoy just apologized to him, for calling Hermione a mudblood? Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse? He looked at Malfoy incredulously for a long moment, trying to gauge whether his ears were deceiving him or not, until the blond boy had enough, "Close your mouth, Scarhead; you're going to catch flies!" Malfoy snapped and Harry nearly sighed in relief. 

"Ok, what was your genius plan again?" 

"You write a note to the mud… Granger and tell her what's going on and send her to get help from the other side, and then we hide this note inside one of the library books. One that is bound to remain there in twenty years but is remote enough so that not just any jackass could find it, got it?" Harry nodded slowly, this sounded like a reasonable plan. A part of him was objecting it though, feeling rather reluctant to leave this time. He much preferred to let Dumbledore take his sweet time to solve this case because it would give him more time with Remus. But on the other hand, with the way things are currently going, he wasn't too sure that more time with Remus would lead to anything but a bigger heartbreak on his part. 

"Yeah, I got it. But why don't you write the note to one of your cronies?" 

"Because," Draco was trying to patient, he really was, you need the git's help he kept reminding himself, but it was getting increasingly harder to keep his cool in face of such blunted thickness, "None of my friends know the library like the back of their bloody hand! They tend to leave this job to me."

"Alright, fine, whatever. I'll write that stupid note." 

"Good, then I think we should meet somewhere out of sight to do it." Harry looked in slight shock, 

"What do you mean meet somewhere? I am perfectly capable of writing a bloody note on my own!" 

"Really? Well, I don't trust you; I want to make sure you put everything needs putting in and leave out everything that needs be left out." Harry could feel the start of a headache tugging behind his eyes and just sighed in registration, 

"Fine, have it your way. When do you want to meet? And where?" Draco gave it a couple of moment's thoughts, 

"How about here, say after dinner. We'll write it down and tomorrow we'll go put it in the library." 

"Ok, see you then." Harry agreed and left before Malfoy could come up with other ways to insult him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all of you who are dying to see some action- don’t worry, it’ll come, I promise.   
> For all of you who’ve been wondering what’s going on with Draco- don’t worry, it’ll come, I promise.   
> For all of you who wanted to see Draco and Snape together- Go look for another story… not going to happen, I promise.


	7. Chapter Seven

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JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Seven: Well secluded I see all  
(Title from the song ‘Time Warp’ from ‘Rocky Horror picture show’)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


Harry rubbed his tired, stinging eyes. If he’d known it would take so long to write a bloody letter he’d leave the job to Malfoy and be done with it. But finally, after long hours and longer arguments on practically every word the rivals-turned-allies managed to produce something that was acceptable on both. Harry blinked several times before he managed to focus his eyes on the parchment, rereading the letter,

 _“Dear Hermione,  
I know this is going to shock you as I'm not even sure you noticed me missing, but I have. I'm back in 1977, with Malfoy, can you believe it?   
We were arguing somewhere in the dungeons and somehow we both fell through a 'Tempus Alcove', I'm pretty sure you know better than me how these things work, or you will once you hit the books…  
Anyway, we need you to inform Dumbledore of what happened and when we are so he could try and bring us back from your side, but please don't tell anyone else about any of this!   
Other than that everything is alright, I met the Marauders and let me tell you- all the stories are true! I really wish you were here to help me with my schoolwork, though…   
I miss you guys a lot.   
Love, Harry."_

“Gods these were the longest, most excruciating three hours of my life!” He exclaimed loudly, folding the parchment neatly and putting it in his bag, Draco looked at him with his arms crossed and a sneer, 

“That was your fault! You illiterate sod!” 

“Always a pleasure to work with you, let’s not do it again!” Harry snarled back and rose from his seat, feeling the bones and muscles in his back popping back to usage after nearly three hours of being crouched over his work. 

“Meet me in the library tomorrow after dinner; we’ll search for the right book.” Harry nodded silently, not wanting to prolong their stay in the deserted classroom. 

After Malfoy left he stretched himself up, shoving his things unceremoniously into his bag and donning on the invisibility cloak he borrowed from James. He started making his way slowly through the corridors, he wasn't too sleepy and he didn’t really want to go back to the common room and have Remus ignore him again. So he continued to trudge through the empty halls feeling sorry for himself. 

When he passed a corridor on the third floor a movement caught his eye, Harry halted and stood stock still, fearing it might be Filch and Mrs. Norris. He felt his heart pounding in his ears and slowly glided towards the wall and pressed against it, trying to breathe as shallowly as he could. It took Harry's paralysed brain a moment or two to remember that Filch wasn't even in school yet, and that Mrs. Norris wasn't even born. Harry breathed a mental sigh of relief, the current caretaker was somewhat weak in his discipline, a fact that the marauders exploited all they could. 

Harry watched in silence as the figure peered carefully around the corner, and then slid into the seemingly empty corridor. He held his breath in shock to see none other than the man who taunted his dreams. Remus was gliding stealthily down the corridor, looking purposefully and peering around him in caution. Harry didn't even think twice before he started following the teenage werewolf. 

Together they made it to the lower floors, and then the entry hall. Harry was mightily surprised to see that Remus led the way out of the castle. It wasn't likely that he'd choose to go to the forbidden forest if he didn't absolutely needed to after all. But it seemed that Remus had another path as he made his way swiftly and surly towards the glass greenhouses. 

Remus opened the door to the still and dark greenhouse and made his way towards the end of it. Harry followed, wondering what sort of plant needed such late night care. But it seemed that Remus was not that interested in plants at the moment since he didn't bother with any light, save for his wand-light and when they approached the back of the stuffy glass greenery a figure rose. In the dim light of Remus' wand it was hard for Harry to tell who the person was but he could tell they had red hair. The gangliness of the boy, for it was a boy, reminded Harry of Ron from some reason. 

"It's about time you showed up, Lupin, I was nearly giving up on you." The boy said with a slight smirk in his tone and lit a couple of candles that were placed on the shelf behind him, 

"I didn’t have James' cloak with me. I had to be clever." Remus replied somewhat testily and leaned against the long worktable. Harry watched them with a feeling of dread starting to built in the pit of his stomach, 

"You _Gryffindors_ put too much importance on that stupid cloak!" The boy sneered,

"Do I detect a hint of hostility towards Gryffindors? Feeling a bit left out, are we Prewett?" Remus teased with a smile, and Fabian huffed, 

"Gryffindor may be good and dandy for Molly and Gideon, but I'm quit happy in Hufflepuff, thank you very much!" Harry's brain gears were working overtime at this, Molly, Prewett, Gideon… This must be Fabian Prewett, bloody hell; he was looking at Ron's uncle who was flirting shamelessly with his crush! Harry opened his mouth to protest but closed it again without making a sound. What was there to say really? He couldn't very well march up there and tell them to stop whatever they were doing… So he watched, with clenched jaw and weak knees, Remus approaching the Hufflepuff boy and growling low in his throat for him to be quiet. 

And Harry further watched as Remus took control of the situation and grabbed the boy roughly and pinned him to the glass wall, taking his mouth in a brutal kiss that Fabian seemed to enjoy immensely if his moans were any indication. Harry felt his heart clench tight as if someone squeeze all the blood out of it, his lungs were drawing painful breaths that were hurting his throat. There was only one way this was going and it wasn’t the way Harry wanted it to go. But still he couldn't leave, or tear his eyes away. 

Remus was ruthless, every move he made was forceful, every sound guttural and they went straight to Harry's cock, much to his shame. He never thought he had any voyeuristic intentions but still there he was, watching Remus bending Fabian Prewett over the worktable and getting ready to shag him senseless. When Harry felt the first tears streaming down his cheeks he knew he’d seen enough. 

He turned and walked back to the entrance, not even bothering to be too quiet, knowing that the two teens in the back would not be aware of their surroundings for a while. He slid past the door and yanked the invisibility cloak from him, finding the sheer and transparent fabric to be constricting and restrictive. He needed to feel the cool night air on his face, feel himself breathing again after the heat and stuffiness of the greenhouse and what he'd just seen. He ran back to the castle, as fast as his legs could carry him, up staircases and down corridors. He didn't care if he was caught; in fact some part of him itched for a good fight with a prefect or the caretaker. Tears were still streaming down his face but he didn't notice them anymore. Nothing seemed to matter any longer, he was alone and alone he would remain, and not even Lily's generous proposal to help him get Remus would help as the werewolf would never be his. 

Once inside the dorm room he tossed the cloak on James's trunk and himself on his bed, breathing hard, his body wrecked by sobbing, broken breaths. Never more than before he wanted to go back to his own time, where things were less complicated, where crushes were teachers and there were better reasons for not being able to have them. He decided then that he’d do whatever he could to hasten his return home, back to his friends and the Hogwarts he knew.

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The next morning Harry woke up with a splitting headache and puffy eyes from crying. He spent nearly thirty minutes under the hot jets of water in the shower before he started feeling like a human being again. He didn’t want to talk to Remus, he didn’t even want to see him- the sight of his crush kept bringing back the shameful scenes from last night and each memory seemed to torture Harry’s soul further.

He used the weather as an excuse for his bad mood, and claimed he was feeling a bit ill. Since the sky outside and on the Great Hall’s ceiling were foreboding and low, dark clouds bringing everyone’s moods to the ground, no one questioned him on his behaviour. 

Draco kept sending side glances at Harry, noting his hard-set jaw and the way he seemed to be feverishly enthusiastic about finding the proper book to put Hermione’s letter in. Draco could tell something was bothering Harry, something that wasn’t there the night before, but it wasn’t in his nature to be compassionate and offer advice. Especially not when it concerned Harry, after years of rivalry his first instinct was to enjoy the hurt and discomfort of the brunette, but lately- since they ended up in 1977 things changed. 

For the first time in seven years Draco was not the king of his castle, or rather his house. And it was all because he stood up for his godfather on his first day here. Draco learned all too soon that standing up for Snape has caused him to be tagged as the ‘loser’s friend’ and basically dropped him to the bottom of the Slytherin social ladder. And if there was one thing that Draco hated it was being at the bottom of anything! 

“Here, what about this book?” Draco shrugged out of his thoughts to look at the book Harry was holding. It was an old edition of ‘The tales of Beedle the Bard’, “What? Hermione reads this stuff as a study break.” Harry said defensively at the sight of Draco’s scepticism. Draco looked at the book, who looked rather worn out but still in good shape. He looked at the shelf to make sure there were no other copies of the book and then shrugged. After all Harry knew Hermione a lot more than Draco did, and Draco was quite pleased with that- I’ll have you know. He watched as Harry pulled the letter out of his pocket and deposited it carefully in between the yellowing pages. Before Harry had a chance to retrieve the book to its place a cheerful voice called from behind them,

“Hey, Jaime, where have you been, I’ve been looking all over for you,” Both Harry and Draco jumped up guiltily and spun around to look at Remus, who seemed to have deflated a little at Harry’s blank expression, “We said we’d meet here to go over the Herbology essay…”   
Harry snapped out of this shock when he heard Remus’ voice, all he could hear was his voice telling Fabian to turn and bend over the table and his resolve hardened again. 

“I’m sorry; I’ve found another Herbology partner. This is Alex.” He gestured at Draco and then swapped past both of them, shoving the book in Draco’s hands and practically running out of the library, leaving the two perplexed teens staring after him. It took Remus a couple of seconds to come back to his senses, and he glanced at Draco. Draco on his part, shrugged as if to say he couldn’t care less, especially not now that he had executed his plan. Remus frowned at him and hurried after Harry. 

Harry was pacing fast, fighting hard against the tears that threatened to fill his eyes. He didn’t think that being this close to Remus would be so hard. He felt so weak and stupid, he hated the fact that he couldn’t simply put the memory of Remus with another boy behind him and move on- if he had any strength and a little less heart he’d be looking for his own 'stress reliever' by now, but he couldn’t, he simply couldn’t. He always knew he wasn’t the type to go around and shag at will, hell he only had to look at his parents to know that he was the painfully faithful sort- after all both of them spent nearly seven years dancing around each other having eyes only for one another in a school full of horny teenagers. 

“Jaime, Jay, wait!” Harry stopped on the spot and waited for Remus to catch up with him. He didn’t want to speak with Remus but he knew it was stupid and childish to run away. “Jaime, is everything alright? Why did you run off like that?” Remus panted and stopped to put his hands on his knees to catch his breath. Of course that his wheezing breathing didn’t help Harry one bit, but he said nothing. 

"I told you I have things to do." He intoned flatly, 

"Yeah, studying Herbology in the library with Alex…" Harry crossed his arms and pursed his lips; he didn’t really appreciate being mocked like that. "What's the matter, why are you avoiding me?" 

"I'm avoiding you? Well, that's rich! You haven't spoken a word to me these past couple of weeks that wasn't about schoolwork!" Harry retorted, feeling his patience running thin. How dare Remus accuse him like that? 

"I… It's because…" Harry watched curiously as Remus shifted and practically squirmed on the spot. 

"What do you want from me Remus?" Harry asked tiredly, he had enough of games; he wanted answers, for good or bad so that he could move on with his pathetic life. 

"I just want us to be friends again; I don't understand why you shut me out like this?" Remus pleaded, 

"You don't, don't you… I… You don't need me anymore," Harry shrugged, "Just go back to your 'boyfriend' I'm sure he'd love it if you bend him over the greenhouse worktable!" Harry clamped his mouth shut, eyes widening in horror, oh Merlin, no… Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit SHIT! Remus' face went completely white and his breathing turned a bit shallow with shock, 

"You saw us…" Harry's first instinct was to turn tail and run away, but something kept him firmly in place and he jutted his chin out, 

"Yes, I did!" Remus sighed in defeat and slumped against the wall, much to Harry's surprise. He was ready to try to defend the circumstances that led him to see the two boys, in fact- if Remus pushed the subject further he'd soon find out that Harry had absolutely no reason to be where he was last night. But Remus didn't seem like he was about to scold him or accuse him of anything. He just sat there, knees gathered to his chest and looking like a lost puppy. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for anyone to see this. It was just… some stress relief, nothing more." He mumbled to himself and Harry gulped a little. He sat down carefully next to Remus, mimicking his posture. They sat in silence for a while, each absorbed in his thoughts. 

"I smelled you, that day in the infirmary, after the full moon," Harry glanced at Remus' profile, feeling like a complete idiot, "I knew you wanted me, but I couldn't. I mean… none of the others know what I am," Others, as in plural? Oh, that's just brilliant! "It's never more than just sex, they don't want anything else and I don't want anything else. But you…" Remus turned his head and amber met aquamarine, "You know what I am and you still want me… Why?" 

"Because you're the most amazing person I've ever met, and you being a werewolf means nothing to me. It's not you, it's something that happened to you and it doesn’t define you." Harry said quietly. Remus gave him half a smile and turned his head away, 

"None of my friends ever saw it like that, none of them ever wanted me the way you claim to." He whispered, and Harry let out a small chuckle, 

"That's probably because none of them is gay." Remus gave a nod/shrug and smiled a bit. 

"So, now what?" Harry stretched out his long legs and crossed his hands loosely over his flat stomach, 

"I'm not one of your 'stress relievers', and I don't want to be your fuck-buddy or your toy. I want more." 

"What if I can't give you more?" Harry scrambled to his knees and knelt before Remus, 

"You can start by inviting me to the Hogsmede weekend this Saturday." 

"We're going there anyway, with the rest of the group." Remus stated and Harry closed his eyes in pain, 

"Fine, forget it." He snapped and made to stand up when Remus caught his arm, 

"No, wait, I'm sorry. Jaime, would you like to go to Hogsmede with me this weekend?" Harry pretended to think about it, which made Remus chuckle, 

"I'd love to." He leaned in and gave Remus a soft peck on the lips before jumping to his feet and making his way swiftly out of the hall, surprised by his own daring but smiling wide nonetheless. Remus ran the pads of his fingers on his lips, a small smile gracing his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those of you who wonder- after Harry stormed out Draco spelled the letter to reveal itself only to Hermione and stuck the book on a more remote shelf.


	8. Chapter Eight

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JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Eight: Join the holly Kama Sutra, everyone  
(Title from the musical ‘Hair’)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


The following week was one of the best ones in Harry's life. Now that he forgo the subtle approach and actually got Remus to notice him, things were defiantly looking up. He thoroughly enjoyed the little flirting the two of them were engaged in, even if it didn't mount to anything. It wasn't that Harry was a blushing virgin who was saving his purity for the day Remus would slip a ring on his finger, far from it, and he wasn’t a cruel man either, stringing the poor werewolf along without meaning to deliver. It was just that Harry had a point to prove and he was a stubborn man. He didn't want Remus to see him as just another piece of fine arse to drag to the greenhouses or some deserted class and bend over the tables.

Harry was thrilled when Remus turned down Fabian for another little tumble, and had rewarded his love with a heated snogging session. Harry tried his best to keep Remus happy and satisfied, a job that was made harder by the fact that the full moon was looming closer than ever. It was the middle of November and the full moon was to rise on the 25th, the following Friday. As the days passed Remus became more and more tense and jumpy, and even though Harry did his best to keep the stress levels down a few frictions with Sirius were inevitable.

The Saturday morning of the 19th Harry woke up with a big smile on his face. Today was the 'big day'; today he and Remus were going out on their first official date. Harry had already decided that if Remus was would want to take things to the next level (and the closeness to the full moon pretty much guaranteed Remus would) Harry wasn’t going to stop him. He got dressed, whistling softly to himself and was quite glad that the others had gone to breakfast ahead. It wasn't that he was ashamed that he was gay, the circumstances in which he was outed on the first time didn’t really allow him to be self conscious about it, but he still wasn’t sure what was the costume regarding declarations of gayness in the '70. 

Besides, Remus didn't seem too keen on shouting his sexuality from the roof tops so Harry didn't push the matter. In a lot of ways being here in the seventies was much better than being in his own time, and it was mostly due to the fact that here he was simply Jaime Harrison, a seventh year Gryffindor, not the great Harry Potter, saviour of the magical world. Harry relished his anonymity and took full advantage of it. He sauntered into the Great Hall, still smiling. When he saw the beautiful amber eyes land on him his smile grew wider,

“Morning everyone.” He chirped happily as he sat down and started piling his plate with food, 

“You look happy today, excited about your first Hogsmede trip?” Sirius asked with a chuckle. Harry caught Remus’ eyes briefly and tried not to blush, 

“Yup. After everything you guys told me…” He lied cheerfully. The rest of the morning meal passed with Sirius, James and Peter telling stories of Hogsmede, but Harry was barely listening, his eyes were practically glued to Remus, and the two were shamelessly flirting under their friends noses. Lily watched it all with amusement, it didn’t really surprise her that the two were hitting it on so finely, but she never thought that the rest of the group would be so dense as to not notice that Harry and Remus were practically stripping each other with their eyes. 

After breakfast the group headed to the great doors, where the caretaker, Mr. Kavas was ticking names off his list. The marauders grumbled at having to go through the tedious ordeal each and every time and contemplated whether it’d be quicker to just go back and sneak through one of the secret passageways. When their turn finally arrived the grumpy old caretaker looked simply delighted at the prospect of having the troublesome mischief makers out of the castle for at least a few hours, until his beady little eyes fell on Harry. 

“Who are you?” He grumbled at Harry, 

“Jaime Harrison.” The old caretaker consulted his list for a bit before he emerged back triumphantly,

“You’re not on the list, you can’t go.” Harry’s jaw dropped and he tried to think desperately of a good excuse to get him through when Sirius stepped forward and boomed, 

“He’s a seventh year; you can’t bully him like that! Save your pitiful intimidations techniques to the bloody third years!” Harry was pretty shocked by Sirius’ outburst, he would never, not in a million years, dare to be this audacious when talking to a grownup, even if said grownup was a slimy git. 

“He’s not on my list and unless he can produce a permission slip from his parents or guardians he would not go!” Harry was sorely tempted to turn and ask Lily to write one, but before he could make eye contact with her, the old caretaker grumbled on, “And Mr. Black, I do not like your attitude, I think you need to be reminded how to respect your elders. Detention, tonight, be in my office after dinner!” And with that he turned back to the cue that was forming behind the marauders to carry on his task. Sirius scolded darkly, under his breath this time and the six of them moved to the side of the yard to decide their next course of action.

“Forget the old fool, we’ll slip through the Honeyduke passage, Jay can wear my invisibility cloak and no one would be the wiser.” James whispered conspiratorially and Harry wanted to laugh. This was so much like his first visit to Hogsmede back in his third year. He didn’t want to be hidden; he hated having to sneak around like a criminal just for a bunch of sweets. Besides, the last time he went to Hogsmede hidden he learned of what everyone thought was Sirius’ betrayal of his parents, who knows what ghastly secrets he would uncover this time. But what really tipped the scales for him was the fact that he really didn’t want his first ever official date with Remus to take place when one of them was hidden. 

“No, it’s ok, don’t worry.” He said sadly, the bubbly good feeling he had mere minutes ago vanishing faster than a bottle of fresh butterbeer. “You guys go ahead and have fun, bring me some sweets… I’ll just stay here and catch up with some schoolwork.” He added and raised his hand when James was about to protest. 

“I’ll stay with Jaime.” Harry tried very hard not to let the smug smile creep to his lips at Remus’ words, 

“We’ll all stay.” Sirius intoned with a tone of finality, and Harry nearly groaned with despair, 

“No, there’s no point of all of us staying behind, I’m sure Lily and James are dying to find a corner to snog and you have a detention tonight, you’ll need your strength.” Remus said levelly, executing his quiet power and Sirius caved in. 

“Oh, alright!” 

At that point Lily grabbed Harry arm and dragged him to the side, Harry curiously followed his mother, wondering what pearls of wisdom she had for him now and how embarrassing would it be for him, 

“Jaime, promise me you be careful.” Harry quirked his brow on that, 

“Careful?” 

“You know what I mean, use protection and such. I looked up a really useful spell against diseases and such; it’s a special one for gay couples…” Harry felt his cheeks burn with humiliation and his vision somewhat clouded, this was way worse than he imagined. He’d expect something like that from Hermione but not from his mother… Somewhere deep down he knew that this shouldn’t have surprised him too much, but still, hearing those words coming from Lily’s lips were making him want to crawl under a rock and forget the idea of sex ever existed. 

“I… thanks…” He stammered lamely, looking anywhere but his mother’s eyes, 

“Do you want me to teach it to you?” Harry gaped at her in horror, 

“No! I mean, thanks for looking after me and all, but please, do _not_ teach me the spell.” Lily smiled sweetly and patted Harry’s cheek, 

“No worries son, I’m just practising, I mean, I'll probably have to have this conversation with you again at some point, right?” Harry bit his lip hard and let the pain take over, no Lily, sadly you would never have to have this conversation again… All of a sudden he didn’t really care anymore about embarrassing maternal advices and just grabbed Lily in a tight hug, 

“Thanks.” He chocked out and she patted his back soothingly. When Harry felt he once again had sufficient control over himself so as to not embarrass him further he released Lily, “Just bring me something good from the Honeyduke.” He asked, 

“Sure thing.” She said cheerfully and they turned back to the rest who were waiting impatiently for the two to finish their little moment. Harry and Remus waved goodbye to their friends and the four disappeared in the throng of students that was making their way to Hogsmede. When the others were gone Harry turned to walk back into the castle, suddenly feeling a little nervous. The little chat he had with Lily, combined with the fact that he banked on the Hogsmede day out to flirt Remus to the ground left him a little bereft and quite exposed. 

“So, where to?” Remus asked carefully as they made their way through the halls, 

“To the library of course, I do have some schoolwork to catch up with.” Harry said as cheerfully as he could, sliding back into his comfort zone of flirting. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to make love to Remus, but at the same time he felt a little strange about it. This was a dream come true as far as he was concerned, a fantasy materialized into flesh and blood and he was beyond nervous. 

“Oh.” He glanced sideways at Remus, who looked crestfallen. Harry felt like ten kinds of idiot for making Remus feel like that, but he couldn’t help it. “Right, let’s go.” 

“Wait, you really are going to library?” Harry asked incredulously,

“You said you wanted to catch up with school work, so I guess I’ll help you out. Not much to do in the tower anyway.” Remus said with a sad little smile that didn’t reach his eyes, 

“I’m sorry Remus, I… I don’t mean to string you along or anything and I know that you’re holding yourself back just because I asked you to and that’s not really fair…” 

“No, it isn’t.” Remus cut through Harry’s babbling and wrapped his arms around himself. This past week of nothing but snogging was making him feel a little light-headed with horniness. He had to keep such a tight reign on his feelings and desires he wished that he went with the others to Hogsmede. At least there he would not be so tempted to jump his friends every couple of seconds, but no, he decided to stay with Jaime and now the little cock-tease wanted to go to the bleeding library!

Harry gently prayed the stiff fingers that were curled around Remus’ arm, lacing them together with his own. He brought them to his lips and kissed the pads softly, smiling at the soft intake of breath from Remus,

“Come on.” Fingers still laced he started pulling Remus behind him, leading the way towards the stairs. Together they made their way towards the seventh floor until Harry stopped in front of a blank wall. Remus looked at Harry dubiously, but the latter gave him a little wink and told him to stand back. Remus leaned against the wall and pushed his hands into his pockets and watched as Harry closed his eyes in concentration and started pacing before the blank wall. After three rounds Remus was about to say something when a door started to morph out of the wall. Remus’ jaw dropped and he watched in astonishment as the final details were added to the door. Harry turned to face him with a proud smile, 

“What do you think?” 

"Wow," Remus breathed in awe, never actually seen this room before. He made a little mental note to check if the room appears in the marauders map, "What the hell is this?"

"This is the Room of Requirements." Harry explained proudly, glad that he was able to get one over the marauders. "This room gives you anything you need." 

"And what do we need?" Remus asked cautiously, not wanting to do or say anything that would cause Harry to change his mind, 

"You'll see." Harry said with a cheerful wriggle of his eyebrows, before he laid his hand on the door knob and slowly pushed it open. He first peered around it to make sure the room understood his requirement fully (not that he thought that the room would have a problem with- 'A place to make love to Remus'…), and then threw the door wide open with an inviting smile. Remus could feel Harry's excitement and smiled softly as he walked into the room. His smile turned into a satisfied smirk when he saw the giant bed dominating the room. Perfect. 

Once the door closed behind the two Remus turned and pushed Harry gently against the door, his instincts were screaming for him to take and claim but he knew all too well that if he tried to Harry would probably hex him and leave him there. So he cupped Harry's cheek in his hand and brought their faces close together into a gentle kiss. Harry could almost hear the roaring blood in Remus' veins and tried to deepen the kiss but Remus wouldn't let him, 

"Wait, Jaime." Harry stared confused at the slightly panting form of his very-soon-to-be-lover, "Its three days to the full moon and my grip on the wolf is weakening and right now what it wants is to feel. What I want is you, to have rough and ragged sex with… I guess what I'm trying to say is that… I need to know that you aren’t going to bolt in the middle or something…" Harry bit his lip and tried to calm the feeling of guilt that was washing over him, this was hardly fair on Remus and for the first time Harry got to really appreciate just how much Remus was holding himself back, 

"I'm not going to run away, I swear. In fact, I'll tell you what- I'm going to relinquish all control to you from this second on. You can do whatever you want to me." He chirped cheerfully but his eyes widened slightly at the feral gleam that took over Remus' eyes before it settled on a confused and slightly disappointed look, 

"Ah, well, you see that might be a problem…" Harry bit his lip and tried to decide whether Remus was having him on or was there a real problem, 

"Really?" He asked in a small voice and Remus gave him a bright smile in return, 

"Yes, you see there are so many things I want to do to you; I don't know where to start." Harry shivered under that smouldering stare, feeling himself getting more and more excited at each second passing by. Remus ran his hands slowly down Harry’s front and then reluctantly he dropped his gaze from the pools of aquamarine to see what Harry was wearing, “Jaime, why are you in your school uniform?” Harry felt a little warm in the face at the amused expression on Remus’ face, 

“I… I don’t have a lot of casual clothes…” He stammered, 

“And the tie?” 

“I was going to put on my robes when I remembered I don’t have to, but the tie was already on and I sort of… forgot about it…” Harry explained sheepishly. Remus took the tie in his hand and ran the length of it through his fingers, a wicked smile spreading on his face, 

“I decided what I want. You, naked, on the bed. Leave the tie on.” With a little wink he tossed the tie back in Harry’s face and went to perch himself comfortably on the bed, awaiting Harry’s striptease. 

Harry licked his lips nervously, he was never requested to give a striptease to any of his former lovers, and that felt a little strange but he decided to take it all in stride and give Remus the best show he could. 

He started off with loosening his tie a little so he could lift the collar of his shirt and slip it under the tie. Harry gave Remus a little sultry smile and started to work on his shirt buttons while walking towards the bed. He reached half way down his shirt and stopped to tow off his shoes. 

Now that was the easy part, and then came the socks… Harry had to hop on the spot in a rather undignified manner to get those off, but he considered himself rather lucky that he didn’t fall flat on his arse. Plus, one look at Remus confirmed that the werewolf didn’t seem to mind one bit that his partner was a klutz. When the socks were finally off he continued his walk to the bed, still unbuttoning the shirt. Once it was loose he slid it gently from his shoulders, rotating them backwards to allow the fabric to fall.

He licked his lips hungrily when he saw that Remus spelled his clothes away, leaning against the headboard and slowly rubbing his hard cock. Seeing Remus naked first gave Harry the bust of confidence he needed in order to shed the last of his garments. When he kicked the trousers and pants behind, the last in a long trail of clothes that led to the door, Remus gave a feral smile and nodded his appreciation. Harry climbed the bed without breaking eye contact and crawled to straddle Remus. 

"Now what?" He asked huskily, his pelvis grinding with Remus' eagerly until Remus' hands stopped his frotting much to Harry's dismay. Remus smiled and loosed the tie on Harry’s neck further, until he was able to slip it over the impossibly dark hair. 

“Bring your hands together.” He ordered roughly and Harry obeyed immediately, thoroughly exited by the idea of playing kinky bondage games with Remus. Past experience taught Harry that he should never give too much power to his partner, lest it will come back and bit him in the arse, but with Remus he felt safe, knowing that he had as much power over the werewolf as Remus had over him. Besides, here he wasn’t Harry Potter, Saviour of the Wizarding World, Golden Boy, Boy Who Lived or any such rot that the press decided to spring on him, here he was simply Jaime- nothing more nothing less. And what Jamie wanted right now, was for Remus to hurry up and shag him through the mattress. 

Once the wrists were presented to Remus he slipped the noose of the necktie over them and pulled the knot to force them together. He met Harry’s eyes above the red and gold stripes and smiled at the lust he saw in them. Quickly and smoothly Remus flipped them over and trapped Harry under his own body, lifting the bound wrists and pinned them to the headboard with a simple sticking charm. Harry writhed and wriggled to make himself more comfortable, and also to test his bonds, which proved to be tight enough so he won’t be able to move but not as tight as to cut off his circulation. 

Remus took his time, looking at his new lover, memorising every tantalizing line and curve, feeling his mouth flooding with saliva. He wasn’t lying when he told Harry that he didn’t know what he wanted most. The body sprawled under him was so beautiful, near perfect even and those eyes held so much promise that it left Remus almost breathless. Remus ran his hands softly down Harry’s sides, feeling the skin shivering under his touch. He leaned forward and placed little open-mouthed kisses and nips on parts of Harry that Remus found most inviting. 

Harry decided that he must have died and gone to heaven because this was such a pure and delicious torture and he loved every second of it. Of course he would have preferred that Remus would go lower and touch his cock which was just begging for attention but since his hands were tied there was little he could do. Remus was in no hurry, knowing full well that his lover wasn’t going anywhere. 

He started his journey on Harry’s collarbone, then slowly made his way down to his chest. After paying his due admiration to Harry’s nipples he ran his tongue on the planes of the taught muscles of his abdomen. Remus could taste the sweat on Harry’s skin, salty and seductive and underneath the unique taste of his lover’s skin. Then Remus reached the glittering prize attached to Harry’s naval, catching the golden hoop in his teeth and pulling ever so softly, making Harry’s back arch off the bed. Harry was mightily glad that Dumbledore’s glamour took care of his piercing as well as his face, because he knew it would have been near impossible to explain why he had tiny figures of a stag, a lily, a dog and a wolf attached to the main bellybutton ring. 

Remus' lips were brushing over the line of hair that led from Harry’s naval to his cock, and Harry’s breathing quickened with the prospect of some action, but again Remus was denying him. He looked up with a mischievous smile that made Harry want to kick him and blew cold air over the heated head of Harry’s prick, causing the bound teen to gasp out loud. 

“You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Remus murmured, he was enjoying himself more than he ever thought possible, this ability to take everything slowly and relish the feel of soft skin under his mouth, was something he didn’t get to do often. Well, never actually if he was being totally honest with himself. All his sexual encounters so far consisted of hurried fucks in inappropriate surroundings. But Jaime offered so much more, that even the closeness to the full moon and the beast raging inside him couldn’t overcome. If it was up to him he would have continued this pleasurable torture for hours to come but the impatience was practically radiating off of Harry and besides, his own cock was sending very clear messages as to what it wanted, so Remus lifted his head to ask Harry if he brought any lubricant when he spotted the little jar standing on the nightstand almost innocently, “Where the fuck did that come from?” 

“Room of Requirements, told you. Now get a move on!” Harry breathed out almost angrily. All his systems were in an overload and he knew that if Remus didn’t do something soon he’d explode with sheer frustration. 

Remus reached for the little pot and opened it, smiling at the smell of exotic fruits that was wafting from it- well, that was certainly a nice touch he hadn’t consciously thought of. He made a short work preparing his withering lover, knowing that he was mere seconds away from being denied another such experience forever,

“That’s enough, Remus, I’m ready…” Harry moaned and pulled tight against his restraints, cursing who ever made the school ties so durable. Remus pulled his fingers out of his lover’s arse and slicked his own weeping erection, before lining it with the quivering hole. With one slow and calculated move he sank into the blissful heat and tightness. Both lovers moaned in unison at the sensation and stilled for a moment, getting used to one another. Remus waited until he felt the muscles relaxing around his cock before he started to move in a leisurely pace. 

“Oh Merlin, oh Gods, oh _Remus_!” Harry yelled and bucked hard against the intrusion. Remus grabbed the wand that was still lying on the bed and flicked it at Harry’s wrists, terminating the charm that kept them stuck to the headboard and bent over to kiss his lover. 

As soon as his hands were free from the headboard Harry wrapped them around Remus’ neck, effectively trapping them together. When Remus rose again Harry went with him. They continued to kiss urgently, torsos pressed together while Harry fucked himself thoroughly on Remus’ cock. Their moans mingled together and filled the dark room, their lips working feverishly together and the intense heat and friction between their bodies was making them losing all touch with reality. 

“Touch me, please, Rem, touch me…” Harry pleaded softly in between moans and Remus brought his hand down to cup Harry’s straining cock, stroking it with a little effort caused by the uncomfortable angle he had to work in but Harry was far from complaining. 

Harry was the first to come, the constant stimulation of both his cock and his prostate caused stars to explode in his peripheral vision and he let go with a mighty bellow- his head tossed back and all restrain gone. Remus swore he could have come just from the look on Harry’s face, but the fact that those velvet muscles clamped tight around him was probably more of an incentive for him to spill his seed deep inside his lover. 

The two of them collapsed on the bed, still joined by Harry’s arms and Remus’ cock, breathing deep and flush with exertion. Remus slowly brought his hand back and lifted Harry’s numb arms, loosening the necktie’s noose and freeing his lover’s hands. He then pulled out of Harry slowly, causing the latter to wince and groan at the loss. 

Remus wrapped him tight in his arms, relishing the feel of his sated lover, so pliant and supple in his arms. This was another thing Remus never had the chance to explore up close, cuddling with his shag-partner. He carefully took one of Harry’s wrists in his hand and examined the burn marks left there by the necktie, flinching inwardly at the angry red welts that decorated Harry’s wrist. Harry hissed softly when Remus ran his finger over them and the werewolf recoiled hastily, 

“I’m so sorry, I…” He stopped his speech of a moment and screwed his eyes in concentration before gazing behind him. To his utter joy he found a new pot standing on the nightstand. He turned and grabbed it, unscrewing the top and plunged his fingers into the viscous balm before applying the healing salve carefully on Harry’s abused wrists. Harry watched the long delicate fingers work on his sore skin and smiled to himself. Well, if he wasn’t sure he loved Remus before he knew for certain now that he had found the only man for him. 

When Remus finished applying the salve, he lowered Harry's hands and wrapped him in a tight embrace bringing him closer for a proper snuggle. Harry let his head rest comfortably on Remus' chest, one arm thrown over his abdomen and one leg over Remus' own. He closed his eyes and felt the sweet and slow lull of sleep washing over him.


	9. Chapter Nine

** JADED **

..oo00oo..

Chapter Nine: He said _what_?!

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


Harry was angry, furiously angry and worried sick. It was Friday night but instead of chilling out with his mates in the common room drinking butterbeer and playing cards he was pacing the length of the dorm room like a caged animal, furiously angry and worried sick- and all that because of three little words.

It all started that very same afternoon. Harry and Remus skipped dinner in favour of the Room of Requirements. Remus, who was never a big eater often missed meals in the days prior to the full moon and Harry claimed he was off for a walk around the lake. 

Their coupling that afternoon was frantic, both boys were feeling the effects of the nearing moon, in fact Harry could have sworn that he could see the wolf behind Remus' golden eyes. He reached back to grab hold of the headboard and tightened his legs around Remus' waist, riding the hard and heavy thrusts as best as he could. 

When Remus collapsed on top of him, Harry cradled his head close, feeling the erratic heartbeat pulsing against his stomach. Their bodies glistened with sweat, chests heaving trying to regain normality of breathing after descending from the heights of sex. Harry felt peaceful, serene even. He placed a soft kiss on the crown of Remus' head, and the latter lifted his heavy head and smiled at his lover. 

They kissed leisurely for a while; now that the mad rush for orgasm was over they could enjoy a couple of quiet minutes before Remus would have to go to the infirmary to be escorted for his transformation. Harry knew it would be a long, sleepless night for him- he just hoped that Lily would be there with him.

“Will you come to visit me tomorrow morning?” Remus asked while his fingers were tracing over and around Harry’s naval piercing. It was amazing how attached Remus had become to the little golden hoop in such a short time. 

“Would you like me to?” 

“Yes, but only if you bring a bacon sandwich with you.” Harry chuckled and continued to run his fingers through the tawny hair. He wished they could stay like this forever, or at the very least until tomorrow. He didn’t want to let go and send Remus to the cold and dirty shack to be transformed all alone, but he didn’t have a choice. 

“Of course.” He sighed. Life really wasn’t fair if all he could offer his love was a bacon sandwich. 

"I guess we should get a move on." Remus muttered but burrowed deeper into Harry's arms all the same. Harry tightened his hold around the supple body and refused to let go, 

“Just a couple more minutes…” He pleaded and Remus didn’t have the strength or the will to deny him. And so the lay there together both listening to the other breathing and trying to delay the moment of departure as much as they possibly could. 

Harry looked down at the head on his chest, and his heart swelled with the love he felt for the other teen. For so long he yearned for that man and finally Remus was his, even if it was a younger, less… complete version of him. During his short time in 1977 Harry realised that Remus hasn’t really changed during the years, all of the elements in his personality that Harry loved so much were already there, only less defined and also there was a distinct lack of burden. Just like the young Sirius was still carefree and happy so was Remus- before he was forced to deal with his friends’ death and imprisonment. Harry bent his head and planted another soft kiss on Remus’ head, murmuring to himself, 

“I love you.” 

Remus froze when he heard those words. His insides were squirming with an array of emotions and none of them was even close to the one Harry just expressed. Remus rose from his position and stared at Harry incredulously,

“What did you say?” Harry blinked in confusion, not following with his partner’s abrupt change of pace. 

“Remus, what’s wrong?” Harry knew full well what ticked Remus off (because it was clearly not bacon sandwiches!) but he refused to back from his statement, and he also refused to give Remus the satisfaction of seeing how much his harsh attitude hurt Harry. 

“No, no, nonononononononono NO WAY!” Remus jumped off the bed and started to gather his clothes that were tossed all over the floor, murmuring to himself and shaking his head, “Love is _not_ part of the deal; _this_ is about sex, about having fun!” He cried at Harry accusingly and Harry sat up in the bed and gaped at Remus in shock. When Remus finished putting on his trousers he practically fled the room leaving the perplexed and wounded Harry behind. 

Harry breathed hard, trying to fight back tears. It was true that he and Remus never talked about love before, never made each other promises, but still there was no call for this kind of behaviour! He sank back to the bed and rolled over to burry his face in the pillow, biting it hard to keep hold of his pain. 

And now he was in his room, the moon was about to rise any moment now, and Harry was angry. He was angry that Remus treated his declaration of love so callously, for leaving without letting Harry explain but most of all he was angry at himself. Remus never made him any promise, in fact, he even tried to dodge any responsibility for something that was more than sex, but Harry, being the smitten sod that he was simply overruled this and decided that the fact that Remus was rejecting offers from former tricks meant that he wanted to be solely with Harry. He was a fool, and now he may have very well lost Remus. 

When the rest of the marauders came into the room to prepare themselves for the night Harry glared at them all, wanting nothing more than to go out there and beat some sense into his stubborn lover’s head. For a mad second he hated the marauders, for their uncomplicated lives that consisted mostly of running about in the bloody forest, no worries whatsoever, while he was forced to stay behind and deal with all this. Sirius made the mistake of trying to joke with Harry and found that when the mood took over, Harry was just as bad as Lily when she was upset. As soon as the rest left Harry made his way to the common room and sank into one of the sofas, bringing his knees close to his chest and pressing his forehead to them, feeling utterly miserable. 

“Hey there, fancy meeting you here on this night of all nights.” Harry suppressed a groan at the sound of his mother’s cheery voice. A part of him was glad that Lily was there but most of him just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately, Lily wasn’t one to take subtle hints when she didn’t felt like it and she sank into the sofa next to him. Harry raised his head wearily, 

“What do you want?” He growled and Lily gave him a hard stare, 

“This is no way to talk to your mother, young man.” She scolded him mockingly and Harry buried his head in his arms once more. Lily placed a warm hand on his elbow, “What’s wrong, Jaime, talk to me, please. Is it Remus?” Harry rolled his eyes, though Lily could not see his face, it was just amazing how his mother could hit the mark each and every time! “Come on; tell me what’s going on with the cutest couple in Hogwarts…” She coaxed Harry, 

“We’re not cute!” Harry protested loudly and Lily grinned shamelessly at him, “And we’re not a couple.” 

“What? Why? You looked just fine the other day, completely in love with each other, practically undressing each other in the Great Hall…” She trailed uneasily when she saw the shine of tears take over Harry’s eyes. She bit her lip and waited for Harry to come up with an explanation since everything she said so far only seemed to aggravate the poor boy further. 

“He doesn’t love me; he just wants me for sex.” Harry said tightly, refusing to let himself break even if it was in front of his mother. Lily looked at him, and did the only thing she could think of- she pulled the distress teen into her arms and hugged him tight. Harry let her envelope him with compassion and love, feeling the tears retreating instead of flowing as he feared. Never one to react well to affection he nonetheless sought it with every turn, trying make up for a loveless childhood. Without ever meaning to Harry found himself telling Lily all about the ‘I-love-you’ fiasco. 

“What?! That bloody sod! I’m going to kill him! No, I’m going to hex his balls into oblivion!” She cried out, smacking her fist in her other hand, Harry watched fascinated, and as much as he loved the fact that Lily would hurt Remus on his behalf there was still something that stopped him from letting her loose on him, 

“Please don’t, I kinda like his balls.” He said with a small voice which made Lily stare at him for a full moment before she cracked and covered her mouth trying to hold the waves of laughter. One look at his mother’s sparkling eyes and Harry lost it as well. Together they fell to the sofa, rolling and laughing like mad. It felt good to be able to laugh, even if he didn’t solve anything. When they finally calmed down they settled comfortably on the sofa again, 

“You really love him, don’t you?” Harry nodded, 

“I’m not good with casual affairs. I need stability.” He muttered. Lily gave him a long look, shaking her head sadly, 

“It’s our fault, isn’t it?” Harry lifted his eyebrows questioningly, “James and mine. I mean look at us, sniffing around each other’s butts like bloody puppies since we were eleven. What hope is there for you? I’m amazed that you didn’t find your “True Love”,” She said with a roll of her eyes and air quotes, “When you were twelve!” Harry bit his lip and tried to hide a smile. As a matter of fact he had found his “True Love” at the age of thirteen only he didn’t know that at the time and there was this little matter of twenty years age gap and best friends with dead parents issue, not to mention Remus’ biggest objection (or at least what Harry thought would be Remus’ biggest objection) the whole student-teacher thing.   
Lily watched the way Harry’s face softened when she spoke of true love and suddenly it dawned on her, 

“Merlin in stilettos and a garter,” She breathed, borrowing one of Sirius’ favourite phrases, “Tell me I did not raise you to fancy older men!” Harry gave her a curious, slightly frightened side glance, “You fancied Remus before you came here!” She cried and punched Harry’s arm, and he cringed, gods be damned this woman would have made Sherlock Holms cream his pants! 

“Ouch! Lily, stop hitting me!” He cried and scooted to the other side of the sofa, away from his mother’s fists of steel. “So what if I fancy him? He’s dead gorgeous! Besides, you said you’d be happy for me no matter what!” 

“Yes, but that was before I knew you’re in love with a dysfunctional werewolf twenty years your senior!” Lily cried back, and Harry once again crawled into a ball of misery, his usual reaction when faced with confrontation. 

“I can’t help it,” He whispered, “I’ve always loved him.” Lily sighed and scooted closer to her son, wrapping her arms around him, 

“I know, I’m just… I don’t know, I guess I’m still confused with the whole ‘I have a son who’s my age and I’m still a virgin’ thing.” At that Harry groaned and clamped his hands over his ears, of for the love of Merlin, he did not need to know his mother’s sexual state! Lily smiled, rather smugly, things were back to the way they should, from some reason taunting Jaime was much more fun than taunting anyone else. 

“Jaime, Jaime, relax, I’m not going to give you the sex talk, at least not tonight.” She said cheerfully, “Besides, I bet _you_ could give _me_ a few tips, right?” She nudged his side and Harry groaned again, feverishly wishing the sofa would eat him up. “One thing though, please, please, please tell me I had a bit more imagination than to name you Jaime!” Harry chuckled and lifted his head, names, that was cool, safe… 

“No, you didn’t name me Jaime.” He assured her and Lily smiled in relief. 

“Good, because that would have been daft of me. So… what did I name you?” Harry gave her a smile and shook his head, and Lily frowned, “Oh, well, it was a long-shot…” She shrugged and then tossed her hair behind her shoulder looking at Harry more intently, “Hmm, you look like a Thomas, are you a Thomas?” 

Harry chuckled again, warming up into the game, “Nope, not Thomas.” Lily tapped her finger on her chin, and Harry just knew it was going to be horrible, 

“How about Jeffrey, I always liked that name, it’s very British, Jeffrey.” She nearly chanted the name and Harry pulled a face, thank gods he wasn’t named Jeffrey… “Hmm, not Jeffrey than… How about… Stuart? Justin? Nathan… Nathan is a good name… Brian?” Harry kept pulling faces at each name, not that he really minded to be named Brian or Nathan, but he knew Lily was having loads of fun and he was quite reluctant to stop her. Some corner of his brain kept whispering to him that he should seize every opportunity to bond with his parents because thanks to snake-face-sodding-bastard he would never get another chance for that. Besides, as long as Lily was stuck on names there was less chance she’d ask him embarrassing questions about his relationship with Remus…

“Isidore!” 

“WHAT?” 

“Yes!” Lily cried triumphantly, her green eyes sparkling at the horror-struck face of Harry, “Yes, Isidore! It’s a brilliant name! Isidore Potter, I can see it already…” She added dreamily and Harry nearly gagged, 

“I’d be bitten into a bloody pulp the second I enter kinder garden!” 

“Oh, shush, don’t be such a drama queen!” Lily waived her hand dismissively and Harry slumped back against the sofa, “I’m going to have to tell James…” 

“He’s going to run to another country the minute you tell him you want to name your baby Isidore.” Harry snarled, even though he knew that his name would not be Isidore it was still scary to think that his mother could actually come up with such atrocity. 

“Oh, you think your father is better?” Lily said with a wounded tone, “He named his pet kneazle _Pooky_!” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Harry demanded, 

“You should have seen that beast, there was nothing ‘Pooky’ about it! It’s the meanest, ugliest most vile kneazle you ever lay your eyes on. All ginger fur and bendy legs! The thing looked like he ran into a brick wall! You know what I mean?” Harry smiled when the image of Hermione’s cat, Crookshanks flashed in his mind, 

“I think I may have met one of his descendants.” He said rather gravely and Lily smiled. 

“So, Isidore…” Before she could utter another word Harry jumped her and pressed his hand against her mouth. Lily’s face went red almost instantly from laughter and Harry had to bite his lip so he would not join her, which would inevitably encourage her. After a short scuffle both of them found themselves on the plush carpet. 

“We should get some sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow, all this brooding and ignoring…” Lily said as she reached to help Harry to his feet. 

“I really hate fighting with him, and over such a stupid thing no less.” Lily grabbed his forearms and looked deep into his eyes, 

“Don’t you go easy on him, you hear me? You did nothing wrong! If anyone should brood and feel bad it’s Remus not you!” Harry nodded tightly, recognizing the fire in his mother’s eyes, the one that would harm Remus, and leave him balls-less. He sat on the sofa and pulled Lily to him, both snuggling to find a comfortable position and catch a few hours sleep before the rest of the marauders come to wake them. 

( **A/N:** Do you think there’s “Queer as Folk” in heaven? There would be in mine…)

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Remus kept his eyes shot for as long as he could, not wanting to face the world. This was by far the worst moon he ever experienced since he was bitten. The memory of Jaime’s face when he fled the room haunted him with every turn and he couldn’t shake it off, not in his human form and not in his wolf form. He acted like a complete fool, oh what a coward he had been. He should have stayed and listen, instead he ran.

Remus realized he made the biggest mistake ever, hurting the one person that wanted him despite of everything, the one person that cared enough about him, hell even loved him. If he was truly honest with himself Remus knew that what Jaime had to offer was exactly what he needed and wanted all his life- but years of hiding his nature and denying himself his deepest wants had left him thoroughly unprepared to face the music when Jaime said ‘I love you’. 

And now Jaime was mad, and with a very good reason to be mad and Remus knew it was over, he completely and utterly blew it and there was nothing for it. The fact that he couldn’t feel and smell the presence of his lover anywhere near, even though Jaime promised to drop by only confirmed his fear. Remus slowly opened his eyes, which were stinging with unshed tears and looked about him. His bed looked just as white and sterile as it always did, the chair next to it still positioned facing forward and untouched. Only last month Jaime was sitting there, looking lost and confused, staring at his hands on the sheets. But there was no one there today, just like there wasn’t anyone there before Jaime turned up. His gaze swept to the little table next to his bed and his breath caught in his chest- there on a white paper napkin sat almost innocently a bacon sandwich. 

Remus felt the tears sliding down his face, both with sorrow and gratitude. So Jaime did stop by and brought him a sandwich, just like he had promised, even after the way Remus treated him last night. Remus knew exactly what the gesture meant- he had one last chance to prove himself and he had better not fuck it up because he was not going to get another. 

“I will not screw this, Jaime, I promise.” He whispered softly to the sandwich.


	10. Chapter Ten

** JADED **

..oo00oo..

Chapter Ten: Friends will be friends (or will they…)  
(Title by ‘Queen’- most of it anyway…)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


Remus walked into the library with an air of a desperate man. It’s been a long afternoon, which he spent wondering around the castle in search of his lover. As soon as Madame Pomfrey finally let him out of the infirmary (which was actually closer to dinner time than lunch) he was on the move. His muscles protested hugely for the over activeness so shortly after the full moon but his mind would not relent. He had to find Jaime and apologize, he’d even beg if that’s what it would take, he’ll do anything to get the other boy to forgive him and if he’s lucky, have him back.

But Jaime wasn’t in the common room when he went there, and none of the others knew where he went so Remus started looking for him in all the likely and unlikely places he could think of. After the Quidditch pitch and the lake, came several unused classrooms and even the Room of Requirements, but they all proved empty. And now the library. 

Remus looked around him for signs of Jaime and his heart did a little summersault when he finally spotted the dark haired boy. Remus took a moment to study him without Jaime knowing, and felt his heart clench with pain at the happy and carefree expression on Jaime’s face. He was talking to the new Slytherin boy, what was his name again… Alex, and apparently they were getting along just fine. Remus tried to quench the bitterness that was clawing in his chest, dimly recognising the feeling as jealousy. How can Jaime say he loved Remus one day and be all chummy and flirty with Alex the next? Remus bit his lip to stop the wolf from getting the better of him, the first day after transformation was always a very emotional one. The reason Madame Pomfrey kept him in the infirmary for as long as she could was not because she felt he was weak, but because she wanted him to spend as much time as possible in a sterile environment so that his feelings would calm down and not be as volatile. 

When he saw Jaime sitting there with the tawny haired boy the only word that Remus’ confused brain could come up with was ‘Replacement’ and that did nothing to calm the wolf. He watched the two like a hawk, getting more and more frustrated by the second. When Draco finally got up to get a book Remus saw his opportunity. He approached the table as calmly as he could, Jaime’s head was bent over a parchment writing something with a little smile spread on his face, 

“Studying for Herbology?” Remus grunted out, Harry lifted his head in surprise, his expression hardening as soon as he saw who he was talking to, 

“No, this is actually a project for DADA, entitled ‘Why are werewolves such pricks’!” He hissed at Remus. The evident anger caused Remus to deflate once more, remembering that Harry had every right to be angry and it was Remus’ duty to explain himself. 

“Can we talk, please?” 

“Oh I think you made yourself perfectly clear last night!” Harry’s head was bent over the parchment again to indicate the conversation was over when a small dainty cough was heard, and he snapped his head up, “WHAT?” 

The entire posture of Madame Pince, the librarian seemed to swell up with anger, her face reddening and she pointed a shaky finger at the door, yelling in a shrill voice, 

“OUT!!!” 

Harry grunted and shoved his things into his bag before he hoist it over his shoulder and stomped out of the library without a glance back. It took Remus a couple of seconds to catch up with the abrupt departure before he turned around and ran to catch up with Harry. 

“Jaime, wait, please…” He panted as he forced his tired muscles into action, trying to catch up with his surprisingly fast lover. Harry sighed and stopped, as much as he didn’t want to talk to Remus he preferred to have it over and done with as soon as possible so he would not have to go through another night like the one he had. 

“What do you want?” He snapped and turned, causing Remus to nearly walk into him, “Do you want me to take it back? Because it’s not going to happen so you have two choices- either you suck it up and deal with it or you go back to your bloody tricks and leave me the hell alone!” He yelled and turned to leave when Remus caught his arm, 

“Jaime, look, you have to understand, it wasn’t… last night, I wasn’t really myself, and I’m…” He pleaded desperately but Harry cut through his bumbling, 

“Not everything is about the wolf, Remus!” He said lowly and wrenched his arm free, 

“Yes, it is! Don’t you get it? Everything I am, everything that I do is about the wolf, I can’t escape it!” Remus objected loudly and Harry sighed, he was not going to win this argument.

“Then what do you want from me? I’m not going to have you in my bed one day only to know that you would be shagging…. Fabian Prewitt the next!” He shouted and turned to continue his way down the hall towards the painting of the fat lady. After muttering the password he made his way upstairs to their dorm room, knowing that Remus would follow. 

Only when the door closed behind Remus’ back did Harry turned to face him, in the short walk to here he had made up his mind about things and as much pain as it was costing him, he had to have his answer now. 

“I’m going to respect any decision you make,” He said quietly, “I’m not going to make any embarrassing scenes or chase you if you decide to leave, but I want you to… I’m asking you to choose, because I don’t want to continue this if you’re going to ignore my feelings. And they are not going to change- even if you can’t love yourself I can love you and I do.” He looked Remus square in the eye and tried to smile, “Just say that you don’t want me and I’ll be out of your way.” He whispered, 

Remus looked at the boy in front of him, this was insane, everything he’s ever dreamed of, what he wanted most- all these yearning feelings he kept under lock and key all these years were finally returned, and he was mere inches from losing it all because of his own stupidity.   
“I can’t,” He shook his head, “I can say something like that. Because it’s not true.” Harry bit his lip to keep the sobs in, and walked towards Remus. He pushed Remus against the post of his bed and kissed him. 

True, this wasn’t the optimal answer he was hoping for but it was a big step towards it and at the moment it was enough for him. Neither boy heard the door opening but a moment later Harry was yanked back forcibly and his shoulder cracked painfully against the post of the nearest bed. He clasped his aching shoulder and gaped in shock at James who had his wand trained on Remus’ throat, 

“Stay away from him Moony, I’m warning you.” James tossed half a glance behind him, to see if Harry was alright, “Sorry, Jay, he tends to be a little volatile right after the full moon, I’m sure he didn’t mean to strangle you.” Harry rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the bedpost, 

“He wasn’t strangling me you crazy idiot!” He yelled at his father, who looked shocked and deeply hurt that his heroic save somehow turned around to bit him in the arse. “He was kissing me!” 

James dropped his wand in astonishment, his gaze flickering between Harry and Remus, kissing? Remus rubbed his sore throat where James’ wand dug in his skin and said gruffly, 

“Yes, kissing, bloody hell Prongs, can’t a bloke kiss his boyfriend without you coming in and threatening to slit his throat?” Harry blinked several times at Remus’ words, a warm feeling spreading through him, 

“Do you really mean it?” He said softly, ignoring James’ still shell-shocked face and approaching Remus, who smiled and shrugged, 

“Yes, I do. But you’re going to have to help me, I have no idea what I’m doing.” Harry let out a small relieved giggle and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck. Remus pulled his closer against him and crushed their lips together. 

James, forgotten and ignored looked at the snogging couple before him and smiled,   
“Well, don’t mind me…” He said with his arms crossed and his wand tapping against his upper arm, but got no answer, “Oh for the love of Merlin, get a room!” He snapped, Remus’ mouth left Harry’s lips as he watched the irritated James, 

“This _is_ our room.” He breathed and returned to his boyfriend’s lips, both forgetting all about James once more, 

“Oh, right.” The teen stag said uneasily, it was lovely that Moony had finally found himself a decent bloke and all that and they were obviously passionate about each other, but oh, good gods that was not right! He shouldn’t be seeing things like these… “Hmm, I’ll be… Oh mother of Zeus!” He cried when he saw the shirt falling from Harry’s shoulders and Remus’ hand slipping under the waistband of his trousers to cup his arse. James quickly turned to his heel and left the room before he was forced to witness first hand the mating rituals of gay people.

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

The morning light came streaming through the curtains around the bed and Remus tried to block them by borrowing his face deeper into the nape of his lover. A slow smile spread on his sleeping face and he tightened his hold on the body in front of him. As far as he was concerned nothing bad could happen today.

A loud coughing sound was heard above him but he still refused to acknowledge the presence next to his bed. He felt his lover stirring in his arms coming to slowly, and sighed, there was nothing for it, he thought and opened his groggy eyes looking up. Standing in a row in front of his bed were James, Sirius and Peter arms crossed and expressions grim. He nudged Harry softly, but the raven haired boy simply turned and burrowed deeper into Remus’ arms. Remus allowed a little smile to grace his face at the gesture but shook Harry again, 

“What?” Harry said sleepily, rubbing his eyes with his fist like a child, Remus gestured towards the boys and Harry turned his head. When his sleep-addled brain register who was standing there he squeaked in fear and pulled the blankets over his and Remus’ heads, “What are they doing here?” He whispered to Remus, who was having a difficult time suppressing his laughter, 

“It’s their room too, you know.” Harry buried his face in the pillow and Remus could hear the muffled curses. 

“You two have five minutes to get yourselves ready. We are waiting in the common room.” Sirius’ voice was heard, hard and commanding and Remus peeked above the edge of the blanket and nodded slowly. He watched the three make their way to the door, backs straight and heads held high in a righteous manner. He rolled his eyes, brilliant! 

“I’m sorry…” Harry mumbled and Remus returned to his hiding boyfriend under the blankets, 

“Sorry, what ever for?” 

“For not going to back to my bed last night… now they all know…” Remus brushed the stray locks away from Harry’s eyes, before he leaned in and kissed the unblemished forehead, 

“You do remember that we practically shagged in front of James, don’t you? I mean, I know that he left at some point but I’m not quite sure which…” Remus said cheerfully and laughed when Harry groaned and placed the pillow over his head, 

“Oh, crap!” Remus nuzzled Harry’s arm and the latter pulled his head from under the pillow, giving Remus a sheepish smile. “Can we just pretend they weren’t here and then slip past them on our way out of the tower?” For a full three seconds Remus was sorely tempted to accept the offer and run, but eventually his better judgment took over and he shook his head sadly, 

“It’s an interesting idea… But we can’t,” Harry sighed and pouted, not that he doubted that they would have to face the rest but he was hoping that they could run off, just for a bit. At least until the mortification of the fact that his own father caught him and Remus rubbing against each other like bloody horny rabbits will wear off… “Besides, they already know I’m gay, so they’re not going to give us a hard time.” Remus added confidently and Harry nodded from a lack of better protest. He rose to his knees, pulling the blankets down from his head and looked around the room for his clothes. 

When the two of them made their way downstairs they found the common room deserted save for their friends. It was actually rather early on a Sunday morning so most of the other students were either in their beds or in the Great Hall having breakfast. The three marauders and Lily were sitting on a large sofa near the fireplace waiting for the pair to arrive. 

Remus sighed in registration and sat on the big armchair across from the sofa, pulling Harry to his lap. After a short scuffle they both settled comfortably, squashed together on the big armchair. Harry kept his eyes lowered, not daring to catch anyone’s eye, feeling his face turning redder by the second. Sirius got to his feet and started pacing in front of the hearth. 

“Well, don’t you two think we deserve an explanation?” He finally barked at them, and Harry backed a little opening his mouth several times but Remus beat him to it, 

“No, I don’t think you do,” He answered calmly, “But as you’re so eager for one, I’ll just say that we are together and you have two choices, either suck it up and deal with it, or… suck it up and deal with it.” Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head in amusement, when he heard his own words hurled at someone else. He caught Lily’s eye and she gave him the thumbs up and the most brilliant smile, which made him duck his head again blushing. 

“What do you mean you’re together?” Peter asked suspiciously, “Are you two going to become all gooey like James and Lily?” James and Lily both gave Peter an incredulous looks which made the others chuckle. 

“Yeah, because I certainly don’t need another display like last night…” James scolded but without malice and Harry buried his face in his hands, gods this was worse than he thought. Lily, on the other hand was having a difficult time suppressing her mirth, boy this was worth missing breakfast over… 

“Don’t worry, guys, I promise you we won’t turn the dorm room into a gay fest extravaganza. But you will have to stomach the fact that sometimes, probably most nights we will be sharing a bed. However we would try and keep the sex to another location.” Remus said reasonably and Harry smiled a little, damn but Remus was good in this whole diplomacy thing. 

“You two are a couple…” Sirius muttered to himself, still pacing. He was the only one so far who didn’t seem to be at least somewhat happy for them and Harry wondered why that was. 

“Sirius, do you have a problem with us being together?” He asked quietly, and Sirius stopped and turned to glare at him, 

“You two are just so selfish, all of you in fact!” He said with a wide hand motion to cover them all, “Everyone being paired off and I’m the only one left alone.” He complained loudly. 

“It would help if you managed to actually stay with a girl more than two days in a row.” Lily snarled at Sirius. It was notoriously known in the Gryffindor tower that Sirius Black was the ‘Ladies man’. Or as James so accurately put it ‘The birds tamer’. 

“They’re just so… boring!” Sirius complained, “Maybe I should turn gay. You guys seemed to have figured it out. All sex and no complications!” He smiled and both Harry and Remus turned their faces away from each other. But Sirius was far too absorbed in his little epiphany he didn’t notice, “I could be gay, I mean, how hard can it be, a hole is a hole, right?” He looked around to catch five disgusted faces and shrugged. 

“Sirius, you couldn’t be gay if your life depended on it!” Remus said amusedly, “Name one guy you fancy.”

Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times; clearly at lose for an answer. Harry looked around to see the others shaking their heads, 

“David Bowie!” Sirius finally cried, and looked triumphantly at Remus, who didn’t look in the least bit impressed. 

“Oh, really? And if David Bowie was right here, right now would you have the guts to drop on your knees and suck him off?” Harry covered his mouth with his hands, giggling like mad, and from the corner of his eye he saw that most of the others had a similar reaction. Sirius, faced with the jabs of his friends, pulled himself up to his full height and gave them all a haughty look, 

“I’m a Gryffindor,” He sneered, “Of course I’ll have the guts!” 

“How about you put your money where your mouth is?” Remus challenged him, “How about some practice?” He made to get up but Harry grabbed his arm with an indignant cry, 

“Oi! He can find his own twink to practice on!” James, Lily and Peter were rolling on the sofa laughing at that point and Sirius looked whiter than a sheet at the prospect of sucking off his best friend. Remus simply grinned and leaned back, pulling Harry to him and kissing the side of his face. 

“You couldn’t do it even if it _was_ David Bowie here!” Remus intoned with a wide smirk. Harry snuggled to him possessively, sending glares Sirius’ direction. 

“I think I’ll leave the cock sucking to you homos…” Sirius gulped and tried to smile. By then James and Lily collapsed against each other gasping for air, and Peter slid to the floor wiping the tears from his eyes. 

“Why thank you good sir.” Remus said graciously with a small bow of his head and Sirius stuck his tongue out on him. 

“Well, I’m off to breakfast, all this gay talk made me hungry.” He declared loudly and the rest decided to join him, slowly descending from their height of laughter. Harry and Remus stayed behind, snuggled together on the armchair. 

“Would you have really gone through with that?” Harry asked in a small voice, as much as he enjoyed the downfall of Sirius, a little voice in the back of his mind was still doubting whether Remus would actually let Sirius near his cock or not. 

“Nah, but I knew Sirius would cave first. I know him too well.” Remus said with a satisfied smile. He turned and nuzzled Harry’s neck, which made Harry squirm a little and chuckle. 

“Come on, let’s go.” He said and lodged himself out of the armchair, pulling Remus after him.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter isn’t so much a plot motivator as an explanation on a few things I thought are important for later (or earlier…). Hope you won’t get too bored.

****

JADED

  
**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Eleven:** So tell me… 

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


When they entered the Room of Requirements Remus looked disappointed,  
“What, no bed?” Harry punched him lightly on the arm and went over to the big cushy sofa in front of a large fireplace.

“Not today, one-track! Sit down.” Remus pouted fiercely to show his disappointment for not getting his way but eventually sat down. 

“What are we doing here if we’re not going to shag?” He asked curiously, 

“I wanted to ask you something.” Harry decided the best tactic was to ignore his boyfriend’s insistence on sex, at least for now. Remus pretended to be deflated for a full three seconds before he gave up on the pretence and listened, “It’s about Sirius, and why he hates Snape so much. I mean, why do all the marauders seem to make his life such hell. I know he’s not the nicest person around but still…” 

“Ah, you want to hear the fascinating Saga known as ‘The War of Potions and Honour’,” Remus said with a smirk and Harry gave him a queer look, which Remus ignored, “Well, what you have to realize first of all is that the James Potter and Sirius Black you know now, are not the same boys that came here seven years ago. Growing up in a pure blooded families in the Magical World has a certain… behavioural patterns imbedded in a child,” Harry opened his mouth to ask Remus to get to the point but then he caught the faraway look in his boyfriend’s eyes and realized it was futile. He was just going to have to sit here and listening and regret not asking Lily the same question. “If you ask me, all the stuff about pure blood is crap, but apparently I’m not pure enough so no-one cares what I think. Anyway, Sirius and James were both raised in very ‘heavy duty’ pure blooded families, Sirius more than James of course and when they first came to Hogwarts, their world views were very much different.

“James and Sirius knew each other briefly from family functions before they got to Hogwarts but it was in the train when they really bonded. Now Snape, his only crime at that point was that he wanted to befriend them. But at the time Sirius and James were really snobbish, and I mean putting the S in snobbish kind of snobbish! And there was Snape, a poor half-blood who was daring to approach the royal cream of the crop of the Magical World…. What a goose.” 

“Snape was just trying to befriend them and he got rejected?” Harry was trying to sum the speech in a nutshell. Remus nodded and launched back into his story with renewed glee, 

“And that was only the beginning. During the sorting ceremony things went down fast, James being a Gryffindor wasn’t that much of a shock, since his father was one and his mother was Ravenclaw but Sirius, Sirius Black, son of the ‘Noble house of Black’ that produced nothing but Slytherins for the last three centuries was placed, horror of horrors in Gryffindor! And to complete Sirius’ humiliation- Snape, that half blooded nobody was placed in Slytherin!

“And then things got even worse when Sirius and James got invites to the ‘Slug Club’… Now I don’t know if you’ve heard of this fine institution in our school but basically if you have anything that Slughorn can use to his advantage it will get you an invite. Anyway, Sirius and James got invites based on their name and their families’ reputation. For a full month they felt like kings of the world until Snape showed up in the next club meeting…” 

“Snape got invited to the ‘Slug Club’? Why?” 

“He can do potions. Of course that made James and Sirius go completely round the bend because they only got there because of something they didn’t do and he got on his own merit and that irked James and Sirius more than you can believe. Long story short, they hate him ever since, can we have sex now?” Harry, whose mouth was open for a comment closed it, a little taken back with the shower of information and the rather abrupt end of it. 

“Wait, you want to tell me that Sirius and James hate Snape so much because he’s good in potions? That doesn’t make since!” Remus shrugged and slid lower in his seat, 

“I know, but you know what they say, boys will be boys…” 

“But you’re not acting like a complete idiot because someone is half blood potions master in the making…” Harry argued, 

“Yes, but you have to remember that I didn’t grow up in an up-tight pure blooded family… The Lupins never put too much stance on name and purity.” Remus said and Harry crossed his arms over his chest, he felt rubbish learning all that, at knowing that his father and godfather were putting so much effort into hating someone just because that someone was better as something than they were. It made him feel so bad knowing that he was the product of such a person. A small corner of his mind protested at this, claiming that James had married Lily Evans a muggle-born witch and Sirius had denounced his family for being too pure-blooded. But somehow, right now, it didn’t make Harry feel any better. He curled into himself and stared at the fire, 

“Jaime, what’s wrong?” Remus slid his arm around Harry’s shoulders and was quite grateful that Harry snuggled to his side. 

“I don’t know, it’s just so… stupid, so ridiculous to think that they hate each other so much, for nothing…” 

“I know. But there’s nothing we can do about it. We can only hope that one day they would grow up.” 

“Yeah, I suppose.” They sat there for a while, staring at the fire and listening to each other’s breathing, “Do you think they’re really ok with us being together?” Remus smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s hair, 

“Yes, they are. I told you not to worry. Sirius just can’t stand not being in the centre of attention, it’s nothing personal against you. He’s just a regular attention whore.” Remus assured him and Harry smiled. All the stories he ever heard about his godfather were always about Sirius, not so much the marauders but Sirius. He _was_ an attention whore… 

“How did they find out you were gay?” He asked Remus who looked both amused and frustrated at Harry’s refusal to do anything other than talking. It was something that Remus wasn’t used to; talking with someone he wanted to bed. 

“I told them.” He answered simply, 

“Just like that?” 

“Well, it was easier than having to endure their attempts of matching me up with random girls.” This felt strange, but not in a bad way. Truth be told, he actually liked talking to Harry. 

“This is really weird you know,” He said pensively and Harry frowned in question, “Us sitting here and talking. I never had a casual conversation with someone I slept with before. At least not after I got them in bed that is…” Harry chuckled, 

“You are such a tart! I bet you can’t even remember how many lovers you’ve had until now…” 

“Oh, and you do?” Remus challenged back, feeling a little miffed at being called a tart, not because it wasn’t truth, but because it was Harry who was calling him one. 

“Of course I do! Three isn’t a difficult number to remember!” Harry jutted his chin forward in defiance, trying not to come across as a prude, 

“Three? You had sex with three people? Including me?” Harry nodded and Remus’ jaw dropped in shock, no bloody way! Jaime was fit and gorgeous; how the hell did he managed to stay off the market for so long? 

“It’s not that simple, people tend to look through me and want me for things I’m not…” Harry said stiffly, wanting more than anything to confess it all but he couldn’t- always the cunfudus charm that was tying his tongue, “I don’t trust easily.” He finished lamely, and watched Remus lying back against the armrest of the sofa. He followed when Remus opened his arms and snuggled between them, 

“Tell me.” Harry rubbed his cheek on Remus’ collarbone and sighed, 

“It all started when I was fourteen. There was this girl that I thought was the prettiest thing in the world.”

“A girl?” Remus asked incredulously, “Ewwwww!” Harry chuckled let his fingers trace little pattern on Remus’ stomach, while Remus’ fingers were playing with his hair, 

“Yes, well. It was a really embarrassing time for me. I even tried to ask her to the ball, what a blunder that was!” From the three years distance, the whole Cho Chang affair looked like a work of a complete moron, but at least it didn’t cause him to cringe with shame anymore.   
“When I was in my fifth year we sort of dated, but she was in love with someone else and it turned out the only reason she ever went out with me was to pump me for information on him…” 

“What a bitch! I say good riddance!” Harry pressed a kiss of gratitude to Remus’ chest and continued his story, 

“Anyway, she sort of put me off sex for a while and it was the summer between fifth and sixth year when I told my best mate that I’m never going to kiss anyone else. As it turned out one of his brothers heard me and decided that he would restore my faith in sex.” Harry had to smile when the face of Fred Weasley came floating in his mind, determined to show Harry that just because Cho was a complete mess doesn’t mean everyone is, 

“Did you sleep with him?” 

“Nope, we just experimented… you know snogging and groping and one really awkward blowjob, that sort of thing. He was trying to decide what he was as well. It was nice.” Harry said with a fond smile. Fred was nice, and at least he didn’t pretend that what they were doing was anything more than ‘experimenting’… “He’s now engaged to a really beautiful girl.” And after the fiasco with Bill coming out of the closet and cancelling his engagement to Fleur Mrs. Weasley was just over the moon when Fred brought Angelina to meet her. 

“Ok, so far you made it to the age of sixteen with nothing more than an awkward blowjob to show for it…” Remus said slowly, almost disappointed, 

“Yes, well, on my sixth year I met who I thought was the love of my life… he was a year older than me and adorable. We went out for nearly four months,” Thinking of Kyle Woodsman was far less fond as far as Harry was concerned. He still couldn’t believe he was such a fool! “He was so nice and so adoring and I thought that I hit the bloody jackpot and found the perfect man. When I finally allowed him to take my virginity he was so sweet and loving…” Harry bit his lip as the bitter-sweet memories flashed again, 

“What happened?” Remus asked quietly, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on Harry’s back, feeling the other teen tensing up, 

“Two days later the entire school knew that I was a fag who liked to take it up the arse…” And that would have been tolerable if it was only the population of Hogwarts but such news of the Boy-Who-Lived could not be left out of the papers for long and the chaos that ensued after Rita Skeeter got hold of the story was quite spectacular. It was nearly a month before Harry dared to show his face anywhere outside classes and to think that the bastard Kyle was a bloody Hufflepuff!!! 

“Oh, ouch. That sucks!” Remus cringed in sympathy. Being outed in front of your entire school is no laughing matter. Kids can be so cruel sometimes… 

“You have no idea. I didn’t let anyone close to me after that. Only my friends were allowed within ten feet of me.” 

“So how did you acquire bachelor number two?” Remus asked lightly, trying to get Harry out of the funk he was in because of some low life wanker who couldn’t even see that what he had was the best he’ll ever get. Oh well, his lose is my gain, he thought privately and smiled inwardly- a thought like that would have sent the old Remus climbing up the walls but it seems that without ever meaning to Jaime Harrison got under his skin and now there was no force that could remove him. 

“Last summer my best friend and I decided to go to muggle London and get a tat, it seemed like a really cool idea at the time… but when we got to the tattoo parlour I completely chickened out,” Just hearing the buzzing of the needle made him feel feint, and bloody Hermione thought it was the most hilarious thing she ever saw! “In the end we both decided to get a naval piercing,” That is to say, Hermione paid dearly for her chick and he came out with something cool, even if it wasn’t a tat- because that bloody piercing was painful enough! 

“Good call.” Harry grinned, yes; it seems that it was quite a good call after all. 

“Anyway, when we left the piercing guy gave me his number and my friend pestered me for the rest of the afternoon to call him so I finally did, and we met that night in a club.” 

“Ah, there is life in the boy after all!” Harry slapped Remus lightly on the chest for that comment before he continued his story, 

“We spent that summer clubbing and drinking and fucking and it was brilliant, mostly because I wasn’t expecting anything from Kevin and he wasn’t expecting anything from me. And now I have you, end of story.” Remus sighed, if only his own story was that easy, “What about you?” 

“Me? Oh, quite the standard story really- boy of fifteen sneaks out to clubs under his parents nose, boy gets the fuck of a life time; boy discovers he hates to bottom. Boy spends most of his summers cruising bars for twinks to fuck.” That _was_ a standard story, Harry thought, but only if you’re Remus Lupin, or possibly in a BBC series… 

“I see. And I stand by my original verdict- you’re a tart.” He crossed his arms over Remus’ chest and smiled at him sweetly. Remus rolled his eyes and jabbed Harry’s side in retaliation. Harry yelped and tried to catch Remus hands, but the werewolf wasn’t about to give up without a fight. Soon the two of them rolled off the sofa into the carpet laughing and teasing each other, and from there the way to bare skin was quite short.   
****

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably would have called it a comic relief it was any funnier…   
> **Next time, the return of the infamous Draco and a case of butterbeer.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you were wondering what Harry did to Kyle, Well, Harry himself was far too embarrassed to do anything but Seamus and Dean and Hermione decided to take matters into their own hands and with the generous help of the ever ready Fred and George they ambushed Kyle and let’s just say, they made sure he would not be able to ‘rise to the occasion’ for quite a while, completed with a lovely goat-like body odour to make him this extra bit more attractive…

****

JADED

  
**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Twelve:** Get it while you can  
(Title by Janis Joplin, album ‘Pearl’ )

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


It was Tuesday night again, and the castle was quiet. All the students were in their common rooms studying hard for the up coming winter exams, all but two. Harry and Draco sat in an empty classroom, going steadily through a case of butterbeer and getting warmer and bubblier by the minute (though not really being able to get fully drunk on butterbeer, it nevertheless left a happy buzz when consumed in large quantities), these Tuesday night meeting have become something of a ritual this past month. The initial purpose was to find ways to get back home, but as the time passed and they both realized they were not heading back to 1998 any time soon they started meeting for the sake of meeting.

They would meet sometime near curfew hour, Harry usually brought in the butterbeer (as he had the map and cloak to allow him a brief trip to ‘The Three Broomsticks’ but still couldn’t manage to convince Madame Rosmetta senior to give them something stronger) and Draco was in charge of the food (as nicking into the kitchens did not really require any special equipment). Their favourite meeting spot was the Potions class. Not because it was the most comfortable but because it offered some sort of poetic justice that they would use Snape’s mythological class for something that was entirely not potions. 

The reason they were having fun while the rest of the school was toiling over their studies was, as they so eloquently presented the case to Dumbledore, they didn’t belong in 1977 and would eventually return to their own time where they have already completed the same exams so there was really no point in doing them twice. Dumbledore, although not entirely convinced gave them a leeway with that argument, knowing full well that the two were angry with him for still being in 1977 even after two and a half months. 

The first few weeks of their meetings were dedicated to apologies and blank fillings. Troubled childhood, horrid muggle relatives, strict fathers, sorry I was such a git at Madame Malkin’s, sorry I was just a git before the sorting ceremony, sorry I was such a git in general and that it took us a bloody trip to the past to see that we’re not so different in the end. Once they got all that out of their systems it was time to delve into more important things. 

“So, let me get this straight, you’re shagging professor Lupin, why?” Draco slurred his words a bit, a testimony of how much butterbeer he already consumed. He wriggled a little on his pouf, trying to get the beans to mould comfortably around his arse, and raised his bottle to his lips again. Harry, sitting next to him, rolled his eyes and placed his empty bottle on the floor next to a growing pile of already empty ones and cracked open a fresh bottle before he acknowledge Draco’s question, 

“I love him and he loves me.” He answered with satisfaction, 

“Yeah but he’s so old… he could be your dad…” Draco argued, 

“You mean if Remus wasn’t gay and my mum wasn’t so into my dad?” Draco gave it some thought, the bubbles clearly gone to his head, 

“Yes!” He finally decided and concluded his winning argument with a hearty belch. Harry snickered and shrugged, this was really not the time to dwell on such minor details. 

“Can we please not talk about me and Remus? Tell me something interesting.” He rolled on his bag to face Draco, grinning stupidly and taking large gulps of his butterbeer. Draco leaned on conspiratorially, 

“Did you know that your little rat friend has a Slytherin girlfriend?” Harry screwed his face in disgust at the mention of Peter, but asked all the same, 

“Really?” Draco nodded, 

“Marigold McCord, who you might know better as Mrs. Goyle,” Harry’s eyes opened wide at that, and he leaned closer. Draco, having great fun with all the attention took another sip of his drink to draw the tension, “And let’s just say that Greg didn’t get his bulk from his dad…” It took Harry’s bubble-addled brain a moment to catch on with the implications but when he did he burst out laughing so hard he nearly rolled off his pouf. Draco watched him with a smug smile for a second before he too join in. 

Once the two intoxicated teens calmed and climbed back into their seats, panting with laughter Harry leaned back and gazed at the ceiling. 

“What about Snape, I bet he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” 

“Well, not per se, but he does fancy someone.” Harry gave Draco a side glance, waiting for the punch line, “It’s the Arythmancy teacher.” Harry frowned, 

“Who the hell is the Arythmancy teacher?” 

“I have no idea!” Draco answered cheerfully, “I just know that her name is ‘Mandy’, or at least that what Snape called her.” 

“Fancy that, Snape’s got the hots for a teacher…” Harry chuckled, 

“You’re the one to talk Mr. I shag my DADA teacher twenty years in the past!” Draco retorted, feeling rather proud that he managed to get all the facts right in his state, 

“Will you give it a rest?” Harry cried out, but Draco only gave him a lopsided smile and pointed his bottle at Harry, 

“Not on your life, mate.” It was absolutely fascinating the way Draco’s aristocratic speech would diminish to a common slur when drunk and if Harry wasn’t in such a state himself he’d probably tease Draco on it. 

When Draco reached to the box of butterbeers and came back empty ended it was the sign that the party was over. The two of them ambled to their feet, supporting each other and giggling the whole time. They managed to restore the dungeon to a semi respectable state before they stumbled out, still clutching each other and sniggering. They parted ways near the dungeons entrance where Draco proceeded to go to his common room and Harry was left to try and make his way back all the way to the north tower. At times like these he seriously questioned the wisdom of having their little parties so far from his bed, poetic justice or not. But sadly he usually forgot all about it when morning came and therefore found himself the following Tuesday in the same place.   
****

\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--

The following afternoon found Harry lying on his bed, feeling sorry for himself. Though butterbeer was far from being the most intoxicating brew on the planet, it still gave you a hangover and not for the first time Harry swore that he’d inform Draco that they’re moving their little party to another day, preferably on a weekend, but not right now, first the world should stop spinning. Harry was so busy cursing Madame Pomfrey for her lack of compassion by refusing to give them hangover potion under the pretence that it would teach them a lesson and leaving them fight off the effects on their own, that he didn’t hear Remus slipping into room.

“Hey lovely, how are you feeling?” Remus whispered softly, kneeling next to Harry’s bed, Harry moaned pitifully and turned his head towards the source of the noise, 

“My head hurts…” Remus smiled and brushed the hair out of Harry’s eyes, 

“Look what I got,” He said in a sing-song voice and held up a small vial of potion, 

“What is it?” Harry closed his eyes against the swirling liquid in the vial because it was making his stomach turn, 

“Hangover potion.” Harry’s eyes flew open in shock. Remus gave him a bright smile and placed the little vial in Harry’s hand. Harry didn’t waste any time and gobbled down the brew, trying to overcome the vile taste. He lay back against his pillow giving the potion time to do its job and take away the edge of the pain. When he opened his eyes the world wasn’t spinning anymore and he felt completely restored. He turned in his bed, looking for Remus to thank him in the most boy-friendly way he knew only to see Remus sitting on his bed, absorbed in writing an essay. 

“Thank you.” Harry said softly, quite disappointed that he didn’t get the chance to jump Remus’ bones, 

“You’re very welcome.” Remus replied absently, 

“How did you get hangover potion?” Harry tried again, feeling ignored and hating it, 

“I have my ways.” Remus replied with a smile and a wriggle of his eyebrows, before he returned to his essay ignoring Harry once again. Harry looked at him for a full minute but Remus didn’t show any signs he was going to be moved away from his work so Harry slumped back against the pillows, staring at the canopy above him and feeling quite bereft. 

It seemed to Harry that hours had passed, and in fact he was starting to get sleepy with the lack of something productive to do, when Remus sat up, letting the scroll of parchment he was working on roll into itself and announcing proudly, 

“All done!” Before he could even think of beginning a new essay Harry jumped from his bed and accosted his boyfriend. Books and parchments were flying all about but Remus didn’t protest, mostly because his mouth was far too busy to say anything. 

“Finally!” Harry said with a pout when they came back up for air at last, Remus grinned and ran his fingers in Harry’s hair, flipping them to their sides, and trapping Harry’s pelvis with his leg. Remus hasn’t bothered to inform Harry of the ordeal but secretly he decided that his reward for good work would be to indulge in his boyfriend’s charms and kisses. “I’ve been waiting for this all day…” Harry breathed as he rolled to his back, giving Remus all the space he needed in order to work on his neck, 

“I’m sorry; I had to finish this Arythmancy essay due for tomorrow morning…” Remus explained between kisses and little nips to Harry’s sensitive points. Harry writhed under his boyfriend, feeling so content he nearly missed Remus’ words, 

“Arythmancy?”

“Yeah, Professor Tonks is one slave driver!” Remus said with a shake of his head, I mean who would have thought… 

“Tonks?” Harry’s brain seemed to working extra slow, trying to piece things together, how can Tonks be a teacher, she should be what, four or five years old here…

“Andromeda Tonks, she finished school a couple of years back, got herself knocked up, disowned and married a muggle called Ted Tonks, and then she came back to teach here. She’s Sirius’ cousin, you know.” 

“She has a kid?” Harry’s mind was still coping with the shower of information so his reactions were somewhat sluggish, 

“Yup, called her Nymphadora no less, poor girl...” Remus intoned sympathetically, and Harry nearly chuckled, remembering the fierce glares Tonks gave Mad-Eye Moody the first time he met her after the old ex-auror called her by her given name. 

“She’s Sirius’ cousin?” Of course she was, that made sense, sort of. Wait a second! Harry’s brain screamed, if she’s Sirius’ cousin that means she used to be Andromeda Black and that means… Oh, good gods Draco is going to have kittens when he hears about this! Harry could hardly suppress the grin tugging at his lips- he’s going to have so much fun telling Draco!! 

“Yes.” Remus answered curtly, not too thrilled to spend his ‘reward time’ discussing Andromeda Tonks, so he used Harry’s moment of distraction to loosen his tie and pulled it over Harry’s head, making a short work on the buttons of the oxford shirt to reach the soft and smooth skin. 

When Harry felt those sinful lips on his collarbone all thoughts of Blacks and Tonks’ flew out of his mind. He wriggled and hastily unbuttoned the cuffs, intending to aid Remus as much as he could, when something struck him, 

“Wait, what if someone would come in?” Remus’ head snapped up and he growled low in his chest, making Harry chuckle. Without a word Remus grabbed his wand and turned it to the curtains, closing them with a snap and then casting a silencing charm, 

“There, if they have any more problems they can all bugger off!” He growled again and Harry shrugged, that was fine with him. He started undressing Remus when he realized that he would soon be the only naked bloke around. When the clothes were finally off (with Remus cursing the Hogwarts uniforms the whole process), they pressed together, moaning loudly at the contact of their firm erections. Remus reached out of the curtains to grab to pot of lubricant when the door banged open and Sirius rushed in, 

“It’s snowing!!” He yelled and rushed to his bed, diving under it. Harry and Remus watched him speechless from the gap in the curtains, when Sirius re-emerged triumphantly with his trusty Comet Two-Twenty in his hand. Only when he looked up did he see that Harry and Remus were stripped naked in what could only be described as a compromising position. As soon as Harry caught Sirius’ gaze he wished Remus would let go of the bloody curtain and hide them again, because Sirius looked more like he was about to yell at them than faint with embarrassment and he had had enough of James thinking that Remus was attacking him. Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, his right hand still clutching the broom tight, 

“I thought we agreed that you two weren’t going to shag in the dorms.” He said icily and Harry tried to disappear behind and under Remus, who didn’t seem in the least bit abashed as he sat up, proud erection jutting up in defiance, 

“Well, we are. Deal with it.” Sirius’ eyes narrowed with contempt and he was about to say something else when James appeared in the doorway, short of breath, 

“Come on Pads, let’s…” He stopped short on his tracks and stared at them. Harry’s brain seemed to have completely frozen and he felt all the blood draining from his face. With a frightened shriek he jumped up and grabbed the curtains from Remus’ limp hand and yanked them closed, knocking Remus from the bed in the process and thus the poor werewolf ended up sprawled naked on the floor with a cry of pain. The scene was frozen for a few seconds, and it was Sirius, who found his voice first, 

“Put on some clothes Moony and come enjoy the snow with us.” He said pleasantly, as if Remus wasn’t sitting there naked as the day he was born after he was caught nearly having sex with his boyfriend. “Jay, you’re welcome too.” A muffled sound was heard from behind the closed curtains but there was no telling whether it was an agreement or a refusal. Remus rose slowly from the ground, rubbing his sore arse and smiled at Sirius, 

“Give us ten minutes; we’ll meet you on the pitch.” He said with a smile and Sirius nodded, as he walked to the door and grabbed the stunned James, dragging him behind him. Remus opened the curtains to find a large bulge in the middle of the bed, indicating that his boyfriend once again burrowed himself in the sheets. He tapped the bulge lightly, “They’re gone, you can come out.” 

Slowly Harry’s face emerged from under the covers, bright red with embarrassment. He sat up with a sheepish and apologetic smile, he really hadn’t meant to push Remus out of the bed, he just didn’t want his father to see him naked and in bed with someone. 

“I’m sorry I pushed you out…” Remus shrugged and picked his pants off the floor donning them on, much to Harry’s disappointment (not that he could actually perform right now, his erection taking refuge behind his balls and all but that didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate seeing Remus naked…), and shrugged, 

“It’s ok; it’s not like they haven’t seen me naked before.” He hummed to himself as he put on his clothes with Harry watching from the bed, still not making a move towards dressing himself. Back in his time he didn’t really mind whether his friends saw him naked or not, after seven years in the same dorms, showering, sleeping and changing together it was inevitable that they knew what each other looked naked and that was fine because he never fancied any of his dorm-mates, and none of them were related to him, but here he was the new kid, not to mention that he really, really didn’t want to see or be seeing naked by James. Even though Harry never grew up in a loving home with his parents he was pretty sure that at the age of 17 he and his father shouldn’t be comparing sizes… even by mistake! 

“Aren’t you coming? It’s snowing…” Remus said with a forced smile, he hated winter with every bone of his body. Every year when September came he wished he could have been born in a sunny place. He would dream that he was Bedouin, roaming through the desert in pursue of an oasis, green and lush, or born in Hawaii, walking around with nought but a straw skirt and eating pineapple... Anything that was not the damp little island he had the misfortune of being born on. But the first snow of the year always held magic in it, even for a summer boy like Remus. 

“I’m… You go ahead; I think I’ll head to the library. Not much of a snow fan…” Harry tried to sound casual but from the pink tinting his cheeks Remus could tell he was still mortified. With a smile Remus sat on the bed next to his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him, 

“Don’t worry about them, they’ll come round, you’ll see.” He whispered and Harry nodded mutely, not particularly wanting to share his concerns. He should probably expect a talking down from Lily, complete with the humiliation of her having a good laugh at his expense. 

“Thanks.” He whispered and kissed Remus soundly goodbye before the tawny-haired teen bounded out of the room in search of his friends and snow.   
Harry sighed and slumped back against the pillows, great, just smashing!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

****

JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Thirteen:Mentor for the sexually confused

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


Draco sat in the library practically seething, the nerve some people had! One person in particular! He desperately needed to talk this over with Harry but the git was probably doing the nasty with his beasty boyfriend again. How Harry could even like the man was beyond Draco. Not that he had a particular problem with Remus Lupin, in fact, deep down he thought the werewolf was by far the most able DADA teacher he ever had (1977 included!) but that was just it- Lupin was old, he was best friends with Harry’s parents and he was a werewolf, and Harry knew all that long before he ended up in 1977 and still he wanted the man! Part of Draco wanted to tell Harry that one day, not too long from now they’d be returning to 1998 and that Remus would stay here where he belongs and then where would Harry be? But he had a feeling Harry would say that he’d love the older Remus just as much as he did the young one and that was more than a little disturbing for Draco so he kept his mouth shut.

But Harry issues aside, he needed to talk about his own problems and the only one he trusted enough was Harry who was a no show! Draco even contemplated walking to the north tower and demand to see the boy but stopped himself- not once during his seven years in Hogwarts had he visited the Gryffindor tower and there was absolutely no need to start now. 

It was the last week of school before everyone was to go home for the winter holidays and he was rather bored, not having the mad rush for exams as the rest. Every year, around this time he’d usually curse and whine on the work load, but this year he was just about ready to ask Dumbledore to take the exams anyway. This new found freedom so close to the hols was not as welcome as he though it would be. At least in normal years he knew he had two and a half weeks of pure bliss as a reward for his efforts but now, not only that he was practically already in holidays but he couldn’t go home for Christmas which meant he’d have to stay in the boring castle and do nothing just like now only he’d have less people around to do nothing with… 

While Draco was contemplating whether to give in to his dark mood Harry bounded into the library happily, it’s been a week since he found the news about Andromeda Tonks and he didn’t have a chance to tell Draco yet! He spotted the ex-blond looking rather morose in a corner table and headed towards him, 

“Hello there, Alex,” He greeted cheerfully as he seated himself, completely unfazed by the glare Draco was sending him. “How’s it going?” 

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been looking for you everywhere for the last couple of days!” Draco snapped, and Harry frowned at him, 

“I was around all weekend…” Which technically was true, but only if ‘around’ could be translated into ‘The Room of Requirements where Remus and I camped for the entire weekend, the sex was fantastic, thank you very much…’

“I need to talk to you!” Draco hissed and looked around to see if certain people were around and listening, “It’s about Regulus.” 

“Who’s Regulus?” Harry asked, clearly disappointed he couldn’t spring the fact that Snape was in love with Draco’s aunt on Draco anytime soon, 

“He’s your mutt’s little brother, Regulus Black.” Draco said with an impressive roll of his eyes, which Harry chose to ignore, 

“What about him?” Draco looked around him before leaning forward conspiratorially,

“I think he’s got the hots for me…” He whispered, face pinking fast. Harry bit his lip trying to hold back a grin and tried to think of something productive to say,

“So?” Productive, not daft you twat! 

“I’m not gay!” Draco hissed loudly and immediately checked to see if someone was looking at them. Harry was on the verge of snorting with laughter but knew this would not be conducive to the situation so he settled for a polite nod, which only made Draco angrier, “What am I going to do?” 

“Well, you can always tell him that you’re not gay and that he should butt out or you’ll hex him.” Harry said with a shrug, not really happy with his new role as a mentor for the sexually confused. 

“And what if he’s not trying to pick me up and I’ll make a complete fool of myself?” Harry wanted to smack that fat head, and he bit down the rather caustic reply that was on the tip of his tongue in favour of asking levelly, 

“Ok, let’s start at the beginning, what makes you think he wants you?” 

“He keeps touching me… He doesn’t touch anyone else like this!” Draco defended himself when he saw Harry’s sceptical look, “And he doesn’t have a girlfriend.” 

“Not everyone who doesn’t have a girlfriend is gay, you know…” Draco sighed; this was going to be harder than he thought, 

“It’s the way he keeps following me, at first I thought it was because he wanted to be close to the seventh years, he’s a sixth you know, but then I realized he wasn’t trying to butter up any of the other seventh, it was just me. He keeps trying to talk to me, smile at me whenever he sees me and always touches me, little touches but for the love of the gods it’s annoying!” Harry bit his lip when he thought of himself trying to woo Remus two months ago, gods was I that pathetic too? 

“Tell him to look up Fabian Prewett.” He tossed at Draco while he was trying to overcome his own shame, 

“Who the hell is Fabian Prewett and why would I want to inflict Reg on him?” Draco asked suspiciously, 

“Never mind…” Harry mumbled, “Look, you’re just going to have to tell him to back off.” He said with a level voice, and Draco started fidgeting in his seat, 

“Well, you see… it’s not that simple…” Harry watched the squirming figure in front of him and suddenly it hit him, 

“You fancy him back!” Draco’s eyes widened and his head snapped up, he looked around to see if anyone caught Harry’s rather loud whisper, before he smacked the raven-haired boy on the arm, 

“Shut up!” Harry rubbed his arm and smiled, enjoying tremendously the flush that was steadily taking over Malfoy’s face. Draco buried his face in his hands and moaned softly, shit this was not going well. 

“Oh sweet Merlin, you’re secretly wanting Regulus Black to rub you the right way…” Harry whispered amazed, fuck but this was fun! Draco gave out another heart wrenching moan that was muffled by his arms before he lifted his head and gave Harry a pitiful look, 

“I’m a horrible person aren’t I? I love Pansy, I really do and we’re to be married this summer… I always thought I was the luckiest bloke alive, being in love with the girl your parents wants you to marry; I mean how rare is that? And now…” Harry leaned forward and placed a calming hand on Draco’s arm, suddenly not as thrilled at the prospect of humiliating his former nemesis.

“You start having cravings for the other flavour…” 

“Would you stop with these stupid euphemisms?” Draco snapped and Harry smiled, they did suck as far as euphemisms go, but on his defence Harry was still a bit shocked by the fact that Draco declared he wasn’t gay only to become a classic closet case… “I know I’m not gay, but lately I’m starting to think that… maybe… do you think it’s folly to get married at the age of 18?” 

“Yes. Especially if you’re not ready for it which clearly you’re not. I think you just want to try and squeeze in as much fun as you can before you get shackled down by Pansy forever.” Harry said with a smile and Draco huffed, 

“Well, thank you for that in-depth analysis Dr. Freud.” Draco snarled and Harry gaped at him in amazement, “What, I took muggle studies for six friggin years you know.” A long silence stretched between the two as each tried to think of a way to worm out of this uncomfortable conversation. Harry shot side-glances at Draco, taking in the forlorn expression of his new friend. It was clear that Draco was confused and tormented and suddenly Harry wanted nothing more than help him. Some selfish part of him wanted each of his friends to feel just as good as he did, or as close as possible. 

“Look, why don’t you just talk to Regulus, see if he’s really into you or not.” Draco sighed and closed his eyes as if he was in pain. Trust Harry bloody Potter to be completely useless… 

“What if… If you really want to help, you could just help me, um… practice…” Draco said without looking up at Harry. He fiddled with his quill and waited until Harry’s thick mind would cope with the information, which surprisingly wasn’t very long, 

“You want me to help you practice… Practice what exactly?” 

“Being gay you twat!” Draco hissed and Harry blinked at him in shock, 

“Let me get this straight, you want me to practice being gay with you?” 

“It’s no biggie, just one kiss.” Draco objected, it wasn’t like he was asking Harry for a shag… 

“No!” Harry was truly and honestly scandalized by the offer. He was getting along with Draco just fine these past couple of weeks but that was quite a leap of faith to start snogging him! Especially when he had a perfectly good boyfriend to snog instead! 

“Hey, Jaime, I’ve been looking all over for you.” Harry lifted his head and smiled, it was as if Remus was summoned here by the mere thought of a snog. 

“Hey, Rem.” Remus dropped into the chair next to Harry and Harry tilted his head for a kiss. Draco rolled his eyes and felt his stomach turning, 

“Do you have to do this here?” He complained loudly and Remus pulled Harry towards him, placing his chin on the dark-haired boy’s shoulder, 

“And hello to you as well, Alex.” He said with a wide smile, and Draco huffed. He started picking up his things when Harry stopped him with a hand on his arm,

“Alex wait. Just… talk to him; you never know what you might find out. He might very well fancy you.” Draco was about to smack Harry’s head for tipping Remus as to his problem but he knew that the werewolf would have been informed one way or another. Harry was just that kind of bloke… 

“How fancies you?” Remus asked and Harry shrugged, 

“Regulus Black.” Harry answered, much to Draco’s dismay, “We’re trying to find out if he’s gay.” 

“Oh, he’s gay alright.” Remus said with a smile, and Draco frowned, 

“How do you know?” Harry, the ever so obtuse strike again Draco thought. He found it far more amusing than he had right to, because by rights he should be dead pissed that the guy who was after him was used goods. 

“Let’s just say… he was very willing…” Remus was starting to feel a little bit uneasy about the conversation. He knew what he was, Harry knew what he was and if he and Alex were close enough friends then the Slytherin probably knew what he was as well, but this did not mean that he wanted to talk about his formers lovers with his current one. 

“Oh.” And that was why he didn’t want to talk about it. Jaime was far too sensitive to take these things lightly and Remus didn’t want to hurt him. 

“So, Reg is gay?” Draco was desperately trying to lighten up the atmosphere. It won’t do no good if Harry and Remus broke up over his stupid remarks. He still needed Harry to be on his side, and a happy Harry was easier to deal with than a moody one. 

“Yup. And if you’re asking whether he likes you or not, I’d say yes.” Remus answered his arms still around Harry though he could feel the tension in the other boy’s body. 

“How can you tell?” 

“Because he’s been watching us for the last five minutes looking more jealous than I’ve ever seen him at the fact that we got you all to ourselves.” He replied casually and Draco’s jaw dropped. Harry looked around him and sure enough, Regulus’ head disappeared behind a bookshelf followed by a little crash and a pained cry. He smiled mischievously and leaned forward, running his fingers on Draco’s cheek, 

“Why don’t we go and find someplace more… comfortable?” He asked in the sultriest voice he could, and felt Remus smiling behind him, 

“Yeah, this library is far too crowded. Tell me Alex, ever been to the… greenhouses?” A shocked squeak was heard from behind the bookshelf before a red-faced Regulus Black appeared, 

“You stay away from him!” He hissed at Harry and Remus who both gave him blinding smiles. Draco slowly turned in his chair to look at Regulus,

“Reg? What are you doing here?” 

“I’m not going to let you go with the two of them, they just want to use you for… sex.” The last word was whispered in a hushed tone but resonated between them nonetheless. Harry and Remus snickered and Draco tried to look as if he hadn’t just been played for a fool. 

“Oh, come on Reg, lighten up. If you want the lad, he’s all yours.” Remus said with a generous tilt of his head that caused Regulus to flush red with embarrassment and Draco with anger, 

“I don’t want… I mean… I just wanted to protect… I…” The poor Slytherin mumbled. Draco caught Harry’s eye and the latter winked at him. Draco straightened up and rose from his chair, 

“Regulus Black, are you trying to hit on me?” He asked in his no-nonsense tone and Regulus blanched a bit, 

“Y-Yes…” 

“Good, than let’s find a better spot to continue.” Draco said haughtily and led Regulus out of the library, the sound of Harry and Remus’ laughter accompanying them outside. Remus snuggled closer to Harry, 

“Hmm, that was fun.” He whispered,

“Yeah, except for the part where you shagged Regulus Black… Does Sirius even know you’ve bended his brother in the greenhouses?” Remus tensed a bit at the coldness in Harry’s tone but decided to take it all in stride, after all Harry didn’t have any reason to be mad at him, he had told him about his sexual past and if Harry had a problem with that it was his thing and not Remus’! 

“No, he doesn’t and you are not going to tell him, and besides, I didn’t ‘bend him over in the greenhouses’,” He snarled, “It was in the Astronomy tower.” Harry couldn’t really help himself, and let a small chuckle escape his lips, he hurried to cover his mouth but it was too late. Remus turned his boyfriend around and kissed the tip of his nose. With a wide smile he rose from his seat and grabbed Harry’s hand, pulling him to his feet. 

“Let’s go see how well Reg deals with virgins…” He said with a wink and started dragging the astonished Harry behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All you fans of Harry/Draco: You didn’t honestly think that Harry would say yes, did you?!


	14. Chaptr Fourteen

** JADED **

..oo00oo..

Chapter Fourteen: My zero to your power of ten equals nothing at all  
(Title from ‘One White Duck / 0^{10} = Nothing At All’ by Jethro Tull, album- Minstrel in the Gallery)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


“Oh, for the love of Merlin, Sirius, why didn’t you just go with James?” Remus moaned pitifully and sat up. Harry, who was trapped under his boyfriend’s body tried to straightened his form and sit up without looking to ashamed. They were trying to have a little snogging session on the sofa in the common room taking full advantage of the fact that for once the tower was empty. Well, almost empty… from some reason Sirius Black decided to stay behind rather than go with James as he usually did and that meant that once again Harry and Remus could not make the full usage of their dorm room and common room as they so anticipated.

It was true that Sirius had no fundamental problem with the two of them together, the thing was- with the emptying of the castle for the Christmas holidays it meant that most girls left to go home as well and Sirius was left rather entertainment-less, until he found the potential of interrupting every romantic encounter between his friends, under the simple justification that if he wasn’t having any fun than no one should either. It’s been three days since the rest of the school left and already both Harry and Remus were ready to toss Sirius out of the tower window. 

“Come on guys, it’s so beautiful outside, we should go and have a snow fight.” Sirius tried to cajole the two into it, knowing full well that this might very well be his defeat, as they were more than likely to gang up against him, but Sirius was bored and a bored Sirius was more dangerous than a transforming werewolf. 

“I hate snow,” Remus grumbled, “And right now, I hate you too.” Sirius flashed him a brilliant smile, completely unfazed by the coldness of tone Remus used. “Tell me again why you didn’t go to James’ this Christmas?” Remus sighed, cursing James for not dragging Sirius with him, 

“Because,” Sirius began in an exasperated voice, “James decided he’s going to visit with Lily’s parents. Poor Prongs, stuck half the holiday with muggles…” Sirius giggled and Remus nodded in sympathy, if there was one thing James excelled at it was making a fool of himself. And being a pure-blood amongst muggles was a sure recipe for hours and hours of fun at James’ expanse. 

“Still you could have gone and stayed with his parents. They’d loved to have you there no matter what.” Remus objected. Harry stifled a smile, Remus was acting as if Sirius could actually still do something about the matter, but he figured that every excuse to spend time alone with Remus was worth it. “You can also go to Grimauld. It’s empty for the hols; your family went to France.” 

“How do you know that?” Sirius questioned suspiciously, this wasn’t like Remus to know what was going on in the Black household. Even Sirius didn’t know where his parents spent their holidays nowadays. After he left home at the age of 16 he never looked back and truth be told, he never wanted to. It was by far enough that he had to see Regulus in the halls and during meals. 

“Reg.” Remus answered simply. 

“Since when are you and my brother so chummy with each other?” Sirius barked, feeling completely miffed that things were happening behind his back. 

“He and Alex are an item and Alex is best friends with Jaime.” Remus explained simply and Harry nearly smacked him in the head. Why don’t you just hang a sign on us saying ‘Come and kill us’ you daft wolf! He thought furiously but didn’t get a chance to say it out loud because the heavy breathing, red faced Sirius beat him to it, 

“WHAT? My brother in not gay!” He bellowed and Remus chuckled, but before he could comment Harry pinched him hard on the arm to silence him, 

“Hey, Pads, listen I’ve been thinking- why don’t you teach me how to turn into an animagus?” Harry tried desperately to stir the conversation away from anything that would frame him. Not that it made much difference what Sirius thought of his brother but if he’ll learn that Harry and Remus helped bring him and Draco together there was no telling what Sirius might do to them.   
Besides, it wasn’t a lie or anything, because Harry did want to learn to transform, to be with Remus more than anything, but Remus wasn’t exactly the man to help him, since he never transformed to his animagi form voluntarily. 

“Really? Of course I’ll teach you!” Sirius jumped on the opportunity to have something to do, and besides, it wasn’t like he _really_ cared about Regulus’ sexuality… “It’s going to be brilliant!” Remus shot Harry an accusatory glare and Harry shrugged, it was your fault, you opened you big mouth! “Let’s start now!” 

Before Harry had time to protest Sirius dragged him by the arm to the middle of the common room where he cleared a space by pushing the furniture back with a spell. Remus followed them, looking rather bored. If it was up to him, he’d send Sirius to butt heads with Alex so that he could have a couple of minutes alone with Jaime but so far Jaime proved to be much more Gryffindor than most of the house members and Remus just knew that if Sirius was out for blood Jaime would go after him to stop him. So he simply sighed in registration and leaned against the sofa’s back, watching the other two. 

“Alright, first of all, a little theory, I know this is the _professor_ area,” Sirius chuckled as he ducked from the slap Remus was aiming at his head, “but we have to go through it. Briefly. There are two major types of magic, one that is outside and one that is in. The outside magic is the one you perform with your wand, it still comes from within you because otherwise you’d be a muggle waving a stick but you still need the wand to function as a conductor to your magic. The other type of magic, the inside one, is a lot harder to tap into and a lot of witches and wizards just don’t bother with it.” Harry looked at Remus with an amused expression and the latter returned it with a shrug. Apparently Remus wasn’t the only ‘professor’ around. Unfortunately Sirius caught the little exchanged look; he crossed his arms over his chest with a huff. 

“ _Anyway_! What you need in order to become an animagus is to dig deep inside you and find your inner animal, in your case a wolf.” Sirius said with a generous gesture to draw the attention back to himself. “Close your eyes, picture your animagus form and when you see it reach for it, with your mind.” He instructed and Harry nodded, trying to figure out how he’s going to act on these vague instructions. 

“Think of it as a form of Occlumency, you need to control your thoughts and be able to wonder inside your own mind freely.” Remus supplied helpfully. Harry nodded and closed his eyes, trying to clear his mind and ignore the stares he was getting from Sirius and Remus. He tried to clear his head as best as he could bringing forward the image of the wolf and then tried to mentally touch him, only to have the illusive form slip between his mind’s fingers each time.   
“Jaime, Jaime, come back.” Harry opened his eyes startled and found himself wrapped securely in Remus’ arms, panting and sweating. He straightened himself up on his own feet and rested his head on Remus’ shoulder, 

“Did something happen?” He asked hoarsely and Sirius shook his head sadly, 

“Nope, you just fell forward and Moony caught you.” Remus ran his hand comfortingly up and down Harry’s back, 

“Don’t worry, it was a good first effort, you’ll just have to try again.” He assured Harry. Harry at the moment didn’t really feel too worried about animagi forms, not when Remus’ hands were travelling his back so deliciously. 

“Right! Let’s have another go.” Sirius cried out excitedly and Harry gulped a little. Damn. Three seconds and he already forgot about Sirius… He detached himself from Remus’ arms reluctantly and walked to the centre of the room again. 

For the next hour he tried again and again to reach the wolf and each time found himself bereft. Harry slumped to the floor tiredly, taking off his glasses and rubbing his sore eyes, 

“It’s not working. I guess I’m just never going to be an animagus…” He lamented softly. Remus crouched next to him and Harry burrowed into his hug, 

“No you’re not; you just need to practice more.” He said reassuringly and Harry lifted his eyes hopefully to him, 

“Jaime!” Sirius snapped and Harry nearly jumped up, “Describe your wolf to me.” Harry looked at him puzzled, 

“What?” 

“Describe your animagus wolf to me.” Sirius repeated and crossed his arms over his chest. Harry frowned for a moment before answering, 

“Hmm, he’s grey, well brownish grey with golden eyes…” He said uncertainly and Sirius slapped his own forehead with exasperation, 

“You utter twit! You can’t try and morph into someone else’s animagus!” He cried and Harry opened his mouth to protest, “Show me your animagus form again.” Sirius demanded and Harry complied with a pout at being called a twit. The image of the wolf morphed before them and Sirius walked closer before he dropped to his knees, 

“You see, your wolf is much darker than Remus’ and it has green eyes… Why would your wolf have green eyes?” Harry tried to shrug it off as not knowing so Sirius would drop it. 

“You mean he’s been trying to tap into my wolf?” Remus asked in an amused voice and Sirius nodded grimly. Remus turned to the blushing Harry and hugged him tighter, “This is the nicest thing anyone tried to do for me…” He mumbled into Harry’s hair, causing the other teen to blush even harder. 

“Alright, that’s enough you two, there are other people about!” Sirius complained loudly, rising to his feet and trying to put some distance between him and the cuddling couple on the floor,   
“Try it again, and this time try to think of your own wolf.” He instructed and Harry reluctantly let go of Remus. The two of them stood up and Remus retreated back to his place by the sofa while Harry closed his eyes and tried to focus on the dark-grey, green-eyed wolf. 

“Oh, bloody hell.” He heard the soft whispering and opened his eyes, looking puzzled at Sirius, 

“What? What happened?” He asked anxiously when he saw the shining eyes of his friends,

“You were glowing, this bloody works! Try again!” Sirius demanded and Harry tried to smile while swaying on the spot with fatigue, 

“Sirius, I think he had enough for one day, we’ll continue tomorrow.” Remus interjected softly, and Harry smiled at him in thanks, 

“Yeah, well, no wonder he’s done, if he would have focused on his own wolf from the start we’d be miles ahead of ourselves by now.” Sirius muttered to himself and Harry tossed him a furious glare. “Tomorrow, ten a.m. here.” Sirius said before he stepped out of portrait hole, leaving the young couple to their own devises.

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

“Come on Jaime; just tell me where we’re going…” Remus pleaded, but Harry wouldn’t relent, and kept leading his wolf blindfolded and stumbling through the corridors. Remus tried to be excited about this little adventure, he really was but the fact that on top of it being the full moon it was Christmas day was making him feel completely deprived. It was simply not fair. In fact his bad mood started pretty soon after the holidays did but he managed to keep it under wraps at the sight of Jaime’s excited face whenever he practiced his animagus form but today was just too much for him to keep on a cheery façade and Jaime bloody well knew it and still he was playing games.

“Stand here for a second.” Harry instructed and Remus crossed his arms over his chest to indicate his displeasure. 

“Come on Jaime, this isn’t funny…” He grumbled and a second later he felt Harry’s hands on his arms, “Can I open my eyes now?” 

“Nope.” Remus was about to defy the order and be done with things but something in Jaime’s voice stopped him and he obediently let the other boy lead him. “Now you can open your eyes.” Harry’s voice was soft coming from behind Remus’ shoulder. Remus ripped the cloth from his face and opened his eyes gingerly looking around him, his jaw dropping in astonishment, “You like it?” 

“I… Oh, Merlin…” Remus breathed out as he took in the look of the Room of Requirements, “Is that for me?” He asked hoarsely, feeling his bad mood dissipating away, Harry wrapped his arms around his wolf’s waist and placed his chin on Remus’ shoulder, smiling broadly, 

“Yes.” Remus’ eyes roamed around trying to take every detail in. The place looked amazing, no it was beyond amazing it was… flabbergasting, formidable. 

The Room of Requirements looked nothing like a room anymore. Instead it was a forest clearing, beautiful and serene bathing in last rays of sunset. The grass was soft and springy and the trees in the outskirts of the clearing looked strong and old. In the middle of the clearing was a rock-pool. A beautiful basin full of bubbly water and inviting steam rising from it, the air was warm and fragrant and made Remus forget all about the winter that was biting harshly outside. 

“The water is full of aromatherapy oils meant to sooth and relax. I named it ‘Remus bath’ so if you ever feel like coming here for a bit of a soak this is what you’d need to think of.” Harry explained, feeling a tad nervous by the fact that Remus still hasn’t said a word. He knew that if Remus didn’t do anything soon he’d panic and start to babble like an idiot, which would make things so much worse so he turned the stunned teen in his arms and pressed their lips together. Remus returned the kiss with vigour, trying to let it talk for his word-bereft mind. 

“Why don’t we continue this in the water?” He breathed when they parted and started unbuttoning Harry’s shirt. Harry smiled widely and slid his hands under Remus’ blue sweater to lift it up. They fumbled with their clothes for a while before they managed to get each other naked. Remus grabbed Harry’s hand and led him towards the edge of the little pool. Harry could feel his skin tingling with anticipation, wanting nothing more than to be immersed in the fragrant tub with his lover. 

Remus was the first in, shuddering when his skin came into contact with the hot water. The basin wasn’t very deep and the water didn’t even reach his waist when he was standing up. He slowly sank down and sat on a little ledge of rock that was forming from the side of the pool, and spread his arms wide on the rocky edge, enjoying the little jet streams of bubbles that were engulfing his body like thousands of little kisses on his skin. 

He sighed deep and closed his eyes in bliss, yes; this was something that would be quite easy for him to get used to. He opened his eyes after a while to look at his lovely boyfriend standing naked on the edge of the tub, looking hungrily at him. On any other day of the month Remus would probably duck under the water with beet red face at the sight of such undiluted lust but the wolf in him was strong and he knew what he wanted, 

“Are you going to stay there for long?” He growled and Harry smiled, slipping into the pool gracefully and walking towards Remus, his eyes never leaving the golden orbs. When he closed the short distance between them Harry dipped down to straddle Remus’ hips, feeling the bubbles dancing on his skin and loving every second of it. They kissed for a long while, just enjoying the feel of the bubbles on their skins before Remus wrapped his arms around the slim waist of the boy on top of him and rose on his feet, turning around and placing Harry on the ledge of the rock-pool. 

A quick thought formed a small pot of lubricant next to Harry’s thigh and Remus wasted no time in preparing the other teen. He placed his hand on Harry’s chest and pushed him backward, until he lay sprawled on the soft grass, his body supple and waiting. Remus hitched Harry’s legs around his waist and let the head of his cock tease Harry’s eager entrance, causing the boy to arch and moan with need, but Remus did not push further. Harry opened his eyes in frustration, wondering what it was that caused Remus to stop so close before heaven and met the feral golden eyes fixed on him, 

“Say it.” Harry frowned at his boyfriend and his hand sneaked towards his aching cock to create some much needed friction only to have it slapped away by the growling wolf. Remus brushed the head of his cock against Harry’s entrance again and repeated his words, “Say it!” 

“Say what?” Harry was trying to understand what was going around him, while his entire being was screaming for release, but Remus wouldn’t let him have any, 

“You know what. Say. It.” Harry closed his eyes and spread his arms and his body to his tormentor, 

“I love you.” He whispered, 

“Louder!” 

“I LOVE YOU!” Harry nearly screamed and the last word turned into a deep moan as Remus slammed into him, hard. 

“Again.” 

“I love you.” 

Another hard slam that was bruising his prostate and sanding shockwaves through Harry's body, and gods did he want more of that, 

“I love you.” 

He practically sobbed, desperate to feel his lover inside him, as far as Remus could go, words didn't really matter anymore and right now he'd tell Remus anything he wanted to hear just to be fucked so thoroughly. 

“I… lo…Oh, gods yes!” By now Harry was babbling and he didn’t even know what he was saying anymore, he could hear his own voice and Remus’ growls and moans but nothing made sense anymore. He arched his back high when he felt Remus’ long fingers close on his erection and working him at the same brutal rhythm he was working his prostate. He felt himself exploding between them, coming hard and long, before his abused arse was flooded with Remus’ essence. He felt his lover collapse next to him, sliding softly from his sensitive channel and into the water again. 

The two took their time coming down from their orgasmic height, Remus was still immersed in the hot water, letting the bubbles and oils sooth his aching muscles while Harry stayed where he was, legs in the water and laying on the grass, trying to make sense of the world around him. 

“I have to go.” Remus’ voice was the first coherent thing that entered Harry’s brain and he slowly rose to a sitting position. He nodded and pulled Remus to him, placing a soft kiss on the other boy’s lips before Remus reluctantly climbed out of the pool and went in search of his clothes. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asked before he opened the door and Harry nodded again.   
After the door was closed behind Remus’ back, Harry still sat there, watching the bubbles playing around his flexing toes and wondering sadly if he’ll ever hear those words spoken back at him.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

****

JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Fifteen: It's the end of the world as we know it (but I don't feel so well…)  
(Original title by R.E.M., album- Document)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


Harry took another hearty swig of his butterbeer and sighed. Tonight the fizzy drink wasn’t having its fuzzy effect on him, and there was a heavy feeling burdening his heart.

“Are you still harping over the fact that your boyfriend didn’t say he loves you?” Harry turned his head towards Draco’s irritated drawl and sighed again, wishing he never shared the little Christmas escapade with him, 

“Just drop it, ok?” He grumbled and turned his head back up to look at the enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall. In honour of it being the New Year’s Eve Harry and Draco decided to have a little party of their own, mostly because Harry was a little pissed with Remus and none of Draco’s sparse friends were around. The Great Hall seemed like the ideal choice, it was big and spacious and quite empty now that all the house tables were pushed out of the way.   
And that was how the stroke of midnight found them, pleasantly sozzled, lying on the centre table and gazing at the ceiling which was snowing softly. 

“I’ll make you a deal. If you leave the heartless bastard I’m going to go all the way with Reg.” Harry turned to his side with a little difficulty and sat up, looking down at Draco, 

“That’s a rubbish deal,” He concluded after a bit, “Why would I want to leave Remus?” 

“Because he’s using you and you’re too dumb to see him for what he really is- a heartless bastard.” Draco explained while trying to balance his drink and sit up at the same time. 

“He’s not heartless.” Harry mumbled, 

“Then you’re a fool.” Harry shrugged, it was true, he was a fool, a complete and utter idiot for putting up with Remus’ indifference but he loved the man and he couldn’t help it. Deep down he knew that he’d give Remus anything even if he knew he was never going to get something in return. This was just how he was and he couldn’t help it. 

“Well, happy 1978.” He intoned and lifted his bottle in a toast, not really wanting to discus his angst over his relationship. 

“I hate 1978,” Draco growled, “I wasn’t even born in 1978! Fifth of June 1980, now there’s a good date…” He mused and Harry rolled his eyes, 

“Narcissist little blighter.” He murmured with a smile, at least Draco was still Draco, no matter what the year was. They sank into silence again, drinking the last of their butterbeer before Harry produced the bottle of firewhiskey he finally managed to charm out of Madame Rosmetta’s mother, who was the current owner of ‘The Three Broomsticks’. Since they didn’t have any glasses and they were both far too drunk to conjure proper ones they simply passed the bottle from one to another taking hearty swigs of the amber liquid. 

Harry lifted the bottle to his eyes level and looked at it thoughtfully, the light from the candles above broke and sparkled on the glass and through the liquid and more than anything the colour of the firewhiskey reminded him of Remus’ eyes, warm and golden when they looked at Harry. 

“I love him, I can’t help it…” He whispered to the bottle before he drank deeply from it. Behind him he could hear a snort, 

“You are completely pathetic, you know that?” 

“Oh, yeah?” He retorted, “Well, at least I don’t have to resort to dodgy bargains in order to get the man I want in my bed.” Draco turned and huffed, 

“That’s not the same!” He cried and Harry gave him a sloppy smile, 

“Draco, you’re over thinking it, it’s 1978 for the love of Merlin- no one back home would even know if you bent over for someone or not! Hell, Reg isn’t even going to make it to 1998!” Harry argued, quite proud with his reasoning, and Draco gasped, 

“Holly shit, you’re right! Gods, that’s way worse, it’ll be like shagging a corpse!” He cried and Harry giggled, trying to bring his mouth back into working order, 

“He’s alive now… Tell you the truth, I wouldn’t mind if some of my lovers were dead… Well, one of them…” He mused sadly, suddenly feeling very sorry for himself, 

“I take it we’re _not_ talking about a certain werewolf…” Draco drawled and took another mouthful of the burning liquid and somehow managing to spill quite a bit on the front of his shirt, 

“Gods, you’re relentless…” Harry sighed, why do they always have to go back to talking about Remus? This was quite unhealthy! 

“I just want what’s best for you.” Draco declared with a generous gesture with the bottle and Harry giggled again, before the words sank into his fogged brain, 

“Since when?” Draco gazed at the bottle in his hand, deep in thought, 

“Must be a case of butterbeer and half a bottle of firewhiskey ago…” He concluded at last and both boys sniggered at each other, before Draco passed the bottle to Harry. “But seriously, what are you planning to do when we get back home, ask his hand in marriage?” He snorted at the idea. The bottle that was halfway to Harry’s lips stopped mid-air and Harry gave Draco a quizzical look, 

“Is it even possible?” 

“Of course it is.” Draco huffed, the magical folks have learned long ago what Muggles were still trying to hush even at the closing of the first millennium- you can’t change people so why try. 

“Than I guess I do.” Harry said quietly. The thought of marriage never really crossed his mind before, mostly because he knew that Remus would never want to marry a student twenty years his junior but if he was honest with himself, and right now he was being quite honest with himself (it’s quite amazing how much alcohol and veritaserum have in common…), marrying Remus sounded like a splendid idea. 

“Pathetic!” Draco declared triumphantly. The word fast becoming his favourite when it came to describing Harry, or maybe it was just the easiest one to think about in his current state, “You’re completely swoony over him… Swoony over Moony…” He giggled softly at his own brilliance and Harry shrugged, “I like it- Swoony over Moony… I could make a button out of it… Yeah…” He mused cheerfully, 

“Oh, good gods, no…” Harry moaned pitifully, but Draco grabbed the bottle from him and waved his hand, 

“Oh, shush, I’m brilliant with buttons… Remember forth year?” 

“I’m doing my best to forget.” 

“Yeah, I suppose you are…” Draco said pensively, but not remorsefully, “But you have to admit my buttons were pure genius!” Harry snorted in dismissal, 

“Yeah, because ‘Potter Stinks’ is a real brain teaser… it doesn’t even rhyme!” He added after a careful thought. 

“You’re just jealous you didn’t come up with it yourself.” Draco jabbed his finger in Harry’s chest to prove his point and Harry slapped his hand away, leaning against Draco for support as his world began to sway dangerously, 

“You’re drunk. And an idiot.” He said with conviction and Draco sniggered, 

“Oh, but you love me anyway…” He purred and pressed his lips to Harry’s without even thinking what he was doing. Harry, in his intoxicated state didn’t have much more control over his actions than Draco did and he tentatively kissed back. Somewhere in the back of his brain he registered that this wasn’t the boy he wanted to kiss, but he couldn’t stop himself, not when the soft lips parted under the pressure of his tongue and he was given a free reign to explore the firewhiskey-tasting mouth under his. 

When they finally had to pull back for air the two boys found themselves laying flat on the table top, limbs tangled together and the bottle of firewhiskey dribbling the last of its contents from the bench below them onto the floor. Harry looked down at the flushed face of the boy under him and blinked several times before the fog in his brain cleared enough to acknowledge the identity of the other boy. He hastily tried to jump to his feet, face flushed and eyes wide but his unstable balance and the fact that the table wasn’t the widest thing in the world resulted in a rather spectacular tumble and crush. Harry groaned in pain and rubbed his aching back with one hand and his aching head with the other. 

“Oh, shit.” He muttered and felt the bile rising to his mouth, “Oh, bloody hell!” 

“Hmm, I think we should lay off the firewhiskey for a while.” Sounded a rather sheepish voice from above him, and Harry groaned again. Damn, but this was bad! 

“I… I have to go…” He decided, but didn’t make much movement to back his statement, 

“Where are you going, you can barely stand.” Draco chuckled from the table, lying comfortably on his stomach with his head pillowed by his arms, watching as Harry struggled to get hold of himself and stand up. 

“This isn’t funny Draco!” Harry cried and winced at the pain shooting through his skull.

“Don’t get your knickers all in a twist, Potter; it was just a kiss,” Draco drawled and turned to his back, running his hands down his front, “I’m irresistible, it’s understandable…” Harry felt like he was about to retch, his stomach roiling and churning, 

“Fuck off, you started it!” He snarled and finally managed to rise to his feet. He wobbled on the spot for a bit before he could focus his eyes on the doors. Unsteadily and supporting himself on the big table he walked to the exit, and after a short struggle with the doorknob he was out of the Great Hall, leaving Draco behind him, still sprawled on the table and smiling benignly.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

****

JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Sixteen: I will survive  
(Title by Gloria Gaynor, album- Love Tracks)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


****

**Harry felt guilty. No, actually he was consumed with it; his insides were turning and twisting every time he remembered the shameful kiss. He hasn’t seen Draco since that night, and for that he was glad. He knew that things hadn’t really changed between them and that Draco wasn’t expecting anything from him but he still felt bad with himself.**

**He hadn’t meant to kiss back, he would never have had he been sober, but the lull of the booze and the fact that he was still hurt by Remus’ callus behaviour towards him were undoing him and now he was a cheater. A filthy little cheater who couldn't even keep his hands and lips to himself and if Remus left him over this it would be entirely Harry’s fault.**

**After two days of wallowing in his guilt and remorse he decided to tell Remus and be over with it. Harry had known for a long time that he was far too Gryffindor for his own good, with a healthy dash of Hufflepuff for good measure, I mean what the hell was the sorting hat babbling about Slytherin? His honest nature wouldn’t let him _not_ tell his boyfriend about this because he knew that either way he’d be fucked but he decided he wanted to at least be able to look Remus in the eyes even if the other boy would be cross with him. **

**“Hey gorgeous, where’ve you been hiding?” Harry nearly jumped out of his skin at the soft purring voice in his ear. He turned around slowly and smiled feebly at the grinning Remus. Since taking refuge in the library to avoid Remus wasn’t as easy as it was when he wanted to avoid Ron Harry choose to go the Quidditch pitch. For the last couple of days he spent quite a lot of time sitting in the freezing stands wrapped tightly with his winter cloak and watching the snow falling. But it seemed that his 48 hours of benevolence were over.**

**“Hi.” Harry managed to choke out. Deciding to tell Remus what happened was one thing, actually doing it was another thing altogether and frankly he had no idea how to even approach the subject. Remus sighed and sat down behind Harry, wrapping his arms around Harry and trying to share some body warmth. Harry couldn't help it, he leaned into the touch, if Remus was going to drop him after today, then at least he'll have some nice memories of their time together.**

**“Is everything alright? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Remus asked, trying not to succumb to the slight panicky feeling inside him,**

**“There’s something I need to tell you.” Harry said softly, eyes fixed straight ahead and jaw set. There wasn’t much point in delaying the inevitable.**

**“Sounds serious… What’s wrong?” That got Remus really worried; it wasn’t like Jaime to be so stiff and distant,**

**"IkissedAlexonNewYear'sEveandI'msosososososorry…" Harry blurted out, his face reddening with embarrassment and shame,**

**"I'm sorry I must have missed something here, what happened?" Remus could sense that his boyfriend was on edge here but he still needed to get the facts right,**

**"I kissed Alex." Harry whispered, feeling the tears welling in his eyes, and his whole face burning, despite the frozen weather outside. Remus' own breathing turned somewhat shallow, his jaw tightening and little spasms of muscles visible whenever he clenched his teeth,**

**"When?" Harry could hear the warmth sipping away from Remus' voice, although his arms never lessened their grip on him,**

**"New Year's Eve."**

**"When you and Alex went to have a little party at the Great Hall with a case of butterbeer and a bottle of firewhiskey?" When you were cross with me for not being able to say the words you so badly wanted to hear? Remus asked silently. He knew for a while now what it was that Jaime wanted from him, but he figured that he could avoid speaking the actual words if he just showed him how much he cared, he really hoped it would be enough for them but obviously he was wrong.**

**Remus didn't even know what was so hard about saying 'I love you' to someone, after all Jaime seemed to be doing a bang-on job with it, but the feelings and the meaning of them were still so new to Remus and he was scared, because no one ever loved him before and he never believed he could love someone.**

**"Yes." Harry's voice was so small that if Remus hadn't known the answer in advance he probably wouldn't hear him,**

**"I see." Harry buried his face in his hands, well, it's been good couple of months, he thought miserably and although I never got what I really wanted I had fun. Now we're going to be estranged and awkward around each other- oh joy… He really hated himself at that moment, for not being tougher, for not having the strength to stand up for what he wanted and what he needed, for letting the alcohol cloud his judgment and make him do things he never wanted to.**

**"I'm so so so sorry, Remus I would never have done it if I was sober…" He tried to plea, his eyes fixed in his lap, feeling the solid presence of Remus behind him but due to the number and thickness of layers between them he couldn’t really tell how stiff or relaxed Remus was.  
Remus lowered his head and put his forehead on Harry's shoulder, feeling at loss. **

**He wasn’t really mad at Jaime for kissing Alex, because if Jaime's state when he came back to the tower that night was any indication Remus was quite surprised that Jaime even remembered his own name, let alone one little kiss… but Jaime was thoughtful enough to tell him about it, guilty enough for it to mean anything and the truth was, Remus was honoured, he wasn't mad at Jaime for kissing Alex, he was elated that Jaime felt guilty which in turn made him feel a little guilty for being a bastard and feeling good when Jaime was obviously feeling bad.**

**"I know." He said quietly, hiding his smile in the folds of Harry's cloak.**

**"And I would understand if you never want to be with me again…" Harry chocked out, blinking rapidly and tensing. Remus' head jerked up, well if that wasn’t an unexpected turn of events…**

**“Whoa, hold on a second!” Remus cried, “Break up with you? Over what? A drunken kiss with a guy who’s exploring his sexuality?” He asked incredulously, was Jaime that insecure about their relationship that he’d be willing to toss it out the window the second that something bad happens? Harry turned to look at him, feeling a little warmer than he had in the last couple of days.**

**"You're not mad?" As much as Remus liked to think he'd be furious and threaten to march to the Slytherin common room and punch Alex's lights out, he was also a Gryffindor, an honest one to boot as well,**

**"Not really, no…" He gave Harry half a smile and Harry couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped his lips, he ran his frozen fingers over Remus' cheek and smiled,**

**"I'm really am sorry…"**

**"Yes, you said that a couple of times already." Harry smiled wide and kissed the tip of Remus' nose,**

**"You're really not mad?" He tentatively asked, one last time to be completely sure,**

**"Oh, I'm furiously mad! I think you deserve a punishment!" Remus cheerfully chuckled, and Harry punched him lightly in the arm. They snuggled closer together, feeling quite good with each other, "It's going to take a lot more than this to get rid of me, you know…"**

**"I hope so." Harry placed his head on Remus' shoulder, feeling like he could breathe a whole lot easier now that the crisis was over. As far as he was concerned the past couple of days from hell were well worth it because now his heart was light, guilt free and full of love again. Remus leaned in and pressed their lips together, brushing their freezing noses and cheeks together,**

**“Can we please go back in now? All my bits are frozen solid and if I stay outside any longer they’re bound to break off clean.” He complained, shivering with cold and the thought of his frost bitten bits, and Harry chuckled again.**

**“Oh, we wouldn’t want that to happen…” Harry said cheerfully and ran a gloved hand on the area of said bits. Remus shook his head and rose to his feet pulling Harry with him. Together they made their way back to the relative warmth of the castle, heading straight to the Room of Requirements to make sure all was well between them.  
**

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

The rest of the holidays went zooming by and before anyone was fully ready for it the rest of the students were back and the castle was filled with life again. Draco for one was nearly ecstatic about it, because ever since the New Year's Eve Harry's been avoiding him because of that stupid drunken kiss which meant that Draco was left all alone and friendless. Not that he had many of them anyway but at least he didn't have to listen to the eerie silence of the dungeons, feeling like a wandering ghost.

Harry on the other hand, was less pleased by the fact that once again he and Remus were forced to migrate to the Room of Requirements. During the holidays they finally managed to get to a satisfactory deal with Sirius to be left alone in exchange for Animagus lessons, but it was a lot harder to toss all three of their dorm-mates out. But as life in a big school often does everything settled back into a cosy rhythm quite quickly. The harsh weather outside hardly inspired anyone to step outside unless they absolutely had to and so the corridors were constantly full of students, ambling about and complaining of the cold. 

It’s been about two weeks since the beginning of the term and Harry still hasn’t faced Draco. At first it was inconvenience, because even though he patched up things with Remus it was still hard to look Draco in the eye, then it simply slipped Harry’s mind, especially when Lily’s 18th birthday loomed closer. The marauders who never missed a chance for a party decided to celebrate that important date as loudly as they could. That meant bullying everyone from sixth year down to stay in the dorms while the upper classes partied through the night. Alcohol and food and music were flowing from the tower until professor McGonagall herself had to drop in wearing a tartan night-robe, a sleeping-bonnet and a very cross expression to tell them off. 

The next morning Harry opened his groggy eyes, feeling as if a herd of angry centaurs decided to ran a stampede around his skull and a bunch of nifflers decided to poke around his tummy. He let himself get used to the fact that sadly he was awake before he tried to open his eyes again. Luckily this time the blurry shapes were beginning to make some sense. Not that that did him any good, when he found he was tightly wrapped around Sirius, on Sirius' bed while clad only in his boxers. Harry was trying to stifle the alarm growing inside him and looked around for any clues of what might have happened. From the fact that Sirius was fully dressed and that his own arse wasn't sore Harry deduced that he didn't have sex with the firmly heterosexual Sirius and for that he was glad. 

Further inspection showed that across from him, Remus was lying on his own bed, face down and buck naked with, strangely enough, a red bulls eye painted across his left butt-cheek. On the other side of the room he got a glimpse of Lily and James entwined on James' bed and the only part he could see of Peter was his feet pocking from under his bed. 

Harry groaned and started the head-splitting task of removing Sirius' limbs from him and getting up. He staggered to the bathroom, grabbed a towel and blindingly felt his way along the wall until he stumbled into one of the shower stalls. 

The hot water cascading down his naked back was a blessing, and Harry lowered his head, letting the jet massage his nape and shoulders when he saw his own chest. Across the bare chest and abdomen were marks, crudely painted lines and circles and swirls in an array of colours that made Harry's torso look like a human canvas. He turned around carefully to wash himself up, doing his best to keep his balance, when a warm pair of hands slid down his back. Harry tried to stifle a cry as a sleep and whiskey coated voice sounded in his ear, 

"Gods you're beautiful, just like this." Remus was leaning against his lover, pressing his body close to the other teen. 

"What the hell happened last night?" Harry groaned and turned in Remus' arms, leaning his back against the cold tile, 

"I'm not sure…" The two shared a small smile and Remus hands slid down Harry's torso, where the evident of colours was still fresh enough, "I think these are supposed to be edible colours," He said and bent down to run his tongue over Harry's nipple, causing the other to arch before he stood up again looking somewhat ill, "But then again, they might not be…" He complained loudly and stuck his tongue under the water stream. Harry sniggered and cupped Remus' face, bringing him in for a kiss. 

Together they washed each other from the paint residue, kissing and moaning and swirling in the tiny shower cubicle trying to stay under the hot spray the longest. 

"I'm hungry." Remus announced, "How about we nip down to the kitchen and ask the elves for some grab?" Harry felt his stomach churning at the mention of food, 

"How can you be hungry? I feel like I'm about to throw up all over the place and you think of food?" 

"Well, a growing boy can't survive on protein alone…" Remus said cheerfully and Harry covered his mouth in repulsion, 

"Ok, that was gross!" Remus smiled broadly and kissed Harry's wet hair, before turning the taps off. Harry snatched his towel and wrapped it around his waist, before stepping out and heading for the sinks. Remus followed him, rivulets of water cascading down his wet body, which was glistening in the steamy shower, completely unfazed by the fact that he was naked as the day he was born. 

"Oh, gods what a night…" Harry watched the disheveled form of Lily walking into the shower room yawning wide. Beside him he could feel Remus drawing near to him, trying to hide his naked form behind Harry. 

"Lily! What are you doing here?" Remus snapped at her, turning Harry slightly to make him into a human shield. Lily blinked at him owlishly before she looked around her, finally realizing she wasn’t in the girls' dorms. 

"Oh, oops." She said and strode into the room, completely ignoring the two flabbergasted boys and headed to the nearest sink. 

"Lily!" Remus cried out, but the girl didn't give any indication that she was going to leave, in fact she transfigured a piece of soap into a yellow and green stripped toothbrush. "At least throw me a towel!" He scolded. Lily sauntered to the large stack of white fluffy towels and threw one at Harry's head all the while brushing her teeth. Harry caught the towel a split second before it hit his face and passed it back to Remus. He could feel the wriggling behind him, indicating that Remus was putting the towel to good use but he couldn't tear his eyes away from his mother, standing there casually with her rumpled clothes and brushing her teeth like it's an ordinary day at the tower. 

Harry and Remus watched as Lily finished brushing her teeth and terminated the spell on the soap, before she yawned wide again and smiled sweetly at them. Without a word she left the bathroom behind and Harry felt like a spell was lifted off him. He made a quick job at cleaning his teeth and face and together with Remus he went back to the room, crawling into Harry's bed and tossing the towels on the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to hp-lexicon, Lily's birthday is on the 30.01.1960, but on January 1978 it falls on Monday so the big party actually took place on Saturday the 28th. Not extremely important, but still…


	17. Chapter Seventeen

****

JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Seventeen: Forgiven

..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..

"Hey." Draco lifted his head, his featured carefully schooled into a sneer. Harry was standing in front of him, looking sheepish and Draco couldn’t possibly pass on the opportunity to rub it in a little, after all it's been nearly a month since they last spoke, well, kissed…

"Hey yourself. Finally mustered up enough courage to face me?" Harry took a deep breath and tried to ignore the little voice in his head that kept pointing out that Draco was right to be angry while proclaiming Harry should smack that sneer of the ex-blond's face at the same time. 

"Yes." 

"Good, because it's been a bloody month in which I had to endure three Thursdays alone in the potions class with no booze and only a pile of pastries to keep me company. I've gain an entire ounce because of you! I hope you're happy!" Draco hissed in Harry's direction and the latter bit his lip and tried not to look too amused. 

“I’m sorry.” Harry just barely managed to keep the smile off his face because obviously Draco didn’t think it was funny, but come on… 

“You should be. You left me all alone to go and frolic with your little mates!” Draco huffed. “Don’t think I don’t know of that ‘party’ you had to which you didn’t even have the decency to invite me!” He crossed his arms over his chest indigently, and Harry rubbed his forehead in frustration, 

“It was Lily’s birthday! It was Gryffindor only…” He tried to reason with the stubborn Slytherin. “Look, Draco, I’m really sorry I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder this past month but… a lot happened, I…” Harry was lost for words, he really didn’t know how to come clean out of this, because it was his fault and Draco had every right to be mad and if he knew anything about Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin would milk this for all it was worth. 

“You told your wolf about the kiss didn’t you?” Harry’s eyes popped open in shock and his jaw dropped, was he that transparent that even his former enemy could read him so easily? But then again, Draco could probably read him better than even Ron and Hermione on any given day- after six years of dancing around each other one is bound to know things that most people miss. With the lack of something better to say Harry simply shrugged. “You Gryffindors are so obvious it’s not even funny.” Draco muttered, 

“Anyway, the point is, everything is alright…” Harry started with a brisk note, hoping to get to his point which was to ask for Draco’s help, but the latter didn’t seem to agree, 

“Oh, you think? Everything is fine? Well maybe in ignore-land, also known as the Gryffindor tower everything is fine and dandy but here in the ‘real world’ things are as far from being fine as you are from reality. Because while you and your boyfriend skip around holding hands like two pre-teen girls some of us have to deal with real things that happen!” Draco snapped, the month worth of rants finally getting its outlet, and boy did it feel good to finally be able to shout and bitch on things. 

“We don’t skip around holding hands…” Harry mumbled, quite taken back by the lashing he got for reasons, he suspected, that had little to do with him, 

“Whatever. My point is, you’ve been so busy with your little friends and you forgot all about me.” Harry sighed, it was true he did ignore Draco for longer than he probably should have but the worse part was that he did forget that Draco was not doing in Slytherin as well as he was doing in Gryffindor. 

“I’m sorry…” Harry mumbled again and wondered when did he became Draco’s keeper and best friend. In a way it felt good to have a best friend that knew where they’re from and all and if Draco was a wee bit less self-centred it might have been fun as well. 

“Yeah, well…” Draco sat heavily on one of the desks in the unused classroom they ended up in and wrapped his arms around himself, looking and feeling the epitome of misery, “I mean it great for you, you’ve got your parents here and everyone likes you, but me… I’m a social outcast simply because I said hello to the wrong person. And it’s not like Snape is the most social person around, you know…” 

“Yes I do know.” Harry chuckled softly. Poor Draco, no wonder he was so miserable, having only Snape to interact with can’t be that much fun… 

“I hate it here, I want to go home!” Draco slammed his fist on the table, the sound resonating through the still room and catching Harry by surprise, making him jump slightly. He stared at Draco in shock while the other teen seemed to crumble into himself and sagged to the floor gathering his knees to him and curling into a tight ball of misery. Harry worried his bottom lip for a moment, unsure of what to do and how to comfort Draco before he too sank to the floor and sat crossed legged in front of the Slytherin. He reached tentatively and touched Draco’s hair softly, hoping the other won’t flinch away from him. Harry was absolutely rubbish at consoling people as he was not often consoled himself. Draco lifted his head and turned his face away from Harry, 

“I’m ok.” 

“Look, I’m really sorry, and I promise not to shut you out again. Please?” Draco pretended to give it some thought before he straightened up and reached his hand forward, 

“Deal.” Harry shook his hand with a smile, bloody Slytherins- such high maintenance. Draco gave him half a smile, looking like he was about to say something but unsure of himself, at long last he sighed, “You want to stay don’t you?” Harry lifted his head in puzzlement, 

“What?” 

“You want to stay here… I don’t blame you, I mean you’ve got your mum and dad here and your wolf, why would you want to go back to the weasel and the mud-Granger?” Harry smiled a little at the new name for Hermione, then shook his head sadly,

“Even if I want to, I can’t stay, it’ll be too weird… what will I do, help my parents raise me?”   
“Yeah, who knows how much worse you’d turn out…” Draco giggled when Harry punched his arm, wrestling playfully to avoid the other teen’s fists. After a short scuffle the two ended up leaning against the wall, legs stretched comfortably before them, 

“Well, now that we dealt with this crisis… I need your help.” Harry said briskly, glad that he could finally get to what he’s been wanting to discuss in the first place, 

“Oh, you certainly do. This colour is atrocious on you.” Draco said smugly,

“What? No, that’s not what I need your help with. Besides, what’s wrong with this colour, I thought you’d appreciate green…” Harry was a little miffed at Draco’s critique of his wardrobe choices, well at least Draco couldn’t say anything about the size of the shirt since he borrowed this one from James and it was a perfect match, 

“This, my friend is not green, it’s sickly… swamp… something.” Draco gestured with his hand on the general direction of the shirt, avoiding touching it as if the colour would sip to his fingers and taint them, 

“It’s called olive green, you lackwit!” Harry snapped, 

“Well, it makes you look like a toad.” Harry rubbed his face tiredly, focus, he reminded himself, 

“Fine, whatever. Remus’ birthday is coming up and I don’t know what to get him.” The words certainly caught Draco by surprise, 

“You want me to tell you what to get your wolf of a boyfriend for his birthday?" He asked almost incredulously, it wasn’t a big surprise to find out that the mighty and grand Harry Potter was completely clueless and incompetent when it came to buying gifts for loved ones, but Draco was quite shocked that in spite of having practically an entire seventh year Gryffindor at his disposal he still chose to come to his former enemy. 

"I just need a couple of ideas…" Harry mumbled, feeling a little put out that Draco was making fun of him. He really did need help, ever since he discovered that Remus' birthday was going to be on the 10th of March- a mere month from now and he had absolutely no idea what to get him.  
This was the first time he had to shop for someone he was in love with and the last thing he wanted was to screw this up. 

“Hmm, what to get a werewolf…” Draco mused loudly, “How about a flea collar?” 

“Not funny!” Harry grumbled and Draco rolled his eyes. He jumped to his feet and started pacing the room trying to think, this was quite a conundrum… If Remus was a girl he’d just tell Harry to buy him a nice piece of jewellery and be done with it but boys are not into jewellery, right? But then again, when it comes to gays, who knows… 

“Get him a ring or something, who knows he might even say he loves you.” 

“Or run to the hills screaming…” Harry crossed his legs and picked at some loose strings in his jeans. 

“I thought that what you wanted.” Draco carefully sat back down next to Harry, looking at the brunet’s forlorn expression, 

“I’ve already given up on that. I mean I know he loves me, I guess he’ll just say it in his own time.” Yeah, right, Snape is more likely to wear a tutu and dance on the head table before that would happen! 

“How very mature…” Draco drawled, knowing that Harry didn’t believe his own words more than he did, but he didn’t want to antagonise Harry further, not when he finally got him back on his side. “What about a wolfsbane potion… I bet he’d bond with you on the spot if you give him that.” Harry sighed deep, 

“That would have been the best gift ever, if I had any idea how to make the bloody thing. I’m pants when it comes to potions…” 

“Yeah, I know.” Draco answered cheerfully. “I guess it would be a problem. The only one I know who can brew this thing is Snape and I doubt he can do it now.”

“Exactly, and there’s no point in asking Slughorn.” The two sank into silence again, each absorbed in his thoughts. Draco’s mind was wandering off, not particularly interested in Harry’s problem anymore- after all he was pretty sure that Lupin would love anything Harry gave him, it was just Harry who was over thinking things. 

“So… How’re things with you and Reg?” Harry asked tentatively after a while, when the silence was too much for him and he deduced that he won’t be getting any more help from Draco. 

“Ok, I guess.” Draco answered non-committal. He really didn’t feel like talking about Regulus Black right now, not without the aid of several bottle of butterbeer anyway. 

“Look, Draco, you don’t have to go out with him just to prove some point or other…” Harry said reasonably, knowing full well that if he and Remus will push hard enough Draco would even go all the way just to prove he can, 

“I’m not trying to prove any point, it might come as a surprise to you because who Reg’s brother is, but he is actually a really nice person and quite fun to have around.” Harry decided to ignore the Sirius jibe for now, 

“So you really are going to have sex with him? You didn’t already, did you?” After all, Draco was trying to decide if he liked boys or girls, and Harry supposed he’d have to start from some point… 

”No, I haven’t slept with him and I’m not going to.” 

“Because you still love Parkinson?” 

“Because he’s my second cousin.” Harry’s jaw dropped in shock, shit, what a miscalculation… 

“Umm, well, oops.” He shrugged and grinned guiltily. Draco shook his head in amusement, 

“Yes, clearly you and your wolf are the stuff matchmakers are made of. Please don’t try to set me again, or I’ll end up in a sordid love triangle with my aunt and my dog.” Harry chuckled and tried not to blush in shame, 

“Hey, speaking of your aunt, I found out who Mandy is…” He told Draco with bright eyes, 

“Snape’s Mandy?” 

“Yup, apparently it’s Mrs. Andromeda Tonks.” Draco stared at him in complete shock, looking like his jaw would fall off its hinges any moment. After a full minute of silence Harry was starting to feel a little uneasy, 

“Draco?” This seemed to snap Draco from his shock and he sprang to his feet and started pacing again, 

“What? The nerve of… I cannot believe… I… I…” He tossed his hand in the air, completely lost for words. Harry, who was trying very hard not to laugh, managed to cover that up with a small cough, 

“Why is it such a big deal, it’s not like they’re doing anything, I bet she doesn’t even know he fancies her.” 

“That’s not the point, he shouldn’t lust after any of my relatives!”

“Why do you even care, she’s the aunt your family shunned because she married a muggle!” Harry cried back, still not able to understand why Draco was so pissed over that. 

“Then he’s lusting over a blood-traitor, that’s even worse!” Harry rolled his eyes, when Draco got into one of his moods it was better to just let him run out steam. 

“Whatever.” He mumbled and returned to pick on the loose strings of his jeans, a job been made much easier by the fact the trousers were frayed to begin with. He could hear Draco pacing, his shoes clacking on the stone floor but he refused to acknowledge the other teen’s tantrum. Eventually Draco seemed to have paced himself to acceptance and he slumped against the wall, sliding to a sitting position on the floor, 

“Feeling better?” Harry asked with a smile,

“Yes. I decided I will hex Snape with a penis shrinking hex, that’ll teach him a few things.” 

“Well, as long as you’re happy.” Harry concluded and they both snickered at each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The age of maturity in my fic is 17, just like in the original books, the reason Harry is making such a fuss about Remus’ birthday is because he knows he won’t have another one to celebrate with him while in the seventies, and besides, it’s the first time he gets to celebrate a boyfriend’s birthday and that’s why he’s so stressed. 
> 
> Remus is an alpha male, he’s not going to bottom, at least I don’t think he will. It’s not that he has a particular problem with it he just prefers not to. Lucky for him Harry is not really the type to top, he needs to be taken care of, according to Grace’s theory from ‘Will and Grace’, Harry is a flower not a gardener.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you’ve all been anticipating the birthday chapter but the thing is, I wrote this before I notice that Harry and Draco weren’t talking, and I had to go back and make things right, so this chapter was shoved down a bit, and that’s why you’re getting it now- it’s pretty much pure fluff…

****

JADED

  
**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Eighteen: Love as red as flame**  
(Title from ‘A woman left lonely’, by Janis Joplin, Album ‘Pearl’)

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**   


February arrived all breezing and freezing bringing everyone's spirits down. The passing of the shortest month of the year brought with it a new development in the relationship of Harry and Remus, when the werewolf tentatively asked if Jaime could be there for him when the full moon went down. That Thursday night, the 23ed of February was one of the coldest ones remembered on the Scottish highlands, or so the reports said.

Harry could definitely see their point, standing in the dead of night next to the Whomping Willow, wrapped up in his cloak, scarf, mittens and hat under his invisibility cloak and still shivering like mad, waiting for the moon to finally set. He was early, and he knew it but he didn't really care at the moment. He watched the moon sailing through the night sky, already nearly touching the horizon but to Harry it seemed like hours until the pale orb would set completely. The branches of the Willow were swaying softly in the still air, as if the giant tree was dancing, an eerie, creaking dance that made Harry gulp. 

The minutes ticked off, the moon lowering, at half mast already and Harry started to bounce on the balls of his feet, desperately wanting to reach out and force the moon down with his hands. He never hated the moon as much as he did now, the stupid satellite that was separating him from his lover. Not wanting to waste any unnecessary second Harry already had a large branch in his hand, waiting for the moment he could press the knob at the base of the tree trunk. 

The marauders were not there tonight, as per Remus' request, but they didn't care too much as it was far too cold to wonder outside, fur clad or not. Harry was the only fool staying outside in the middle of the night, waiting for the bloody moon to set! He contemplated going to see Hagrid, the dark-golden light spilling from his windows looked so inviting and promised warmth and hot tea (and probably a rock cake or two but right now Harry was willing to endure them as long as it meant he could sit next to the merry fire while pretending to eat them), but even though he knew Hagrid would be pleased to see him no matter what the hour was (or year, since the seventies version of Hagrid was just as friendly as Harry remembered, albeit slightly thinner and more hairy), it was still very rude of him to wake the half-giant up for a cuppa at three a.m. 

Harry watched the moon again; three-quarters lodged into the ground already and gritted his teeth. Inch by torturing inch the moon disappeared behind the dark horizon until only a the thin pick of its crown showed and a moment later that was gone as well, 

"About bloody time!" Harry scoffed and shook his frozen limbs into action, balancing the pole in his hand to press against the gnarly knob of wood. The tree above him froze solid, looking just as innocent as any other tree in the vicinity, and Harry quickly slipped into the little opening at the base of the trunk. He made his way through the tunnel as swiftly as his cold-aching limbs would allow feeling rather strange as he hadn't made this journey since he was in third year.   
He carefully pushed the trap door, trying to remember the layout of the shack; now that the light of the moon was gone the place was so dark he couldn't see where he was going. Harry cast a soft 'Lumos' trying to keep the light at bare minimum, since the place was so eerily quiet it felt wrong to turn on his light full force. He tried to step as lightly as possible though every step made the floorboards creak and his heart launch to his mouth. 

When he finally made it upstairs, feeling exhausted as if he's flown for three days straight he pushed the old rickety door and peered inside. Unlike in his days of Hogwarts the place wasn't as ran down and dusty as it had been, it wasn't the Ritz of course but the big bed in the middle of the room and the sofa next to the hearth were still rather untouched and the room was dust free. Harry looked on the bed, where Remus was lying fast asleep, his face pale and pained looking, making Harry's heart cringe. Remus looked so young against the white sheets, so vulnerable.

Harry quickly made his way to the bed and shed his cloaks and other winter gear, climbing into the bed in his pyjamas. He snuggled to Remus' body, feeling the other teen shivering slightly, whether from his transformation's aftershocks or the cold Harry couldn't tell. Remus stirred a little rubbing his face on Harry's chest, slowly coming to, 

"You came…" He whispered hoarsely, and Harry smiled softly, 

"Of course I did." Harry kissed the top of Remus' head gently, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. Even though Remus was gone back to sleep as soon as he found a comfortable position for his head Harry didn't care. Tonight was special, because not once in his seven years at this school did Remus let anyone see him right after his transformation, at his most vulnerable and fragile state. And Harry knew that and he was proud, damn near bursting with pride at the privilege he's been given. It didn't matter anymore if he never got to hear the words, the feeling was there and that was what Harry wanted, to know that Remus loved him just as much as he loved him and by allowing Harry to come tonight, asking him to come spoke volumes of how Remus felt. 

Now that he was warm and comfortable and that he knew first handed that Remus was alright Harry let himself succumb to sleep, the slow rising and falling of his mate's chest lulling him into peaceful slumber.

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Remus' eyes fluttered open, the soft rays of the dawning sun casting slanted shadows over the white sheets. Never in all his years as a werewolf has he woken feeling so… good after a full moon. His body was still sore, muscles still protesting at every move, but his heart was light and his head was clear and that was all thanks to Jaime.

Remus turned his head to look at his beautiful lover, sleeping peacefully by his side. He was glad he asked Jaime to come here tonight. Actually he's been contemplating asking Jaime for a while now, but he didn’t think he was ready, but now, now he was. Now he wanted it, with everything that was him and his. 

Remus propped his head on his hand, just looking, it always amazed him just how beautiful Jaime was. The features were far too delicate to be manly handsome but that was what made Jaime all the more desirable. His lips were full and begging to be kissed, his nose straight and strong yet small enough to be unobtrusive, and his eyes, whenever they were open were the most amazing part of Jaime, bright and clear and full of life, even behind those silly glasses he wore. Their colour was greenish-blue, and they seemed to change their hue with his emotions- bluer when he was upset and sad and greener when he was happy. Remus would do anything to see those eyes turn leaf-green to rival Lily's. 

He ran a soft finger over the prominent cheekbone and Harry stirred softly, trying to avoid the touch, and Remus smiled. He leaned forward and brushed his lips on Harry’s cheek, feeling the other boy slowly waking up. 

Harry didn’t really want to open his eyes, to acknowledge the world because that meant that he would have to leave soon. He was suppose to be out of the Shrieking Shack by the time Madame Pomfrey came to collect Remus so that he would not create unwanted problems. He sighed softly when he felt Remus’ lips and fingers on his face, wanting nothing more to sink into the touch while wishing the other would stop so that he could sleep some more and forget about time. 

“Mornin’.” Harry mumbled and blinked at the light. Remus smiled bright and stretched carefully, pulling Harry’s thigh in between his legs, 

“Mornin’ yourself, how did you sleep?” 

“Isn’t that suppose to be my question to you?” Harry turned to his side, cupping Remus’ face and brushing his thumb against the high cheekbone. Remus shrugged, 

“I’m ok,” He said curtly, not quite intending to open up the subject. “But I might be even better…” He purred suggestively, but Harry interrupted him with a finger on his lips, 

“No, you won’t. I’m not going to be responsible for you feeling even worse this morning.” He said in a tone of finality and Remus pouted, 

“I bet I could… rise to the occasion…” 

“I bet you could. I’m not going to test it.” Harry rolled to his back and crossed his arms to indicate the subject was closed. Remus stuck his tongue out on him before rolling to his back as well, after a long moment of silence Harry sighed and sat up in the bed, “I guess I should get going, Madame Pomfrey would probably be here any second…” He said sadly, 

“No, she won’t be here for at least two more hours, she’s not an early riser.” Remus stretched carefully and closed his eyes, smiling slightly when he felt Harry snuggling by his side again. 

“Good.” Harry murmured and burrowed under the covers again, seeking to regain the warmth that sipped away when he sat up. 

“So… tell me a little about yourself.” Harry turned his head to look at his boyfriend, raising his eyebrows, “What? You said we can’t shag…” Remus shrugged defensively, “Besides, Peter asked me the other day whether you’re a pure-blood or not and I didn’t know what to tell him.” 

“I’m not pure-blood. Does it bother you?” Remus shook his head, “My dad’s a pure-blood but my mum’s a muggle-born.” 

“Like Lily?” Harry tried to hide his smile, 

“Yup, exactly like Lily.” 

“So, what kind of kid were you, where did you grow up, what was it like?” Harry bit his lip with frustration, unable to answer any of these questions, but at lost as to how to get himself out of the sticky situation without sounding like he was withholding information,

“Why don’t you tell me how you got bitten?” He said at last with a sly smile. Remus opened his mouth to protest and snapped it shot, 

“Fine, I get it. No more talking.” He looked at the ceiling, tapping his finger against the covers, “What the hell are we going to do for two hours if we can’t talk and we can’t shag?” Harry chuckled and turned to his side, 

“Roll over and face me.” He said and Remus complied, curious to see what they were about to do. “Follow my lead.” Harry smiled and slipped his hand into Remus’ pyjamas, fingers closing on warm flesh. Remus wriggled a little to get more comfortable and copied Harry’s movement, grabbing the other teen’s twitching cock. Slowly they slid their hands, up and down each other’s shafts, teasing from the sensitive head to the hair-covered base. Remus leaned forward and captured Harry’s lips in a hungry kiss, feeling his muscles protesting slightly but completely unwilling to stop the pleasure he was receiving. 

It wasn’t the best hand-job in the history of hand-jobs for either of them, it was an awkward angle that pretty much guaranteed sore wrists when all was over but neither of them cared about it right now, because it was far too good to stop. Harry could feel the climax building slowly in his gut, spiralling and making his head light. He buried his head in Remus’ shoulder, biting the flesh without realizing he was doing so and came all over his lover’s hand. Remus’ felt his orgasm being pulled from him by the combination of sudden pain to his shoulder and the hand around his cock tightening, he tossed his head back and bit his lip hard, emptying himself blissfully. 

The two lay together panting for a while, trying to over come the rush of blood in their veins. After a while Harry cast a cleaning charm on them both and tucked them back into their pyjamas. Now more than before he was ready for a good cuddle, and so he spelled his wand to wake him up in an hour or so. By the time he finished arranging everything Remus was already fast asleep again. Harry smiled at his sleeping beauty and copied him. 

A nagging vibration near his ear was nearly driving him mad and Harry turned and clamped his hand over the intruding object, groggily opening his eyes to find it was his wand that was causing so much trouble. It took Harry a moment or two to realize he was not in his bed or Remus’ bed in the Gryffindor tower but in the Shrieking Shack and another minute to register that it was he himself who set his wand to vibrate so that he could clear off before Madame Pomfrey showed up. 

Harry glanced to his side, making sure that Remus was still asleep and regretfully slid out of the warm bed. He quickly collected his belongings donning the winter gear on and finally wrapped himself with the invisibility cloak. He knew that he should be leaving now, going back to the tower so that no one would know that he’d spent half the night out of his dorm but he didn’t have the heart to leave Remus until he knew the other boy was alright, so Harry perched himself on the dingy sofa on the other side of the room to wait. 

He must have dozed off because suddenly a loud bang made him jump up and he discovered that his invisibility cloak had slipped off his shoulders. Harry quickly adjusted the shimmering fabric and not a moment too soon because the next minute the matron stepped in, wrapped in a heavy winter cloak and rubbing her gloved hands together briskly. Harry watched as she first cast several spells on the sleeping werewolf, humming to clicking her tongue, before she gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, cooing softly, 

“Remus, wake up dear.” Remus turned slowly and rubbed his fist over his eyes, yawning wide before he opened his eyes. He looked disoriented and so damn sweet that Harry nearly went over to kiss him. He knew that Remus would be quite surprised to find the bed empty and the matron above him but he didn’t really have the heart to wake him just to say he was going to await Madame Pomfrey on the sofa. 

“Wassgoinon?” Remus muttered, feeling the aches and sores settling back in, now that there was no Jaime around to distract him, plus a new little pang of disappointment that Jaime hasn’t even bothered to tell him goodbye. 

“Let’s go back to the infirmary dear, it’s much warmer and cosier there.” The old matron said kindly and Remus nodded, having to go through the ordeal each and every full moon for the last seven years. He rose slowly, joints and muscles protesting at each move and put on his jacket, shivering slightly now that he was no longer under the warm blankets. Madame Pomfrey wrapped a warm and light blanket around his shoulders and led the way to the door, with Remus drudging behind her. 

Harry slipped silently from the sofa and padded softly after the two. He was glad that Madame Pomfrey decided to let Remus walk on his own since it meant that Harry could slid behind him and grab his hand from under the cloak. Remus’ heart gave a little squeeze of fear and surprise when cool fingers interlaced with his own, but a second later he squeezed them back, a slow smile spreading over his face- it had been a good moon after all.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

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JADED

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..oo00oo..

Chapter Nineteen: Chocolate sun

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March was the Marauders’ favourite month of the year. Not only did it signal the lessening of winter’s evil clutches but it also brought many joyous occasions, naming the birthdays of Remus and James. Everyone in the castle knew that this was the best time to suck up to the Marauders in hopes to score an invite to the best party of the year. Normally the list was rather short and exclusive, since the party was usually held in the Gryffindor common room which had it’s capacity limits, but this year Remus suggested they throw the party at the Room of Requirement, which meant more space, more people and thus more fun.

Seventeen days separated the birth dates of Remus and James and therefore the party was traditionally scheduled to the halfway mark, after taking into account the state of the full moon of course, this year party fell on the 17th of March, a week from the full moon to allow Remus to make the most of his own party. 

After consulting with people on the subject of a gift for Remus (meaning Lily of course) Harry finally made his mind about what he would get his wolf. A couple of snick trips to Hogsmede and he was ready for the big day. Remus, on his part, knew that something was going on, since Jaime seemed to be extra sneaky these past couple of days, whispering in corners with Lily and monopolizing James’ cloak. With each day going past Remus became more and more excited, little happy bubbles building in his gut in anticipation for what his boyfriend had in store for him. 

Remus woke up on the morning of his birthday feeling exceptionally good with himself. He was going to have a big party next week, with loads and booze and food, and more importantly he was going to have a private celebration with Jaime tonight- Who said turning 18 was a bitch?   
He barely managed to get his good morning kiss when the curtains were yanked back and all the rest of the boys in the room jumped on his bed yelling ‘Happy birthday’. Harry groaned in pain at the combined weight of Sirius and James on his legs but Remus laughed merrily, 

“So, what are you planning tonight? Hot sex in that Requirements room of yours?” Sirius asked with a blinding smile, 

“If we are, you’re not invited.” Remus told him with an equally wide grin,

“Well, if you are then I’m glad not to be invited.” The other boys were snickering while Remus and Sirius were engaged in a staring contest. At long last James decided to call off the party, 

“Come on guys, we need to get ready for school.” Sirius, Peter and James jumped from the bed and started bustling around the room to get ready for the day. Remus watched them for a bit before turning to his bed partner. Harry’s eyes were fixed on his boyfriend, and he leaned in for a good-morning kiss. 

“Happy birthday.” Remus felt himself blushing a little, never having received a birthday kiss like that before, 

“Thank you. You look a little pained.” He noted when Harry shifted a little stiffly, 

“Yeah, well, you try having both James and Sirius jumping up and down on your legs… I bet they’re broken in at least four places.” Harry pouted and complained, his legs did feel sore although not for too long, he suspected, 

“Oh, you poor thing,” Remus cooed in sympathy and kissed Harry’s forehead, “Are you going to stay in bed and recuperate?” 

“Only if you stay here with me.” Harry snuggled closer to his lover, feeling quite warm and happy with the world, 

“I’d love to, but I can’t. Something tells me that I better stay detention-free tonight…” Remus said with a sly smile, to which Harry replied with a carefully puzzled expression, 

“Why is that?” Remus opened and closed his mouth several times, quite deflated. From some reason there was no spark of mischief in Harry’s eyes and that worried Remus a little, 

“Um, I just… I mean… I… I thought…” Harry bit his lip and grabbed Remus’ face, unable to resist kissing the confused pout on his lips, 

“You know, you’re kind of cute right now…” He mumbled against the other boy’s lips, before pulling back with a big smile, “Tell you what, you go and be a good boy and I’ll see you after dinner in the Room of Requirements.” Remus nearly sagged with relief when he realized Harry was pulling his leg, 

“Ok.” He chirped before he jumped out of the bed to get ready for what promised to be a very long day.

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Throughout the day, people came to wish Remus happy birthday, ex-lovers, ex study partners, and just random people who liked him enough to wish him good. Remus walked the entire day on cloud nine, feeling like he was getting lighter and floating higher with every person who smiled at him. This was definitely the best birthday he ever had, and the best part wasn’t even here yet!

The biggest surprise of the day, as far as Remus was concerned was the fact that Snape came to pay his congratulations. Of course, he didn’t come willingly but was dragged muttering darkly under his breath by Alex who looked far too amused by the whole ordeal. Remus tried to keep his smile hidden as to not end up cursed by the snarky Slytherin. It wasn’t that he had any issue with Snape unlike his friends but other than schoolwork related conversations the two hadn’t shared much. 

Secretly Remus was pleased, because he always admired Snape’s ability to simply stroll to the head of almost any class’ marks list with such ease, something that irked not only his friends but a lot of other students as well (mostly Ravenclaws it seemed), and the studious Remus appreciated the intelligence of others. Plus, knowing that he didn’t hate Snape always annoyed Sirius and James and having those two knocked down a couple of pegs was never a bad thing.   
By lunch time Remus was starting to feel impatient. He felt like time itself was plotting against him, by refusing to get dinner any closer. Weren’t the Time Lords aware of the fact that he was in for what no doubt would be one of the best night of his life? So unfair… 

The afternoon classes dragged like never before, even Defence against the Dark Arts, that was usually his favourite class, was stretching out like a well chewed gum. Remus stared at his professor, his mind miles away from the topic of dementors, already with Jaime in the Room of Requirement. 

“Come on Moony, it’s dinner time, and although I know it’s not the food that has you drooling, you’ll probably need your strength for later…” The ever so eloquent and smooth Sirius was smirking and Remus sighed, wiping his mouth with his sleeve and glaring at his gloating friend, 

“Yes, well, at least I’ll need my strength for something later, unlike the rest of you pathetic singles.” He retorted and left the class with his head held high against the laughter and cat-calls of his friends. 

A short dinner later, in which Remus poked at his food more than eating it he finally, finally made his way to the seventh floor, feeling giddy and nearly bouncing on the spot waiting for the staircase to change. He no longer cared if Jaime didn’t bring him a present or not, because all he wanted was to see the other boy, after he managed to elude Remus the entire day. Oh, Jaime was present in class alright, but he chose to sit with Alex on this particular day, taunting Remus with his proximity and yet distance. 

When he finally stood in front of the wall of the Room of Requirement Remus was having a moment of hesitation, he wasn’t sure if he should pace in front of the door or if he should just wait for the door to appear on its on, but his inner struggle was short lived when suddenly a door materialized from the wall and was opened, Harry’s face peering around the wood, 

“Well, don’t just stand there like a potted plant, get in.” He invited with a smile and opened the door wider for Remus to slip in. 

Remus looked around him, curious to see what sort of décor Jaime had in mind. After the rock-pool Remus was almost disappointed to find the room looking rather ordinary, with a big bed against the back wall and a sofa in front of a merry fire, he did notice with glee that the little coffee table in front of the fire was covered with bawls all carrying sweets. Before he could comment on the looks of the room, Harry stepped next to him and grabbed his hand, leading them both to the sofa. 

“I’ve got a present for you.” Harry was feeling a little nervous, but tried not to show it, because it was Remus’ birthday and he just wanted everything to be perfect. And the way Remus was looking at him made him stir and nearly squirm on the spot with self-consciousness and arousal. 

“You didn’t have to get me anything…” Remus said with a soft smile, it was true, he didn’t need a present per-se but he was thrilled that he was going to get one all the same, 

“Of course I did, it’s your birthday.” Harry said reasonably, and Remus shrugged, accepting the argument. Harry pulled out a small box from his pocket and placed it in Remus’ hand, taking a deep breath and twiddling his fingers together in anticipation to see what Remus would do with it. 

Remus looked at the box, wrapped in a cheerful and sparkly red paper and topped with a white bow, he was pretty sure it was Lily who advised Jaime on wrapping etiquette, but it didn’t really make a difference. The box was rather light, and he wondered what could be small and light enough to fit inside. He carefully pulled the bow, unwrapping it slowly, savouring every second of opening his gift. Even as a kid Remus never tore open his presents, but opened them as slowly as he could before his parents would lose patience and rush him to it. Luckily for Harry, this present was small enough for the unwrapping to end in under a minute. 

The box lay bare in Remus’ hands, white and unassuming and Remus couldn’t wait any longer. He opened it, revealing a wooden pendant, about an inch and a half in diameter, its surface smooth and polished, gleaming warm in the firelight. On the pendant was painted in black ink, the face of a wolf, the lines smooth and delicate creating a striking image. Two tiny shards of jade completed the look to make the wolf’s eyes. Remus stared at the beautiful pendant and felt a lump forming in throat and tears prickling in the back of his eyes. No-one ever gave him something so… 

“You like it?” Harry was beyond nervous now, he was feeling anxious. His leg was twitching as he tried to contain his inner turmoil. The longer Remus stared at his present and didn’t say a word the more Harry was sure he was trying to ease him into the disappointment of not liking the gift, 

“It’s beautiful… “Remus whispered to the little medallion, not knowing what to say. He lifted his head and stared into the storm that was taking the oceans that were Jaime’s eyes, “I love it.” Harry sagged visibly and smiled shakily, and Remus leaned in and caught his lips in a slow kiss, “Thank you.” He took the leather cord that was threaded through the wood and tied the ends behind his neck, displaying the wolf’s head proudly, 

“There was this travelling-gypsy-vendor guy in Hogsmede that was making the most beautiful things. At first I thought of getting you something in silver but that would be a little insensitive of me,” Harry explained sheepishly, without even being asked, he was just so relieved Remus liked his present he started to babble, “So I asked him to paint this for me, well for you.” Remus ran his fingers over the smooth surface of the wood again, feeling the warmth seeping through to his fingers, “There’s a preservation charm on it to protect it from water and such and I put protection charms on it as well, so you’ll always be happy and safe.” 

“Thank you.” Remus whispered, truly and completely amazed by this. It was clear that a lot of thought was put into this gift and he loved it more than he could express in words. 

“Well, there’s another thing.” Harry licked his suddenly dry lips, 

“Another present?” Remus’ eyes lit up like a little child’s and Harry smiled, you could say it was another present… 

“Close your eyes.” He instructed and Remus complied instantly, excitement bubbling inside. He heard Harry move from his side, assuming the other teen went to bring his other present, but for a long time noting happened and Remus squeezed his eyes tighter so he won’t give into the temptation of peeking, “Can I look now?” 

Instead of a verbal answer there came a happy yip. Remus’ eyes flew open in shock, and he blinked several times at the beautiful dark-grey wolf standing before him. His hands went over to his pendant, fingers running over the jade stones encased into the wood, and suddenly it all made sense. 

Remus slid from the sofa to the rug, beckoning the wolf to him, too shocked to say anything. Seff padded towards Remus, looking a bit coy, if that was possible. Remus sieved his fingers through the soft fur, biting his lip, 

“You did this for me?” He whispered hoarsely and Seff yipped again. Remus grabbed a handful of fur in each hand and buried his face in the wolf’s neck, unable to hold the tears anymore. The next second he felt the arms of his lover carefully circling him and he hugged back with force, his whole being overwhelmed with emotions. 

“Happy birthday love.” Harry whispered, his heart so full he felt his chest constricting. 

“Thank you, thank you so much.” Remus mumbled into his shoulder and Harry smiled, caressing the back of Remus’ head lovingly, 

“You’re welcome. I love you.” 

“Me too.” Harry blinked in shock, carefully pulling away from Remus, so that he was able to look into the shining golden eyes, 

“What did you say?” Remus chuckled and sniffed a bit, blinking his tears away, 

“I know I probably should have said it earlier, and I really appreciate you’ve been so patient with me and my issues but I love you. I really do love you and I’m so privileged and honoured to have you in my life…” Harry didn’t even care what else Remus might have to say, because he just got the best gift he could ever receive and that was all he needed. He tackled Remus to the floor, peppering his face with happy, sloppy kisses. Remus was a little taken aback with his boyfriend’s enthusiasm but soon brought himself round to join in the kissing fest. 

“Can we move this to the bed, this floor is breaking my back.” Remus panted when he could finally squeeze in a word and Harry jumped to his feet, pulling his wolf with him and bounded happily to the bed, shedding clothes on his way there. 

Remus watched him with a happy grin, he would never tire of watching his boyfriend disrobe. He watched as Harry jumped on the bed, balancing himself on his knees naked, displaying his body for Remus’ pleasure, 

“Are you coming?” 

Remus grinned again and nodded. He scooped a bowl from the table, full to the brim with the Honeyduke’s finest dark chocolate and made his way to the bed in a leisure pace, loosening his tie as he went, his eyes never leaving the hungry orbs of his lover. He placed the bowl carefully on the nightstand before he turned to he important mission of disrobing himself. 

“What’s with the chocolate?” Harry asked breathlessly as Remus finally joined him in bed only to turn his attention back to the chocolate he brought, 

“You’ll see.” Remus answered cheerfully. He took his wand from where he’d placed it on the nightstand and tapped the rim of the bowl with it. In seconds the chocolate melted to a rich brown creamy paste. Remus then turned to his waiting lover and smiled, 

“On your back.” He ordered and Harry rolled to his back, spreading his legs wide. Remus took a moment to apprise his human canvas before he dipped his index finger in the chocolate and brought it to Harry’s chest. Harry watched fascinated as Remus drew a circle around his left nipple, the warm chocolate causing his skin to shiver. Engulfed with the rich scent of chocolate and the nimble fingers working over his body Harry closed his eyes, letting his body and mind succumb to the pleasure. 

Remus’ tongue was pocking out of the corner of his mouth in his concentration. He was working slowly, savouring the way his chocolate coated fingers ran smoothly over the pale skin beneath him. Damn, but this was a good idea, he thought smugly to himself. 

“There, done.” He concluded proudly after a while and leaned back over Harry’s thighs to appreciate his work. Harry’s eyes fluttered open and he looked down at himself. His chest was covered with bold strokes of chocolate, in a pattern which, after a careful examination turned out to be two suns, one around each nipple and another chocolate sun around his naval, the little golden piercing glinting in the middle of it. 

“Suns?” Harry asked in a tone that suggested that Remus could do a lot better and the werewolf huffed and crossed his arms, 

“Yes, suns.” He held his head high challenging Harry to say more, but the latter simply chuckled and brought his finger to his chest in the intention of tasting the chocolate but Remus slapped his hand away, waving his finger at him. He took the little bowl and put it next to Harry’s thigh before he slid lower over his lover’s body and dipped his finger in the chocolate again, this time painting a spiral going up from the base of Harry’s hard cock to the slit on the tip. Harry let out a deep groan, tossing his head back and fisting the sheets. 

“Hmm, I wonder if we can use this as lubricant?” Remus mused loudly and Harry snapped his eyes open, 

“Don’t you dare!” He growled lowly and Remus gave him a cheeky grin before he grabbed the tube he willed to appear on the nightstand, coating his fingers quickly. He lowered his head and took a moment to inhale the scent of his lover laced with the chocolate, a totally intoxicating and arousing mixture in Remus’ eyes. His tongue darted out to collect the pre-come that was gathering at the head and the taste of it with the chocolate was sending him to new heights.   
Remus sucked his lover slowly, licking and nipping to get all the chocolate from Harry’s cock, while Harry was writhing above him, his hands tangled in Remus’ hair. 

Remus could assess his partner’s reactions by the pulling and tugging of his hair, and he nearly gagged on a giggle when Harry’s fingers tightened on his scalp as the first finger slipped in. Harry knew he was close, the combined stimulation of his cock by Remus’ mouth and his prostate by Remus’ fingers were undoing him fast. He arched his back and with a strangled cry he exploded inside his lover’s mouth. Remus was doing his best to take it all in, licking his lips and the softening flesh with much gusto. 

He crawled back up to Harry’s face to share the taste with him, kissing his ebony-haired lover long and hard. When Remus pulled back Harry smacked his lips together with satisfaction, 

“Mmm, chocolate and spunk, they make the best combination.” Remus chuckled, no objections here… He kissed his boyfriend again, then slowly started making his way down Harry’s body, licking off his carefully painted suns methodically. Harry watched with a lazy smile, feeling warm and docile in his after glow, simply enjoying Remus’ tongue all over his chest and stomach. He closed his eyes and stuck one hand behind his head while threading the fingers of the other in Remus’ tawny hair, feeling his whole body relax and himself being washed slowly to the shores of sleep-land. A sharp bite to his right nipple brought Harry back to reality with a gasp, 

“Don’t you dare fall asleep!” Remus scolded and Harry stretched like a lazy cat, 

“Then you’ll have to fuck me, because if you continue to lick me like this I’m not going to be able to stay up.” He told Remus with a soft smile, and the wolf growled playfully before he lifted Harry’s hips sharply, and with a wicked grin shoved his way into his compliant and drowsy lover in one strong stroke. 

Harry gasped and moaned deep, clutching the headboard above his head in preparation of a wild ride. Remus didn’t disappoint him, as much as he liked to run his tongue on his lover’s soft skin, the need was so strong and he denied himself for so long Remus was quite amazed he hadn’t come simply from entering his boyfriend. Harry rocked the best he could trying to meet Remus’ every thrust, biting his lip and looking deep into Remus’ eyes, feeling quite elated from finally hearing the words he so desperately wanted and being able to interpret the love shining in Remus eyes without feeling any self-doubt. 

Remus felt himself closing to climax, try as he may he could not last long when Harry was giving him such sultry looks. Even closing his eyes was futile as he could still hear the heart-felt moans and noises his loved one made that were undoing Remus every time. With a shout of his lover’s name Remus finally let go and tipped over the edge, falling into blissful orgasm. Harry’s back arched when he felt his lover seed coating his insides and came for the second time that night, completely untouched- which nevertheless produced quite a spectacular orgasm on his part. 

Together the two lay panting and shivering with the after-shock of their mutual climax. After a few minutes Remus was even able to pull out of Harry’s body and roll to his side, his beautiful chocolate suns now smeared and unrecognisable with the sweat and the friction of their bodies, a large portion of them actually ending up on Remus’ chest. Remus looked at the mess that was Harry and then at his wand on the nightstand and wondered if the Room would be able to clean them up without him having to move. After a moment, in which nothing substantial happened Remus reached the sad conclusion he’d have to do it on his own. With a small grunt he reached over Harry’s prone body and picked up his wand, trying to recall the words of the cleaning spell. 

As soon as they were both relatively clean and wrapped with the blankets, Remus could finally relax and hug his beautiful lover close. He ran a finger over his new pendant and smiled softly, knowing that the little wolf on his neck would be there to anchor him no matter what turbulences life set ahead of him, he just hoped he could have Jaime there with him in person as well. But right now he was just pleased that he would have the boy with him the next full moon. 

“When did you managed to transform?” He asked sleepily and Harry, who was already visited by the sandman blinked his eyes and looked blearily at Remus, 

“Huh?” Remus tried not to chuckle, but couldn’t resist to plant a small kiss on the tip of Harry’s nose, he just looked too cute to resist, 

“When did you transform?” He asked again and Harry stretched his neck a little trying to recall, 

“I think it was last week. I wanted it to be a surprise to you. I asked Sirius to give me a few ‘private lessons’.” He explained. 

“Oh,” Remus said with a little forced smile, “I see.” He couldn’t help himself but he was feeling a little miffed that Harry went and did this behind his back and he wasn’t there to share the excitement of the first time, 

“I’m sorry you weren’t there,” Harry said, correctly guessing his mate’s distress, “But I did get a lot further when you weren’t there,” at Remus’ incredulous look, he chuckled and tried to explain himself better, “Well, I couldn’t very well concentrate when you were giving me those looks! When you were around all I wanted to do was jump your bones and have you right there on the floor…” He explained sheepishly and Remus laughed, knowing full well what Harry meant as he was feeling the same and never wasted the opportunity to indulge in his lover’s charms after every ‘animagus lesson. He nuzzled Harry’s neck,

“I love you…” Harry smiled, and wrapped his arms around Remus, 

“Go to sleep love, the night isn’t over yet.”


	20. Chapter Twenty

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Chapter Twenty: Happy birthday to us

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**“Happy birthday to mee, Happy birthday tooo meeee, Happy birthday to me and Mooooonyyyy, Happy birthday to us…”**

**“That was wonderful, James,” Sirius said when he pulled his fingers out of his ears, “Please don’t do it again…” James looked hauntingly at his friend, and spun on his heel, turning his back at the lot of them- nothing was going to spoil his party mood tonight!**

**“So, are we ready?” Remus asked quickly before a raw could brew between his friends, which no doubt would lead to a shouting match, which they didn’t have time for since their party guests were about to arrive. Harry looked around him, taking in the sight of the Room of Requirements, completely transformed to host a magnificent birthday party.**

**The huge room was decorated with lair upon lair of crêpe paper chains in every colour imaginable and huge clusters of balloons curtsy of Sirius Black. Harry thought it looked like a club-full of the most colourful drag-queens exploded all over the room but he figured it was Remus and James’ fault for giving Sirius the decorating job to begin with.**

**Against the far wall stood a big table where the birthday cake was proudly presented, a three tyres tall cake with white frosting and little red marzipan roses. And yes, it was originally meant to be a wedding cake but apparently the couple in question had a major raw two days prior to the wedding and called it off, leaving the poor baker with the cake. Harry and Remus managed to get it off his hands for twelve galleons and four sickles (which was their whole cake budget and would probably suffice for a small tray of scones otherwise), well at least they removed the little figures of the bride and groom from the top.**

**Against the wall to the left of the cake was a long table full of nibbles- mini tarts and chocolate éclairs, chocolate fudge and an assortment of biscuits along side fresh cut vegetables and all sorts of crisps and various dips. Even the Hogwarts House-elves knew what was the best party around…**

**Opposite to the grab was the beverages table complete with six cases of butterbeer, a huge bowl of fruit punch which Sirius generously spiked with gin and firewhiskey and would probably taste good but only after you had at least three shots of something else. There were also plenty of soft drinks and alcoholic stuff that James and Peter (the alcohol committee) got from Merlin knows where and were probably bordering on illegal. All in all it promised to be a smashing party.**

**“We’re all set, you can start letting people in.” Harry said in satisfaction and Sirius bounded happily to the door to let the gathering masses in. Soon the room filled with up-bit music and a herd of teenagers all ready to party till they dropped.**

**Harry squeezed his way to the alcohol table to get a butterbeer, smiling and trying to be a gracious host in general, even though it wasn’t strictly his party. A pair of warm and familiar arms slid around him and he snuggled back into his boyfriend’s embrace. Remus smiled and kissed Harry’s cheek, he didn’t care if anyone saw them together, in fact he was quite glad to have all his ex-stress relievers (as Harry liked to call them) around and watching in jealousy as he claimed ownership on the best looking bloke in Hogwarts.**

**“Having fun?” He purred in Harry’s ear, causing the latter to shiver a little, gods he better stay clear of Remus tonight or he might just jump him in front of half the school…**

**“How about you, it’s your party after all.” Remus shrugged,**

**“Not really, it’s just a convenient excuse for the guys to get smashed drunk.” He answered cheerfully, each year this party was just another reminder that he was a year older and not quite like the rest, being both a werewolf and gay apparently won you no credit points, not to mention the fact that you had to hide at least one of these facts or else you’d be in a heap of trouble. But this year he was happy, in love and it was all thanks to Jaime.**

**“Like they really need an excuse…” Harry muttered in good-humour. He took a sip from his drink and tightened Remus arm around his waist, not really feeling like letting go and scanned the hall. People were talking and eating, dancing and laughing, a perfect picture of house unity- too bad there were hardly any Ravenclaws and no Slytherins present… “Oh, there’s Alex!” Harry cried happily when he spotted Draco slinking into the room doing his best to look out of place, “I better go and say hello.” He turned to Remus and placed a soft kiss on his lips, “Would that be ok?” Remus looked at the pleading aquamarine eyes and smiled,**

**“Oh, this is the bit where I do my jealous thing right?” He asked in mock-seriousness, “Hmm, no you can’t go there, I don’t want you anywhere near that boy, you hear me?” He said cheerfully and Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head,**

**“Keep working on it, you’re almost there…” Remus shrugged and nodded happily. Harry gave him one last peck on the lips and grabbed another bottle from the table before he started making his way through the masses.**

**“Hey there. I’m so glad you could make it.” He greeted Draco when he arrived, handing the new bottle to the other boy and clinking their necks together in greeting. Draco smiled slightly and took a sip from the offered bottle, whatever possessed him to come to a Gryffindor-Hufflepuff party…**

**“Yeah.” He muttered, feeling a little better despite himself now that Harry was there and he didn’t have to stand there like a complete idiot.**

**“I see you couldn’t drag Snape with you, shame, I thought he liked Remus.” Harry said flippantly, not that he really expected to see Snape here or cared if he did, he just wanted to know what pearls of wisdom Snape had to offer as an excuse,**

**“He doesn’t _like_ your wolf, he tolerates him.” Draco answered with a snort, Snape didn’t do ‘like’ with anyone. “He said he would never come to something like this, he thinks your friends are Satanists.” **

**“What? Why would he think that?” Harry asked with a chuckle, there was a lot you could say about the Marauders, and most things would probably be true, but Satanists?**

**“I think his exact words were- They’re in league with Satan, and not in the fun sacrifice animals way…” Draco recited, trying to hold back his laughter, Snape could be such a drama queen when he wanted to…**

**“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Harry asked between bouts of laughter, this sounded exactly like something his snarky potions professor would say, and still it didn’t make much sense to him,**

**“Knowing Snape it could mean anything.” Draco answered, equally amused. They sipped their beverages in silence for a little while, trying to come up with something to talk about. It was amazing how when they were alone they couldn’t stop talking but as soon as they had company they turned into mute fishes. A strong clutch on Harry’s biceps nearly caused him to spit his butterbeer. He looked behind him to see the fiery red hair of his mother peaking cautiously around his shoulder,**

**“Lily, what the hell?” He grunted, and Lily stood up straight and hugged him from behind,**

**“I’m trying to hide.” She explained pleasantly,**

**“I can see that. Why are you hiding?”**

**“I’m hiding from James, he wants to ask me for a dance.” At that Draco nearly chocked on his butterbeer, coughing and splattering with laughter, Harry tried his best to ignore him, especially since Lily was looking far too amused,**

**“What’s wrong with dancing with your boyfriend on his birthday?” Harry asked irritably,**

**“I like my toes to remain intact, thank you very much.” By now Draco was a quivering mass of laughter, wheezing against the wall. Harry held his head high and refused to acknowledge the Slytherin’s antics. Oh, he knew what had Draco giggling like a madman! “What’s so funny?” Lily asked curiously, and Draco wiped his eyes and took a calming breath,**

**“Well, let’s just say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…” Lily turned her bright green eyes to Harry, whose jaw was set, trying to look as offended as possible,**

**“Are you done?” He snapped at Draco, who shook his head merrily, much to Harry’s annoyance,**

**“You should have seen him, forth year’s Yule ball… His poor partner wanted to die…” To Harry’s complete horror and disgust his own mother and his so-called friend were laughing together at his expance!**

**“Bugger off, both of you!” He snapped and pushed his way into the crowd, going to find Remus for comfort while the echoes of Lily and Draco’s laughter followed him. Behind him the two were slowly bringing themselves out of their stupor, looking mightily pleased with each other.**

**“Hey, I’m Lily.” Lily said with a wide smile and reached her hand for a shake. Draco looked at her hand and hesitated for a second, before he grabbed the delicate hand and shook it,**

**“Alex.” Lily looked at him shrewdly, crossing her arms over her chest,**

**“You’re a pure-blood aren’t you?” Draco smiled,**

**“Yes I am.” Lily snorted dismissively,**

**“Don’t look so smug you snobbish git! You flinched when I offered my hand- too good to shake the hand of mudblood?” Draco’s jaw dropped in shock, truth be told, be didn’t think about blood purity at all- it was just that he wasn’t overly used to shake strange girls’ hands… girls from well bred pure-blooded families rarely shake hands, it was considered a manly trait. Besides, he was tipsy, and not seeing well, yeah, that’s it- tipsy!**

**“I didn’t flinch, you daft wench!” He snarled back at her. Even though he was on rather friendly terms with Harry now days it didn’t mean he had to be nice to his mum!**

**“Who are your parents?” Lily asked with narrowed eyes, this boy had something familiar in his demeanour, too bad all she could remember from the first time she saw him was blond.**

**“I’m afraid I’m not in liberty to divulge this information.” Draco answered with a tilt up of his chin and that was quite enough for all the pieces of the puzzle to drop in place,**

**“You don’t have to, I can read you like an open book!” Lily said triumphantly, “You’re Narcissa’s boy.” Draco gazed at her with eyes so wide Lily thought they would fall out of their sockets,**

**“What are you?” He whispered hoarsely, edging away from her. Harry told him that Lily was exceptionally smart but this was down right freaky!**

**“A keen observant of the human behaviour,” Lily answered flippantly, “And as much as you like to think that you’re Lucius Malfoy’s clone- your body language is pure Narcissa.” Draco stared at her, one part of him wanted to grill Lily and dig up all the information he could about his parents school-days, the other just wanted to run away from those piercing green eyes that were so like and unlike Harry’s.**

**“I… you’re…” He cleared his throat and pulled himself to his full height, trying to regain composure over himself,**

**“Wanna dance?” Draco closed his eyes as if in pain, trying to figure out how to refuse politely, this is after all a woman that even Severus Snape fears…**

**“Sure.” Lily beamed and started pulling him to the dance floor before Draco could take back the words his traitorous tongue so easily provided.**

**From the other side of the room Harry watched as his mother led the slightly stunned Draco to the dance floor. Draco looked like he was shocked by his own actions which Harry suspected was the case, but Lily had her way with people and there were very few men that could say no to her.**

**“So now we’re setting up Alex with Lily?” Remus asked, not entirely sober anymore, and leaned against Harry for support, “It’s going to be difficult you know, she’s got a boyfriend already…” He chuckled to himself and hiccupped. Sirius’ punch was quite stiff, like a… punch to the gut… Remus giggled at his own mental pun, gods he was getting slow- he needed another drink.**

**“We’re not setting up anyone!” Harry insisted, he was done with this sort of things. “I have a feeling Lily is teaching Alex a little lesson.” He said with a satisfied voice, looking at his mother as she guided Draco along the dance floor, causing the other boy to work quite hard to keep up with her,**

**“What sort of lesson?” Remus asked, snuggling deeper into Harry’s side, before he decided it wasn’t enough and took Harry’s arms, wrapping them around him,**

**“The difference between muggle-born and pure-blood girls.” Harry tried to silently endure Remus’ fidgeting, just like he was doing in bed every night, tossing and turning and moving Harry all around the bed until he found a comfortable position. In general Harry found this all quite amusing, because it was mostly just Remus trying to get as much contact as he could before he dropped to sleep.**

**“What the hell is Lily doing dancing with that Slytherin scum?” Came a growl next to them and Harry looked at his father, who was looking rather murderous, eyes fixed on his girlfriend and Draco. Harry wanted to roll his eyes, how Neanderthal of James…**

**“He’s not scum and Lily has a right to dance with whom ever she chooses!” Harry snapped, and James turned his glare to his son,**

**“Then why won’t she dance with me?”**

**“That’s because you dance like a troll and Lily didn’t wear her iron-cast shoes tonight…” Remus chuckled to himself and Harry tried not to laugh, because that would tick James off and, well, he didn’t really want to cause any embarrassing scenes.**

**“That’s not the point, she shouldn’t be dancing with a filthy Slytherin!” James insisted stubbornly, and Harry turned at him, detangling himself from Remus almost unconsciously,**

**“He’s not a filthy Slytherin, he’s my friend and I’d appreciate it if you don’t bad mouth my friends!” He hissed, it was like Snape’s memory all over again! That same un-based prejudice that was creating house-rivalry because no one bothered to get to know the other, and Harry was damned if he was just going to stand aside and contribute to it again.**

**“Then maybe you should take a good look of who your friends are then…” Harry couldn’t believe his ears, he wanted to shake James, to yell at him to grow up and stop being such an idiot, because it was killing him that his own dad was spewing such nonsense, I mean what kind of example is it to your unborn yet seventeen years old son?**

**“Maybe you should get down from your high tree and try to meet new people, are you scared you might actually find out that Slytherins can be humans?” Truth be told, Harry was feeling a wee bit hypocritical right now, after all, if he and Draco hadn’t fell through that time alcove, they would probably never take the time to get to know each other… which in turn made him even more upset at what James was saying- no one likes to have a mirror placed in front of them showing their faults, “No-one in our dorms has a problem with Slytherins, except for you and Sirius, Mr. bigot and Mr. snob!”**

**“That’s because Peter is a sniveling rat and Remus will fuck anything with a cock!” At that point James and Harry were facing each other, faces inches apart, yelling at each other while the rest of the crowd stood gobsmacked around them. Remus was looking rather embarrassed that the argument’s focus shifted to him but even he wasn’t mad enough to go between the two, not when he could practically see the magical energy swirling around them,**

**“Take that back!” Harry hissed venomously. James’ face contorted into an ugly smile,**

**“What, can’t handle the truth? That your precious boyfriend is the biggest slut that ever walked past the gates of Hogwarts?” James didn’t even have time to gloat after that because Harry’s fist connected with his jaw with such force that it sent the stag staggering backwards straight into Sirius’ arms, who only came to see what the commotion was all about.**

**Harry stood there panting, completely shocked by what he had done, when he felt a little tag on his arm. He looked up to see Remus, grim and flushed beside him. The sight of his love’s face made Harry snap out of his stupor and he grabbed Remus’ hand and started shoving his way out of the room. The crowd, too shocked to do anything but stare parted silently to let Harry pass. Lily was looking at him in a mix of reproach and admiration and Draco just looked amused more than anything.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sentence “In league with Satan, and not in the fun sacrifice animals way” is something Love-orthelack-thereof (A.K.A Kat) wrote in one of her reviews and I just loved it too much to pass it over- so here it is. Thanks, girl.   
> I think that if the Marauders were Satanists, they be the kind from “Good Omens” by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

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JADED

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Chapter Twenty-one: How do you dare to tell me that I’m my father’s son   
(Title from “Wind-up”, by Jethro Tull, Album “Aqualung”)

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“Jaime, wait, just hold on a second!” Remus grabbed Harry’s arm, spinning him around so that the other could face him. To Remus’ utter shock he could see tears in his partner’s eyes. Harry was having hard time breathing, just thinking about the fact that he just smacked his own father was bad enough but the sting in his hand, the heat that was spreading from where his knuckles met with James’ face made it impossible to run away from what he’s done. Remus wrapped his arms around his distressed boyfriend and lowered them to the ground, Harry’s whole body shaking with silent sobs.

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” Remus whispered to him, rocking Harry back and forth slowly, letting the storm pass. He was pretty sure Harry hadn’t meant to hit James and now the poor wolf was just in shock. Remus was doing his best to be the good boyfriend and comfort his lover but he couldn’t help the small smile that graced his lips. 

After a while Harry finally managed to get hold of himself and calm down enough to look at Remus, his face all red and puffy. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled and wiped his face with the tissue Remus conjured for him, 

“Sorry for what? James deserved everything he got and more.” Harry sniffled miserably, if only he could tell Remus the real reason for his distress… because he sure as hell wasn’t sorry for putting James in his place after the horrible things he said. 

“You’re not mad?” He asked with an unsure note, this was exactly the sort of things that Snape always complained about- acting without thinking first. 

“Mad? Are you joking? I’m completely turned on right now!” Remus exclaimed with a grin, “No one ever defended my honour like that before.” Harry let out a wet chuckle and leaned against Remus, feeling grateful that not everything was ruined tonight. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” Remus purred in his ear but Harry, turned on as he was by his wolf’s sexy purrs, was still feeling more guilty than horny,

“What about James?” Remus seemed to have sagged a little, damn Jaime for being too Gryffindor for his own good… 

“James will cool off soon enough. He’s got a big mouth and a foul temper but he’s not one to hold grudges.” Just like me… Harry thought with a mental smile, “Everything will be alright tomorrow, you’ll see.”

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

But despite of Remus’ optimistic prediction, James turned out to be a lot more stubborn than anyone gave him credit for and he flat out refused to have anything to do with Harry. He even refused to go to see Madame Pomfrey and have his bruise looked at, preferring to have his face swelling up just to annoy Harry further.

Harry on his part was quite torn with guilt. Yes, it was true James deserved that punch, yes it was true that he shouldn’t have said those things but for the love of Merlin, James was his father! When he set out to get to know his parents better this was not what he signed up for! And to make things worse, Snape, of all people, was right about him, he was just as bad as his father. 

The week that followed the party was the hardest one for the Marauders as of yet. Up until now, no matter what happened, they always faced it together, but now the worse thing imaginable happened- they were tearing at each other’s throats! As the days passed Remus grew tenser, both because the moon was pulling at him and both because of the growing tension in their dorms. 

“Jaime, you have to do something!” Remus dropped the book he was carrying on the table with a heavy thud. In order to escape stress Remus and Harry took refuge in the Room of Requirements, turning it into their private sanctuary- both for studying and sleeping. 

“What do you want me to do? James won’t even look at me!” Harry snapped back, knowing that he should keep his temper on this because it wasn’t Remus fault and besides, provoking a werewolf three days before the full moon is just something you don’t do, even if you’re in love with said wolf. 

“I hate this! Our dorms have turned into two camps! Sirius is following James like a bloody lap dog, they both hate me because I’m your boyfriend, Peter is looking like his aunt just died and Lily’s is pulling a Switzerland!” Remus slumped into a chair, waving his hands in the air,

“Peter’s got a girlfriend in Slytherin.” Harry said quietly, refusing to lift his head from the book he was pretending to read, 

“Brilliant, than he should be on your side then.” 

“I don’t want him on my side, I don’t even like Peter!” Remus jumped from his chair and started pacing around, 

“Fine, whatever, this is not the point. The point is, you have to make things better somehow!” Harry snapped his book shut and rose to his feet as well, 

“Why do I have to do the first move? James is the one with the big mouth!” Remus stopped in front of Harry, drawing a deep breath and flexing his fingers in frustration, 

“Why do you have to be so… man!” He asked angrily and started pacing again. Harry opened and closed his mouth a few times- well, that was an interesting accusation, 

“I thought that was what you liked most about me…” He said with a small smile, trying not to laugh but Remus wasn’t listening to him, he was pacing again talking to himself, 

“I thought I really had it going, you know, Sirius was always complaining about girls being too sensitive and that you had to constantly pay attention to their feeling or they’ll be offended… I thought I had it better, with men, not having to worry about their stupid menstrual hormones and moods, but NO! Men have egos! The bloody size of Greenland! And you won’t talk to James because he’s at fault and he won’t talk to you because you hit him and I’m stuck in the bloody middle and it’s three days to the full moon and I’m going fucking crazy!”

“Alright, alright!” Harry cried, ”I will talk to James!” Remus stopped his ranting and looked at his boyfriend, he hadn’t really meant to go mad but it was just so frustrating to have his dorms split in half like that. He missed his friends, as much as he loved spending time with Harry and all he still needed some sane perspective, someone to talk to who knowing that the conversation was not likely to end with his cock being buried in anyone’s arse. Jaime had Alex for that and Remus had James and Sirius, when they weren’t being complete arseholes that is. 

“Good.” 

“Right after I talk to Lily…” Remus sighed, why did everyone think that they could solve every bloody problem by running to Lily? Yeah, she was a great friend and one of the only girls Remus was willing to admit he wasn’t dead scared of (actually he was scared shitless of her, but that had nothing to do with any of Lily’s girly traits and everything to do with her sharp intellect- but then again, he never met anyone their age who wasn’t scared of that), but from this to being the bloody guru of everything… 

“Fine.” He knew there was no point in arguing that, and sat back in his chair, feeling slightly better than he did before but at the same time more frustrated that this was the extant of his ability to help out.

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

“Fancy meeting you down here…” Harry lifted his head from the flames he was watching and gave his mother a half smile. Lily plopped on the sofa next to him, all warm and solid and Harry couldn’t help snuggling into her a little, “I thought you’d be out and running with the lot now that you got your animagus form.” Harry shrugged and kept his eyes on the flames,

“James said that if I came he wouldn’t and Sirius backed him up. I couldn’t let Remus suffer because of that. I’ll go to him when they come back.” He said quietly, 

“James is such a nitwit sometimes. Merlin, I’m so glad you thumped him.” A ghost of a smile crossed Harry’s lips, but not reaching his eyes. He had already discovered that his fiery temper was nearly 100% Lily. “I got all the gory details from Ian, James should never have said those things about Alex, and especially not about Remus. Good job, son!” She clamped Harry’s shoulder with enthusiasm, but that did not diminish any of the guilt Harry was feeling. 

“Who’s Ian?” 

“Ian Moon, he’s a Hufflepuff, he was standing right next to you two and heard the lot. Look, Izzi, it’s not really a big deal…” She tried to get Harry out of his funk, because this was getting ridiculous- so you hit your dad without your dad knowing that he’s your dad, but there’s no need to mop about it a week later! 

“It is a big deal,” Harry said quietly, deciding to ignore the fact his mother still insisted on calling him Izzi, because she’s been doing it constantly for the last month and to his utter horror, others started calling him that too! Right now he had more pressing issues on his mind, “I saw something I shouldn’t have, something about dad…” 

“Did you catch him wanking and clutching his teddy bear?” It took Harry’s moping mind a couple of seconds to work this through, 

“Ew, no! He doesn’t really do that, does he?” Lily shrugged dismissively, 

“How would I know, you’re the one in his dorm.” Harry let out an exasperated sigh, and Lily sobered up somewhat, boy this gloomy demeanour was 100% James. Ever since she discovered the truth about Harry’s identity Lily’s been watching the boy closely, cataloguing every tiny nuance in his character to see if it was hers or James’. At first she did it to prove herself that her son may look a spitting image of his father but he was still hers as well, now she just liked to mentally bit James with the list of characters that were hers and not his. “What did you see?” 

“I saw a memory… Of dad and Sirius… bullying someone. I… they… they were doing it out spite, the other boy didn’t do anything and they just…” Harry was stumbling with the words, feeling like a complete git. This was not his memory to tell, and loath as he was of Snape, he still felt bad about dishing out his worst nightmares like that. Besides, the confudus spell on him didn’t really allow him to say much. Lily looked at her son, biting her lip and trying to find the best way to deal with this, 

”James can be a real jerk sometimes, that’s true, and put together with Sirius is a lethal combination. I know that you feel bad about hitting James, and I know that if you’re left to your own devices you’ll mope and sulk about it for years to come, but Izzi, you are not James.” Harry pulled his knees to his chest, he wanted to believe Lily so much, because that would mean there was still hope for him, that Snape was wrong and that he wasn’t a brut like his father. “I’ve been watching you, and what happened last week just proves that you’ve got my personality rather than his.” Lily turned her bright green eyes to her son, forcing Harry’s chin to the side so that he faced her, “You stood up for the man you love, for your friend and for me, you didn’t hit James just because you felt like it, you did it for us, and that is what separates you from being mindless bully. You would never flip Severus Snape over just to humiliate him by showing his underwear or hate someone just because they better than you at something.”   
Harry blinked his eyes, trying to fight tears because he knew it was true and he knew that the reason he went to talk to Lily was because she knew what he was to James and see the real reason for his distress. Grateful tears spilled from his eyes and he buried his head in Lily’s shoulder. Lily smiled and hugged him close, her baby was a good boy and would grow up to be a great man but this tendency to cry was definitely James’ fault. 

“Thank you…” Harry whispered into the soft skin of Lily’s neck, 

“You’re welcome love. You need to be the bigger man here and make the first step, because apparently James have become rather resilient to my threats…” She said with a pang of disappointment, gone were the days when a single look would have sent the four boys running on her every wish. Harry chuckled and cleared his throat, gods it was a huge bolder off his shoulders. 

“I love you mum.” Harry sniffled away the last of his tears and Lily beamed at him, the boy usually refrained from calling her mum, which was fine with Lily because of the weirdness factor but made it all the more moving when he did. 

“I love you too Izzi.”


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

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A/N: I have the most wonderfully wonderful beta in the whole world, so envy me! Love you Kat, I just can't thank you enough.

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** Chapter Twenty-Two: All that Potter angst **

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"Why are you looking so smug?" Harry asked irately as he sipped the last of his butterbeer. It was Thursday again and he and Draco were sitting in their usual spot in the potions classroom. After the horrible fortnight Harry had to endure in which his father hasn’t spoken to him; and neither did Sirius; not to mention the full moon that he was suppose to be running around and playing with Remus and instead he ended up crying on his mother's shoulder, he definitely needed a little 'pick me up'.

"I'm the only Slytherin who actually witnessed the most spoken of event in the entire school." 

"So?" 

"So? So I'm bloody popular! They all want details since the Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors won't stop talking about how you nearly killed the legendary James Potter." Draco answered happily; in contrast with Harry his week has been splendid. At last, after months and months of having to suffer at the bottom of the social ladder in his house, he was finally back in his proper spot, on the top. 

"I didn’t nearly kill him, I hardly touched him, and it was only a punch for the love of Merlin!" Harry shouted, the strain of having to watch his father milk the incident for sympathy to the fullest, topped by random people walking up to him asking him if he could possibly help them to get back at other students who wronged them made him quite hostile whenever the incident was brought up. 

"Whatever, I'll have you know that you're a semi-hero in Slytherin now days, anything that can shake that cocky sureness of the Gryffindor captain is very welcome in the dungeons." Harry smiled a little at that, 

"Gee, thanks it has always been a dream of mine to be the new Slytherin hero." 

"It should be." Harry shook his head and opened up a new bottle, this could go on forever, and no matter what he'd say he'd always end up being belittled by the boy who really had a Greenland sized ego. "By the way, that was a very noble thing you did for your love." Draco drawled, his voice somewhat sombre. 

"Really?" Harry asked suspiciously, he was getting to know Draco pretty well by now after all, 

"NO!" Draco turned to look at Harry with a disgusted expression, "I would think that if your boyfriend can turn into a vicious monster once a month he'd be able to defend himself against his best friend without you jumping in to do the 'Noble thing'! For the love of Circe, not everyone needs rescuing from the bloody Boy-who-lived!" Harry tried to hide his smile, 

"I was defending you as well…" He said with a slightly hurt tone, 

"What do you want? A bloody shag?" Draco snorted and looked a little sullen, luckily no one seemed to remember the first part of the argument between Harry and James and they all remembered what James said about Remus and Harry's reaction to it. It wasn’t that Draco wasn’t grateful to Harry for stand up for him, but it was really not in his nature to gush and turn mushy over something like that. 

"That would be rather painful wouldn't it?" Harry asked and snickered as Draco's face turned greenish and disgusted, "I always knew you coveted my arse, but unfortunately for you, you can't have it." Harry stretched out his legs, and smiled smugly,

"Ha Ha very funny, Potter. Think highly of yourself don't you?" Draco snarled, feeling a little miffed at being stung in his own field, by Harry Potter no less. Harry gave him a brilliant smile and Draco rolled his eyes, 

"Are you done now?" Harry gave him a haughty look, complete with a pout and a head tilt in the other direction, 

"Yes." 

"Good." They sat and sipped their drinks in silence, glancing at each other from the corners of their eyes, trying to gauge which one of them would crack first. It was Draco who bit his lip and turned his head the other way before the two of them started sniggering. 

"I bet your wolf was mightily happy you defended his honour…" Draco said with a sly smile and Harry rolled his eyes, 

"No, actually he's pretty pissed; he wants me to talk to James. There's just too much tension in the dorms right now and Remus doesn’t deal with stress well." 

"So, what are you going to do?" Draco asked with no real hope for his friend, Harry was just too predictable, 

"Talk to James of course, I've had it with the whole situation and James obviously won't make the first step so I guess it's up to me." Draco shook his head, yep, that was just about right, 

"Gods, and here I thought this would actually be interesting, serves me right to mess up with a bunch of goody-two-shoes Gryffindorks!"

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“James, can I have a word?” Harry was nervously fidgeting berating himself for being such a quivering mass of nerves when by all means it should be James that was feeling bad.

“Are you going to hit me again?” I will if you keep asking stupid questions! Harry took a deep breath and gritted his teeth to get rid of ill-times thoughts, 

“Please?” James shrugged and Harry tilted his head, indicating the stands. James nodded and the two made their way up the Gryffindor booth. After a careful consideration Harry decided the best time to approach James was right after Quidditch practice, for the reasoning that James would be happy and worn out and probably more likely to listen to what Harry had to say. But now that he got James where he wanted, namely sitting on the bench and gazing down at the pitch, Harry suddenly found himself bereft of words. 

"Umm, well… I just… I probably shouldn't have hit you, and I'm sorry for that…" He started, doing his best to ignore James' huffing next to him, "But you shouldn't have said those horrible things about Remus and the others." He concluded, there, that wasn't so hard. Too bad he had to wait for James to speak… 

"You're right," James sighed, this conversation was long over due and he was quite pleased that Harry took the initiative and approached him first otherwise he'd probably have to go against everything in his stubborn nature and go to Harry. As much as he had fun rubbing Harry's face in the fact that he did something he shouldn't have James didn’t really like the tension in the dorms any better than the rest of them and making Remus sad was worse than kicking a puppy… "I shouldn't have said those things about Remus and I guess my only excuse is that I was drunk…" Harry took a deep breath but decided to ignore the fact that James didn’t apologize for being mean to Draco because it was a little too much to expect James to change altogether and favour Slytherins. 

"You need to apologize to Remus; you had no right to say these things." Harry tried to keep his righteous fire going but he knew he was falling fast, this was so unfair- if James wasn't his father, or at least if he knew he was his father things would have been much easier, 

"I already did. We're cool." Harry was quite floored by this, why didn't Remus say anything to him? 

"Oh…" 

"Yeah, look Jay I just… I think that the reason I got so… worked up over things was… I mean… I…" James fumbled with the words, turning a delicate shade of pink that slowly deepened, and refused to look directly at Harry, "I think ImightbeabitjealousofyouandRemus." He mumbled almost inaudibly and Harry blinked a couple of times, 

"What? I didn’t quite get it…" 

"I might be a little jealous of you and Remus." James muttered darkly, angry that he had to spell it out. Now Harry, he recognized a delicate situation when he came across one and this was one delicate situation! It was all good and dandy for Draco to want to experiment a little, but if James decided to experiment with his sexuality… the repercussions… Gods, Harry did not even want to think about it. 

"Umm, that's… I mean that's great but… are you sure you're…" James lifted his head to look at Harry turning red and his eyes widened, 

"No! You git! Oh Merlin, I didn’t mean I fancy either of you!" He cried, and Harry smiled feebly, nearly melting on the spot with relief, "I mean I'm a little jealous of what you two have." James rubbed his face, trying his best not to look as if the idea of being with a guy freaked the hell out of him. Harry frowned in confusion, 

"But you also have it, you're with Lily." And please please please stay with her otherwise I'd probably start to fade or something… Damn the Dursleys and their love for the movie channels. He really didn’t need to think of Back to the Future right now. 

"Not like you two, Lily would never hit someone on my account." James said sadly and Harry tried not to smile, he loved his mother, he truly did, and he tried to cherish every second he spent with Lily because no-one ever bothered to tell him how Lily really was, except from Remus and even he didn't say much. But he knew for a fact that while his parents loved each other very much and for a very long time their passion was not even nearing the passion he felt for Remus, the length he would go to ensure his wolf was happy. "You guys are like… The stuff fucking stories are made of." Which as Harry understood it, could be interpreted in a number of ways… 

"Yeah, we're the regular gay version of "Romeo and Juliet"." Harry snorted- the stuff that stories are made of? That's was exactly the sort of things that got Lily to claim that James was a woos. 

"Who?" 

"Never mind." Harry said with a smile. He was feeling surprisingly light, James was forgiving him, or at least he wasn't holding the whole affair over Harry's head anymore and whether James knew it or not, this was a little bonding moment between them. More than anything Harry wanted to let James knew who he really was, but that was impossible. 

"So, we're ok?" Harry asked tentatively, and James heaved a great theatrical sigh, 

"Yeah, we are, even though it was nice to rub your face in it. Mister 'Fists of Fury'." James chuckled and punched Harry lightly in the upper arm. Harry smiled wider, and nudged James back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that was enough of Potter family angst. Next time we return to the original plotline, if you managed to forget in the midst of the unrelated things that happened, then Harry still needs to find a way to go back to his own time, and then tell Remus about it- Oh, yeah, fun all around.


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

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**Chapter Twenty- Three: And I realized, I'm going home**  
(Title from "I'm going home", from the 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' soundtrack)

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“So, how did you spend your Sunday night?” Harry asked, tossing another stone into the lake. It was the first warm Monday in a long time and everyone was out and trying to get as much vitamin D and tan as they possibly could during lunch break. Harry was never one for crowded places, especially not now after he and James had finally buried the hatchet and the big feud of the year had ended. People just seemed, well, disappointed, and naturally that drove Harry mad. So he had dragged Draco for a stroll around the lake while trying to avoid the masses.

“It was ok I guess, nothing special.” Draco shrugged, sending his companion a sideways glance, “But I know you’re dying to tell me all about _your_ weekend…” He winked slyly. Harry tried to shrug it off but wasn’t able to resist any longer, that bubbly feeling inside of him simply refused to leave and he found himself practically bouncing wherever he went. 

"It was awesome! Just brilliant!" He cried excitedly and Draco tried to hide his smile while preparing himself to a full account of last night's events, probably in a mile-a-minute speech if Harry's shining eyes were any indication, "First we had to leave the castle, which was the less fun part since we all had to hide under James invisibility cloak. Luckily Peter changed to his animagus form and that meant only three of us actually had to cramp together and walk under the cloak. When we finally made it to the Whomping Willow Peter ran under the tree to freeze it… I'll show you sometime, and then we all changed quickly after going up the trap door and into the second floor to meet Remus. It was completely surreal, being a wolf all of a sudden, I mean, all my senses went wonky but not in a bad way. I could smell a lot better, it was like everything turned grey and there were loads and loads of colourful trails of smell, unbelievable! My hearing seemed a lot sharper too, but I was walking on all fours and that was weird. Anyway, we took Remus with us and went down the tunnel and off to the forest. I haven't been in the forbidden forest since the end of fifth year but this time it was totally different and so much more fun. We met the centaurs herd and one of them tried to hit on Prongs. That was so funny, poor Prongs nearly rammed the centaur with his antlers. Gods, I thought I might crack a rib from trying to laugh so hard, apparently it's not something that wolf is meant to do- funny that really. And we met unicorns! Oh, they were magnificent; they were just running about, all pure, white, and glowing. They weren't scared of us but they didn't come near us either, but man… and we were having so much fun, playing games and chasing each other between the trees, it was the best night ever! When the moon sank we came back to the Shrieking Shack and then the others left and I stayed with Remus and we just cuddled and fell asleep…" Harry trailed off with a misty look in his eyes and Draco wanted more than anything to smack that starry eyed expression off the other boy's face, 

"That's lovely." He drawled dryly and the tone of his voice seemed to bring Harry back to reality. He shuffled uneasily for a moment, 

"Draco, are you… jealous?" Draco looked up sharply, his retort coming a second too fast and a tad too passionate to be completely honest, 

"Pfft, No! What would I be jealous of? You and your little lackeys running around the Forbidden Forest like complete morons?" Harry smiled sweetly at him.

"You want to become an animagus." He said with a satisfied smirk, which made Draco bristle even further. 

"I, unlike you and the rest of your deranged family am a law abiding citizen. You do know that it is illegal to become an unregistered animagus." He replied haughtily. 

"Yes I do know. I was in McGonagall's class too, thank you very much. And since when are you a 'law abiding citizen' Mr. Going-out-at-nights-trying-to-catch-others-out-after-hours-to-report-them-and-ending-up-in-detention-with-them?" 

"Gods, Potter, that was six years ago!" Draco cried out, what the hell was Harry thinking bringing up such horrifying and humiliating memories- he had been eleven for the love of Merlin. 

"Still, you, a law abiding citizen?" Draco shrugged, 

"Oh, well I had to at least try…" Harry grinned wide at that, "Teach me." 

"Ok. The first thing we need to do is find out what sort of animal you will turn into, there's a really simple spell for that, you just point your wand at yourself and say-" But before Harry could say what the spell was, a sultry voice was heard behind them, 

"Hey Alex." Both Harry and Draco turned around to face Regulus Black, who was trying to look coy but failed miserably when his eyes practically ate up Draco's form. Draco just barely refrained from heaving a deep sigh and rolling his eyes; some people just don't know when to give up… 

"Hey Reg, what do you want?" He asked in a brisk bored tone, hoping that Regulus would get the hint and beat it so that he could learn what animal he would turn into. It had been a life long dream of his to turn into an animagus but his mother had always thought that it was too dangerous and she even managed to convince his father of it and so Draco had never actually tried. But now he was in another time and he didn't have mummy and daddy looking over his shoulder and breathing down his neck, so he might as well give it a go. 

"The headmaster wants to see you in his office. Right now." Regulus said in a clipped tone, trying not to look too sorry for Draco at having to go see the headmaster, because everyone knew that if you made it all the way up to Dumbledore's office, it couldn’t be for something good. 

"Oh, thanks." Draco said, a little deflated, apparently his animagus lessons would be postponed for Merlin knows how long because more likely than not he'll have to deal with Harry's angst rather than practice animagi magic. Regulus gave him another flirting smile and then his eyes slid to the left of Draco and turned cold. 

"You too." He snarled at Harry then turned and walked away, leaving the two friends alone to follow the headmaster's orders,

"Why do I have a feeling Reg isn't too keen on me?" Harry asked curiously as they made their way back inside.

"That's because he's not," Draco answered simply and Harry shot him an offended look, "I refused to sleep with him and you took away his old flame, we Blacks don't like to share our toys." Harry huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

"Hmm," He said meaningfully, but Draco chose to ignore him yet again, "What do you suppose the headmaster wants with us?" He asked instead. 

"I have no idea but I bet we'll find out soon enough." He gestured at the stone gargoyle that sprang to life as the two reached it. Harry and Draco took the circulating staircase together in silence. 

"Enter." The over-cheery voice of Dumbledore came from behind the door when Draco hesitantly knocked on it. The two boys made their way in, silently taking seats in front of the big desk and looking at Dumbledore with avid eyes. "Tea? Lemon drops?" Dumbledore offered but they both shook their heads. "Well then, I'll get right to the point. I'm very please to inform you that after a long and hard study, we were finally able to pinpoint the exact date and time the alcove would reappear." Harry felt his heart sink in his chest, so they were going home… at last. This was something that he would have given anything to hear six months ago- gods, has it been that long? He rubbed his forehead and forced himself to listen to the headmaster, even though it seemed like a huge black cloud suddenly landed on him and was threatening to swallow him whole. "The time alcove will reappear next to the potions classroom on Friday the twelfth of May, which is three weeks from now. It's funny really, because the twelfth of May is exactly the date you left your year, although when you return it will be a week later, I'm not sure why…" Three weeks, just three more weeks to be with Remus, and Lily, and James, and Sirius. Harry felt his chest tightening and a lump forming in his throat. How could he possibly leave? 

Harry's shock was apparently deep because he didn't even notice that Draco's hand was guiding him out of Dumbledore's office. All he could think was 'Three weeks', those two words signalled the end of his world and he still had to tell Remus he was leaving in the first place.

"Well, that's certainly good news." Draco's voice didn’t sound at all convinced by that and Harry sighed, feeling completely drained of energy. 

"For you maybe…" He said sadly. Draco looked at his friend and was quite surprised to find out that he was feeling sorry for Harry; it can't be easy to leave all this behind. 

"Come on!" He argued and sat down next to Harry on the window sill, "You can't tell me you want to stay here…" Harry lifted his sad eyes to Draco, looking more than anything like a lost puppy, "Oh, good gods you do." 

"I… I just have so much going for me here, my parents, Remus…" 

"Yeah, but… You're really going to stay here?" From some reason the thought of having to go back alone, wasn't making Draco feel as good as it would six months ago. Six months ago he'd hex Harry without a second thought if that would have gotten him home faster, but now…

"I can't stay here." Harry said in a dejected yet final tone, it was a nice fantasy but it could never be real, "That would cause too many problems. Especially in a couple of years, when I'm due to be born." Draco heaved a mental sigh of relief; at least Harry wasn’t too much of a Gryffindor on this, 

"Good." 

Harry buried his face in his hands, the weight of the news so heavy on him he felt like he was drowning. 

"Gods, what am I going to tell Remus?" He mumbled. 

"And your mother…" Harry nearly chuckled at that, ever since the big party Draco had taken quite a shine to Lily. Which was something that both amused and vexed Harry.

"Lily won't mind. She knows I'm gonna have to leave at some point."

"Your mum is something else, you know that?" Now that he had only three weeks the only regret Draco was having is not being able to get to know Lily Evans better. 

"She found out who your really are, didn't she?" 

"She's like a little cuddly thing that turns into a vicious monster when you least expect it! Are you sure she's not a werewolf?" Draco asked with an awed tone. He could still picture the look Lily's eyes took when she realized she was right, it was incredible. She was like a hound after the smell of a fox and at the same time scary as hell. 

"She's not a werewolf, possibly Gizmo."

"Who?" Harry sighed; it was starting to get a little annoying that none of the pure-bloods was getting any of his jokes. 

"Nothing, a gremlin." Draco glanced sideways at Harry, noting that the other boy was doing it again, giving all sorts of muggle references and then refusing to explain them properly, this was really vexing sometimes. But he decided to drop it all the same. Let Potter keep his little muggle secrets, he'll come running to Draco eventually with something as trivial as a levitating charm and then we'll see who has the last laugh! 

"Your mother represents everything I hate- she's a mud… Muggle-born," Draco said in a sarcastic tone, like he was disgusted with himself for even thinking it, "And a redhead, and yet I find myself strangely attracted to her…" Harry's jaw dropped,

"You do NOT get to lust after my mother. Do you hear me!" He cried horrified, gods this was worst than James turning queer! "And what does red hair has to do with anything?" 

"You have met at least one, or two, or 2,465 Weasleys have you not?" Draco replied calmly, feeling quite pleased that he managed to shake Harry to the core, "And I do not lust after your mother you pervert! I'm attracted to her intellect. She's a sharp little tool that girl is. She'd have made a brilliant politician." Harry smiled sadly. 

"Well, we'll never know now, will we?" Draco bit his lip and cringed inwardly. Damn, that was a stupid slip of the tongue and now Harry was back to his morose, black mood.

"Look, I don't think you should tell your boyfriend that you're leaving." 

"Gods Draco, you're completely rubbish at trying to lift up the mood…" Harry shook his head; this was like going from the frying pan to the bloody fire! "And what do you mean I shouldn't tell him I can't not tell Remus I'm leaving and then simply disappearing three weeks from now!" 

"Would you rather have him brooding for three whole weeks or would you rather have him happy and ignorant till you leave?" Draco argued. It was all very straightforward as far as he was concerned. It was just Harry who kept insisting on making life hard for himself- I mean, it's the Hufflepuffs who were suppose to be all altruistic, right? "Just imagine all the sex you can have in that time…" 

"I can't not tell him," Harry repeated stubbornly, "I won't be able to live with myself if I don't tell him." 

"Have I mentioned recently just how pathetic you are?" Harry smiled. 

"Not in the last couple of months." 

"Well, it's about time I do, then."


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

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Chapter Twenty-Four: Listen to me

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Remus tapped his fingers on the parchment in front of him impatiently, he couldn’t concentrate, not when he knew that Jaime had managed to convince the prim and proper Miss Lily ‘Head Girl’ Evans to give him the password to the prefects’ bathroom (which he gladly shared with Remus, complete with the time that he was planning to go there), and here he was sitting in the library while pretending to study Potions for the last forty five minutes when all he could think about was Jaime’s naked form, all soapy and glistening with the water dripping and gliding down his spine like a lover’s fingers…

Remus rubbed his eyes and slid further down in his chair, cheeks flaming and eyes darting to see if anyone caught his 'little problem’. Well, schoolwork was obviously not a good distraction and right now he was sitting in the library with a raging hard-on just begging for attention and a boyfriend approximately half a mile away from him… 

In order to solve this Remus decided to engage in his second-best fail proof plan (the first being of course picturing McGonagall, Pince and Pomfrey in a randy all girls and wrinkles orgy) which was to watch Sirius hit on every girl in the vicinity. There was just something in the way Sirius would gloat and wriggle his eyebrows and smile so wide that Remus wondered how he wasn’t in pain, that sent Remus off like nothing else but what was most disturbing in the process was the fact that the girls lapped it up and flirted back and there was little Remus found less repulsive than giggly, eyelash batting girls. 

As soon as Remus was able to walk again without embarrassing himself he packed his things up and made his way to the prefects’ bathroom. The thought of all that Jaime naked skin making him nearly break in a run. The corridors were rather full, this being the evening ‘free-time’ for the students which meant there were far too many people around for Remus’ liking, clotting and clogging his way. He grunted and shoved his way through the throng, feeling like a complete idiot for nearly causing people physical harm just to get to a shag…   
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Harry reclined back in the hot water pushing playfully at the big pink and blue bubbles that were floating his way. He hasn’t been in the prefects’ bathroom since that night with the golden egg, way back in his fourth year and for a long time the place was linked in his mind with Cedric’s death, but somewhere during his seventh year he managed to get rid of a lot of the guilt associated with Cedric and now he was ready to face the room again. 

But right now he was torn between enjoying his bath time and scolding his boyfriend for not being there to enjoy it with him. He specifically told Remus when to show up but the werewolf hadn’t showed head nor hide so far. Harry huffed and hit yet another giant bubble, this time with more vengeance than before but the bubble didn't really seemed bothered by the force he used and floated gently to the other side of the tub, almost taunting Harry with its casualness.   
Remus slipped into the room silently, mightily relieved to see his lover's dark head poking above the cover of multi-coloured and shaped bubbles. Normally Remus would take a couple of minutes to appreciate that room, only visiting a handful of times before since he was no prefect, but right now all he cared about was the promise of a naked and soapy Jaime. He quickly slipped out of his robes and shoes and walked naked to the edge of the huge tube, 

"Got room for one more?" Harry jumped at the sound of the voice next to him, and that caused him to nearly lose his footfall and slip in a rather undignified manner. He caught himself on the edge of the bath and shakily smiled up at Remus, 

"If you can find room to squeeze in…" He offered generously and Remus chuckled, before he slipped into the blissfully hot water and Harry's inviting arms. "There's something I need to talk to you ab…" Harry started, trying to get the bad news out of the way as soon as possible but Remus was not in the mood for talking and he effectively silenced Harry with a searing kiss. 

"Gods, I've been dreaming about your body for the last forty five minutes, I am so horny right now…" He growled and Harry giggled, 

"Well, far be it from me to stop you then…" 'Talking can wait, besides, a post coitus Remus was much easier to deal with,' Harry managed to think before Remus pulled him tight against him, pressing them from chest to groin and rubbing against Harry almost frantically. Harry closed his eyes and tossed his head back, letting himself be engulfed with the sensations, which seemed heightened by the hot water. Remus sought his boyfriend's mouth taking it in a deep kiss, not wanting to talk because lately whenever Harry had something to say it usually wasn’t that fun to deal with. Besides, it's been the longest forty-five minutes of his life and although technically he didn’t deserve a shag since he didn't complete any school work, he was naked, wet, horny and had an equally naked, wet, and horny boyfriend on his arms and Remus was not a fool! 

Harry moaned into Remus' mouth suddenly eager to get things going. He jumped up slightly in the water, sending little waves of soapy water over the rim of the bath and wrapped his legs around Remus' waist and brought his lover closer, meshing their torsos together and tightening his arms around Remus' neck. 

Remus wasted no time in preparing Harry, feeling the intensity burning in both of them. The first finger dragged a heartfelt groan from Harry. As smooth and nice as soap was it wasn't a real lubricant and that hurt a bit, but not enough to make him stop Remus. The second finger was much easier and soon Harry was rocking on the fingers inside him, begging wordlessly for something more. Remus smiled into their kiss, pulling his fingers out and repositioning Harry so that he could slip into that sinful heat with ease.

The mermaid on the wall looked at them for a while, but when it finally dawned on her where the course of action was leading she blushed deep crimson and slid off her rock and into the painted waves- clearly not a fangirl… 

Together they gathered up the pace, rocking frantically and sending the water sloshing over the marble floor but neither of them cared. Harry's hand grabbed the bath's ledge trying to support himself against the frantic rhythm Remus was setting while his other hand clutched desperately to Remus' slippery shoulder. One of Remus' hands was grabbing his arse, trying to keep Harry close while the other ventured to Harry's somewhat neglected erection and fisted it, rubbing and rocking with an increased intensifying energy flux. Gods this was good, so bloody brilliant! Harder and faster they moved and Harry felt the need building inside him, rushing in his veins like a rocket ship on a collision course. He exploded, crying out Remus' name and arching his body back. The violent orgasm caught Remus with its ferocity and he soon followed his lover, shooting his load deep into his plaint boyfriend's body. 

Harry slumped against Remus' shoulder, trembling and exhausted. He felt as weak as a newly born; he couldn't have even supported his own weight on his legs if Remus hadn’t been holding him so tight. For a long moment the two simply basked in each other's after-glow, holding each other tight as their chests heaved and their breaths laboured to get enough oxygen into their lungs through the heavy steam in the pool. 

"Gods I needed that…" Remus whispered, rubbing his nose in the junction where Harry's shoulder met his neck,

"Then what the hell took you so long?" Remus grinned into Harry's skin, 

"I was… studying…" He said as nonchalantly as he possibly could right now. Harry pushed him back to arm length and Remus tried his best coy and flirty smile, but Harry narrowed his eyes at him, 

"You were using me as a 'reward time' again, weren’t you?" Remus spluttered with indigenes, doing his best to look hurt, 

"No!" When Harry's brow rose in suspicion, Remus could barely hold his laughter no more, "Well, maybe…" Harry smacked him lightly on the arm, and pouted, 

"I'm really starting to get offended by this!" He declared loudly. Remus gathered him close to him, again, murmuring into his boyfriend's hair, 

"Don't be, it really does help me study…" Harry snorted in disbelief, 

"Oh, yeah? What have you accomplished tonight then?" 

"Well, let's see… I managed not to think of McGonagall naked…" Remus answered with a wide grin and Harry snorted out in laughter, 

"Prat!"  
Together the two made their way to the other side of the swimming pool size tub, pushing and shoving through the bubbles to reach the shallow end where there was a ledge running alongside the wall. Harry and Remus sat down, necks deep in hot water and simply relaxed for a while. Harry kept shooting sidelong glances at Remus, working up the courage to say what it was he needed saying. 

"I need to tell you something." 

"Oh, gods, is it bad news?" Remus was never good dealing with bad news, "Because I'm not yet up for another round and that's the only way I think of to shut you up." Harry smiled sadly; if only things were as simple… he'd give anything to be able to solve all his problems with a good fuck.

"I have to leave." Harry said softly, not daring to look at Remus lest he regret his decision more than he already did. 

"That's ok; I'll see you back in the dorms." Harry shook his head, why was Remus insisting on making things more difficult than they should be?

"No, I mean I have to leave. Leave Hogwarts, I'm going back to… to Durmstrang…" How he hated lying to that man, how he longed to tell Remus everything, just come clean and hope for the best. But he shouldn’t, and he couldn’t and that was just the way things were. Harry, the little layer was going to break the heart of the last man he wanted to hurt. Life can be such a bitch sometimes. 

"When?" Remus' voice was cold and shocked and Harry bit his lip hard to ease the pain in his heart, 

"Three weeks." Remus closed his eyes, 

"I see." 

"Remus, I'm really really sorry, I… I only found out earlier today!" Harry tried to plead. As much as it hurt him to tell Remus the truth he knew he would never have been able to take Draco's advice because not telling Remus was not an option as far as he was concerned. Not telling Remus would mean sink lower in his web of lies and he knew that he would not be able to forgive himself when he saw the look in Remus' eyes when he left. 

"Why do you have to go anyway? The year is almost over; it'd be daft to go back now." Remus argued reasonably, after all Harry would probably be able to take his NEWT's in Hogwarts just as easy as he would in Durmstrang.

"I can't explain this; you're going to have to trust me." Harry hated himself for saying that. What right did he have to ask Remus for his trust?

"How long have you known about this?" 

"I told you, I only found out earlier…" Remus waved an impatient hand to shush Harry, 

"No, you didn't! You knew from day one that you were going to go back to Durmstrang and you still tried to seduce me!" Remus accused wildly and Harry shrank into himself, he couldn't really deny what was truth. "Was our relationship all a lie, was it some sort of a game? Seduce the werewolf, get him to fall madly in love with you and then just take off? Was it some sort of sick bet with Alex?" Harry's eyes filled with tears, how can Remus be thinking that of him? After everything they've been through together?

"No!" He cried, blinking at the tears and trying to stop his bottom lip from trembling, "This isn't a game or a bet! I would never do anything as low as playing with you like that! I love you, I really, truly, honestly love you but there are things you don't know about me, things you don't understand and I can't tell you, but believe me I would never stoop so low as to seduce you on purpose just to leave you." He finished, the tears streaming down his cheeks and his breath hard. 

"Then stay with me." Remus said quietly and Harry sobbed harder. He would give anything in the world to stay here, with the people he loved most, with his family. 

"I can't." 

"Why not?" Remus rubbed his forehead in frustration, this conversation was going in circles and he was learning nothing! He wanted answers, he needed reasons, and he wanted to know why Jaime was just walking away from what he proclaimed to be the best time of his life. 

"I can't tell you." Remus wanted to laugh, a mad crazy laughter that would help release his inner daemons, circles, big fucking useless circles.

"And you ask me to trust you… You lied to me Jaime." Harry whipped his face furiously, trying to reach for Remus who recoiled from him, sending a fresh wave of tears to Harry's eyes, 

"I love you." 

"You know, that doesn’t sound half as convincing now." 

"I know." The two sat down for a long moment, each absorbed in their own pain. Remus felt empty, knowing that he would soon be alone, all alone again, and this time it would be worse because this time he knew what he was missing. And Jaime was sitting there, crying because he had to go and Remus felt empty. He couldn't cry his eyes were stinging dry. How did things go so wrong so fast? 

"So what now?" He asked softly, eyes fixed on the picture of the mermaid who peered behind the rock and looked rather vexed to see that both Harry and Remus were still there, 

"We still have three weeks together." Remus shook his head, 

"Three weeks is nothing!" 

"So what do you want to do? Walk away?" Harry asked exasperatedly, refusing to believe that Remus would really leave him now, 

"Maybe it's for the best." 

"I can't stop you if you decide to leave, but I'm not going to be happy about it." Harry said quietly, his heart sinking so low he was pretty sure the house-elves would find it on the bottom of the bath when they come in tomorrow. 

"Funny, I could say the same thing." Remus said dryly, 

"So what do we do?" 

"I honestly don't know. I need some time to think." Harry tightened his jaw and took a deep breath, 

"I understand. I'll head back to the dorm." Remus nodded and Harry climbed out of the bath, his limbs heavy as if someone had replaced all the blood in his body with lead. He took a towel and dried himself slowly, donning his pyjamas on mechanically. He didn't dare to look at Remus, not wanting to burst in tears again, and left the bathroom. 

The way back to the tower was quite uneventful, most of the students cleared off to their respective dorms and Harry trudged through empty corridors. When he reached the Gryffindor common room he headed straight to his room, not wanting to meet anyone, especially not James or Sirius, or worse, Lily. It was hard enough to tell Remus, he needed at least a day to recover before he could tell any of the others that he was leaving. 

Harry lay in his bed looking at the canopy above him. It was like back then, in the days before he managed to convince Remus that he wanted him, just lying in bed, thinking of Remus. Harry rolled and buried his face in the pillow. He hated Dumbledore for sending them back, hated Draco for causing them to fall through the time alcove in the first place and hated himself for being so weak. 

He had no idea how much time passed, none of his other roommates came into the room, so he figured it wasn’t curfew yet but then again, the Marauders weren’t really known for their following of the rules. A slight knock on his bed post caused Harry to jump up; he looked up and saw Remus standing by his bed, looking forlorn and defeated. 

"Are you awake?" Harry sat up in bed and tried to ignore the desire to reach out and bring Remus close to him, 

"Yes, I've been waiting for you." Remus nodded and sat on the edge of the bed, and Harry gathered his knees to his chest to avoid temptation, "Where you in the bath the whole time?" 

"Yes." Remus said with a slight smile, holding his hand in front of him, and studying the wrinkled pads of his fingers, 

"That was what? Three hours?" Harry frowned, 

"Just about. That would explain why I'm so pruny." Remus wriggled his fingers at Harry who shook his head in fond amusement. "Can I stay here tonight?" Harry nearly sobbed with relief, he scooted to the edge of the bed, offering Remus place, 

"Of course you can." He said in earnest and Remus smiled. He crawled under the covers and let Harry spell the pruniness away. They cuddled together, Remus' head resting on Harry's shoulder while the dark-haired boy's fingers carded through his tawny locks. 

"I've been thinking about it, a lot, even my fingers were frowning…" Harry rolled his eyes; he would sorely miss this wonky sense of humour. "And I decided to have these three weeks with you. I mean I could sulk and mope just the same after you leave, so I might as well enjoy your undoubted charms while I still can." Harry let out a sigh of relief, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears, 

"Oh, gods I'm so glad. I had a whole speech prepared to try and win you over." 

"Was it any good?" Remus turned to lean on his elbow, looking Harry deep in the eye, 

"Not really, I figured that as a last resort I'd use my body to get you to change your mind." He said with a wicked smile, which was mirrored by Remus, 

"Hmm, that sounds like a splendid idea."


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently in the original books Remus was a prefect. He isn't here.

  
**JADED**

..oo00oo..

Chapter Twenty-Five: Cry me a river  
(I'm not sure who's the original singer, but my favourite version is by Joan Baez)

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Remus was the first to wake up on the morning of the twelve. For a moment he simply laid there, eyes closed and fingers running up and down Harry's arm, which was thrown over his chest. Then Remus opened his eyes, looking down at the shaggy head of his lover and sighed, that's right, tonight after dinner Jaime was going to leave him, go back to that stupid school of his- Durmstrang… Remus tried not to be bitter about it all, he really was. But the whole mystery enveloping Jamie sudden departure kept Remus feeling a little cheated on. What was so bloody secretive that Jamie wasn’t even able to say why he was really leaving?

He felt his boyfriend stirring in his arms and looked down to see the lovely aquamarine eyes, looking up at him blearily, soft with sleep and love. 

"Good morning." He said with a forced smile and Harry returned his head to Remus' chest, wrapping his arms tighter around him. Nothing was good about this morning, and nothing would be good about this day. 

"You know, this is going to be the last time we wake up together…" Remus mused out loud and Harry sighed and closed his eyes, wishing he could fall asleep again and forget about what was going to happen later. 

"Gods, I wish things could have been different." Harry whispered, 

"Me too." They lay together, trying to prolong the moment as much as they could, before they would be forced to get up and go through the day, pretending to listen in classes and act as if they were not completely heart broken and miserable beyond belief.  
 ****

\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--

As predicted, the day wasn’t a happy one for Harry, he felt like an inferi, a living dead, just going through the motions and feeling nothing at all. At least Sirius' 'genius' plan to throw Harry a big going away party was dropped when Harry nearly burst in tears.

Dinner time found Harry pocking and playing with his food with no real enthusiasm, to him it felt like a giant clock was timing the last minutes with his loved ones, tick-tick-ticking away the seconds and bringing Harry's forced leave closer. A soft hand was laid on his back and he looked up to see Remus. The werewolf offered his hand and Harry took it without hesitation. 

Together they made their way in silence through the halls and reached the Room of Requirements. Inside the room were a large sofa and a merrily crackling fire. Without a word the two settled on the sofa, holding each other tight and not saying a word. It was too late for words and there was nothing more to say. 

Harry buried his face in Remus' chest, inhaling the scent of his lover and finding comfort in it. Remus flicked his wand and soft music started to play, a disembodied voice filling the room in a slow song. The song was unfamiliar to Harry and he simply let himself be carried away by the tune until he caught the lyrics, 

"Long afloat on shipless oceans,   
I did all my best to smile,  
Till your singing eyes and fingers,   
Drew me love to your isle,   
And you sang:  
Sail to me,   
Sail to me,  
Let me enfold you,   
Here I am  
Here I am   
Waiting to hold you…" 

Harry bit his lip and sighed, it was no chance that Remus chose this song. Harry was his siren, luring him to his isle with beauty and charms and then letting Remus crush on the rocks of uncertainty and solitude, 

"Did I dream you dreamed about me?  
Were you hare when I was fox?  
Now my foolish boat is leaning   
Broken lovelorn on your rocks,  
For you sing,   
Touch me not,   
Touch me not,   
Come back tomorrow:  
O my heart, O my heart shies from the sorrow." 

"I am puzzled as the newborn child  
I am troubled at the tide:  
Should I stand amid the breakers?  
Should I lie with Death my bride?  
Hear me sing,   
Swim to me,   
Swim to me,   
Let me enfold you:  
Here I am,   
Here I am,   
Waiting to hold you…"

Remus mouthed with the song- Here I am, waiting to hold you. He would wait too, he had no choice. Jaime would always be his captor, the one who stole his heart and Remus knew, as clear as the first daylight breaking over the horizon and with all the certainty of 18 years old boy whose heart broke for the first time that he would never love anyone ever again.

Truth be told, Remus hadn't exactly meant to play this particular song, but this final line kept running in his head all day, and the Room simply granted his subconscious wish.  
A quiet knock was heard and a moment later Draco's head appear around the frame,

"Hmm, Jaime, it's time to go." He said hesitantly clearly not comfortable with the thought of separating the pair on the sofa. Harry nodded solemnly and rose to a sitting position, with Remus reluctantly following. Harry cupped Remus' cheek with his palm, looking his werewolf straight in the eye, 

"I love you, I will always love you, please remember that." Remus nodded, his throat suddenly closing. He wanted more than anything to cry out his misery but he knew it would take a while before the tears came. Sometimes he really envied Jamie for his ability to cry so freely. Harry ran his fingers over the pendant Remus wore, "Whatever happens, I will find you again, I promise." He whispered, caressing the pendant lovingly. He did not dare to look Remus in the eyes, because although he fully intended to fulfill this promise he knew it would take at least 20 years before he could say 'I love you' to Remus again. 

"I know." Remus pressed his forehead to Harry's, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths to calm the storm inside him. Harry tried to prolong the moment as much as he could but he knew that the time alcove would not be there forever and if he missed it this time it would cause more harm than good and as much as he preferred to stay with Remus and Sirius and his family he wasn't ready to take the chance of messing things further up in the future. Harry rose slowly to his feet; his eyes fixed on the smoldering ambers of his lover's eyes and bit his lip, trying to offer a sad smile which looked more like an awkward pout. 

He felt Draco's fingers slip to entangle with his own and let the other boy drag him to the door, his eyes never leaving Remus. As soon as the door closed behind his back, Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He squeezed Draco's hand in silent thanks and together they started making their way to the lower levels towards the potions class,

"Are you alright?" Draco asked after a while, 

"No." Harry answered flatly. He walked with his head bowed and his steps heavy, like a man going to his execution rather than home. Part of Draco wanted to shout and scold Harry for ruining his joy about going back home, but most of him was just glad he wasn’t in Harry's place. 

"Harry, I…" Draco fumbled with the words, not knowing quite what to say; he wasn’t in the habit of offering consolation especially not to his former enemy, 

"It's ok, Draco," Harry cut through his bumbling raising his free hand, "I'm going to be fine." Draco nodded reluctantly, silently admitting defeat and they continued their way in silence.   
When they reached the bowels of the castle they saw Dumbledore standing there already, eyes fixed on an empty spot in the wall before him. When he heard the two of them he barely spared them a glance before resuming his intent gazing, 

"Good evening Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter, the alcove should appear momentarily. Make your selves comfortable, it shouldn't be long now." Draco led Harry to stand behind the headmaster, both leaning their backs against the stone wall. 

The sound of running feet distracted Draco from his dark thoughts, and he looked up to see Lily skidding around the corner, panting and smiling, 

"Oh, phew, I thought I missed you guys." Harry looked up startled at the sound of his mother's voice, 

"Lily, what are you doing here?" Lily walked up to him, running her hand on through his hair in a fond gesture, 

"You didn’t really think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye?" She said with a falsely brave smile, "How are you holding up, Izzie?" She asked quietly and that all it took for the dam to brake. Big, fat, miserable tears filled Harry's eyes and spilled over the rim with such force Draco was momentary scared Harry's eyes would drop out along with his tears. Harry felt his throat constricting and his air supply cutting off, letting only painful sobs out, 

"I d-don't want t-to go…" He chocked out, and Lily immediately wrapped him tight in her arms, "Oh, g-gods, mummy… I want to s-stay here…" At the word 'mummy' Lily's eyes filled with tears of her own. It was the first time in their whole time together that Harry ever called her that, and more than anything it brought home the fact that this was her son, her baby. 

"Sh… it's ok, baby," She whispered to Harry, rocking him gently and sniffling her own misery. "Everything's going to be alright…" It was quite amazing how easy the mother stance came to her, and at any other given moment Lily would probably laugh in disbelief or hex anyone who told her she will be in this position one day, but right now all she wanted was to ease her child's pain, even if only a friction. 

"Don't leave me mummy…" Harry murmured into Lily's shoulder, finally letting go of the enormous burden that was weighing on him since he found out he was going back home. He tried to be so strong, for Remus and Lily and the others, and mostly for himself but this was the last time he would ever see his parents alive and he wanted nothing more than to hold his mother for as long as he could, even take her with him, save her from the monster that would steal any chance of Harry ever having a loving family. 

"I'm not leaving you; we'll see each other again, right?" Harry sobbed harder at this; he wanted to shout 'No, I won't! You don’t understand!', instead he wrapped his arms more firmly around Lily and refused to let go. 

"I love you so much." 

"I love you too, baby." She pressed a kiss to the black hair and pulled back a little, looking at her son through red-rimmed green eyes. She wiped her thumbs on Harry's cheeks, brushing away the tears and smiled amide hers, "You're going to be just fine. I'm so proud of you." Harry nodded and swallowed hard, not daring to speak lest he crack again. 

Draco, who watched the scene from the side refused to succumb to the prickly feeling behind his eyes. Instead he blinked rapidly and looked to the side, watching with detached indifference as the alcove appeared, dark and bleak at the wall on the other side. Dumbledore clapped his hands with satisfaction at seeing the alcove appearing and turned to his young charges, starting a little when he saw Lily there, 

"Why, Miss Evans, what are you doing here?" Lily wiped her face with her handkerchief and smiled at the headmaster, 

"I came to bid my son goodbye." She said with a slightly challenging tone, and Dumbledore nodded, 

"Very well, but hurry up, the alcove would not stay here forever." Lily nodded and turned back to the boys. Harry was wiping his face furiously with a handkerchief Draco pressed into his hand, sniffling miserably and Draco looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t quite know how to word it. Lily quirked her brow at him and Draco pulled himself to his full height, 

"Lily," He began formally and Lily did her best to hide a smile, "It was a pleasure to meet you, I…" Lily waved her hand impatiently, 

"Relax, you're going to hurt yourself," She said with dry amusement and Draco's cheeks flushed pale pink with indigence, "It was great meeting you too." She said graciously, and patted Draco's arm fondly, "You can tell Narcissa she did a great job with you. Tell her… tell her the flower brigade sends her love. She'll understand." Draco nodded mutely, not fully understanding but not daring to question what clearly was a secret between his mother and this girl. "And promise me you'll take good care of my baby, ok?" Draco nodded again this time without hesitation. 

"Alright, yeah." He said feebly, holding himself up with the last scrap of his self-control. 

"Bye Alex," Lily caught Draco in a fierce hug, not giving him a choice but to return it, which he did, gladly. 

"Bye, Lily." When they broke apart Lily turned to the sniffling and blinking Harry, pulling him flush against her again, 

"Bye baby, take care." Harry nodded and took a deep breath, trying to keep a tight reign on his feelings, 

"Bye mum." He said huskily, his voice scratchy from crying. Lily released him and Draco took Harry's hand again, leading him to the alcove. Harry looked back at his mother, who was waving, smiling and crying at the same time, 

"Have safe trip boys." Was the last thing Harry heard before he stepped into the alcove and let the darkness enfold him. 

It took only three steps. There wasn’t any whooshing feeling of being sucked into another dimension or anything; it was just a short walk from one end of the alcove to another. When Harry opened his eyes he saw the stone walls of the dungeon corridor and Dumbledore's beaming smile. Harry could almost believe it didn’t work and he was still in 1978, but then he saw that instead of a teary Lily at Dumbledore side was a cheery Hermione who squealed in glee when she saw her friend and rushed to hug Harry. Draco tried to discreetly let go of Harry's hand but the latter tightened his hold on the blond's hand.

"Oh, gods, Harry! You're finally back. I was so worried when I found your letter, I didn’t even notice you were gone; I was in the library studying and then I was looking for some light reading and guess what I found! Gods, I was completely shocked, I ran to Dumbledore and told him all about it trying to get you back as fast as possible… Harry, you look dreadful, what's wrong?" Hermione finally slowed down to get some air and released Harry from her hug to see the forlorn expression on his face. Draco pushed her backwards, 

"Granger, give the guy some room to breath!" He cried, and Hermione's eyes turned wide and round like saucers. She looked at Draco suspiciously, logically she knew it was him, because Harry had told her in the letter that he and Draco went through the alcove together but the guy who was defending her friend looked nothing like the Draco Malfoy she remembered. Come to think of it, Harry didn’t quite look like himself either… 

"I'm so glad to see you two are back unscathed," Dumbledore said happily and waved his wand at the two of them, removing the glamour his junior self had put and Hermione gave a little sigh of relief, "I suggest you two take the weekend to regroup yourself and catch up with your work, I expect to see you both in class Monday morning." He said pleasantly and then swept past them, leaving the three alone in the hall. Draco glanced at the wall and saw that the alcove had closed himself, leaving a blank wall at his wake. He only hoped Harry didn’t see it. 

"Weekend?" He asked as he turned to face Hermione again, "Dumbledore said it would be a week," Hermione gave him a puzzled look and he explained impatiently, "We left on Tuesday the twelve of May, what day is it today?" 

"Friday the fifteen." Hermione answered curtly. Now that Draco was back to looking like himself it was much easier to sneer at him. "You were gone three days." 

"Felt more like seven months." Draco said with a shrug. Well, at least they won't have too much school work to catch up on. A strain silence followed, in which Draco and Hermione stared at each other trying to figure out how to get the hell out of there, and Harry stood between them, looking lost and dejected. Eventually Draco decided to take matters into his hands, 

"Look, Granger, just give Harry some time, alright? He's been through a lot, he just needs some space." Hermione's jaw dropped and Draco gave her a triumphant smirk. Unnerving Gryffindors was always fun, no matter what the year was… And Hermione Granger, smartest witch of the year or not was certainly no match to Lily Evans! 

"Alright…" Hermione said, completely shocked at herself for agreeing with Draco Malfoy of all people. Draco turned to Harry, and the latter lifted dull green eyes to him, 

"Hey, Jaime, I'll see you later, yeah?" Harry nodded and tried to smile, 

"Yeah, sure Alex." Draco smiled at him and turned to leave, his heart feeling light and happy at being back where he belonged, while burdened with concern for his friend. Draco smiled at the thought that had someone told him that all it took for him and Harry Potter to finally burry the hatchet and become best friends is seven months marooned twenty years in the past he'd laugh his head off and have that person committed to the mental maladies ward in St. Mungo's.

Hermione looked at the retreating back of Draco, knowing full well that these seven months changed much more than just Harry's animosity with Draco. She was burning with curiosity but at the same time she knew that she would respect her promise to Draco and leave Harry alone to sort himself out, and just be there for him when he'll be finally ready to talk.   
"Come on, 'Mione, let's go to bed." Harry said heavily. He had two days to sort himself out before he would have to face the world, well the school again. Two days before he'll have to face Remus again, oh gods, Remus… 'Merlin, give me strength to face him again' Harry prayed silently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just in case you're interested, Narcissa is a year older than Lily (I didn't check it canon-wise, and frankly, I don’t really care- the whole point of writing my own fic is doing whatever I want, right?), and they met through being prefects. Prefect meetings led to study sessions and a secret friendship between the two girls, (Narcissa is a Black after all and they all have their little quirks), and the name 'Flower Brigade' started out as a joke but soon became their code name. code names are always fun, especially if all you're doing with it is passing notes and get together for a bit of girl-chat.


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

**JADED**

..oo00oo..

Chapter Twenty-Six: Here comes your ghost again  
(Title from 'Diamonds and rust' by Joan Baez, album 'Diamonds and rust')

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Miserable. It was the only word Hermione could think of to describe Harry these days. Ever since he came back from 1978 Harry was gloomy. No amount of subtle coaxing caused him to say why, though, and Hermione was left to speculate what happened in the seventies that made Harry so forlorn. 

At long last she reached the conclusion that it was something to do with his parents and Sirius. After all, what else, save meeting his parents, flesh and blood and not being able to tell them you are their son could bring a person's sprits so low? 

Ron, on the other hand, was blissfully ignorant about the whole affair. In a fit of crazy inspiration Dumbledore told the rest of the school that Harry and Draco were sent to a three days long detention to end their childish rivalry once and for all. Ron, like the rest of the school assumed that Harry was simply depressed by having to spend even a whole day with Malfoy and on one else. Needless to say no one bothered to correct his assumption. 

As for Harry himself, he was just plain down. It was true he missed his parents, the first impression he got that they were some sort of wonky version of Ron and Hermione proved to be completely wrong. Lily was much livelier and Harry knew for a fact now that his own disregards to rules hadn't come from James as Snape liked to snarl at him, but from Lily. It was also true that he missed Sirius and their animagus lessons, but mostly he missed Remus. 

The vortex of feelings inside him was something that Harry wasn't quite used to. On the one hand, he was sad and miserable to leave Remus behind, especially when he finally got to hear the words he so desperately wanted, which in turn made his heart swell and his head swim with goofy giddiness. On the other hand he was scared, dreading the moment he would have to face Remus again. The older, mature Remus, the one that sees him as nothing more than a student.   
Sunday bloomed with the brightest blue to be seen all year. All the students could practically taste the end of the year and there was a bubbling excitement all over the castle, even Head Girl Hermione Granger was seeing dipping her feet in the lake during lunch time. 

Harry sat curled into himself at the Gryffindor stands, his usual refuge during his stay in the seventies, looking at the rippling water of the distant lake as if in a trans. In less than twenty-four hours he would have to meet his destiny, he would have to endure two hours of DADA, looking at Remus, no- Professor Lupin talking. Harry knew that he would not be able to concentrate, not on the class anyway. He wanted to tell Remus the truth, to have it done with and know once and for all if what they shared would remain buried in the past or not. Oh, sweet Merlin he hoped not. 

Hermione crept up the stand, bare footed and holding her shoes in one hand. She's been making tabs on what Harry's been doing since he came back and she knew this was his little escape spot. She looked at her best friend for a while, seeing how Harry stared into space with a blank expression that was just as sad as it was empty. She sighed and cleared her throat. Harry turned his head and looked as Hermione made her way to sit by his side. He didn’t say a word but returned his gaze to the lake. Hermione put her shoes on in silence, drawing time to see if Harry would say something but soon realized she would have to be the one to start, 

"So this is where you're hiding these days…" Harry shrugged but refused to acknowledge her presence further, but Hermione wasn't about to give up and she prattled on bravely, "You know, they say that it could really help talking about what's bothering you. I'm not going to try and press you for information; of course, I'm just saying that if you need an ear, I'm always happy to oblige, criticism free. And I promise none of this would travel further, not even to Ron." Harry lowered his head and stared at his hands for a while, while Hermione waited with bated breath to see if Harry would take her up on her offer, 

"I miss them." He whispered and Hermione smiled slightly, happy that Harry was finally opening up to her, 

"I know." She contemplated putting a comforting hand on his back, but when Harry lifted his head she could see that shine of tears and decided against it, so she just sat and listened, giving Harry all the time he needed to work it for himself, 

"Something happened, when I was there, something that probably shouldn’t have happened." Harry continued with that same flat tone, as if he was reciting something rather than feeling it, 

"What was it?" Hermione asked gently, and Harry gave a small smile, 

"I fell in love." Hermione fought a momentary desire to smack Harry's head, and here she was thinking he did something awful that would prevent things from taking their right course, 

"And what's wrong with that?" 

"With Remus." Harry answered heavily. Hermione's jaw dropped, 

"Remus? As in Professor Lupin, Remus?" Harry nodded gloomily, while Hermione was trying to get her head round the fact, "Wow, I mean… Wow… Professor Wow… just…" 

"Want to make those wows an even ten?" Harry asked sarcastically, it wasn’t that he didn’t expect Hermione to react like that, but it was still annoying that she did. 

"So what happened?" Hermione took a deep breath and told herself over and over again that she was here for Harry, and therefore shouldn’t take his barbs to heart, 

"We were a couple, for six months." Harry answered simply. Gods, it felt so alien to talk about his relationship with Remus in past terms. He only left two days ago, and he was missing Remus like mad. And now it's been twenty years… this was so confusing…

"Blimy." 

"Yeah." 

"So, when you say you were a couple, you mean you two were… intimate?" Hermione tried to be as diplomatic as she possibly could in her efforts to get down to the root of the problem. Harry on the other hand was rather amused, 

"Is that your girly way of asking if we shagged? Then yes, we did, a lot." And it was the most brilliant thing that ever happened to me, he added to himself, not very interested to get down to the dirty details with his best female friend. 

"I take you haven’t had the chance to see Professor Lupin yet." Harry shook his head, 

"No, and I have no idea what I'm going to do when I do see him." 

"Do you still feel the same?" 

"Yes." 

"Even though he's twenty years your senior?" Hermione asked incredulously, the mere idea of being infatuated with an older man seemed a bit wrong to her. She always imagined herself falling in love and marrying someone her own age or at least no more than five years older than her. What on earth would you have to talk about with a guy who could be your father? Who in fact was your father's best friend? 

"Yes. In a way I guess I always loved him." Harry answered sadly, and Hermione waved her hand in dismissal, 

"Well, of course you have, as your parents' friend, possibly as a mentor…" 

"No, I mean I was attracted to him, way before I went back in time." Harry insisted and Hermione tried to hide a disgusted grimace, 

"But Harry… That's…" Harry stared at her and she smiled guiltily, shrugging and embarrassed, 

"Didn’t you ever have any fantasies about a teacher?" To Harry it seemed perfectly acceptable that Hermione of all people would have sexual fantasies of their staff, after all the girl could get an orgasm from reading bits of "Hogwarts: A history", 

"No!" Harry shrugged, well; to be truly honest it wasn’t the fact that Remus was a teacher that was making him all hot and bothered. "So, what are you going to tell Remus when you see him?" 

"Nothing. He probably doesn’t even remember Jaime." Harry's heart gave a painful lurch at the thought of Remus forgetting about him, 

"Who's Jaime?" Hermione had meant to ask Harry about the code names he and Draco used when they came through the alcove but the moment never seemed right before. 

"Jaime was my alias, it went with my glamour. My mum was the only one who knew the truth about me." If possible talking about Lily was even more painful than talking of Remus, gods he missed him mum so much… 

"She did? How did she find out?" 

"She was smart. And she saw us before Dumbledore had a chance to put the glamour on us. She thought I was my father." He smiled sadly at the memory, Lily's shocked face turning blank when Dumbledore's memory spell hit her. 

"Wasn’t she completely freaked out?" 

"She thought it was some sort of cosmic joke. I'm glad I got to know her, no one ever told me anything about my mum, sometimes I felt like I was born out of thin air because no one would tell me stories of her. But she was something else, she was brilliant. Even Draco took a fancy to her." Hermione burst out laughing, and even Harry cracked a smile, 

"Poor Malfoy, he probably didn't know what hit him." 

"You should have seen his face when he told me he's 'attracted to her intellect'." The laughter grew louder and soon Harry couldn’t resist. It felt good to laugh, to talk to Hermione. Although she didn’t offer any practical solution to his little problem she didn’t judge him either, just as she promised and Harry felt better despite himself.   
****

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Harry walked into the DADA class that Monday feeling like he was about to burst with the conflicting emotions that were rising in him. So far he managed to avoid seeing Remus; mostly because he skipped all meals in the Great Hall during the weekend and today it was Remus who seemed to be skipping meals.

Hermione watched Harry with trepidation, not sure what would be his reaction to Professor Lupin. It still seemed strange to her to think of Harry as in love with an older professor, even if she knew that technically when they were together Professor Lupin wasn’t older or indeed a professor. She silently guided Harry to the back of the class; gesturing Ron to take the seat on Harry's other side.

Remus walked into the classroom, feeling tired and agitated. Today was definitely not his day! It started bad when he stubbed his toe on the foot of the bed first thing in the morning and then there was the stupid Bogart that had escaped the wardrobe during his third year lesson and he had to endure nearly an hour of Filch's ranting about having to track down wayward Bogarts all over the castle. And now yet another tedious class… Well, at least it was the last one of the day and Remus fully intended to go back to his rooms afterwards and relax with a large whiskey and one of favourite records. He was so glad a simple muggle gramophone managed to work in the electricity-challenged castle that he usually spent most of his vacations and extra money hunting down old records. 

As soon as Remus entered the classroom he felt something was wrong. It was like a prickly feeling in the back of his neck, as if the little hairs there were standing on end. Remus turned around to scan the class, just to make sure all was in order and the first thing his eyes encountered were the green orbs of Harry. Remus blinked and tried to place the uneasiness he felt. He knew that Harry had been in a special detention during the weekend, something he personally thought was a real daft idea of Dumbledore's but that fact alone shouldn’t unsettle him so. He shook his head to get rid of the feeling and faced the class. 

The second Remus walked into the class Harry felt his heart rate increase. He didn’t want to look at Remus, he didn’t want to remember but he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. And then, horror of horrors, Remus looked at him and Harry felt like all the air in the room was sucked out and he couldn’t draw even the shallowest breath. As soon as those smouldering eyes left him, he sank back in his seat, feeling exhausted. He slid down in his seat, as low as he could and did his best to tune out Remus' voice, burying his head in his arms. 

Draco watched the scene from the other side of the room, taking it all in, from Professor Lupin's uneasiness to Harry's reaction to him. What he really wanted to do was put Lupin under a full body bind and then give Harry veritaserum so that all the secrets were finally out and over with. From the time he spent with Harry in the seventies he knew that it wouldn’t take too long before Harry's honest nature prevailed and he would approach their professor, but at the same time Draco knew that Harry would torment himself to the point of insanity just the same. 

The lesson seemed to be going on and on forever, and Harry felt like standing up and just yelling out as loud as he could. But instead he stayed frozen in his balled up position, not daring to look at Remus and not daring to look at Draco. He wanted Remus to stop talking but at the same time he wanted to hear more and more of that voice, he wanted to run away from the classroom but then he really didn’t want to be away from Remus. He was going insane, yes, that was it- he was going completely and utterly bonkers and it was all Remus' doing. 

"Class dismissed." Remus called with an enormous sense of relief, when the time was finally right. He looked up again at the last row, where Hermione was trying to coax Harry into getting up from what looked like a slumber. Remus felt a little pang of disappointment, sure students falling in his class was not a new thing, but he always thought that Harry liked his class… Shutting his bag with a snap Remus walked down the aisle between the desks, heading towards the last row. 

"Mr. Potter, can I have a word?" Harry gulped and sent frantic and pleading looks at Hermione, 

"Sir, you have to forgive Harry, he's been a little out of sorts since he came back from his… detention." Hermione tried to plead, and Remus smiled kindly at her, waving his hand, 

"Don’t worry Miss Granger, I don't intend to rebuke Harry, I simply wish to know how he's doing." 

"Oh, well, that's alright then." Hermione said desperately, out of ideas of how to stall for time. 

"I promise I'll have him back by tea." Remus said with a smile and Hermione returned it before she and Ron side stepped the professor. Harry looked after his friends with avid eyes, not sure what he wanted more- them leaving or staying. Hermione turned and mouthed 'Tell him' behind Remus' back, gesturing towards him with a dramatic eye roll. Harry nodded feebly and lowered his head again. When the classroom door closed behind Hermione's back Harry looked around and realized that they were all alone. 

"How about a nice cup of tea in my rooms?" Harry nodded again, mostly because he couldn’t think of a proper excuse to refuse and knowing that deep down he didn’t want to refuse. He followed behind Remus, and they entered the private rooms of the DADA professor. Although Harry was inside this room many times and under several professors, this time he felt a little uneasy going inside Remus' sanctuary. Harry perched himself carefully on the edge of the sofa and wondered how the hell he would approach the subject of telling Remus who he really was.   
Remus walked over to his little 'Tea corner' tapping the cattle which started steaming and busied himself, mechanically placing tea bags inside mugs. The uneasy feeling he had before had returned, stronger by a tenfold, and Remus opened his senses, trying to pinpoint where it came from. Smell, it was some sort of scent that was driving him insane, something he knew was familiar, something he'd known well before but right now eluded his memory. He brought the tea mugs over and above the familiar earl grey steams he could feel the scent getting stronger as he approached his student. Remus blinked and tilted his head to the side, looking at Harry suspiciously. Harry wrapped his hands around his tea mug and tried to feign casualness even though his heart was racing and his whole body was fidgeting under the scrutiny of Remus. 

"Is everything alright, Re… Sir?" He asked, cheeks reddening at his little slip of tongue, 

"There's something… I know it, I just can't remember…" Remus mumbled, knowing that if he'd just stop thinking about this altogether the answer would come in a bang but the scent was now all around him and he couldn't possibly think of anything else, "And it's coming from you… You smell…" He trailed and Harry bristled a little, 

"I took a shower this morning!" He said with a pout and Remus caught himself and smiled, 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that you smell bad," Far from it, you smell delicious, like innocence and lust, Remus thought fondly and then caught himself for the inappropriate thoughts, "Your scent, it reminds me… I can't quite put my finger on it, you smell like…" 

"Jaime?" Remus' head snapped up, eyes wide and jaw slack, from all the things Harry could have said in an answer to this, 'Jaime' was the last one he expected to hear, 

"What did you just say?" 

"I do, don't I?" Yes, Remus had to admit that the scent was Jaime's and the knowledge suddenly brought on an influx of mixed emotions and memories. He sat heavily on the sofa opposite Harry, completely flabbergasted, and buried his head in his hands, letting the initial shock pass, and make room for the questions, 

"How do you know about Jaime? Did Sirius tell you about him?" It didn’t seem very likely but that was the only explanation Remus' shocked brain could come up with, 

"No. I know because I am Jaime." Harry said quietly, knowing all too well that this was the easy bit and now the hard work would start. 

"What?" 

"I am Jaime." He repeated patiently, biting his lip to keep the little smile from escaping, Remus was so darn cute when baffled. Remus rose from his seat and started to pace in front of the sofa, 

"Is this some kind of sick joke that you and your friends decided to play on my expanse? Because it's not funny!" Harry gaped at him, 

"It's not a joke!" He cried desperately, "I smell like Jaime because I am Jaime!" 

"But how is this possible?" Remus rubbed his face; this was so wrong- after all this time… 

"Draco and I fell through a time alcove and ended up in 1977." Harry said flatly, feeling like a complete idiot, "Please Remus, you've got to believe me…" Remus snorted in disbelief, and Harry stood up and tried to take a step forward but was stopped by Remus' warning hand, "I used to bring you bacon sandwiches to the infirmary after the full moon," He pleaded, "I'm the one who gave you that pendant for your 18 birthday." Remus' hand flew to the pendent on his neck, the one he hadn’t taken off since he got it. His fingers found the warm wood, caressing it softly as he did every time things got a little too much for him. But he still looked at Harry with a non-believing stare and the youth was starting to get desperate, "I… I wa… Look!" He said firmly and closed his eyes, concentrating hard. When he heard the shocked gasp beside him he knew he pulled it off. Remus sank to his knees slowly, his hand covering his mouth. In front of him was a sight he thought he'd never live to see again, 

"Oh, good gods," He whispered and the dark wolf trotted to him, a little hesitant, and Remus brought up a shaking hand to burry in the soft fur, "Oh, Merlin… Seff…" Everything inside Harry was singing with joy, Remus recognised Seff, Remus remembered him. "I don't believe this," Remus shook his head, his hands running back and forth on the back of the wolf, not sure whether he should laugh or cry or just scream. "Well, I guess that would explain why you have green eyes…" He chuckled softly and Harry gave him a canine grin before transforming back to himself. 

"Do you believe me now?" He asked softly, wanting to take Remus in his arms but not daring to disturb the delicate acceptance that was formed between them. Remus looked at Harry, Harry who had all the body language and nuances of Jaime but didn’t look like him and turned his head away, crossing his arms over his chest, 

"It doesn’t matter whether I believe you or not." 

"Why?" Harry asked desperately, trying to reach for Remus' face but the latter flinched from the touch and got off the floor, leaving Harry to sit there and look up at him with doe eyes, "I said I'd come back for you." 

"That was twenty bloody years ago!" Remus snapped and Harry lowered his head, rebuked, and Remus sighed, yelling at Harry was like kicking a puppy… "What do you want from me, Harry?" He asked in a tired voice, 

"I still love you." Harry whispered, head lowered and eyes cast down, 

"You don't know anything about me!" Remus argued, this was so frustrating, Harry was thinking like a teenager, and Remus was long past that stage, and he felt so old all of a sudden, 

"I know you love me…" 

"You don't know anything!" Remus snarled and immediately regretted his harsh tone, because Harry looked even more dejected than before, his whole frame seemed to have shrank, 

"I know you still wear my pendant." 

"This?" Remus fingered the wood again, he probably should have torn the thing from his neck and toss it on Harry to prove his point but no force in the world would make him part with it, "This proves nothing. Jaime is dead to me." Harry's whole body started shaking with pain that was tearing through him, 

"How can you say that? I'm right here!" He cried, 

"You left!" 

"I had to!" 

"You left without a proper explanation; you disappeared off the face of the earth!" What did Harry expect of him? To fall into his arms and say that they would live happily ever after? 

"I had to go back, I had no choice!" Why was Remus being so difficult? Why couldn’t he see that Harry had no choice in the matter? 

"You lied to me Jaime, you knew from day one that you were going to leave," Harry nearly smiled at that, he wondered briefly if Remus still remembered their night in the prefect bathroom and that's why he chose this phrasing, "I hated you for so long…" 

"I'm sorry." Remus shrugged, turning his back and staring stubbornly at the wall, 

"Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter, it's too late now." Harry pulled himself off the floor, standing up with his fists clenched, 

"No, it isn’t! We still love each other and we can make it work!" Remus let out a bark of bitter laughter, 

"Make it work? How exactly are we going to make it work? Do you even know what happened to me in those twenty years? To you it seems like it have been days, but it's been years Harry, twenty long years… I'm too old for you." 

"You're thirty-seven, you're not old." Remus let out a startled laugh, it was sad that Harry was semi-quoting something he didn't even know… 

"You don’t even know what I've done," Remus said quietly, knowing that Harry would not want anything to do with him when he'll learn just how Remus spend the past twenty years, 

"Tell me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Dragon asked me how come Remus couldn’t smell Harry for Jaime, being a werewolf and all, and you know what- it makes so much sense (which is probably why I completely missed it…), so this chapter is dedicated to her. It was better than my original version that included very dodgy humour on Remus' part. 
> 
> Remus is thirty-eight, I know, but I can never resist Monty Python…   
> "I'm thirty seven, I'm not old, and I'm not a woman, my name is Denis…" Come on, haven’t you ever seen 'The holy grail'? Funniest movie I've ever seen.


	27. 27

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JADED

 

..oo00oo..

Chapter Twenty-Seven: A wolf's tale

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Remus took a deep breath, sitting down on the sofa, while Harry dropped himself onto the seat opposite him. Remus refused to look at Harry, almost refused to acknowledge the presence of the other man.

"When Jaime left I was broken. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, letting him go," He started in a hollow voice and Harry pulled his knees to his chest, feeling his heart breaking all over again because Remus slipped back into separating him and Jaime. "I was angry, so angry that he left like that, without a word, without an address or anything. I never thought I'd fall in love, but with Jaime I wanted to build a life, after Hogwarts. After he was gone I didn't know what to do and the anger drove me to do the one thing he hated most," 

"You hooked up with your old tricks." Harry whispered and Remus nodded in assent, a sad and faraway smile on his face, 

"Yes. Part of it was a strange backwards revenge, but most of it was trying to forget Jaime, to try and lessen the pain he left behind. It was a month of hell," He mused, "But then it got worse." 

"What happened?" Harry asked, concerned, 

"I graduated." Remus said simply and let out a dry laughter at Harry's puzzled face, "I never appreciated how good I had it in here, how safe. When I graduated it finally dawned on me, like a bloody ton of bricks, that there will be no more bacon sandwiches after the full moon, no shrieking shack to transform in, and no friends that take you as you are." 

"What did you do?" 

"What else could I do? I shacked up with Sirius, got ourselves a little pad in London, his money of course and went wild. This was the craziest time ever! We partied every night, both of us completely lost and clueless, we drank, shagged, snorted up and smoked pretty much everything we could get our hands on…" 

"You did drugs?" Harry asked disgusted. He was very much against drugs, especially after Dudley and his stupid friends started smoking weed, which didn’t make them any less violent or stupid. 

"Why not? You weren’t there to stop me, and Lily and James were far too absorbed in their little affair, so Sirius and I were just left to our own devices." Sometimes Remus wished he could look back on that time and remember it at least somewhat fondly, but he couldn't. He actually hated every second of that period, using the alcohol and drugs to dull his senses and forget, just forget and escape the reality he found himself in. 

"What happened then?" As painful as it was for Harry to hear this, he couldn’t stop himself from being enthralled by the tale, 

"You were born." Harry flushed a little at that, it was weird to think that Remus was there from his birth, hell the man knew him longer than he knew himself! "Lily and James were so happy… Lily always joked that if she didn’t have to nurse you she would never see you because James just took you wherever he went. I guess in a way your birth kind of brought Sirius and I back to earth. Sirius applied for Auror training and decided to clean up his act. Me, I was still lost, I did some odd jobs for the order but there aren’t many things a werewolf could do in the wizarding world. Not then and not now." Remus hated feeling like an outcast for something he had no control over, he had skills, he would have made a great Auror or a Healer or just about anything he wanted but he was never given a chance to see how he could have turned out. The wizarding world had labelled him as a monstrosity and a dangerous creature and there was nothing he could do against it. 

"That night my whole world crushed around me. If before I just lost a lover now I lost everything," with a wave of a wand he was left all alone in the world. 

"I lost everything that night too." Harry said quietly. For a long moment the two sat in silence, lamenting what could have been, 

"In the space of a week three of my friends were dead and the other one in jail. The only link I had left was you, and Dumbledore refused to let me have you." 

"You wanted to raise me?" Harry asked incredulously, gods how things would have different if Remus had taken him in… 

"Of course I did. I owed Lily and James that much. But Dumbledore decided you'd be safer with your relatives."

"Safe? With people who hated me for something I was? something I had no control over? People that lied to me for years about how my parents died and made me live in a fucking cupboard under the stairs…" How cruel can one person be? 

"I know, I hated Dumbledore for that, but in a way he had no choice, I mean who would give a baby to a junky werewolf who was practically a whore?" Well, Dumbledore phrased it much more subtly at the time but that didn’t diminish any of the hurt his words caused. 

"So what did you do?" Please tell me you stopped with the drugs and the tricks… Harry prayed inwardly. 

"I left. I didn't want anything to do with the wizarding world anymore; I didn’t care about the order, even though Dumbledore tried to lure me back in, saying we had to prepare for Voldemort's return since he wasn’t technically dead, but I didn’t want to have anything to do with it. I felt completely useless and alone so I left London and wandered west."

"You left England?" 

"Yes, but I didn’t get very far, I moved to Wales." Remus said with a smile, "I found myself in Swansea, in a small inn called 'The Lucky Dog'. The woman who owned the pub, Mrs. Derringer was a sweet old lady, at first she let me stay in exchange for some cleaning I did, but then she hired me to work down in the bar."

"So that's where you spent the thirteen years before you came here?" Well, that wasn’t so bad… Harry mused, at least there wasn't much of a gay population for Remus to choose from, or at least he hoped there wasn’t. 

"Yup, pretty much. I used to go to Cardiff on the weekends, there was a brilliant club there that I could just forget myself in," So much for no gay population… "It wasn’t a bad life, I actually liked staying there. Mrs. Derringer was the only one who knew my secret, and the fact that I was a wizard. Turned out she was a squib and so she didn’t mind I was a werewolf as long as I kept myself safe on the full moon and didn’t eat any of her costumers." Ah, good old Mrs. Derringer… a woman that would have made Arabella Figg seem normal.

"So why did you came back here?" Harry hoped the answer would be along the lines of 'For you' but he knew better than to put real faith behind it. 

"Mrs. Derringer died; she had a heart attack and was gone. The inn was left to her son and he didn’t want anything to do with it, so he sold the place to some contractor or other and I was out of a job and out of a home. I decided to go back to London, but two weeks into the process I was left without any money, so I had no choice but accept Dumbledore's offer to come here. He used to send me an owl every August, trying to get me to come and teach here. I think in a way he felt bad about what he said to me then, and he most definitely felt sorry for me for losing all my friends. Anyway, like I said I didn’t have much choice, so I came here, falling right back on Dumbledore's grace and feeling like a total failure." 

"You're not a failure!" Harry intoned firmly, determined to turn a blind eye to his love's faults. Remus shrugged and sighed, 

"That's what it felt like." The two sat in silence for a while, Harry was picking at a loose strand in the knee of his trousers and Remus tapped his fingers on the armrest of his seat. 

"So… Was it Sirius who got you to join the order again?" Harry asked after a while, desperately trying to blow the dying amber of the conversation back to life, 

"I'm not sure, I think it was mutual. He wanted revenge on Wormtail; I just wanted to be useful. And we both wanted to protect you."

"And then Sirius fell through the veil and it was all my fault." 

"No! It wasn’t your fault, never your fault Harry, you mustn’t believe that!" Remus cried, falling back to his mentor role. "Don't think that, if your parents or Sirius could have heard you they'd be really mad at you for saying such a thing!" Harry felt the prickling of tears and took a deep breath to get rid of them, "It's ok, Harry." Remus said softly, sinking to his knees and placing his hand on Harry's in a parental comforting gesture that made Harry even tearier than before. He pulled his hand from under Remus' and stood up shakily. 

"Thank you for telling me this, professor. I… shall be on my way now, with your permission, I am sorry for taking up so much of your time." He said in a strained voice, his eyes fixed on a spot just above Remus' shoulder, 

"Harry…" Remus sighed but didn’t move from his spot on the floor and didn’t try to stop the teenager as he opened the door. He simply looked after him, feeling like an old bastard for causing so much pain to the one he had sworn to protect. Harry walked to the door, feeling Remus' eyes on his back, but he forced himself to hold his head high. Up until the second the door clicked shut behind him he was expecting Remus to call him back, to say he was sorry and they could work on things, to say anything really. He leaned his back against the door, all his strength gone. 

"Harry, are you alright? What did he say?" Harry blinked and looked up, quite surprised to see both Hermione and Draco standing before him; apparently they've been waiting around to hear the news. 

"Nothing." 

"What do you mean nothing? You were there for over an hour." Draco complained loudly, hell if he had to endure an hour with Hermione Granger for the sake of Harry he deserved a bit more than a bloody 'nothing'! 

"He said I don't know him, that he's too old for me." Harry said flatly, suddenly devoid of all emotions. He just wanted to get to his bed and bury himself in the sheets and never leave it at least until he would graduate and leave this castle and Remus behind. Not being with Remus seemed like a death sentence to him, but not being with Remus while still being around Remus… Well, that was worse than death in Harry's eyes. "It doesn’t matter, I've given up. You were right, Draco, love isn’t worth it." Harry said heavily and pushed himself away from the door and forced his heavy feet to move. Hermione and Draco watched him leave. When Harry rounded the corner and vanished from their view Hermione turned on Draco with a fierce look, 

"What the hell did you tell him?" Draco did his best to look offended, which wasn’t too hard considering he was pretty hurt, 

"I never said anything about love not being worth it!" He cried. This was quite a shock for Draco, because even before he got to know Harry and like him for the person he was he always envied his ability to pursue his goal to the bitter end (or the happy end, depends on what said goal was…), seeing Harry that defeated wasn’t right. Hermione looked between the door of Professor's Lupin's quarters and the corner around which Harry disappeared and her face grew grim. Suddenly she reached a decision and turned to march over to the professor's quarters. Draco had just seen the determined Gryffindor about to charge and did the only thing he could, he jumped and grabbed Hermione bodily, wrapping his arms around her to prevent her from doing anything foolish. 

"Let me go, Malfoy!" Hermione cried out furiously, "I'm going to show professor Lupin exactly what happens when he messes up with Harry's head!" 

"Yeah I know!" He snapped, doing his best to get hold of the struggling girl without getting a hold of certain bits of a struggling girl, "That's why I'm stopping you! You can't just barge in there and accuse professor Lupin for not loving Harry, he's got every right not to!" Hermione stilled but Draco still held tight to her, just in case she was bluffing. 

"You're right." Hermione said with amazement. She sagged in Draco's arms, all her fighting spirit gone. It took them both a couple more seconds to realized what position they were in, but once they did they sprang apart as hastily as they could, standing embarrassed on the opposite sides of the door and refusing to look at each other, gods this was awkward, Hermione thought and felt her face flushing bright red. Not only did she made a complete fool of herself nearly charging into professor Lupin's rooms and hexing him, she ended up in Draco Malfoy arms of all people… "You're right." She said again once she got hold of her voice again, "But I'll tell you that, professor Lupin can consider himself a bloody lucky man that Harry loves him so much." She tossed her head back and marched down the corridor, every bit of her pose screaming righteousness. Draco shrugged and shook his head. Gryffindors.

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"Here's the fire protection potion and the burn-healing paste you requested, though I do not see why you would actually go out of your way to heal and protect pests that were daft enough to get burned in the first place," Remus rolled his eyes, you could never get a potion from Snape without a side of a creative criticism.

"Thank you, Severus." He said pleasantly and took the two vials from the potions master's hands,

"And I would appreciate it if you stop portraying me in drag during your Bogart training; it diminished my authority with the pests." 

"They are called students, you know. And besides, I think that last one, with the red cabaret dress was quite fetching." Remus smirked and Snape snorted at him, 

"You would think it, you poof!" Severus snarled and turned to leave, but Remus' voice stopped him at the door, 

"Severus, what's Draco Malfoy's middle name?" Severus turned to fix the DADA professor with one of his best scorching gazes, the ones he saved for students like Harry Potter and professors like Quirrell. 

"What's it to you?" 

"Humour me." 

"I believe Draco Malfoy's middle name is Alexander." Severus answered with a haughty voice. Remus felt cold all of a sudden, he sat down heavily and felt his whole body shaking. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Harry, after all what reason did the boy need to lie, but it still felt strange. "If I knew that a mere name would unsettle you so I would have told you Draco's middle name years ago." Remus lifted his eyes to Severus, if only he knew… 

"Do you remember a couple of blokes on our last year; one was in Slytherin while the other was in Gryffindor. They were transfer students from Drumstrang." 

"You mean Alex?" Despite himself Severus was fascinated, Remus nodded, "What of him?" 

"Alex, Alex Draconis… Draco Alexander Malfoy…" Come on, Snape, it's not that big of a brain teaser, Remus thought furiously, 

"Your point being?" Remus sighed and rubbed his forehead, 

"Draco and Harry fell through a time alcove and ended up in our last year of school." He said simply, and Severus stared at him as if he's grown another head. 

"You mean… Harry James Potter, Jaime…"

"Harrison, yes." Remus confirmed with a tired nod, 

"Weren't you involved with him?" Again Remus nodded, feeling too drained to say anything. Severus on the other hand looked as if Christmas had come early just for him. 

"Well, I'll be damned." He mused softly, "You're buggering a student."

"No, I'm not. I wasn’t a teacher than! Besides, you're the one to talk, Mr. Arithmancy…" Remus tossed back, irked at being stung like that, 

"I was not in love with Professor Black!" Severus cried and Remus gave him a sceptical look, 

"Having a lover whose best friends with a Slytherin has its advantages…" Severus pursed his lips, pushing back the thought of horrible ways to get back at Draco and Harry for spilling out his secret, but for now he would have to settle with taunting Remus. 

"Speaking of said lover, you have a bit of a situation on your hands I'll wager." He said with a huge smirk, and Remus seemed to have collapsed into himself. Well, this was no fun if the werewolf won't cooperate. "What's wrong?" He asked with a sigh, 

"Harry said he still loves me." Remus said quietly, knowing that telling Severus would probably bring on good advice, even if the way there would leave Remus feeling rather foolish. 

"So?" 

"What do you mean, 'so?' He's too young, he's Lily and James' son for Merlin's sake. He's my student!" Remus cried, repeating out loud all the reasons he gave himself to justify hurting Harry. 

"Of all the reasons you mentioned, there's only one you can do something about and that's going to change in less than a month." Severus answered levelly, "If I remembered correctly you were quite taken with him when he was back in our time." Which was probably the understatement of the century, Severus thought, in all the years he knew Remus Lupin never had he seen him this infatuated with another person, things couldn’t have changed that much over the years, especially if the rumours about his reckless life were true, classic compensation and self distraction route.

"Yes, I was. I loved him, more than anything. But that was then, things have changed." 

"He hasn’t changed," Unfortunately, Severus added inwardly, 

"What are you saying?" Remus asked suspiciously, and Severus frowned, what was he saying, really? 

"You've spent twenty years trying to forget Jaime only to have him back. Are you going to bugger up your second chance for happiness?" He said with a quirked eyebrow. His lips curled in a small smirk at the baffled and gob-smacked expression on Remus' face. Severus slithered his way to the door, slipping quietly though it, leaving Remus to his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just in case it didn't come out strongly enough, Remus and Severus are friends, not the kind of friends that go to drink together but the kind that has bonded over the fact that they've known each other for ages as teens and now find themselves together in Hogwarts. Besides, it's a good opportunity to get out all my sarcasm in a healthy way… Ok, fine, not all of it but at least a little bit. Long live the Snape!


	28. 28

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Super Drive  
('Super drive' is the opening song of the anime 'Gravitation')**

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

"We have to do something!" Hermione cried, waving her hands about and pacing around the room, "I just can't watch Harry going on like this anymore! He doesn’t sleep, he only eats if I practically shove food down in throat, this can not go on!"

"What do you suggest we do?" Draco had a weird sense of deja-vu, every time he and Granger got together since that night by Professor Lupin's door Hermione kept singing the same tune over and over again. Of course, the official reason for this little gathering was school work; ever since he came back from 1978 Draco felt that his studying habits have taken a turn to the worse. He naturally blamed Harry for that, since it was the dark-haired boy who was the first to discover the potential of slacking off in someone else's time, but now all that time he spent not studying in 1978 was coming back like a boomerang to bite him in the arse and two weeks before the NEWT's, Draco was desperate enough to turn to the only person who he deemed was smart enough to help him. The only problem was that these days Hermione seemed far more interested in Harry's mental health than schoolwork. 

"I don't know." Hermione sighed and slumped back in her chair. 

"Look, Granger, let's just try and work on this Arithmancy problems for now, things will sort themselves out eventually." Whether or not Harry and his werewolf were destined to be together Draco refused to have his final grades suffering. 

"I'm sorry, I can't concentrate right now, I'm going to head back to the tower. I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Draco shrugged, tomorrow would probably just be the same shit all over again. Harry this and Harry that- for the love of Merlin, can't the lad do anything for himself?!  
Hermione packed up her stuff and exited the classroom they chose to meet in. She made her way back to the Gryffindor tower, bracing herself to face yet another evening of Harry being completely morose and Ron trying to cheer him up by trashing Draco's name, which in turn made Harry even more morose… Oh, joy. 

She had just closed the portrait after her when a knock was heard. Hermione sighed and turn to open it,

"Neville, for the love of Merlin the password is still "Pump…" Hermione stopped short when she saw who was really at the door. 

"Good evening Miss Granger." Remus said pleasantly, and Hermione immediately bristled, 

"What can I do for you, professor?" She asked in the coldest tone she could muster. 

"I'm actually here to see Harry, if that's alright." Hermione surveyed the person standing before her, not sure what to do. If Harry had been sensible enough to fall for someone their own age she'd hex the bloke without a second thought, just like she did that snivelling, low-life bastard, Woodsman. But this was a professor, and that made all the difference. 

"You've really hurt him." She said at long last, just to make sure professor Lupin knew he would not get away with things so easy. 

"I know. That's why I'm here. I’m hoping to rectify things." Secretly Remus was quite proud of Hermione for being such a loyal and good friend to Harry, but right now she was standing in the way of his future happiness and if she didn’t move soon he was bound to lose his patience. "Where can I find him?" 

"He's probably up in his room, moping." Because of you, Hermione added to herself, knowing full well that Remus could read the accusation in her eyes. Remus took a deep breath and did his best to smile at the girl, though his insides were seething with anger. He did not need a little Lily-wannabe to remind him of what he's done! 

Harry was lying on his bed, his back turned to the door, and his body curled into a ball. So far Seamus, Dean and Neville had all been there to try and persuade him to come down to the common room. But Harry wasn’t in the mood for people; he didn’t feel like seeing anyone. The rational part of him knew that he was just being foolish, that Remus had every right to reject him and his reasons were valid ones, but his heart refused to accept any of them, because he didn’t care how old Remus was or if he was best friends with his parents, and he didn’t care that Remus was his teacher or that he was a werewolf or any of the things Remus deemed were so important. All he wanted was to have his loved one back in his arms again.   
A soft knock on the bedpost was heard and Harry sighed in frustration, 

"Go away, Ron! I'm not in the mood for your shit!" He grunted and curled further into himself hoping that Ron would be offended enough to just go, 

"Lucky me then." Harry rolled to his back so fast he nearly fell off the bed. He stared at Remus with wide eyes, not entirely believing the man was really there. It has been four days since Remus told him he didn’t want anything to do with him after all. 

"Remus, what are you doing here?" He blurted, pulling his knees to his chest almost as if wanting to defend himself against what Remus had to say, 

"Can we talk?" 

"Am I likely to commit suicide after this talk?" Remus bit his lip, trying not to laugh out loud, and lowered his head accepting the reprimand. 

"Good gods, I hope not. I just came to say that… I am sorry," Remus said, his eyes fixed on the bedpost and his long fingers scratching the wood, "And that…" He lifted his eyes to fix them on the wide green ones of Harry, "That is, to see if you're still interested…" Harry blinked a couple of times, please Merlin don’t let this be a dream, please, please, please…

"Are you serious?" Remus chuckled and sat down on the edge of the bed, 

"No, I'm actually Remus but I see how this could be confusing…" Harry's eyes narrowed at him, how can Remus be making stupid jokes at a time like this? "What?" Remus cried defensively, "James isn’t the only one allowed to make silly Sirius jokes!" 

"Do you really mean that? About wanting to be with me? You're not just messing with my head, are you?" Harry whispered, his heart beating so fast he thought it would burst, 

"No, I'm not. It took a lot of thinking on my part and a few derogatory comments on Severus' part to get me to realize that I've got a second chance at being happy and I'd be daft to waste it away." Harry smiled wide, rather appreciating the irony of his happiness lying in the hands of Severus Snape of all people, 

"Really, you really mean it?" He asked excitedly, 

"Yes." 

"Really?" 

"Yes." 

"Really, really?" Remus' smile grew wider,

"Yes." 

"You really mean it, you're not jus…" Remus clamped his hand softly on Harry's mouth, fearing this would go all night, 

"Yes, Harry, I do." He could feel Harry's lips curving into a smile under his palm, "But there's just one thing…" The smile was gone and Harry peeled Remus' hand off his face,

"You want to set conditions to be with me?" He asked in disbelief, 

"Well, it's not exactly a condition, more… a necessity…" Remus said sadly and Harry sighed in understanding, 

"You want to wait until I graduate." Remus nodded,

"Yes, it would be a real shame to finally have you again only to be thrown in Azkaban for shagging a student." Harry gave him a sceptical look, 

"You won't get thrown in Azkaban for that." He argued and Remus shook his head sadly, this lack of appreciation for dramatic flair was definitely a Lily trait, as poor Prongs learned all too well. 

"Maybe not, but I will lose my job." Harry shrugged, not really caring right now. He crawled towards the edge of the bed where Remus was sitting, purring softly, 

"So, you're saying that come the end of the school year you're going to be all mine?" He perched himself comfortably in Remus' lap, straddling him with his knees on either side of the professor and resting his buttocks on Remus' knees and wrapped his arms around Remus' neck. Remus wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, marvelling at the fact that he was holding his Jaime again. 

"Yes, are you happy?" Harry pulled back so that only his hands were still holding the back of the wolf's neck and pouted, 

"No! The end of school is ages away!" Remus shook his head in amusement, 

"It's in two and a half weeks." 

"Yeah, ages!" Harry said stubbornly, there was no way Remus was going to convince him that the next two and a half weeks won't feel like forever. "I'm going to have to sit in your class while you do your sexy thing and all I'll have to show for it is my bloody right hand!" 

"What sexy thing?" Remus couldn’t help but feeling flattered, after all it wasn’t every day that he was told he was doing something sexy, especially not by a gorgeous guy like the one currently sitting in his lap.

"You know, when you… talk…" Harry shrugged,   
"You think I have a sexy voice?" Remus was preening slightly. Harry smiled and leaned in to place a soft kiss on Remus' neck, 

"Sexy voice," and another kiss just under his earlobe, causing Remus to shudder, "Sexy eyes," a kiss on the jaw, "sexy body," a kiss on the chin, "And a super sexy arse…" He whispered against Remus' lips before capturing them in the kiss he's wanted to give his lover since he left him in the Room of Requirements.

"You really think I'm sexy?" Remus asked breathlessly when they finally parted, 

"Hell, yeah! I'm pretty much banking on my name to pass DADA, because if I'll have to go by your classes the examiners would think you're teaching advanced porn." 

"Even though I could be your father?" Remus was pressing the issue, which was starting to get on Harry's nerves a little, 

"Yeah, like Lily would let you anywhere near her." He snorted and slid down a couple of inches to Remus' lap, indicating he really didn’t care, 

"Like I would even try…" Remus said absently. Now that his issues has been met and dealt with, he wasn’t sure what to do. Part of him was sure that Harry would accept his reasoning and fall out of love on him by now, but now that he had the boy in his arms he was mightily glad Harry got James' stubbornness, "You really think I'm sexy?" 

"Very. Much. So." Harry saw the naughty glint in Remus' eyes and knew the conversation had shifted from traitorous waters of uncertainty into the warm sands of passion. 

"Tell me, then." Remus smiled wide at Harry's puzzled expression. 

"Tell you what? I just said that I fancy you…" 

"I want to hear just how much you fancy me, tell me how you fantasies on 'my super sexy arse'..." 

"Hmm, now that you mention it…" Harry purred seductively, and Remus smile grew wider before Harry's expression changed, "I'm not going to tell you about my fantasies!" He cried, cheeks flaming up.

"Why not?" 

"Well, it's embarrassing…" He confessed, lowering his head and refusing to look at Remus. 

"Why? We… might act them out…" Remus said suggestively, running his hands on the waistband of Harry's jeans, slipping his fingers just over the rim occasionally, 

"We already did," Harry said with a smirk, "Well, most of them anyway…" 

"Then make one up." 

"What, on the spot?" It usually took Harry at least three days to work out the details to create a fantasy to his pure satisfaction. Remus sighed. 

"You're no fun, you know that…" He pouted, was hearing a bloody fantasy was too much to ask? 

"Oh, alright," Harry pulled back and crawled back to his bed, leaning against the headboard, gesturing Remus to follow, which the wolf gladly did, with a feral smile on his face. Harry grabbed his wand from the nightstand and spelled the curtains closed and silenced. He then returned to snuggle with Remus who was gladly wrapping both his arms and legs around Harry, looking as eager as four years old for his bed time story. 

"Ok, well, this one starts with me going to detention with you." Harry was feeling very self-conscious right now, because having erotic dreams of Remus was one thing, telling said erotic dreams to Remus was another thing all together. 

"Why, what did you do?" Harry looked at Remus incredulously, who the fuck cares?

"I don't know, it's not important." 

"Well, I don't just hand out detentions you know…" Remus said defensively, and Harry sighed,

"Now who's being the spoilsport?" 

"Right, sorry, detention, my classroom at eight." Remus quickly said and cupped his face with his palm, resting on his elbow to listen carefully. 

"Right. So, I get to the classroom, ready to carry out whatever boring and magic-less task you have in store for me when I enter the classroom only to find a note on the board saying 'walk through this door' and the door to your rooms standing slightly open. So, being the good boy that I am, I walk past the door because I know that ditching detention would cause point deduction and such. As soon as I enter your room I see you sting on your chair wearing extremely tight slacks and knee-high boots…" 

"And a white fluffy shirt?" Harry grinned wide. 

"Exactly." 

"Well, that's not very original…" Remus complained, 

"Yeah, but it looked sexy on David Bowie and it'll look sexy on you." Harry stated firmly. "Anyway, I walk…”

"Can I wear leather?" Harry turned his head to his lover, looking rather exasperated. 

"What?" 

"Can I be in tight leather pants and no shirt on?" Remus asked eagerly, getting right into the story. Harry gave it some thought, well, Remus wearing nought but leather pants cannot be bad!

"Hmm, yeah, alright. So, I walk into the room, and I see you sitting in your chair with your leg tossed over the chair's arm, wearing only a pair of tight leather pants, barefooted and shirtless," 

"What colour?" Harry rolled his eyes, 

"Pink." Remus spluttered, 

"What? Pink leather isn’t sexy! It's camp!" He complained loudly, knowing that Harry was joking but he couldn’t help himself, 

"You know," Harry said thoughtfully, "You don't speak half as much in my fantasies…" Remus grinned sheepishly. 

"Sorry, carry on." 

"Right, well, like I said before I was so rudely interrupted yet again… I walk in and you sit there in nothing but your black leather pants and when you see me walk into the room you say…" 

"Dance magic, dance?" Harry tossed his head back, battling the urge to smack Remus, "Sorry, sorry, I just couldn’t resist…" 

"Do I need to hex you to keep you quiet?" Harry asked with his best menacing glare, which probably would have been more effective if Remus wasn’t practically squirming with laughter,

"Oh, my, how forceful you are Harry… Such a perfect specimen of manhood… So… Dominant…" Remus purred with glee and Harry pounced, pinning the laughing werewolf to the bed, and glowering down at him. 

"Alright, that was your last warning Mister. One more word out of you and you'll be tossed out and I'll just have to carry on by myself. Are we clear?" Remus bit his lip and nodded, his whole body shaking with spasms of laughter, "Good." Harry said regally and released his lover. He settled on his back again, allowing Remus to snuggle close to him, 

"So, I'm in your rooms, ready for my detention, while you sit there with your leather pants and bare chest and giving me looks that could only mean one thing. 'You've been a very naughty boy, Mr. Potter' you say, 'I believe a lesson might be in order, stand in front of the desk and spread your legs'. I look at you, slightly frightened at what exactly you're going to do to me and then when you growl at me I comply. 

My back is turned to you so I can’t see what you’re doing but I have a feeling you’re taking your time to appreciate my arse. I hear you move from the chair, your bare feet padding softly on the floor nearing me, until you’re almost pressed against me and I can feel your body heat on my back. I bite my lip and close my eyes, basking in your heat for a while, not knowing what you’re planning for me. Then I feel your hand caressing my backside, and my whole body tenses up, wanting more but not daring to make a move lest you stop.” 

While Harry was talking Remus slid his hand over his lover’s torso. He didn’t fully know where this was going but Harry’s hypnotic voice was washing over him and making him harder by the word. This was a whole new level of torture for Remus, as he knew that no matter what he was not allowed to take this to a higher level. Harry could feel his love’s erection pressing against his thigh and his hand running up and down his chest and closed his eyes. Gods that felt so good, much better than lying in bed and fantasising alone. 

“Why have you stopped talking love?” Remus growled in Harry’s ear, causing him to shudder. Harry smiled shakily, his thread of thought completely broken, 

“Right. Hum, well, as your hand continues to stroke my arse your other hand travels up my back scratching your way up, leaving marks. When you reach my neck your fingers tangle in my hair and you pull my head back so you can whisper in my ear ‘Are you going to be a good boy for me Mr. Potter?’ All I can do is moan, but you take it as a 'yes' anyway. You step away from me and I straighten up to see where you’ve gone and then you slap my arse playfully and say ‘Did I say you were allowed to move, Mr. Potter?’ I hastily shake my head and turn it back, resuming my previous position, arse up in the air...”

“Are you going to get naked at some point love?” Remus purred in his ear and for a moment Harry couldn’t decipher whether it was in his fantasy or not, but then the warm breath of his lover was ghosting on the shell of his ear, and he drew another shaky breath, 

“I thought I said no more interruptions, Professor.” Harry tried the best glare he could summon under the circumstances, along with a wicked smirk which had Remus pretending to zip his mouth shut. 

Harry thought about it for a moment and decides that Remus was right. He would probably need to remove some clothing. Looking at Remus from under his lashes he smirked again and removed his T-shirt. When he settled back into his lover’s arms he could feel Remus almost rumbling with frustration. From some reason that pleased Harry very much, 

“As I was saying, I resumed my position. I can hear you say ‘Remove your clothes Harry.’ So I slowly remove my shirt, I want to look back at you to see if you like what you see, but I know I’m not allowed. I proceed to slide my trousers down, I try to go slow and give you a show but I’m too eager for that. I feel you come up behind me again. When your bare skin touches mine I know that you’ve taken off your pants as well.”

Harry knows he shouldn’t, he’d slept with Remus a hundred times after all. More even, but he just can’t help it. He’s blushing. But at least he knows he’s doing it right, because Remus is panting in his ear and he can feel the subtle press of his hips rocking against him. After clearing his throat Harry continues. 

“Then I feel something cold against me, and it’s hard, it's not something organic but I can't really place what it is. I hear you growl 'It’s time for your punishment Harry; you need to learn your place.’ Before I have time to asses what's going on I feel the cold hit of the paddle marking my arse. It burns, making my skin heat and I just know that my arse is going to be red and shiny when you're done, but it makes my cock harden and leak all the same because it's you who's doing this to me.

With each stroke I hear you say something in that low sexy voice of yours, but I’m too far gone to even understand a word you say, I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks and I know that it's purely physical because I never want you to stop. Then the paddle is gone and this time I can understand your words, ‘Are you ready for me? Do you want me Harry?’ All I can do is moan out 'GODS YES!' I need you so bad. ‘Good Harry. Then make sure you’re a good boy for me. You can’t come till I tell you to. Are you going to be good for me?’ All I can do is nod. At this point I don’t even care if you prepare me, I just need you to fuck me right there.”

“Oh Gods Harry.” Remus never knew his little Jaime could even think like that, let alone say the words out loud. He loved it, every word of it. Remus also knew that if Harry kept talking like that he wouldn't be able to hold off for those two and a half weeks. His hand slithered into Harry's pants, eagerly grabbing and taking hold of the firm erection he found there, and Harry felt like he might swoon from the intensity of his own words and the effect they had on Remus. But it was too late to back away now, so he took a deep breath and kept talking,   
“But you don’t give me what I want; you turn me around, pressing my sore backside to the table and taking my whole weeping cock into your mouth. That warm wet mouth of yours that always drove me insane. Gods, the way you suck cock, it’s… pure art and all I can do is jolt above you and grip the edge of the table, stars exploding behind my lids." As he was talking Harry could see those exact stars he was talking about, dancing in the corners of his closed-lidded vision, erupting each time Remus moved his hand over his cock, 

"You… I know I'm close, I can… feel it…" Harry's talk was starting to slur and become sloppy and Remus smiled, pleased that he was able to render his young lover into a pile of mush, "But you don't let me come, just when I'm right on the edge, you draw away from my cock, leaving me hard and dissatisfied." Remus stilled his hand, tugging lightly on Harry's balls to effectively cut his orgasm, causing Harry to moan in disappointment,

"I look down and I see your eyes looking up at me, those smouldering ambers that I just want to get burned in, and you rise to your feet slowly, a feral smile on your beautiful face and I gulp because I know that no matter what you have in store for me now, you're not going to let me come until you broken me down completely. And gods I want you to break me so much. Make me yours completely." Remus breathed out lowly, rubbing his face on Harry’s shoulder and the pillow under his head. His hips were working almost frantically on Harry’s thigh, but neither of them cared much, 

“’Lay down Harry, lay on your back and spread yourself wide for me.’ You instruct me and I jump up on the table, the cool wood is not enough to sooth my burning arse but I don’t care. I spread my legs wide, just panting for your cock in my arse I’m so hard it hurts, and I’m begging you to just fuck me. You smirk at me and say, ‘Impatient aren’t we? Maybe I should teach you how to be patient. You’re not going to disappoint me during our lesson are you? You’re going to wait until the exact moment I tell you to. Because you want to be a good student don’t you Harry?’ I can’t even nod, because at that exact moment you lube up your finger and thrust it inside. Hard enough that it hurts, and hard enough that it feels incredible.” 

Remus’ smirked softly as his hand left Harry’s cock for a bit, travelling up the supple and inviting body and ran his finger over the ring piercing Harry’s naval. Harry groaned and thrusted upwards without even noticing what he was doing. Remus smiled, that was his Jaime alright, nothing could get him unravel faster than a simple, loving touch to his piercing. 

“Don’t stop now baby, we’re so close…” Remus breathed and Harry opened his eyes, licking his dry lips only to have them drying up again just as fast by his hot panting breath, close, they were close… Some part of Harry knew that Remus would not grant them completion until he heard the last of Harry’s fantasy, not that the end was that hard to predict. But Remus was caught deep in the fantasy and just like in his story, Harry’s real life pleasure lay solely in his lover’s hand. 

“You pull me roughly towards you, there’s no more talk between us as I you slam into me using my legs as leverage and holding my thighs tight against your chest. You smirk again and withdraw a little and slam back in. I can feel every tiny movement you make, the skin of my arse is so sensitive I can even feel the coarse hair on the base of your cock. I toss my head back and try to brace myself against your thrusts. ‘Beg me.’ I lift my head in surprise, and see your eyes fixed on me, ‘Beg me to let you come’ you say with a vicious smile and I toss my head back again, gods I want to come so bad… ‘Please,’ I’m nearly sobbing, ‘Please let me come, please sir, I’ll be good…’.” 

Remus nearly chuckled when Harry’s raspy voice began to beg, pleading with earnest and Remus couldn’t possibly deny his lover any longer. His hand sped on Harry’s cock, and his thrusts on his hip became more and more frantic, Harry cried out in passion, his tale completely forgotten as he flexed his hips. Harry’s turned his head, nuzzling Remus’ shoulder and somehow managed to contact his mouth with his lover’s, sharing a heated kiss as they both exploded. 

For a long time they just lay side by side, letting their chests heave and try to draw oxygen from the nearly seals chamber created around Harry’s bed by the curtains. Remus buried his face in Harry’s shoulder, feeling his cheeks flaming with embarrassment. For the love of Merlin he was a grown up, not a fifteen years old having his first erotic dream! He always prided himself of having a lot more control than this, but a few choice words from Harry were undoing him faster than he ever thought possible. He smiled to himself, if there was any doubt before that Harry and Jaime were one, tonight certainly removed it. 

“Gods, Harry… I never knew you could be so…” 

“Graphic?” Harry chuckled, his whole body feeling like molten ice-cream, soft and pliant. 

“Kinky. We definitely need to try it sometime.” Remus decided, quite turned on by the idea of Harry begging him for release. Not that he thought he would ever actually get to the point where he could both spank, suck and fuck Harry without coming at least twice himself but he liked that Harry had such faith in his sexual prowess. With much reluctance he reached for his wand and cleaned them both, rolling to his back and groaning when he suddenly felt the blood rushing back to the shoulder that was buried under him the whole time. It took Remus a couple of minutes to be able to pray himself out of Harry’s arms, not wanting to let go but knowing that if he stayed any longer he would not be satisfied with just hearing Harry talking again. 

“Don’t go…” Harry whispered, pouting and feeling so cold all of a sudden. Remus looked down at the beautiful young man and sighed, 

“I have to, your dorm mates are bound to come up here eventually and I really don’t want to have to explain this to them.” Harry rolled his eyes and sighed, damn but he had completely forgotten about the others. “I’ll see you in class.” Remus said with a wide smile and leaned to plant a soft kiss on Harry’s lips, “You be a good boy, yeah?” He added cheekily, flicking Harry’s nose softly. Harry watched Remus adjust his robes and head for the door. When the door closed behind Remus back, he turned to look at the canopy above his head, a huge smile spreading on his face. Harry then turned to his stomach and buried his head in the pillow, screaming his joy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This last scene was written with the ever so generous help of my beloved Kat. Who knew she could be so… saucy… Cheers love. 
> 
> Hope you caught all the references here… Well, I'll let it slide if you missed 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' but if you missed the ones about 'The Labyrinth'… I'll be very disappointed…


	29. 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sort of a drabble, it actually came to me in the shower and I just had to write it down. Hope you like it.

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, no more fucking ABBA!  
(There’s no connection between the title and the chapter whatsoever, I just watched ‘Priscilla’ the other day and well… you know me…)**

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

Just as Harry had predicted, the next couple of days were practically unbearable. Seeing Remus in class was bad enough, but when you added the fact that now Harry knew the wolf was his and it was only a formality that was keeping them apart, it nearly drove him mad. Not only that, but also the fact that he managed to bring Remus to completion simply with his words was even now bringing a smile to Harry's face. More than a smile in fact.

Harry rubbed his forehead in frustration, damn. He was sitting in History of Magic class, and all he could think of was Remus panting in his ear while his hand was rubbing up and down Harry's shaft. He tried with all his might to listen to Professor Binns, but seven years of learning how to tune out the ghost was not easy to undue. 

"Mate, what's wrong?" Harry lifted his head, looking at the bleary-eyed Ron, 

"What?" He asked defensively, 

"You've been fidgeting so much you woke me up!" Ron complained loudly and yawned widely; upset he's been woken from his lovely nap by Harry's insistent tapping that was rocking the whole bloody desk- a desk that was made for four people! 

Ron was quite pleased to see that Harry was over his funk. After all, how long can you be moping over a weekend with Malfoy? But this new distracted Harry was not much better, walking around with an absent-minded smile and a tendency to rock the tables. 

"Sorry, Ron…" Harry blushed a little when Hermione flushed him a knowing grin. He hasn’t exactly told Hermione what happened that night with Remus, but anyone who knew of his infatuation could see that something good happened to Harry. Personally Hermione was very happy, more so when she realized that Harry was suffering from a major case of Unresolved Sexual Tension which could only mean one thing- Professor Lupin was waiting until the day he would no longer be officially Professor Lupin to Harry. Too bad Harry was a teenaged boy and could hardly control his urges on any given day. 

Remus watched his class with tired eyes, completely uninterested in what he was supposed to teach them. How on earth was he expected to be able to concentrate on lessons when all he could think of was Harry? Harry whose big green eyes, so alike Lily's in shape and colour were, were so full of innocence and devotion and love for Remus. Harry, whose body was pure poetry, all taught and hard from Quidditch yet at the same time soft and supple under Remus’ hands. Harry who was so quick to love and so fierce in his loving… Remus groaned and rubbed his forehead, here we go again… He would have to come up with something else to think about other than Harry because this was going to end bad for both of them if he didn’t. 

A part of Remus was freaking out still about what he was feeling, because Harry was not Jaime, he was still the little baby he held in his arms and cooed over so many years ago, the laughing toddler who called him 'Oony' before things went all pear-shaped for them all. But the more he looked at Harry, the more he saw the boy move and talk and laugh and smile with his friends the more he saw his missing Jaime. 

He missed his friends; he missed being able to laugh and play pranks with Sirius and James, missed Lily's sharp tongue and mind. He missed being part of something, a group, he missed being a marauder. Rising havoc in Hogwarts was no fun alone. And now he got a piece of it back, the most delectable piece, which was even better in Remus' opinion. 

Remus sighed and dismissed his class with a wave of his hand. He had about 15 minutes before his next class would begin, his Gryffindor-Hufflepuff seventh year, the class he both dreaded and anticipated. If Remus was a weaker man he'd run to his room and drink himself silly just so that he could handle an entire period with Harry sitting in front of him, but he knew better than to turn to the booze for help. Perhaps it was a masochistic part of him but Remus wanted to be sober, to take in everything the boy had to offer, even if it was only from afar. 

Harry walked into the classroom, feeling rather dejected and still a tad embarrassed at waking Ron up during History of Magic. He was feeling rather uneasy around Ron these days, lying to his best mate was something Harry never did before (even if Ron thought so in the past) and now, not only did he not tell Ron of such a significant event in his life as going back in time, he didn’t tell him he was going to pursue his affair with none other than a teacher. But Harry suspected that what would tip Ron over was not that fact that he was in love with a man twenty years his senior but the fact that Draco Malfoy of all people knew before he did. When Harry first returned he toyed with the idea of telling Ron that he and Draco were friends, but when Ron kept going on and on about the unfairness of Dumbledore's punishment and the simpering looks he kept giving Harry for having to endure Malfoy Harry decided against telling him. For now. 

He walked into the classroom, dragging his feet and heading towards the back, Hermione and Ron trailing behind him. Harry slumped himself in his seat, not at all looking forward to another hour of staring at Remus. It was hard to say which was better, before he knew he won Remus or after. 

 

Remus had a little bet going on with himself as to how long he would be able to last before he looked at Harry. He lost. As soon as he re-entered his class his eyes were drawn to the back seat. Gods, Harry looked so good, slumped in his chair as if he didn’t have a care in the world, his black fringe flopping in his eyes. 

Remus did a colossal effort to stop staring and start his class, trying to use his blackboard as much as possible, at least with his back turned it was easier to pretend he was not staring at Harry. When he turned around again he saw Harry narrowing his eyes and a flash of wickedness crossing them. Remus gulped slightly, scared of what was to come. 

He watched with trepidation as Harry leaned forward and whispered something to Lavender, who was sitting in the row before him. The brunette smiled and handed Harry one of her shocking-pink ostrich-plume quills. Remus bit his lip and tried to look at the other way but that wriggling pink plume was just too distracting. His brain was working on auto-pilot, reciting the words but barely listening to himself. 

His eyes followed the path the feather’s tip made over the side of Harry’s face, dragging slowly down towards the chin. Harry closed his eyes slowly, flourishing the feather over his nose and mouth and Remus gulped loudly and felt his breath quickening until it caught in his throat and turned into an embarrassed cough when he tried to hold back his laughter as Harry nearly gagged on the feather. Remus turned back to the board to hide his smile and try to compose himself. He was going to kill Harry for doing this to him. 

Harry spluttered and tried to rid of the excess feather in his mouth, gods that tasted vile! He gave Hermione an apologetic half grin at her disapproving glare and rested his chin on his palm with a pout. How the hell was he suppose to seduce Remus if the stupid feather kept tickling his nose and getting into him mouth? He knew Remus would be most upset by this, but Harry had to amuse himself somehow. When the feather seduction failed Harry moved to his old technique, hoping that this time Remus would pick on his subtle signs. 

 

When Remus turned back to the class he was mightily glad the horrid feather was gone, because it was just a little too much for him to watch Harry’s complexion clash horribly with the vivid pink. And the colour was so strong it kept drawing Remus’ eye to it, even if it was used for actual writing. Right now Harry was doing something strange with his eyes. Remus decided that was suppose to be coy and sweet, the way he fluttered his lashes, but it only made Remus want to chuckle because poor Harry looked like he was suffering from dry eyes. Remus allowed himself a small smile, hoping no one would notice his soft expression. At least now that Harry wasn’t flaunting that feather it was easier for Remus to pretend he wasn’t looking at the boy. 

“Can anyone tell me why that is?” Remus watched as a fair few hands shot up in the air, and nodded at Hermione, and immediately regretted that, since looking at her made the risk of eye slippage towards Harry greater, and he could barely concentrate on the answer to his own question. Remus gave a mental sigh; questions were obviously not the way to go here. Ten more minutes passed in that manner, while Remus did not ask any questions and therefore had to fill the silence himself and thus talked himself nearly hoarse. He nearly wept in relief when he heard the bell ringing for the end of class. 

“Homework is on the board,” He said, waving his wand and the words appeared on the board behind him, “Mr. Potter, please approach my desk.” He said heavily and sat down, completely drained. The class scrambled around him to get their things together and leave. Harry remained seated until the door closed behind the back of Hermione who was the last to leave, not before she shot him yet another look that promised a very long lecture as soon as she caught Harry on his own. He gracefully rose from his seat, slinging his bag over his shoulder and approached Remus’ desk with the most innocent expression he could plaster on. 

“You wished to talk with me, sir?” He asked, his voice a perfect tone of respect for his teacher while his eyes were glowing with desire. Remus crossed his arms over his chest, doing his best not to get sucked into Harry little game, because he knew that if he let himself be drawn in, he would not be able to pull out with just a hand-job.

“You have got to stop doing this!” Harry looked puzzled and hurt,

“But sir, I wasn’t doing anything…” Remus rose from his seat, trying to hide his amusement at Harry’s cheeky attitude, perhaps he should have waited with his consent to take this relationship to a higher level. But then again, watching Harry’s dejected form was having the same effect on Remus’ as far as concentration went. 

“Don’t give me this cheek, young man,” He waved his finger at Harry’s direction, trying to ignore the wide and satisfied smile that was spreading on the youth’s face. He walked to the other side of the desk and leaned against it, “You know damn well what you did!” 

“Then I guess you’re just going to have to… punish me, sir…” Harry’s voice was dropped to a soft purr and Remus’ eyes widened; damn this boy was going to be the death of him! 

“That I certainly would have to.” He agreed with a grin. Harry’s eyes lit up like a pair of bright green Christmas trees and Remus rolled his own, don’t encourage the boy, he berated himself. 

“So, are you going to give me a detention?” Harry asked hopefully, knowing full well that Remus wanted to give him a ‘detention’ just as much as he wanted to receive one. 

“Maybe.” 

“Really?” Remus gave his young lover a reprimanding look,

“NO! I’m not going to encourage your perverted fantasies!” Harry looked disappointed and disbelieving, and despite himself a little impressed, because he knew that had the tables been turned he would never have been able to hold back. 

“I thought you liked my perverted fantasies.” He pouted,

“What ever gave you that idea?” Harry smiled predatorily, approaching his teacher and poked him lightly on the chest, running his finger down Remus’ torso, 

“Oh, I don’t know, must be that rock-hard erection of yours, just begging for my touch…” Remus gulped and caught Harry’s finger just as it reached to his waist, bringing it to his mouth and giving it a playful bite, 

“You’re a cruel, cruel man, Mr. Potter.” Remus said sadly and Harry grinned, “Now off with you, cheeky little brat.” Harry sighed and walked to the door, knowing not to push Remus too far. He barely made a step though when a hand was laid on his arm and spun him around. Harry looked into the golden eyes of his lover and Remus smiled softly, his internal battle already lost as he captured Harry’s lips in a kiss. It wasn’t a desperate, heated kiss that would leave then both breathless; it was the kind of kiss that meant they were right where they should be. 

The kiss ended all too soon to Harry’s liking when the door cracked open and Remus jumped back hurriedly, his hands still cupping Harry’s face. Remus cleared his throat and took a deep breath, trying to smile,

“I think the speck of dust is gone now, Mr. Potter.” He said as he released Harry slowly. Harry blinked, completely disoriented, and then smiled shakily, 

“I think so too, thank you sir…” 

“That’s quite alright,” Remus flashed him a small smile before he lifted his head to see who was at the door, “Miss Graves, how may I help you?” Lutetia Graves, a sixth year Ravenclaw looked between the two with a suspicious look before she smiled softly and addressed Remus, completely ignoring Harry,

“There’s was something I didn’t understand in class today, and I was wondering if you could explain it to me… privately.” Harry wanted to gag, who the hell does the little tart think she is? And why, in the name of all that was Holy, could this girl pull off the eyelash batting so effortlessly while he looked like a complete loon doing it? This wasn’t fair.

“Yes, of course,” Remus said distractedly, wanting nothing more than for the girl to leave him and Harry alone, “Why don’t you come back this evening after dinner?” 

“Thank you sir.” She squealed happily and bounded out of the room. Harry couldn’t help himself and stuck his tongue out at her back. 

“She wants you.” He said sullenly, and Remus looked at the closed door, surprised, 

“What? What are you on about, Harry?” 

“She wants you. I bet she’s lying in her bed at night dreaming of your hands running all over the soft curves of her girly body, spreading her legs wide and plunging yourself into her moist ‘flower of love’…” 

“Argh, stop it! You’re making me nauseous!” Remus cried clamping his hands over his ears dramatically and Harry smiled,

“Yeah, me too…” He confessed, rubbing his tummy distractedly,

“Gods, where on earth did you get that sizzling cesspool mouth of yours from? I bet Lily wouldn’t have approved of such language.” Harry raised a sceptical eyebrow and Remus shrugged, “Yeah, well, James would never put up with it for sure!” 

“What can I say? You inspire me.” Harry glided closer to his wolf again. He placed his hands on the wolf’s torso, intending to carry on from the same point he was in before the little slag interrupted but Remus caught his hands and held them away from his body,

“Funny,” He drawled dryly, “Now go to dinner before I would really be forced to punish you for that dirty little mouth of yours.” Harry shook himself free and stuck his hands in his pockets, 

“Promises, promises,” He said with a bored tone, “Just be sure to tell that little tart that you’re mine!” Remus leaned against his desk again, looking very pleased with himself, 

“Oh, I am, am I?” 

“Bought, sold and owned baby!” Harry said happily and Remus gave him a queer look,

“That doesn’t even make sense!” He cried, and shook his head in amusement. “Just go, I’ll see you later.” 

“Would you be dreaming of me tonight?” Harry asked seductively, and Remus looked at him with fear mixed with desire, 

“If I say yes, will it get you starting with the dirty talk again?” 

“Probably.” 

“Then I’m not going to answer.” Remus said firmly, “Now, go before I will give you a detention… with Snape.” Harry stuck his tongue out at Remus, before he turned and left the classroom, leaving Remus alone to slump back in his chair and rub his face, Merlin save me from smart-arse sexy boys…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Lutetia was the Gallo-Roman name of Paris (Capital of France, not the blonde bimbo…)


	30. 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY! Graduation is here, and you know what that means…

****

  
JADED

 

..oo00oo..

Chapter Thirty: Dance magic, dance  
(Title from ‘Magic Dance’, by David Bowie, from the ‘Labyrinth’ soundtrack) 

..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..

Remus looked around him, bored out of his skull. He hadn’t even liked his own graduation party, so how the hell was he suppose to enjoy it now as a professor? He sighed and gazed gloomily into his cup of spiked punch, well at least he didn’t have to pass the night without any alcohol assistance thanks to the miracle flask that professor Flitwick hid on his tiny person and indulged any teacher who needed a shot of firewhiskey.

“So, where’s your little catamite?” Remus sighed and turned to fix the gloating Severus with a disapproving glare, 

“Don’t call him that!” He snapped and the dark potions master smirked widely. 

“Ah, I see you’re familiar with the boy.” Remus turned his back on his tormentor and looked at the swaying bodies in the middle of the Great Hall. Now that Severus has brought his attention to it, Remus did notice the lack of a certain… someone. He briefly wondered if Harry was trying to prove a point by not showing up, or that the reason he was not here had something to do with… say another boy… Remus cringed inwardly at the thought. He couldn’t help himself really. After all Harry was young, fit and sexually deprived. Love declarations could only go so far…

“What do you want me to do? Ask him to dance and snog him in front of the whole school?” He snapped irritably, mostly over the fact that he hadn’t noticed that Harry was not there before now, 

“You know that I’d love nothing more than to see you humiliate yourself _and_ Potter in front of the entire school, but alas, you cannot as the boy isn’t here.” Remus rubbed his forehead tiredly and wondered if Severus had been extra nice to Flitwick or did he bring his own flask. 

“Brilliant, are you done?” He asked without real belief behind his words, 

“Not quite,” Severus smirked again at Remus’ crestfallen expression, “Go after him.” 

“What?” 

“Look, Lupin, I’m not usually in such a generous mood, so shut up and do as I tell you because if I’ll have to listen for a minute longer to the litany of your inane gibbering about the boy I just might ‘accidentally’ drop some armadillo bile into your next batch of wolfsbane!” Remus bit his lip in amusement, 

“Would that be a bad thing?” He asked innocently and the potions master’s eyes narrowed dangerously, 

“Go. Now!” He commanded and Remus pulled himself to his full height, 

“Alright!” He cried and shoved his punch cup into Snape’s hand. Severus watched as Remus nearly drowned under the sea of dancing teens and shook his head in vexation. The stupid wolf had to rush into the middle of the throng, didn’t he, instead of doing the smart thing and going around the teens… Gryffindors, Severus snorted softly and returned to his previous activities, glaring at students and getting steadily sloshed, feeling quite good with himself. 

When Remus finally managed to extract himself free from the evil clutches of the crowd he was tired, and his skin was crawling unpleasantly from the touch of too many unwelcoming hands. He paused for a second to think where Harry might be and decided the best place to start his search was at the top, namely the Gryffindor tower. Luckily the halls were empty and he managed to get to the tower quite fast and without interruption, either from fellow teachers or from students which he would probably have to tell off for some thing or other. 

He stood in front of the fat lady’s portrait and watched in amusement as she raised and drained one toast after another along with her friend Violet. He briefly wondered what were the rules of conduct when it came to portraits, was he allowed to tell her off, was it even his job to do so? He supposed he could tell Dumbledore about it but since this particular portrait has been an old guardian of the Gryffindor tower when he himself was a student and the Fat Lady made a habit to get as drunk as possible at every festive occasion he had a feeling the headmaster already knew of her aberrant ways. 

“Good evening Milady,” He greeted her warmly and worked hard to maintain his composure as the two old women turned bleary eyes at him, “May I enter your tower?” The Fat Lady giggled and daintily covered her mouth with her hand to cover a rather loud burp,

“Why of course professor, I wouldn’t dream of standing in the way of such education to dedication.” She slurred happily, 

“Don’t you mean education to dedication?” Violet said in a raspy voice and the two women looked at each other for a moment before bursting in fresh peals of giggles. 

“I think the two of you should lay off the monks’ wine…” Remus muttered, 

“Yes professor!” The two intoxicated ladies chirped as the portrait swung open. Remus bit down the cross answer that was on the tip of his tongue and climbed into the common room. As expected the place was empty, and he made his way to the boys’ dorms. He was really hoping that Harry would be there because frankly Remus didn’t feel so much like running around the castle looking for the boy. 

But the dorm room proved to be empty as well. Remus crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. Somehow the idea of chasing Harry didn’t seem quite as appealing now as it was when Severus barked it at him. He spotted Harry’s trunk and walked towards it, trying to overcome his conscience before he pulled his wand from his pocket and spelled the trunk open. Remus felt like a complete git, this sort of thing was Sirius’ fort and joy, not his! He slowly approached the trunk, hoping beyond hope that the Marauders’ Map would be on the top so that he would feel less like a thief, but of course it wasn’t because Harry wasn’t dumb enough to leave such a thing in plain sight. Remus sighed and rubbed his forehead, deciding to give it one more go before he started trudging his feet through the castle. 

“Accio Marauders’ Map.” He ordered in an undertone and waited. Nothing happened. Remus was about to give up and turn when the piece of old parchment zoomed from the trunk and hit him square in the forehead. He swore loudly and threw an offended look at the trunk who seemed far too smug for his liking before he caught himself and closed the lid with a snap.  
Remus unfolded the parchment and tapped it with his wand, 

“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good.” He chuckled softly to himself. Trust Sirius to come up with something like that as a password… The lines on the map stopped wriggling after a while and he started studying the map properly. As suspected most of the students and staff were at the ball so that made his job of looking for stray dots a lot easier and soon enough he found what he was looking for. “What the hell…?” Remus looked quizzically at the map, why would Harry choose to spend his own graduation party in Remus’ room? Without Remus being there? Well, there was only one way to find out. 

“Mischief managed.”

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

Remus stopped in front of his door and took a deep cleansing breath, he would need all of his strength to deal with this properly, before he placed his hand on the doorknob and pushed it open.

The inside of his rooms didn’t look any different than it had before, the fire was crackling low in the hearth and some of the candles were lit up casting long and soft shadows around. On his biggest sofa sat a rather nervous Harry Potter, wriggling his fingers and worrying his lip. As soon as he heard the door open he jumped to his feet and squared his shoulders, looking full of purpose and anxiety. 

“Harry,” Remus started in a quiet voice, his heart beating much faster all of a sudden, “Why aren’t you downstairs, celebrating with the rest?” 

“You said two weeks.” Harry blurted out, his eyes pleading. He was sick and tired of waiting and he was going to get his own tonight or die trying! (Well, dying in a metaphorical sense, sort of his heart would die or something since he had no intention of taking his own life, not when there were so many others who wanted the job themselves…), but teasing Remus was one thing, being here in his rooms all legal was something else and Harry couldn’t be 100% sure from Remus’ expression if the wolf would keep his word or not. 

“Harry,” Remus sighed, he did promise to be with Harry when the lad would finish his schooling but he didn’t think that Harry would be so eager… 

“I don’t care, you said that when I graduated you’d be with me, so you can either make something out of this night or turn around and be a coward forever.” Harry said with a proud tilt of his head and made his way to Remus’ closed bedroom door, slipping off the robe he wore, baring his shoulders as he was walking, and Remus gulped unconsciously at the sight of the exposed skin, “Are you coming?” Harry tossed a little sultry look over his shoulder as he opened the door and stepped in, tossing his robe on the floor behind him. 

Remus watched the pool of cloth on the ground transfixed, feeling the blood gushing in his veins. Severus’ words came back to him, taunting him for his cowardice, the old bat had a point for heaven’s sake, Remus’ mind screamed at him- the boy made it very clear that he wants you! Of all the people on this planet he has chosen you and you are going to kick him out because of what? Some stupid sense of right and wrong, that doesn’t even apply anymore? Remus took another look at the fabric piled on his floor, which promised heaven and his decision was made for him. 

He pushed the door fully open and watched it swinging on its hinges, Remus looked into the room, thoroughly exited about what he was going to find there and dreading it at the same time. He stopped at the door to let the full effect sink in; Harry obviously had put some thought into things. The entire room was filled with candles, in all shapes and sizes. Every vertical surface save the floor was covered with them, and they cast a soft light all around the place. On the bed knelt his beautiful lover, his arms held together behind his back and his head lowered. 

Remus felt the heat rising in him at the sight. He knew he shouldn’t be that excited about seeing a young man naked but this was not just some random guy he picked up in some seedy bar, this was Jaime and Remus had missed his lover so much his heart was clenching painfully. 

“Do you remember what I said to you the first time we slept together?” Remus was caught a little off guard by the deep, husky voice. Harry hadn’t bothered to lift his head and his fringe flopped forward, hiding his face from Remus’ view, 

“Er, ‘Did you bring the condoms’?” Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He spent enough time with Remus to know those lame jokes were a sign of uncertainty but right now the last thing he wanted or needed was for Remus to feel insecure. He lifted his eyes reproachfully and Remus shrugged, how the hell was he supposed to remember something that happened 20 years ago. Although, if he had to be honest with himself he did remember and he knew perfectly well where Harry was going with this, he just wanted to hear the other man say it. 

“No, git. I told you that I would relinquish all control to you, and I do. I’m yours to use as you please.” Remus felt like screaming. How was it even possible that he had gotten so bloody lucky? 

“Lay back, hands behind your head.” He ordered as he approached the bed. Harry’s face broke into a quick smirk, knowing that he got his wolf right where he wanted him and did as he was told. Remus racked his eyes over the nude form and sighed, he would need every last bit of self-control he possessed just to get through tonight. With a flick of his wand Remus was naked and Harry felt the tremor running down his spine, gods but Remus looked good. The years haven’t tarnished any of his beauty in Harry’s eyes. On the contrary, his wolf looked much more confident, much… larger, which pleased Harry quite a bit. His torso was still lean but it was more muscular than Harry remembered, more toned and defined. A fine netting of criss-crossing scars covered Remus’ body and Harry decided it was the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. If he didn’t know Remus and his secret those scars looked a lot like he’s been having a rough life, like he was the toughest man alive, sort of a young Clint Eastwood in ‘The good, the bad and the ugly’. Harry had a feeling a lot of men fell for that façade before but right now he refused to even contemplate on the fact that Remus had any other lovers- ever! 

“Open your legs.” Came the low growl and Harry smirked, spreading his legs wide for his lover to see. The breath caught in Remus’ throat and he exhaled slowly. Between Harry’s legs he saw the base of a large, Gryffindor red dildo. Remus closed his eyes for a second, trying to regain control over himself. If he ever had a doubt that Harry was a Gryffindor to the core, it was now gone. This sort of willingness to walk on the edge, to explore anything and everything was something that even Remus never pushed to the limits. He climbed to the bed, a predatory look on his face, 

“You are a naughty, naughty boy, Harry…” He said cheerfully and Harry grinned wide, 

“What are you going to do about it, professor?” Remus paused on his way crawling up Harry’s body and his face pinched in a pained expression, Harry bit his lip to stop his grin, “Not professor then?” Remus sighed and sat back on his haunches, crouching between powerful thighs, 

“No. It just feels… wrong, you know…” Harry rolled his eyes, 

“Yeah, I get it. Do carry on.” Remus snickered and shook his head, bringing himself back to the mood. He decided on a different approach, 

“You’re such a slut Harry, can’t even wait for me to come to you. You’re already open for me to just take as I want.” 

Harry smirked, knowing that now, finally he could just have Remus, no waiting, no stalling, no stretching or preparing, just mind blowing fucking sex with his lover… 

He should have known it would not be as easy as that from the way Remus smirked his wicked little smirk, the one that would scatter across his face whenever he thought of being truly evil. 

Hovering over Harry’s prone body Remus made sure that he didn’t touch any part of the young man’s body, knowing just how mad this was driving Harry, being able to feel his warmth but not being allowed to touch. He reached a hand down and touched the silicon dong, making Harry’s body shiver and tilt upwards. Remus smirked again and grasped the handle, turning the dildo half a turn left and pulling it out of Harry’s body a couple of inches at the same time. Harry’s eyes fluttered close, his chest heaving and his entire body humming, his nails were digging into the pillow under his head, doing his damned best not to move his hands from under his head. Remus watched Harry’s reactions almost transfixed, it was amazing to see how wholly the boy gave himself away. He only experienced this level of compliance once before, with Jaime. This was rather confusing for Remus, but he did his best not to dwell on things too much at the moment and just enjoy what his lover was offering. With just another slight twist of the dildo Remus rammed it back inside his lover and felt Harry’s scream going straight to his cock. He repeated the process a few more times with the same pleasing results, until Harry started thrashing under him, 

“Please, oh gods, Remus stop teasing me…” He begged breathlessly, knowing that if Remus kept this assault of his sweet spot he wasn’t likely to hold on much longer, no matter whether Remus was actually touching him or not. His sensory levels were already running on overload. Remus smirked again, deciding to play out at least part of Harry's fantasy, 

"Don't you dare come without me saying so, you hear me?" Harry's head bobbed in assent even if his brain hasn't fully registered the words. Whatever Remus wanted. Remus wanted to roll his eyes; if he'd just said 'Jump off the roof without your broom' he was likely to get the same reaction. 

Harry’s eyes snapped open when he felt something wrapped around his cock, something that was soft and leathery but most definitely not a hand. He chanced a look down his flushed body to see a leather band fastened tight to the base of his cock, effectively halting any ideas he might have about coming. He lifted his eyes to Remus’, looking at him bewildered and quite impressed. Remus smirked at him, two can play this game, love. 

“Wha- What is that for?” Harry stammered, 

“I don’t trust you to keep your word.” Remus answered simply and ran his fingers up and down Harry’s arms, “I think we need a change of position here. Turn over to your hands and knees.” Harry hurried to follow the order, quite pleased that he could finally move his arms. The cock-ring was tight around his manhood and he felt a little lightheaded with the pressure. 

“Do you want me to fuck you? Ram inside you so deep that you could taste me?” Harry lowered his head and groaned, hearing Remus talking dirty to him was far more than he could take and if he didn’t have that fucking cock-ring on he’d come all over the sheets just from hearing his lover speaking. 

“Yes, oh gods, yes… Fuck me, make me scream, please…” 

“Oh, I’ll make you scream alright, Jaime, the entire bloody castle is going to hear you begging for my cock.” Harry’s bleary mind barely registered Remus’ tongue-slip, but right now he didn’t care what name Remus used, he just wanted him to move. 

Remus took just another sweet moment to appreciate the sight Harry made, arse up in the air, all stretched and slick from the dildo. But his own throbbing need wouldn’t allow him to just enjoy the scenery for long. He grasped the dildo’s base and yanked it forcefully from Harry’s opening causing the young man to keen with pleasure and desperation. Before Harry had time to register the loss of the faux cock in his arse he felt Remus’ blunt head at his entrance and sighed in bliss, finally! 

Remus pushed his way in with one powerful thrust, burying himself to the hilt and feeling his eyes going cross with the amazing feeling of tight muscles clamping around him. He didn’t give Harry much time to acclimatise himself to the intrusion before he pulled back, leaving only the head of his cock immersed in his lover before he pushed back in, eliciting loud moans.   
Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus was rather thankful that all the teachers quarters came with a built-in powerful silencing charms to prevent students from knowing what went behind the closed door. He wouldn’t have been surprise if the entire castle did hear Harry’s screams otherwise. 

He repeated his movement, and then halted balls deep inside his lover. Remus leaned forward, bringing his mouth close to Harry’s ear, whispering hoarsely, 

“I want you to beg me for it before I even think about taking this cock-ring off of you.”   
Without waiting for a reply he pulled out again and slammed back in. He changed the depth and the speed of his thrusts a couple of times, wanting to keep his lover on the finest edge before he was pleased with Harry’s pleas, 

“Please, Remus… Oh, gods, yes… Please, I beg you… let me… oh, yes! Let me come… please baby… Ohhhhh, I love you! More… just more… keep moving… please please please please…” It was the continues usage of the word ‘please’ that finally got Remus to relent.   
He leaned forward, slipping his hand under his lover’s sweaty body and removed the leather band. With one last stroke to the aching cock, Harry came harder than he ever thought he could, screaming out his lover’s name and spraying his seed over the bed sheets and himself. The strong orgasm made his muscles clench around Remus’ cock so tight the wolf was worried for a fleeting second he might not be able to pull out of Harry again. Remus came screaming something that may or may not be ‘Harry’. He collapsed forward, sending them both sprawled on the bed, and knocking the breath out of both of them with a loud ‘Oomph’. Remus pulled out of his lover with a sigh and rolled to his side, so that he would not crush poor Harry under him.   
Harry made a small sound of disappointment when Remus’ cock slipped from him, and lifted his bleary eyes at his lover, 

“That was amazing Harry…” Remus sighed and pulled Harry into his arms. Harry rested his head on Remus’ shoulder, throwing his leg over Remus’ thigh,

“Mmmm.” Remus smiled and called his wand to him, spelling them clean and the blankets above them. From some reason he felt much more energetic now than he had for days. He couldn’t even begin to think about going to sleep. His mind was buzzing and he felt so alive. 

“When did you add the little figures to your piercing?” He asked, bringing his hand to play with the little ring on Harry’s naval, which had four little figures attached to it, that he didn’t remember. 

“They’ve been there the whole time, the glamour just covered them up.” Harry answered, squirming a little as Remus’ hand toyed with his piercing, 

“She was hoopoe, you know.” Harry looked up at his lover questioningly, 

“Who was?” 

“Lily, her animagus form was a hoopoe.” Remus explained, “It’s a bird.” He added at Harry’s perplexed expression, 

“I know what a hoopoe is!” Harry snapped, a little irritated that his intellect was insulted, “I think…” Remus smiled to himself, “I just didn’t know that Lily was an animagus.” 

“She wasn’t.” Remus said in a soft tone, reminiscing, “But who do you think came up with the idea in the first place? She found out what she was and decided to give it a miss. Hoopoes are rather small birds, after all. I think she was scared she’d get trampled on, or maybe she just didn’t like the idea of eating bugs.” Harry smiled, that sounded like something that would put Lily off from becoming an animagus. She just couldn’t let herself being humiliated like that. 

“What’s so special about hoopoes anyway?” He asked, “They’re not even native to England, are they?” 

“No, they’re not. In some of the eastern mythologies hoopoes are a symbol of bravery, they would go into dangerous places where others dare not go.” Remus explained, always eager to share his knowledge with those he cared to listen, 

“Lily was brave.” Harry said proudly, 

“The bravest.” Remus agreed. 

“So, you think I should change the lily into a hoopoe then?” Harry wondered aloud. After all, he did represent all the others by their animal forms, it was just mere luck that Lily’s name was something substantial rather than abstract like Sirius or James. 

“I think you should get a tattoo. They’re much sexier.” Remus purred and Harry tried to hide his smile, and they say teenagers are all about sex…

“Funny, you never seemed to complain about my piercing before.” He drawled dryly, a part of him feeling rather defensive because it was a tattoo he set out to get in the first place after all, and it’s only cowardice that stopped him. 

“Yeah, but now it’s less fun to bite on,” Remus said with a slight pout and Harry smiled, he liked the fact that Remus was thinking of his piercing in terms of efficiency. “Maybe you should get a nipple-ring…” He added thoughtfully, gods the possibilities were endless…

“Maybe I should start wearing leather too…” Harry added sarcastically, but from the shine in Remus’ eyes he knew there was no use, 

“Hmm, you’d look dead sexy in leather…” 

“You never give up do you?” 

“Nope!” Remus answered cheerfully. How was he expected not to let his mind run off with his fantasies when he just had mind-blowing sex with his most delicious private little slut? It wasn’t humanly possible. “But I do think you should get a tat.” 

“Really? What of?” Harry heard the subtle change of tone that meant Remus was not just flirting anymore and he was rather intrigued. After all, it wasn’t every day that an adult he looked up to told him to get a tattoo. 

“I think you should have a stag, a hoopoe and a dog on you shoulder, right here.” He ran his fingers on Harry’s left shoulder, about an inch lower than the top. 

“What about Moony?” Remus smiled, Harry wouldn’t even consider having a tattoo if Remus wasn’t represented in it, 

“You should get a picture of him and Seff, right here.” He trailed his fingers to circle the space in the base of Harry’s spine, just above his tail-bone. 

“Hmm, that sounds good, ok.” Remus looked down at his lover’s dark head, 

“Really? You’re really going to do it?” He asked in disbelief, 

“On one condition,” Harry lifted his head to fix Remus with a green stare, “You’re getting one too.” Remus’ lips curved in a smile, Lily’s boy through and through… 

“Same thing?” 

“Same thing.” Remus took a moment to gaze into Harry’s eyes, searching for signs of fear but the green orbs were set and determined. 

“Deal.” Harry smiled wide and the two shook hands. Harry couldn’t really believe he just agreed to not just one but two tattoos… But somehow the thought of sharing one with Remus was making the whole idea much more tolerable. 

“Great,” He sighed in satisfaction, “We can get it on my birthday, it’ll be fun.” 

“Tomorrow.” Harry looked up, 

“Tomorrow?” Remus nodded resolutely, 

“Yes. When we get to London, we’ll just nip to get a tat before we head to Grimauld Place.” He said in a final tone, making Harry’s rebellious nature raise an eyebrow, “I have big plans for your birthday,” Remus purred, trying to appease his lover, “I want you in full form by then…” Harry could feel the shudder building along his spine, life could not get any better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I should say something about safe sex and all that… Hmm, well, Thumbs up for Brian Kinney then. You know that episode when he told Justin never to let anyone fuck him without a condom? He said it so much better than I could ever have; besides he was naked which is a lot more fun than watching me naked and lecturing on gay safe sex… (Oh, gods… that was a scary thought, even for me!) 
> 
> The bit of Snape and his generous mood is actually a quote, but for the life of me I can't remember where from, so if it rings any bells, let me know. 
> 
> My description of Hoopoe in mythology is based on the book ‘Haroun and the sea of stories’ by Salman Rushdie.  
> Hoopoes are widely spread throughout most of the old world (Africa, Asia and Europe) but are not commonly found in the British isles. I could give you all sorts of little titbits on hoopoes but we all know that they’re not the reason you’re reading this story…


	31. 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of those chapters that are moving along someone else’s plotline just in case I feel like doing something with it later on.

**JADED**

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Thirty-one: The one night stand that wouldn’t go away  
(That's what Vincent said about Nathan in the Britt 'Queer as Folk' so I bet Michael said it about Justin at some point…) **

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

Harry slipped from the bed regretfully. There was nothing he preferred more than staying in Remus’ arms for all eternity, but he knew that he should at least make an appearance at the dorms. On the way out of Remus’ quarters he picked up his robe and tossed it on himself carelessly. It was still very early and the chances of others being around was slim. He forced himself not to look back at the sprawled form of his lover because he knew the temptation to slip back into the welcoming warmth of the sheets would be too great to resist.

Harry hummed softly to himself as he waltzed back to the Gryffindor tower. His arse was sore but his entire body was thrumming with pleasure. His whole future seemed so much brighter in the dim light of pre-dawn. He was feeling so happy and so complete that if Voldemort himself manifested in front of him right now, Harry was pretty sure he could take the old snake down.  
When he turned the corner to the tower’s entrance he saw Seamus Finnigan standing there, looking rather perplexed and angry and all because the fat lady had finally passed out from the wine she’s been consuming lovingly throughout the evening. 

“Hey, Shey, what’s up?” Harry asked conversationally as he came to stand by his friend, 

“Hey Harry, the old banshee has fallen asleep.” Seamus sneered at the portrait before turning a curious face to Harry, “You’re coming in a bit late… Where have you been?” 

“I could say the same for you.” Harry replied pleasantly, and Seamus snickered, 

“I just came back from Hogsmede.” He answered proudly, and at Harry’s questioning gaze he blushed slightly, but still beamed with pride, “Oliver rented a room in the ‘Three Broomsticks’.” Harry’s jaw dropped, 

“Oliver? Wood? Holly shit!” He cried and slapped Seamus’ back, “Good on you mate.” Seamus beamed at him, 

“And where are you coming from?” Now it was Harry’s turn to blush, 

“Professor Lupin’s quarters.” He answered haughtily and Seamus was beside himself with glee,

“No bloody way! You scored the hottest professor in the whole school!” Harry preened and shrugged, “You dog!” The two looked at each other for a moment, each basking in the glow of their own relationship before they burst into hearty laughter. The ringing sound of mirth woke the fat lady in the midst of a particularly loud snore and she gruffly opened the portrait for them, complaining loudly of her aching head. 

Once inside the common room, the two made their way up to the dorms. Harry was quite please with this turn of events. Not that Seamus was a difficult person, in fact he was pretty sure that the easy going Irishman wouldn’t mind if he said he came back from Professor Snape’s dungeon, but it was still nice to get a positive feedback on his relationship. Somehow it made it easier to think about dealing with Ron. 

Seamus opened the door to the seventh year boys’ dorm, but before either boy could take a step in they heard the shuffling sound of feet. Seamus' hand shot out and grabbed Harry's, seeking reassurance in the other boy's presence. Out of the near pitch blackness of the room loomed the gangly form of Neville, walking towards them. Harry let out the breath he was holding, feeling his heart doing a particularly vigorous salsa against his ribcage. 

"H-Hey, Nev." He stammered. Feeling relieved and scared at the same time, Neville's eyes were open but blank and he stood there for a moment, gazing into space before he turned around and disappeared in the shadows again. Harry felt a tag on his hand, and turned a wide-eyed gaze to Seamus who was white as a sheet. Together the two backed away from the room, Seamus shutting the door quietly before they turned and fled down the stairs to the common room. 

Harry slumped on the sofa and curled into himself as Seamus perched himself next to him and pointed his wand at the fireplace, igniting the logs back to life. He was desperately trying to calm the beating of his heart- for the love of Merlin; he's faced the bastard that was considered to be the scariest son-of-a-bitch in the Wizarding World, on a yearly basis no less and here he was trembling like two years old at seeing his friend sleep-walking. Seamus leaned back on the sofa and let out a long sigh, 

"Oh, gods that was scary…" Harry nodded his assent, 

"No shit." Seamus turned to him, looking at him with a semi-accusatory glance, 

"Did you know that Neville was a sleep-walker?" 

"No." Seamus slumped back, eyes fixed on the fire, 

"I just can't believe it!" He cried, "We shared a bloody dorm for seven bloody years, how come we never knew that Neville was wondering about at nights on a regular basis?" 

"I'm just glad we found out this way rather than have him crawl into our beds…" Harry said with a shudder. Not that he didn't like Neville, after all it was nearly impossible not to like Neville (unless you were professor Snape of course), but it was still a far cry from having him as a friend and having him crawling into Harry's bed for a cuddle in the wee hours of the night. 

"I'd rather have spent the next few hours in oblivion than ever finding out." Seamus said with conviction. In just over three hours he would never have to know this little titbit and be very happy about it. 

"Poor Neville." Harry sighed,

"Neville? Poor sodding Neville? I'm the one who nearly had a heart attack!" Seamus cried indignantly. Harry smiled, knowing that this argument was lost. He stared at the flames for a long moment, when Seamus' voice broke through his thoughts, "So… Tell me all about you and the naughty professor…" Harry chuckled, his eyes still staring forward and answered easily,

"I'll tell him you called him that. I'm pretty sure he'll manage to squeeze one more detention with Filch for you." He glanced side-ways at his friend, "What I want to know is how you managed to score the hottest Quidditch Captain to walk these halls. Last time I checked he left school when we were thirteen…" 

"Yes he did, and no, I wasn’t shagging him then." 

"Good." Seamus chuckled, 

"I met him again at the World Cup." Harry rolled his eyes, 

"Not much better!" After all there was very little difference between the end of third year and the end of the summer between third and fourth year. 

"It was a couple of hours before the match," Seamus started to tell his story, the glazed look of reminiscing shining in his eyes, "I had just decided to take off for a bit, mainly because me Mam managed to get herself into a fight with a couple of Bulgarian fans. So, here I am, wondering aimlessly through the tents when I heard the noise." 

"What sort of noise?" Harry asked, enthralled despite himself. He just couldn’t resist a good story and Seamus was quite famous around their dorms as a great story-teller. 

"The Noise," Seamus repeated, stressing the words, "The noise of two hot male bodies moving together to reach completion." Harry shook his head in amusement,

"You could have just said the sound of sex, you know…" 

"Yeah, but that wouldn't have been half as fun watching your confused expression," Seamus said with a wide smile at Harry's insulted expression. "So, being a barely fourteen years old virgin I naturally followed and when I rounded the corner I saw them. Oliver, the man of every red-blooded boy's dreams shagging some faceless guy against a tree."

"What did you do?" 

"Nothing. I couldn’t do anything but stand and stare at them. I fucking watched them climax, grunting and moaning like a couple of pigs in heat. And it was the most arousing thing I have ever seen. They were just buttoning up when the guy finally spotted me; standing there all wide-eyed and hard and he smirked at me and said something like 'Maybe we can invite him to our next round'. Oliver didn't really like that remark, and I knew that he recognized me because there was a fleeting smile on his face for a second until he realized I just caught him having sex." Seamus smiled softly, gods the face Oliver made when he realized he was just caught with his pants down, it was priceless. And it was something that Seamus knew he would never forget. 

"Oliver shoved the guy away, telling him 'There will be no next round' and then guy just left, sneering at me like it was my fault that he was a jerk. When I turned my gaze back to Oliver he had already composed himself and he gave me a once over and pushed himself from the tree he was leaning against. He walked over to me and brushed my cheek, leaning in and whispering in my ear, 'Look me up in a couple of years, Finnigan'."

"Holy shit!" Harry cried, "He did not say that!" 

"Yes he did. And then he left and I didn't see him for two years." Seamus confirmed, 

"So what did you do?" 

"Went back to Hogwarts of course, what else could I do?" Seamus said with a shrug, "Fourth year was kind of a drag, nothing good happened that year." Harry nodded; yes fourth year was definitely a low point in his academic career, although when that hell ended came the fifth year and made the previous year look like a bloody walk in the park. "Fifth year was a bit better, I decided I wasn’t just going to sit idly by and do nothing. I wasn’t going to come to Oliver a blushing virgin and make a complete fool of myself again. So I hooked up with Weasley." 

"Ron?" Harry asked incredulously before he could stop himself, Seamus shuddered at the thought, 

"NO! Ew! First of all, Ron would never let me anywhere near him with a stick, secondly, there are six bloody Weasley boys, at least a couple of them are gay and you chose the one that has the word 'straight' practically tattooed on his forehead?" Harry shrugged in apology. Ron was his first association to 'Weasley', he couldn’t really help it.

"So, which Weasley did you score then?" 

"George." Harry's jaw dropped, 

"What? George? George is queer? How come I never knew that?" 

"Could be because you were far too busy taking the piss out of the pink toad to notice anything that was going on around you?" Harry opened and closed his mouth several times, yes, Umbridge certainly took up a lot of his time back then but still, Fred could have said something that summer they were together… 

"Fred and I had a thing in the summer between fifth and sixth year… Oh, gods Molly would go ape when she hears of this…" He chuckled to himself; Ron would shit himself for sure if he found out his twin brothers were swinging both ways.

"Yeah, hopefully there will be an ocean between us when she does. George told me that she nearly blew the entire house up when Bill told her he was moving in with his boyfriend and cancelled his engagement to the French chick." 

“Yeah, it was quite spectacular. Fred and George were rather envious; they never managed to get that particular shade of puce on her.” The two shared a small laugh at the short fuse of red-heads before Seamus returned to his story, 

“Anyway, George and I were fooling around for a bit, which was fun, for the most part. And then there were several other blokes that were just as insignificant in the grand scheme of things. And then, two years after that World Cup, the time was right to collect my promise.” 

“How did you even find Oliver?” 

“I went to the pub where all the Puddlemere fans drink and hooked up with a girl who was positive that she was going to be Mrs. Wood and it was only a matter of time before Oliver realized it himself. You have no idea how happy she was to learn that I know Oliver first hand. She pumped me for every last scrap of information she could get.” 

“What did you tell her?” 

“What I remembered and then some things I didn’t.” Seamus replied casually, and Harry gasped in shock, 

“You lied to her? You actually made up stuff about Wood? That’s mean! What if it’d ended up in the paper?” If there was one thing Harry knew it was that once the lies have been printed black-on-parchment it was very hard to convince others they were just that, lies. 

“It wasn’t anything major, just little stuff. Like, did you know that Oliver’s favourite desert is chocolate éclairs?” 

“No.” Seamus shrugged, 

“Neither do I, but everyone likes chocolate éclairs, so I figured it’s not going to harm anyone.” Harry shook his head, he would have said something about how far one would go to get his lover but then again, going back in time and then cajoling his loved one when he returned didn’t really leave him much ground to pass any judgement on others. "After a week with her, which by the way was the longest week of my entire life… she finally invited me to a game with her, and the best bit was- she scored locker-rooms passes!" Seamus grinned happily, as if he was telling the story in real time and not almost two years in retrospective.

"So what did you do when you finally saw Wood?" Harry asked excitedly, unable to resist feeling the bubbling enthusiasm rolling off of Seamus,

"I went over to him, and I said in the most seductive voice I could muster 'It's been two years Oliver'." Harry was howling with laughter, rolling on the sofa and holding his stomach, 

"Oh, gods…" He mumbled and whipped tears of mirth from his eyes, "I can’t believe…" 

"I know… And believe me I have no idea how I did it, I mean, I still cringe with embarrassment every time I think about it, but I did it!"

"And what did Oliver say?" 

"He gave me a once over and just jerked his head for me to follow. He took me over to the players' private floo and took me to his place." Seamus said smugly, 

"You scored Wood. I'm just… Good on you mate!" Harry clapped a hand over Seamus' back, while the Irishman was practically glowing with self-pride. 

"Well, after that night we sort of started, something," It was a bit hard to define what they had, it wasn’t a 'relationship' because it was one seriously dysfunctional one if it was, and it wasn’t really 'just sex' because it was obviously much more than that. 

"Something that is still going on." Harry stated and Seamus nodded, a small secretive smile gracing his lips, "And you want more than what you have." Seamus turned his head to his friend, narrowing his eyes; this sort of shrewd observations was usually Dean's fort, not Harry who was as dense as they come. 

"I didn't before, but now things are different. I'm out of school and we have to see how this goes." The two sat in silence for a while. Harry could tell that Seamus wanted more than just casual sex here and there but he didn't really know what to say, after all, it wasn’t like he still had any liaison to Oliver Wood and he could help his friend. Slowly the pair on the sofa drifted to slumber, too exhausted from their nightly escapades to stay awake until morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My sister did it to me once, the whole sleep-walking bit. It was scary as hell, I can tell you that! 
> 
> If you have forgotten and need a reminder (like I did…) Harry's entire and must I say rather unexciting sexual history is on chapter 11. 
> 
> This was supposed to be the chapter where Harry and Remus go and get tats, but then Harry met Seamus and they started talking and blah-blah-blah… Why do I always get side-tracked? You really should stop me when I get like that. So next chapter would be Harry and Remus do London.


	32. 32

**JADED**

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Thirty-two: Smack that baby, make him pee  
(A very interesting collaboration between David Bowie and Love. Wonder what Bowie would make of it…)**

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

'Ron, there's something I need to tell you. You remember when Draco and I went on…' No, not Draco, Harry thought furiously to himself. Malfoy, to Ron Draco would always be 'Malfoy' preferably with a couple of derogatory insults thrown in the mix. Harry rubbed his forehead and tried again,

'When Malfoy and I got this 'detention' together? Well, it wasn’t really a detention…' Harry wanted to scream. He knocked his head furiously on the back of his seat. How the hell was he supposed to explain to Ron what happened to him in the last… Gods, he couldn't even comprehend the timeline himself. Harry's jaw dropped in shock when he realized that his seventh year had been extended in whole eight months! Bloody hell, it was like repeating his last year in full… That was so unfair. 

Harry leaned his forehead against the cold glass of the train window, letting the view pass him in a blur of green and blue. This morning he had made up his mind to tell Ron everything as soon as possible, mainly because they were going to share a room in Grimauld Place for the rest of the summer and probably longer, as per Voldemort's whim. 

Hiding a romance in Hogwarts was hard, but possible, especially if one wasn’t doing much to begin with. Having to hide it in a house that was big enough to cause Uncle Vernon to drool with envy but was no way near the size of Hogwarts castle was damn near impossible, especially when what seemed to be the entire Weasley clan plus Hermione and who knows how many members of the order of the phoenix were going to be there on a pretty much regular basis… 

Harry rubbed his forehead tiredly, already feeling depressed at the thought of having to spend the next couple of months dreading the second someone found out about him and Remus and chaos would ensue. 

"Harry, everything alright?" Harry turned his head and gave Ginny a small smile, 

"I'm fine, just a little tired." Ginny gave him a sultry smile, her eyes glinting, 

"Yeah, I heard you never came back to the dorms last night…" Harry rolled his eyes and tried to bite back a groan, great, it hasn't been even five hours and the entire tower already seemed to know what he's been up to. He turned his head to window again, hoping that Ginny would get the subtle hint and leave him be. Luckily, Dean had just stepped into their compartment and Ginny turned to him with a blinding smile. Harry caught Seamus' eye and the latter gave him a little smirk, Harry returned it with a lopsided smile of his own and rose from his seat, suddenly feeling restless. 

He stepped out of the compartment, not knowing where to go next. He wanted to just break into a run and not stop until he dropped down from exhaustion, but that would be a little hard to do in a moving train so he simply walked to the end of the train, where the carriages were less crowded and just stood and stared out of the corridor’s window. 

“I think you just missed a cow there.” Harry nearly jumped out of his skin at feeling the purring voice brushing against his ear, he turned around slowly and smiled weakly at Remus, 

“Hey.” 

“Is everything alright?” Remus asked with concern, refusing to even acknowledge that Harry’s foul mood might have anything to do with what had taken place the night before, “You look troubled.” Harry sighed and slumped his forehead against the window, 

“I’m just thinking about how I’m going to tell Ron. I don’t even know where to start…” Remus let out a sigh he wasn’t aware he was holding, this was a sort of crisis he was willing to deal with.

“Hermione knows, how did you tell her?” Harry let out a humourless chuckle,

“Wrote her a note.” 

“Well, that’s not very personal is it?” Even someone as bookish as Hermione deserved to be talked to every once in a while.

“No, I mean we wrote her a note back in the seventies.” Harry explained, “And we hid it in one of the library books so she already knew about that when we came back. And, well…” He lowered his head and refused to look at Remus, “She saw I was a bit low and asked what was wrong. Ron still thinks I was upset over having to spend three days with Draco…” Remus wanted more than anything to pull Harry into his arms and never let go, but the risk was too great, especially in a train full of people, so he wrapped his arms around himself, leaning his back against the glass. 

“Hermione was always a lot more perceptive than Ron.” He said, for the lack of a better thing to say. A long pause stretched between them, neither quite sure what to add to the subject of telling Ron the truth. Remus knew the importance of friends’ support and therefore was all for Harry telling Ron the truth, on the other hand, knowing the red-headed Weasley and how strongly he felt about Draco Malfoy, Remus also knew this was not going to be easy. Truth be told, he did not envy his boyfriend one bit. A soft smile spread on his face when the thought the word ‘boyfriend’ gods, it’s been so long since he had one, so long since he’d even tried to find one. 

Harry chanced a glance at Remus, seeing the little smile tugging at his lips and let himself warm on it, even though he wasn’t completely sure what brought it on, 

“So, are we still on?” Remus shot him a quick look, but before he could launch into a rant about the state of their relationship Harry pressed on, “For today, I mean.” 

Remus caught himself just in time, he really ought to stop stressing out whenever Harry said something odd. The old wounds of Jaime’s sudden departure had been reopened last night and he had to work extra hard to assure himself that Harry wasn’t going to up and leave him again. 

“Yes, of course. I think that while we’re at it we should get you some new clothes as well. Those rags will not do anymore.” He said, somewhat haughtily, channelling Sirius for a brief second, while eyeing Harry’s oversized jeans and tee-shirt disapprovingly. 

“Why? Are you planning on showing me off?” Harry teased, turning so that he was imitating Remus’ posture, 

“No,” Remus shook his head, “I plan to perv on you and therefore those horrid jeans must go!” Harry smiled happily, he would have Remus perving over his arse any day of the week, 

“Ok, but that can go both ways, you know.” Remus opened his mouth for a quick retort but did a double take, 

“What do you mean?”

“We’re getting you new grabs as well. This horrid cardigan must go!” He chirped, tilting his head, and Remus pulled a face at him, a little miffed at being mimicked. 

“Hey! I’ll have you know that my cardigans make me look schooled and sophisticated.” He said, raising his nose up to the sky and Harry snickered, 

“They make you look 106 years old! Even Dumbledore is more fashionable than you are!” 

“Oh, so you want me to start wearing purple robes with little silver stars on them?” Harry laughed out right at Remus’ pouty expression, 

“You know damn well what I want you to wear…” He purred huskily, and Remus’ felt his cheeks flushing and his arousal growing. He wasn’t holding too well against Harry’s teasing two weeks ago and he was doing much worse now. A couple of chatty first years came hobbling by, carrying an assortment of sweets from the trolley and Remus took the opportunity to turn and fix his gaze out of the window, letting the scenery cure any inappropriate thoughts. 

“Harry, I will not wear leather to class!” He hissed, a little more viciously than he planed, but Harry didn’t seem at all fazed. He wasn’t going back to school next year, he didn’t need to keep face in front of the lot and therefore he didn’t have much qualms about teasing his wolf to death.

“How about in your private quarters, just for me?” Before Remus had time to respond to this a happy cry was heard, 

“Hey Harry, what’s going on?” Both Harry and Remus spun to see Hermione walking towards them, balancing easily with the trains movement. She hesitated for a brief second at seeing the two together but pressed on nonetheless, “Why aren’t you in the compartment with the rest of the group?” Remus narrowed his eyes at the girl, must she be so meddlesome all the time? 

“Hello professor Lupin.” Hermione added sweetly and Remus groaned, 

“Please, Hermione, I’m no longer your teacher, call me Remus.” Hermione smiled sheepishly, even if she really wanted she’d never be able to call any of her teachers anything other than ‘Professor’, though Remus was the one she might actually make an effort for, 

“I’m sorry, prof… Remus, it’s just going to take a little getting use to.” Remus wanted to roll his eyes, that’s what you get when you take a student for a lover, you have to deal with his friends as well, he told himself. 

“It’s not that difficult. Harry does it all the time.” He flashed his boyfriend a quick smile and they both completely missed the mischievous glint in Hermione’s eye, 

“Oh, I bet he does, especially when he’s crying out your name as you pound into him.” She said with the most innocent smile. Harry’s face turned beet-red in a space of a heartbeat and he cried out, 

“Hermione!” 

Remus was leaning against the window, his body wracked with waves of laughter, and Hermione looked very pleased with herself. Harry tried to glare at them both but that had no effect as neither was looking at him so he reversed to sulking in the corner. 

“Oh, gods,” Remus whizzed, whipping happy tears from his eyes, “Thank you for that Miss Granger, I haven’t had such a good laugh in quite a while.” Harry rolled his eyes in annoyance and Remus peered around the corridor before he dropped a quick kiss on his pouting lips, trying to mollify his embarrassed lover. “I’ll see you later.” He whispered and made his way down the corridor, humming happily to himself. Harry turned to window again, determined to give Hermione the silence treatment for her cheek. 

“Oh, come off it Harry!” She cried after a while, still smiling. She placed a hand over his upper arm, trying to get him to look at her but her refused stubbornly, 

“I cannot believe you said that in front of him!” He hissed at her, 

“But I was right, wasn’t I?”

“That’s hardly the point!”

“You’re so cute when you’re all flushed…” Hermione cooed at him and tried to pinch his cheek, but Harry slapped her hand away,

“I’m not cute!” He snapped at her, which only served to please Hermione further. 

“Of course not. Have you spoken to Ron yet?” Harry pressed his forehead against the glass, part of him was glad that Hermione stopped teasing him but most of him resented her chosen topic,

“No, not yet. I just don’t know what to say to him.” He confessed quietly. This whole Ron thing was rapidly turning into a monster for Harry. He felt that with each passing day that he wasn’t coming clean to Ron was becoming harder and harder to approach the subject and as a result he felt like he was drifting apart from his best friend and Harry hated feeling like that. 

“Well, I’d start with the whole going back to the past bit. Telling him how you met your parents will soften the blow.” Hermione suggested, 

“Great, play for his pity before I tell him Draco and I are friends and that I’m shagging Remus.” 

“Oh, right, I completely forgot about the Malfoy bit.” Hermione giggled to herself and Harry rolled his eyes, feeling even worse than he did before if that was possible. Hermione sighed and gave her best friend a comforting smile, “Harry, you give Ron far too much credit, you know what he’s like. He‘s going to blow his top off and then cool right back down in a space of two seconds. You’re just working yourself over nothing. Ron wants to see you happy just like we all do.” Harry let himself bask in her comforting words for a second, letting himself hope that things are going to turn just right, 

“Yeah, I hope you’re right.” He said with a soft sigh and turned to look out of the window again. Now that Ron was out of the conversation, the previous one that took place came flooding back, tinting Harry’s cheeks pink when he thought of Hermione’s words. In order to pray himself from the embarrassing memories he decided to think about what he was going to insist on getting for Remus this afternoon. Remus would look brilliant in fitting jeans and tees naturally, but Harry wasn’t worried about them, he was trying to think of the more… enjoyable things he could put Remus in, and hopefully take out of just as fast. 

Leather was the obvious choice, they’ve been dancing around the subject of leather so much lately it was surprising they didn’t own at least six pairs of leather trousers each by now. The thought of leather brought back his fantasy, and the way Remus was meant to look before the wolf interrupted him with his little wardrobe demands. Not really able to stop the smile from creeping over his face Harry started to hum softly, 

“I saw my baby, crying hard as babe could cry,  
What could I do?  
My baby's love had gone  
And left my baby blue,” 

He looked sideways at Hermione who gave him a bright smile in return, joining in with enthusiasm,   
”Nobody knew:  
What kind of magic spell to use?”

The two Gryffindors were standing with their backs to the window, swaying from side to side and alternating to course between them, not caring one bit of someone saw them, 

”Slime and snails,”  
”Or puppy dogs' tails,”  
”Thunder or lightning,”  
”Then baby said,  
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)  
Dance magic, dance (dance magic, dance)  
Put that baby spell on me  
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)  
Jump magic, jump (jump magic, jump)  
Put that magic jump on me,  
Slap that baby, make him pee!” 

Hermione stopped singing abruptly, her face turning red with suppressed laughter, 

“Did you just say pee?” Harry blanched a little, 

“No…” He said in forced casualty, trying to defy the laws of nature and not turn red as a tomato at seeing Hermione’s laughing face. 

“You did! You just sang, ‘slap that baby, make him pee!’” She cried joyfully and broke down in a fit of giggles, while Harry slumped to the floor rolling his eyes and pouting fiercely, 

“Everyone is so determined to make fun of me today…” He complained loudly to the world in general, or rather, to the compartment door he was facing. Hermione whipped her eyes, sliding down to sit next to him, 

“Oh, gods I’m sorry. But to be honest, I like your version a lot more than the original one…” 

“Glad I could amuse you.” Harry answered dryly but he was forced to bite the inside of his cheek not to succumb to laughter himself.

“You’re so cute when you pout.” Hermione said with a happy smile and Harry rolled his eyes, falling into her trap easily,

“I’m not cute! Stop saying that!” 

“Silly me, of course you’re not cute, you’re a burly, brute of a man, chewing tobacco and spitting black, with a five o’clock shadow and grabbing your balls at every opportunity.” Harry sneered at her, 

“Why do I even bother to talk to you?” 

“Because you’re too much of a chicken to talk to Ron.” Hermione answered easily. Before Harry had time to comment on that she jumped to her feet, “Oops, I better get a move on, I have to make sure all the first years are off the train safely.” Harry pulled himself slowly up the wall, 

“Relax, Moine, we graduated last night, you’re no longer Head Girl.” Hermione turned to fixed him with one of her ‘Actually…’ stares,

“Actually, Harry, according to the Hogwarts prefects’ rules of conduct, chapter 12 sub-section 5a the position of Head Boy and Head Girl terminate only when all children have left the train at Kings’-cross station.” 

“You actually read that conduct manual?” Harry asked in disbelief, Ron showed him the thing once, it was heavy enough to give any teenager a hernia if they ever tried to lift it. Hermione fixed him with a glare and Harry waved his hand, “Never mind, forget I asked. Go and do your duty, oh, esteemed Head Girl.” Hermione walked over the door at the end of the carriage, turning just before she closed it behind her, 

“Try not smack the pee out of any babies on your way to the platform.” She said happily and her laughter rang in the hall as she dodged a mild stinging hex Harry send at her wake.

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR--**

Harry looked outside, seeing the magical part of Kings’-cross station, better known as platform 9 and ¾ rolling into view. All around him people were taking trunks off the shelves and preparing to depart. From some reason Harry didn’t feel like getting off the train. It suddenly dawned on him that this was his last trip on the ‘Hogwarts Express’. This would be the last time he would ever have to cross the magical barrier between platforms 9 and 10. The thought made him a little blue, he loved Hogwarts- his first and so far only true home, at least up until now he knew that though he had to go back to the Dursleys house every year there was always the promise of returning to Hogwarts at the end of things. Now he didn’t have to see the Dursleys ever again, which was a real blessing, but on the other hand, he would no longer see Hogwarts either.

When the train pulled to a screeching stop at the platform Harry stood and watched from the window as the student started to spill out of the train, each running to greet their parents. His friends were all trying to get to the exit in a jumble of bodies and trunks, crying out their goodbyes and promising to meet as soon as possible. 

A pair of strong arms circulated his waist and Harry leaned back in silent thanks. He leaned his head on Remus’ shoulder, not willing to let go, even if someone saw them. 

“Having a hard time saying goodbye?” Harry nodded silently and Remus echoed his sentiment. He remembered the last trip he had on the same train as a student. He too was feeling lost when it came to its end. “Do you have your invisibility cloak around?” He asked, pressing a soft kiss to Harry’s neck, 

“Of course I do.” 

“Not in the bottom of your trunk I hope.” Harry smiled and shook his head, 

“It’s in my satchel.” 

“Good, then take it out.” Harry turned slightly in their embrace and looked questioningly at Remus,

“Why?” 

“Because I want to make a fast retreat from the station. I don’t want anyone to try and stop us.” Harry looked at the platform, feeling a ping of alarm growing in him, 

“Are there any death eaters around?” He asked in a hushed tone, but Remus chuckled, 

“Hardly. I was thinking of avoiding Molly.” Harry let out a sigh of relief, which turned into a chuckle, 

“I’m glad you’re as scared of her as the rest of us. Gives me hope for the future.” Remus responded by slapping his arse playfully, and Harry turned to catch his lips in a kiss. 

“We better be off before Hermione barge in to see if anyone was left on board.” Remus suggested and Harry nodded his head. He pulled the cloak from his satchel and donned it on.

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR—**

The way out of the station was relatively hassle-free, and soon Harry packed his cloak in his bag again, ready to discover all the wonders London had to offer. As it turned out neither Harry nor Remus knew where to turn first, as neither of them was ever in the habit of buying clothes for themselves. Remus because he never had enough money to just splurge on himself and Harry because he never had a chance to indulge in new clothes. And so after careful deliberation they just started wondering about, scanning shop-windows in hopes of seeing something they liked.

After a few hours passed in that manner, Harry’s feet were killing him, not to mention his arms were heavy from the shopping bags he was hurling around. He never knew it was possible to shop so much. His bags were full with jeans, in all shapes and designs, cargo-pants and dress-slacks, tee-shirts in all colours and prints, dress-shirts and singlets, socks, underpants, jackets, a pair of heavy boots and two pairs of trainers and even a bag from the sex-shop they accidentally stumbled upon and its contents still made Harry blush. Remus was carrying just as many bags as Harry was, but he didn’t look tired at the least. Not a lot of people knew (in fact, only Lily did) but Remus loved shopping. He loved to try on different clothes, even if he knew for a fact he would never buy any of them. Outrageous colours, impossibly tight cuts and shocking outfits were his joy. 

He was quite grateful for Sirius to leave him a big portion of his vault. Every time Remus took any money out of his vault he sent a silent prayer of thanks to his friend. After he and Harry agreed upon getting a tattoo, Remus sent an urgent owl to Gringotts, requesting one of them plastic card the muggles were so fond of using so that he could pay for the tattoos. Luckily his request was granted that same day (the goblins liked to help those who had lots of galleons in their vaults). 

At Harry’s insistence, borderline whining, Remus relented and they took a break, stopping in some small tea-house for a cup of hot tea and some chocolate tort. Harry was so glad to be giving his tired feet some rest, and hoped they could just go get the tattoos from there before he lost his guts completely. As much as his feet hurt he loved spending time with Remus, just the two of them, like a normal couple on a day out. Not once during their day did he think of death eaters or Voldemort. For a few hours Harry felt… Normal. 

After the tea, Harry led Remus to the tattoo parlour where he got his piercing the summer before. Before they could enter, though, Remus pulled Harry to a nearby alley and insisted on placing a numbing charm over his back. Harry then turned his lover around and repaid the favour. Together they stepped into the shop, Harry clasping Remus’ hand tight when he heard the buzzing of the needles. 

It took them nearly an hour to explain what they wanted and for the tattoo artist to present them with a sketch they approved. It took almost two hours to work on each one of them. Harry was lying spread-eagle on the chair, hearing the buzz but not feeling any of the pain. His brain was going numb from the constant buzzing and he nearly drifted off a couple of times but each time Remus’ squeezed his hand hard to bring him back to reality and Harry winced. It would not do to fall asleep on the table in the middle of what was surely one of the most painful processes he would endure if it wasn’t for his lover’s soft heart. 

After all was said and done, Harry and Remus left the tattoo shop, their backs decorated with big white bands and a list-full of instructions on how to take care of their new tattoos. Outside the sun was already setting behind the tall buildings and the air was losing some of his day’s warmth. It was time to go to Grimauld Place and inevitably face Molly’s wrath for being out for nearly seven hours. They shrank their bags and placed them in Harry’s satchel along with their shrunken trunks and then Harry donned on his invisibility cloak, before he wrapped his arms around Remus and they both apparated to the little square just off 12 Grimauld Place.

**\--HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR-HR—**

Harry and Remus crept slowly towards their destination. Harry hated having to use his cloak just in case there were death eaters watching over the house. As soon as he felt the wards shimmering around him at the door he pulled it off rebelliously. Remus took a deep breath and placed his hand on the door-knob. Death eaters were the last of his concerns at the moment.  
As soon as the door closed behind their backs, a red head pocked from the kitchen entryway, followed by the rest of Molly who was not pleased at all.

“Where on earth have you been?” She screeched, completely forgetting about Mrs. Black’s portrait. Before Remus had a chance to defend himself the portrait started to wail loudly, yelling about mudbloods and blood-traitors in the ancient and noble house of Black. Remus tried to ignore the portrait’s wails and turned to Molly who looked perfectly at ease with the screeching going on around, as if she was drawing strength from it for her righteous cause, 

“I sent you an owl, Molly, you know damn well that we went shopping for clothes for Harry.” He explained. Molly, however didn’t seem too pleased with the answer, 

“How long does it take to get a bloody wardrobe? You’ve been gone for over seven hours! It’s almost dinner time!” Remus took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. It was so hard to think over the noise in the hall, and having everyone in the house drifting to the entryway by the noise of Mrs. Black’s portrait was not helping Remus’ mood one bit, 

“Molly…” 

“Anything could have happened to you, you could have been caught by the forces of darkness! Do you not think before you act Remus? These are dangerous times we live in! It would not do for the two of you to gallivanting around London unprotected for a bloody shopping spree!” 

“We were perfectly safe!” Remus cried back, annoyed that his ability to protect Harry was put to question, not to mention the accusation that he would put Harry in deliberate danger just for his materialistic whims. “You seem to forget that I am a fully qualified professor for Defence against the Dark Art, and Harry was the leader of the DA!”   
While Remus and Molly were sparing Harry watched the portrait, wailing and yelling, 

“Blood-traitors! Mudbloods and blood-traitors in my house! This is his fault, that foul and traitorous, devil spawned boy! It’s a good thing he no longer lives to pollute our blood-line further!” Harry’s chest tightened with the anger at the unjust words. Sirius was good man, he made some mistakes in his life but he was a good person- something that could not be said for his mother, 

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU OLD HAG! DON’T YOU DARE TALK ABOUT SIRIUS LIKE THIS!” Everyone present turned to look at Harry, including Mrs. Black. For a long second the scene seemed to be frozen, everyone too shocked to speak and then Mrs. Black sniffed loudly, heaving her buxom bosom and shutting her curtains with a snap, obviously insulted to the core of her being. The sudden silence of the hall was broken by Fred’s soft whisper to his brother, 

“Gods, if we knew all it took to shut the old wench was to yell at her, I’d have done it ages ago.” Remus used Molly’s moment of distraction to brush past her and push his way upstairs. It took Harry a moment to get his head around what was going on, his mind still reeling with his anger over Mrs. Black’s words. When he turned his head he saw that Remus was gone and a angry Molly herded her children towards the kitchen. 

Harry caught Hermione’s eye and she signalled for him that Remus went upstairs with a tilt of her head. Harry flashed her a quick smile before he took the steps two at the time, climbing to the second floor and coming to a halt in front of Sirius’ old bedroom, which Remus declared his own after Sirius’ death. He contemplated knocking on the door for a second but decided against it and simply pushed it open. Remus was pacing the length of the room, still fuming. 

“Remus…” Harry said softly, his back leaning against the closed door. Remus veered and fixed him with a scorching stare, 

“I cannot believe the audacity of that woman!” He complained loudly, “She still think that you’re a bloody eleven-years old who can’t even fend for himself! ‘Poor little Harry, so pure and innocent, bloody butter wouldn’t melt on his tongue’,” He said in high-pitched voice, mimicking Molly Weasley rather badly, “Ha! If she only saw you last night, on your bloody hands and knees, begging for my cock, she wouldn’t be so quick to think you’re so innocent!” Harry took a deep breath, stopping himself from responding to Remus’ tongue-lash with the same tone, 

“Funny, you’re mad at Molly, and yet I’m the one getting all the heat.” He said quietly and Remus stopped mid-stride and looked at his boyfriend for a long moment before he rushed to him and gathered Harry to him, 

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to say that… I’m sorry.” He mumbled into Harry’s shoulder, his whole body wracked with penitence. Harry smiled softly and patted his wolf’s back, 

“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.” He pushed Remus back a little and kissed his solidly on the lips. “Let’s go to dinner.” Remus nodded, but refused to let go of Harry, 

“Are you alright? You’re not in pain, are you?” Harry shook his head, 

“No, the numbing spell you put on me works like a charm. I reckon I have a couple of hours more before I start to feel it.” Remus nodded, and held out his hand for Harry to take.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Athenian Grace, and especially Love for the awesome ‘Smack that baby, make him pee’, it made me so happy all day long, I just had to put it in. 
> 
> In case you were wondering why Remus was on the train- teachers don’t have an obligation to go on the train and he only did because he and Harry had plans. You were hoping for a more interesting explanation, I know…


	33. 33

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Thirty-three: Well, here’s to a secret very well kept  
(Once again, it’s the sisters from the Simpson desert.)**

****..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..** **

As days moved deeper into summer bliss Harry was starting to feel more and more anxious. Life at Grimmauld Place were never much fun in general and now were becoming almost unbearable. He felt trapped.

Molly, in a true ‘Mother Hen’ fashion called Dumbledore the very same night that Harry and Remus showed up after their little shopping expedition and told him all about ‘Remus’ dangerous stunt’ and as a result Dumbledore forbade Harry to set one foot outside of the Grimmauld wards, much to the annoyance of both Harry and Remus. Remus especially felt like his judgement was being doubted, and he felt demoted to a teenager when he learned that Molly went behind his back and prompted Dumbledore to imprison Harry in the house. 

This new rivalry brought a new level of tension to the house and Harry felt he was in the middle of a fierce tug-a-war. On his own part, being mad at Molly’s meddling brought a whole new level of tension between him and Ron, who wasn’t too happy that Harry was giving his mother the cold shoulder.   
Harry watched enviously as everyone came and went from the house pretty much at will. Molly, of course supervised where and when her children and Hermione went, but none of them were ordered to stay behind. It was like third year all over, when he’d had to find ways to sneak into Hogsmede just for a pack of sweets. But this time even the twins couldn’t come to his aid, as the Marauders never made a map of Grimmauld Place. 

On top of everything he _still_ hadn’t told Ron about things… Somehow the time never seemed right, not even when Ron caught him and Remus in what could be called a compromising position, that Remus somehow managed to explain by him helping Harry change the dressing on his tattoo, which led to Harry having to show said tattoo to Ron and explain why he had two wolves on his lower back (something that Harry been so evasive about it had left both him and Ron with a severe headache and no real answers and Ron eventually gave up asking). 

Matters were made even more difficult since Harry had to wait every night well until he was positive Ron was fast-asleep to slip into Remus’ bed for a few hours, always having to make sure he was back in his bed before dawn. This added stress and the fact that he was sulking and depressed and lost most of his appetite were starting to take their toll on Harry and he turned into himself these days, hardly speaking, eating or sleeping. The only place he found comfort was in Remus’ arms, but those weren’t around him often enough for his liking. 

A month passed much in the same manner as most of Harry’s previous summers in Grimmauld Place did. Molly set the children cleaning in a desperate attempt to get the house into even the slightest resemblance of hominess. One of her big projects this summer had been the cleaning and painting of the attic, where Sirius had kept Buckbeak. The poor Hippogriff had died from a broken heart soon after Sirius fell through the veil and no one knew how it sensed that his master wasn’t returning. 

Hagrid had buried the huge beast next to his pumpkin patch, and Dumbledore said a few words over the freshly dug grave, while the half-giant sobbed like a child into his spotted handkerchief. That was over two years ago, and since then Hagrid had gotten himself a new pet, a Jarvey which he named Nibbles, which would constantly insult everyone within hearing shot. Needless to say Hagrid found the thing to be especially adorable. Visits at Hagrid’s have been made quite fun, if one took Ron with him, as his red-headed character would not let him sit idly by while a ferret-like creature insulted him. 

And so, after getting rid of all the rodents skeletons in the attic (while Ron and Harry shared a little bonding moment over the memories of the chamber of secrets), and painting the walls wash-white the attic actually looked … pleasant. Two large skylights let in the rays of sun and the room was standing in a sharp contrast to the rest of the bleak house. 

On the eve of the first of July, Dumbledore informed them that a very important order meeting would take place. Harry trudged his way down the stairs, not wanting nor caring about what the order had to discuss. Whatever the order might decide it would not be something that would allow him any more freedom than he had at the moment and thus he didn’t really care. 

He slumped in a chair making sure he had a respectable distance from Hermione and Tonks who were whispering together in the corner- obviously on inane girly stuff. Remus walked into the room to see Harry looking just as dejected as he did before. It really broke the werewolf’s heart to see his lover so forlorn but there wasn’t much Remus could do. He knew that once their secret was out it would probably cause more troubles than it was worth, so he just had to bite down his desire to take Harry into his arms in front of the whole house and carry on as if nothing was wrong. 

Soon the room filled up with older Order members, who came through the fireplace in a whoosh of green flames and ash that covered the clean kitchen floor, much to Molly’s dismay. Remus slipped into a seat next to Harry as quickly as he could, before anyone else got the same idea. Under the table he grasped Harry’s hand in a comforting gesture, letting him know that he was there for him. The last to appear was Dumbledore, using the green flames to accentuate his arrival. Remus rolled his eyes, Dumbledore could be such a drama queen sometimes. 

As soon as the meeting started Harry tuned the voices out. He didn’t want to listen to the Order going on and on about him again. What had been such an exciting prospect last year when he had finally been allowed into the meetings turned out to be such a burden. Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort! Everything revolved around the narcissistic bastard, all his fucking life was dictated by the snake-faced piece of trash. Harry hated it so much. 

The fingers on his interlocked hand were suddenly squeezed, bringing Harry back from his daydreaming. He looked over at Remus who gestured with his head for him to look around. At first Harry couldn’t tell what Remus was referring to but then he saw it. He watched with amusement as Tonks swept her gaze around the table, looking at each member with a bored air, until she reached the end of the table and her eyes met the obsidian black of Snape’s, in which point she turned a deep shade of pink and dropped her eyes to her lap, only to have the process start again in a minute or so. Snape’s eyes never left her, and this fixed gaze made Harry want to squirm even though it wasn’t directed at him. 

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Harry smiled, it was nice to know that Remus was paying as much attention to the meeting as he was. 

“Probably not, I tend to think of more than just sex…” He responded cheekily and was punished by a strong squeeze of his upper thigh that made him jump up, catching the attention of the whole table. 

“Mr. Potter, is there something you want to add?” Dumbledore asked politely and Harry felt his cheeks flame and his body doing it’s best to shrink as much as possible. 

“Erm, no sir.” He replied in a small voice, not daring to turn and look at his lover, knowing full well that Remus was holding back his laughter, lest he be tempted to join in. He sank in his chair, until his face was barely visible above the wooden surface. 

“Very well, unless no one else feels the need to say something I declare this meeting concluded. Have a very good evening ladies and gentlemen.” Dumbledore nodded to his peers and stood up, making his way to the fireplace with a dramatic swish of his robes and disappearing into the grate. 

Harry waited until he saw everyone’s attention veering from the meeting to Molly who was checking to see who was staying for dinner. As it turned out, only Tonks and Moody and for some unfathomable reason, Snape accepted her offer. Remus gave Harry’s hand a little squeeze and gestured for him to follow. The two swiftly disappeared up the stairs using the commotion in the kitchen to cover for their disappearance.

Ron watched his friend go, feeling the sour ache in his chest rising again, as it did every time Harry was close to their teacher. Despite of what people thought, Ron was not a complete fool and he knew something was going on, something big. He felt Harry drifting away from him since that time he and Malfoy were on their ‘detention’ and he was unable to reach out and bridge the gap between them. And now the gap had turned into a chasm and Ron felt like he was loosing his best friend and he didn’t know how to stop it. If only Harry would talk to him and tell what was going on. 

“Ron, dear, please run upstairs and let Harry and Ginny know that dinner is almost ready.” His mother’s voice pierced through his thoughts and Ron looked around him. Gods, he did not want to deal with Ginny right now. The poor girl was the only one currently in the household who was prohibited from joining order meetings and the young flame-haired Weasley didn’t waste any words letting her parents (and everyone who was unfortunate enough to be within hearing distance) what she thought of it. 

“Oh, mum, why do I have to go?” He practically whined, why couldn’t she send Tonks- she was a professional Auror, she should know how to deal with demented girls… The second he saw the flash going through Molly’s eyes he knew he lost, 

“Ronald Bilius Weasley!” Great, full name mode… nothing good ever came out of full name mode, “Don’t make me ask you again!” Ron sighed and shoved himself back from the table. This was not his evening. 

He trudged up the stairs until he reached the girls bedroom. Pulling out his wand Ron knocked on the door and cried out to Ginny that dinner was ready before he backed away quickly and moved upper on the stairs. He didn’t really care if people were going to make fun of him because he was scared of his baby sister- they didn’t have to deal with her! 

He heard Ginny storming out of her room, stomping down the stairs and grinned wide, congratulating himself for escaping her wrath. He climbed the stairs to his and Harry’s room, still smiling and opened the door wide

“Harry, mum says that…” The smile instantly drained from his face, his eyes going wide with shock. Harry looked up from his kiss and felt every muscle in his body freezing up. He knew that he probably should let go of Remus’ neck, try and somehow explain the situation to Ron, but he knew that this time he had been caught red-handed. After a long shocked pause Ron turned around slowly, his body moving mechanically to leave the room, his brain completely blank. As soon as Ron’s eyes were no longer on him Harry felt the spell break and he dropped his head on Remus’ shoulder, 

“Shit.” Remus felt like spanking his lover, ‘shit? Your best friend just caught you kissing the man who used to be your teacher and of which you didn’t tell him even after a month and all the lad could come up with was ‘shit’?’ 

“You should go after him.” Remus said gently, prying himself away from his stunned boyfriend. 

“What’s the use?” Harry pouted, 

“Harry…” Harry sighed and pulled himself up, 

“Oh, alright!” He cried and stomped out of the room. A short search revealed that Ron had retreated to the library, still looking shocked and white-faced but now somewhat angrier. Harry took a deep breath and walking inside. Well, it was time to confront his demons at last. “Hey mate,” He said slowly, feeling his heart sink when he saw Ron flinching at the term of friendliness, “What’s up?” Ron snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, eyes stubbornly fixed on the fire, 

“You’re asking me?” Harry accepted the sting with clenched teeth, Ron was playing it hard-to-get… 

“Look, Ron…” He started, and Ron cut over him before he had a chance to formulate his thoughts into something coherent, 

“Is that why you have two wolves on you back?” 

“Yes.” Somehow Harry knew that finding this little fact was going to make Ron even madder, 

“How long?” Ron asked, his voice cold and harsh. He was mad, he was furious! If there was one thing Ron hated more than anything it was to be lied to and to be made out a fool, and here was his best friend, supposedly best friend making the biggest ass out of him. 

“It’s complicated.” Harry sighed, and Ron let out a snort of laughter, 

“You can’t even tell me how long you’ve been shagging our professor?” Ron turned to fix the bowed-headed Harry with a scorching glare, “Is that how you got your ‘O’ in DADA?” Harry’s head snapped up in anger, 

“That was uncalled for Ron! I got that bloody ‘O’ because I happen to be good at DADA, not because I’m shagging Remus!” 

“Oh, so he’s Remus now, is he?” Harry shrugged and smiled, 

“He’s always been Remus, that’s the name his parents chose.” He said before he could stop himself, 

“Don’t get smart with me Potter!” Ron snarled. “Why didn’t you tell me before?” He demanded and Harry lowered his head again, 

“I haven’t really told anyone…” He mumbled, feeling like ten kinds of bastard for the outright lie, but right now he was willing to go that far to protect Ron’s feelings. 

“Did you tell Hermione?” 

“Except Hermione…” Harry sighed, great… Tug-a-war again. 

“That’s just bloody brilliant!” Ron yelled and pushed Harry out of the doorway, storming his way downstairs. Harry cursed under his breath and turned to follow Ron to the kitchen. This evening was just getting worse by the minute. Harry rubbed his forehead and turn to follow Ron.   
When he entered the kitchen he immediately knew that something was wrong. Dumbledore stood there, looking graved and old, and besides him stood Draco Malfoy, wearing a haughty expression and refusing to acknowledge anyone in the room and Neville Longbottom who’s face were all puffy and red from crying. 

“… An attack was issued on Augusta Longbottom’s house tonight.” He heard Dumbledore say in a heavy voice, “She and her son Algernon were killed. The dark mark was hovering above the house.” Neville’s face was blank, his eyes dull and empty of emotions. He cried himself to the point of sickness before, but now there were no tears left. 

“Oh, Neville…” Ginny cried and ran to the tall boy, hugging him tight. Neville looked down at the red-head that was pressed against his sternum but didn’t say a word. Dumbledore excused himself quietly and left to take care of the murdered bodies. 

Harry looked sadly at his friend. Neville was acting like a zombie, going through the motions without any feeling behind them. Harry could understand him well, this was exactly how he had felt after Sirius had died. He knew that Neville needed to be left alone for a while, so that he could process what happened, he also knew that Ginny and Molly’s tendency to smother with hugs and affection was not going to do the boy any favours. 

“Draco?” He asked tentatively, trying to distract himself from the heart-broken Neville. “What are you doing here?” Hermione, who was the closest to him fixed him with a disapproving glare and muttered under her breath, 

“Gods Harry, if you just paid attention during the meeting instead of playing footsie with Remus under the table you’d know that Malfoy has denounced his parents and asked for Dumbledore’s protection.” 

“You’re staying here?” Harry asked excitedly, completely ignoring Hermione’s comment. Draco shrugged and tried to look as indifferent as possible. 

“Looks like it.” He cast his eyes over the low-ceiling and dark stone walls of the basement kitchen, “So, this is the side of light then… Looks rather dreary to me.” Ron snorted in revulsion but both Harry and Draco ignored him. Harry marched over to his friend, trying to hold his smile, 

“Nah, this is just Head Quarters. Come on.” He grabbed Draco’s arms and the two left the room. Molly turned from her fussing over Neville and looked around her, 

“Alright Remus, make yourself useful and put a couple more beds in the boys’ room for tonight. We’ll see about making proper arrangements tomorrow.” Ron turned to his mother in shock, 

“WHAT? I’m not sleeping in the same room as that slimy snake!” He cried, causing the three other Gryffindors in the room to exchange a pained, knowing look, 

“You will do as you are told, Ronald! It’s just for one night!” Molly admonished her youngest son. This was no time for arguments and she felt that Ron was behaving rather immaturely, especially when poor Neville had just lost his grandmother. Ron crossed his arms stubbornly over his chest, 

“Well, I refuse to sleep in the same room as him!” He cried and Molly flushed a dangerous red, 

“Then you can sleep on the stairs for all I care!” She cried and stormed out of the room. Ron looked stunned at his mother, how can she be taking Malfoy’s side, of all people? Ron’s chest was heaving, his breathing laboured and his face flushed. This day was one of the worst days he could ever remember having, and now on top of it all he had to share a room with the person he hated most. He tossed a glance at the corner of the room where his two friends and sister where standing and then lifted his nose high up in the air and left the room, stomping and making a ruckus to show his anger. 

Hermione rolled her eyes and prompted the two others to get a move on, and they left the kitchen as well. Remus was left there standing alone. Well, dinner was obviously not going to happen, he thought with a little pang of regret and fixed himself a sandwich, before he went upstairs to add two more beds to the boys’ room, which probably meant that he would be sleeping alone in his tonight. Yes, the fun never ends in the most Noble and Ancient House of Black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jarvey- Resembling an overgrown ferret, the Jarvey is one of the few beasts that can actually talk. Its speech, however, consists entirely of rude phrases and insults. Jarveys chase gnomes. (According to HP- lexicon. org) 
> 
> Ron knows that Harry is a wolf animagus because after his return Harry told them that he discovered the spell to determine which animal you were destined to be and they had a little ‘What sort of animal am I?’ party at the dorms. As it turned out Ron is a cock (as in rooster), Neville is a lion (how very fitting), Seamus is a phoenix and Dean is a parrot (specifically a Hyacinth Macaw- which if you ask me are the prettiest of all parrots).


	34. 34

****

  
JADED

 

..oo00oo..

Chapter Thirty-four: The Weasley way of thinking

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The next morning Harry woke up feeling rather sullen. Ever since Draco had arrived last night Ron had been giving them both the silence treatment, complete with menacing glares. If Harry had ever thought that Ron was far too honest and incapable of hiding his feelings, he discovered that his best friend (who was doing 120 on the highway of becoming his ex-best friend) could be just as menacing, if not more, when he _wasn’t_ shouting his head off. As a result Harry decided to stay in the room that night rather than slipping into Remus’ and keep an eye on things. Somehow he felt that if Draco was to wake up in the morning as something other than the way he went to sleep it would be his fault.

Harry knew that the day was not going to go well. Ron was still fuming about finding out that he and Remus were more than just a teenager and his teacher/mentor and now on top of everything he had to swallow his pride and act civil in front of a boy he couldn’t stand or risk being humiliated by his own mother. The fact that Harry took a shine to the ‘slimy snake’ was just another handful of salt tossed on Ron’s open wounds. 

Harry dressed quickly, not wanting to wake any of the other boys, and trudged to the bathroom. Every morning that he didn’t wake up in Remus’ arms (which was basically every morning since he got back from the seventies, save for the graduation night) made him feel bereft and lonely. When he returned to the room he saw Draco standing besides his bed, already dressed and ready for his day. Together the two made their way down the stairs, heading for the kitchen. 

As they passed the entrance hall the door opened and they watched as Tonks slid gracefully into the room. The gracefulness ended as soon as she closed the door and took a step forward only to discover that her robe was caught in the doorway. She pulled the fabric, grunting and cursing under her breath until it came loose suddenly, sending the poor girl flying and knocking over the troll-leg umbrella stand. As soon as Tonks hit the floor with a thud that knocked all the air out her, the portrait of Mrs. Black flew open- after a month of being quiet and the old woman started spewing her prejudice nonsense again. 

Tonks looked on the verge of tears as she scraped herself off the floor and Harry sighed, that last month was something of a blessing, having Mrs. Black finally shutting up, but apparently the fun was over, and he’d have to shout the old cow back to submission again. Before he could take a step forward two hands clamped heavily on his shoulders. Harry turned his head to see Fred and George Weasley with identical grinning faces, 

“Allow us.” 

Harry smiled, gesturing with a generous bow and the twins cleared their throats, obviously preparing to cause all sorts of damage. Harry gestured for Draco to follow and they joined Tonks in the kitchen. While Tonks and Draco sat themselves comfortably around the large table Harry went to the cupboard to get them something to eat. He wasn’t really in the mood for cooking so if anyone wanted a real breakfast they would just have to wait for Molly to arrive, but in the meantime they could have some toast. He levitated butter, bread, marmalade, an assortment of jam jars, a honey pot and some lemon curd over to the table. 

“Your great aunt is very loud.” Draco observed neutrally, buttering the piece of bread he’d toasted with his wand. Tonks shrugged and added some lemon curd to her honeyed toast, 

“Your great aunt is an evil wench.” The corner of Draco’s lip turned up slightly, 

“That she is.” He agreed wholeheartedly. Harry watched between the two for a moment before he gasped, 

“Wait a second! You guys are related?” Tonks and Draco exchanged a brief glance before they turned to fix them on Harry, giving him identical glares which spelled ‘Duh…’. Harry stuffed the rest of his toast in his mouth and lowered his head. Bloody Blacks. 

Neville walked into the room, yawning hugely. Harry noted that the boy looked distinctively better this morning than he had last night. Hell, he hadn’t even sleep-walked once the whole night, and Harry had watched him intently for that, as he couldn’t very well fall asleep himself. Behind Neville followed a sombre looking Ron who refused to acknowledge Harry’s or Draco’s presence in the room. 

“Is it always so loud here in the mornings?” Neville asked as he slumped into a chair, pulling the bowl of fruit to him and selecting some grapes. 

“Only when Tonks comes to visit.” Ron answered with a forced smile, sitting down as far as he could from Harry and Draco and summoned a couple of bread slices and the butter to him, “Hello Tonks.” He said pleasantly while Harry glared daggers at him, 

“Wotcher Ron.” She answered absent-mindedly as she fixed herself another piece of toast, this time with a blend of raspberry jam and marmalade. She watched her toast with a sad look, obviously wishing it was eggs and bacon. After all, this was the real reason she came to HQ so early. Toast and jam she could have in her own sad little kitchen. “Where’s Molly anyway?” 

“Yelling at Fred and George.” Ron answered. Tonks rolled her eyes, 

“As long as she keeps herself happy.” 

At that moment Hermione and Ginny walked into the room. Ginny looked haggard and worn, as if she hasn’t slept a wink all night. She smiled sweetly at Neville and took a seat besides him. Hermione on the other hand looked refreshed and perky. She perched herself comfortably next to Harry and pulled the plate of bread towards her, 

“Good morning everyone.” She greeted warmly, “Neville, be a doll and pass me a banana. Cheers.” Neville dutifully passed her one of the bananas from the fruit bowl he claimed as his own for the morning and Hermione peeled it daintily, “Blimy, this banana is already on her death bed.” 

“Pass it to Harry, he likes old things.” Ron hissed loudly. Harry dropped his knife in a heavy clatter and the room went deathly silent, 

“That’s very funny Ron.” Harry snarled, feeling his temper rising to the surface at Ron’s unfair remark, “Bloody fucking hilarious. What the hell is your problem?” 

“My problem? You’re the one who’s been sneaking around befriending Slytherins and shagging teachers!” Ron said evenly, which only flared Harry’s anger more, 

“He is _not_ my teacher anymore, and I never shagged him while he was!” Harry yelled, thoroughly vexed by Ron’s unfair accusations. For the love of Merlin, he had to sit tight and wait for nearly three bloody weeks, so he sure as hell wasn’t about to let anyone forget that! “And I have a right to befriend whom ever I bloody well wish!” He added venomously, 

“We are your friends,” Ron cried, gesturing between the room’s occupants that were not Draco Malfoy, “Not that two faced lying snake who’ll probably hex us to death in our beds!” 

“You know, I’m sitting right here.” Draco observed calmly, buttering his third piece of toast and battling mutely for the lemon curd with Tonks. Both Harry and Ron were standing by now, yelling at each other over Hermione’s head and completely ignoring Draco, 

“You slept in the same room as him last night and nothing happened to you so stop being so bloody dramatic! I happen to trust Draco!” 

“You’ve changed, Harry, and not in a good way.” Ron said solemnly, 

“It’s called growing up Ron, you might want to give it a go sometime.” Harry replied quietly and immediately regretted his words. Ron’s face turned into a magnificent shade of magenta and his nostrils were flaring. Without saying a word he turned on his heel and stormed out of the room. Harry slumped back in his chair, the day hasn’t even started and he already wished it was over, 

“That was a little harsh, Harry.” Hermione said quietly, and Harry rubbed his face tiredly, 

“I know. Fuck, why can’t he just accept that things have changed?” He asked miserably. Grimmauld Place was not big enough to host the two of them if they weren’t talking to each other. 

“Perhaps it’s because you never told him what really happened.” Hermione said reasonably, and Harry sighed, must she always be right? 

“Maybe.” 

“Or perhaps it’s because he’s an idiot?” Draco suggested, causing Tonks and Ginny to bite their lower lip in amusement, 

“You’re not helping, Malfoy!” Hermione snapped, 

“Hey, I’m not here to help. I’m here to hex you all to death in your beds.” Draco replied with a venom dripping smile. Hermione decided to ignore him and turned to Harry fixing him with one of her glares. Harry started squirming under it almost immediately, 

“I’ll go talk to Ron…” He sighed and left the kitchen. On his way up he passed by Molly and the twins who were having a hearty shouting match with Mrs. Black, but it was hard to tell who was yelling at whom and for what reason. Harry climbed the stairs to his and Ron’s bedroom, determined to lay it all out in the clear for Ron. He opened the door slowly and saw Ron standing besides the small window, gazing out at the little square in front of the house.

“What do you want?” Ron asked without turning his head, 

“To talk.” 

“Don’t you have _Draco_ for that?” Ron spat out Draco’s name as if it was sullying his mouth, Harry shook his head in exasperation, 

“Would you stop being so difficult and just listen?” He snapped and then took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was trying to make it right by Ron and snapping at him was not the way to do it. Ron remained quiet and Harry seized the opportunity to press his point, “Right, hum, well, do you remember those three days when I disappeared?” 

“You mean when you had that special detention with Malfoy?” Harry was rather pleased to note that Ron’s voice was carried a tiny tone of curiosity, 

“Yes! Well, no, we didn’t have a detention. We fell though a time alcove.” Harry explained. Ron turned to face his friend at that point, looking rather perplexed, 

“How?” 

“We were fighting, as usual and I shoved him and he grabbed me, or the other way around, I don’t really remember,” Harry knew he was babbling, but he was just so relieved that Ron was listening to him he didn’t much care, “Anyway, we fell through and ended up in 1977, the last year of the Marauders.” 

“You met your parents?” 

“Yes.” Harry answered with a soft reminiscing smile, that made Ron’s heart go soft for him, “It was incredible! Lily found out who I really was even though Dumbledore put a glamour on us, but James had no idea.” 

“And you met young Professor Lupin.” It wasn’t so much a question, as a solemn stating. 

“Yeah, we were a couple.” Harry said quietly, looking intently at Ron, trying to gauge what his friend was thinking. 

“And now what?” 

“Now, we’re a couple again.” A long silence stretched between the two, until Ron turned back to face the window, 

“That sucks mate.” Harry’s jaw clenched automatically, trapping an ascorbic retort. He took a deep breath, 

“What do you mean?” 

“He’s old, Harry, he’s 20 years older than you, he’s a bloody werewolf for Merlin’s sake!” 

“Jeez Ron, you sound just like him.” Harry supplied dryly, knowing that Ron would not appreciate the humour in this, 

“You’re going to throw your life away because of some old guy you were involved with when you ended up in the seventies by mistake?” Ron asked incredulously, and Harry bristled, 

“Remus isn’t some random guy I met in the seventies Ron! I’ve been in love with him even before I fell though the alcove.” 

“You’re sick.” Ron spat out in disgust, 

“Why? Because I want to be happy?” 

“Because you were supposed to marry Ginny!” Ron yelled and Harry backed away from him gaping, completely stunned for a moment, trying to bring his mind around what Ron was saying, 

“What? Are you completely off your rocker? You know I would never marry Ginny, I’m gay Ron!” 

“Fine, then Percy.” Harry took a moment to think of it, out of six boys, what are the odds… 

“Percy’s gay? Didn’t he used to have a girlfriend?” Ron rolled his eyes, Harry was obviously not getting the point here, 

“Whatever, Bill then, he’s old enough to satisfy your kink for older blokes.” 

“I don’t have a kink!” Harry retorted hotly, “And I don’t want Percy or Bill or any of your brothers!” Anymore, he added silently to himself. 

“You’d be lucky to have any of my brothers…” Ron hissed, his Weasley pride kicking into full gear, 

“I’m in love with Remus,“ Harry said quietly, “He’s the only one I want to be with.” 

“Why? What’s in it for you? He hasn’t got any money…” Harry nearly spluttered at the accusation, 

“You think I’m with him for money? You are such a bastard sometimes Ron! That is such a… a Weasley thing to say!” As soon as the words left his lips Harry clamped his hands over his traitorous mouth, his eyes wide with repentance. Ron looked at him for a long moment before he broke the strained silence with a deadly cold tone, 

“Fuck you, Potter.” And with that he swept out of the room, leaving Harry with his hands still clutching his mouth and his eyes closing in pain. Slowly Harry let the fingers drop from his face, knowing that he just boxed any chance he had to reconcile with Ron.

“Oh, crap.”

**\-------------------------------------------------------**

Harry slipped into Remus room as soon as his body allowed him to move, and found his boyfriend lying in his bed with a book. Harry walked over to the bed and tossed himself on it gracelessly,

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that Ron isn’t going to be speaking to me for a long time…” Remus looked over at his young lover, giving up his pretence at reading his book, there was just too much noise around anyway, 

“What did you do?” 

“I managed to insult both his family financial state and his intellect. All in one sentence.” Remus tried to remain serious, because Harry was obviously in distress but it was hard, 

“Wow, that’s quite impressive.” Harry sighed deep, rolling over and burying his face in Remus’ shoulder, 

“Gods, I feel like such an idiot.” He mumbled and Remus patted his head, unable to contain his smile any longer. 

“Yes, that’s because you are.” Harry lifted his head and pouted, slapping Remus lightly on the chest and causing his wolf to chuckle, 

“Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side!” He complained and Remus sobered up, 

“Ron is your best friend. You have to make it right with him.” If there was something Remus knew it was that friends were not easy to come by and if you managed to hold on to one for seven years you better make sure you keep him for good. 

“I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Harry said defeated. “He resents me for being with you and being friends with Draco. I feel like he wants me to choose.”

“Ron wants to see you happy.” 

“Yeah, but on his terms!” Harry cried and sat up on the bed, turning fully to face Remus, “His ideal world would consist of me marrying Ginny and him marrying Hermione! It’s like he’s still stuck in fifth year!” 

“Where you ever in love with Ginny Weasley?” Remus asked, somehow managing to convince himself that the question was asked out of academic curiosity to help Harry’s problem rather than jealously, 

“Of course not! Ron knew I was gay from day one.” Harry dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. Him, being in love with Ginny Weasley… It would take one extremely imaginative person to even consider something like that! Suddenly his eyes widened in fear and he turned to Remus, “Oh, gods, he’s going to tell his mum…” True, Molly Weasley had no legal ground to tell him off on this, but frankly, that never stopped her before. Remus suddenly looked sheepish, fondling his book and refusing to meet Harry’s eye. 

“Hmm, she already knows…” He muttered, feeling his cheeks flaming. 

“What? How?” 

“I might have blurted it out…” Remus said with an air of guilt. He looked so damn cute like that, Harry thought, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar, trying to talk his way out of his obvious crime. 

“Is that’s why you’re hiding in your bedroom?” He asked fondly, 

“I’m not hiding. I’m reading.” Remus answered with dignity, raising his book to prove his point.

“In this ruckus?” Harry asked sceptically with a smile on his face. Remus shrugged, this was going to be quite difficult if Harry suddenly developed Lily’s keenness. “Gods, this is a mad house! We have to get out of here!” Remus looked at his boyfriend with a sad smile, 

“Where would we go?” 

“I don’t know, some place that is just ours!” Remus nodded sadly, yes, getting a place that was just his and Harry’s was a brilliant dream. Too bad it wasn’t likely to come true any time soon. 

“Unfortunately, right now we can’t go anywhere. You’re not even allowed to leave the house.” 

“I hate this!” Harry cried, letting out all his anguish, “I hate being stuck here!” Remus grabbed his hand and patted it with sympathy, 

“I know Cailean, I know.” 

“I feel so bloody trapped! I can’t go anywhere, I can’t do anything. Hell we can’t even get laid properly… I miss your body… we haven’t had any sex in years!” He complained loudly, 

“Three days, Harry.” 

“Yeah? Well, maybe you can go that long without and not be harmed by it but I can’t!” He insisted, despite the fact that he just did go that long without and survived. 

“What? You’re worried you’ll turn blind?” Remus was actually enjoying this banter. And it was always nice to discover that there are people out there that were dealing with sexual tension worse than you are. 

“I might. And then it’ll be your fault. And you’re going to be very sorry because we won’t have sex anymore.” Harry answered with a tilt of his head, which made Remus snicker, 

“How does turning blind effect your arse?” 

“It won’t but if you think for one second that I’m going to let you anywhere near my person after you’ve crippled me you’ve got another thing coming!” Harry said and stressed his point by shoving his finger into Remus’ chest, while the wolf tried to slap his hands away, squirming with laughter, 

“Hmm I see, I better shag you more often then.” 

“That’s exactly what I’ve been saying!” Harry cried out triumphantly. “If we could only get a moment’s piece in this bloody henhouse!”

“I know…” Remus simpered, “It’s been a special kind of torture for me as well.” Harry smiled sadly and snuggled up close to his lover, 

“I know Pookybear. But at least you don’t have to stay here all the time…” Remus decided to ignore the little term of endearment, hoping that it was just a fluke, 

“What, and leave you all alone with the other mental patients?” Harry gave him a big goofy smile and big sloppy kiss, 

“You’re so sweet Pookybear. I love so much.” 

“I love you too,” Remus said with a big goofy smile of his own, “Pookybear?” 

“You like it?” 

“No.” 

“Good, then I’ll keep using it.” Harry said with a sweet smile and Remus pinch his butt, 

“Brat.” After a short playful scuffle they settled back into their cuddle. Harry’s head resting over Remus’ shoulder and Remus’ fingers running in patterns over Harry’s back, 

“Is this what our lives will be like from now on?” Harry asked sadly, “No wonder Sirius went bonkers here. This place just makes me want to scream!” 

“Then scream.” Remus suggested, looking around his depressing room, “Merlin knows this is the only outlet you’ve got at the moment.” Harry sighed, fuck but this was bad. 

“Well, I’m not going to take it lying down!” He cried and jumped up from the bed. Remus rose to lean on his elbows, looking at his lover who seemed full of renewed fighting spirit. “I’m moving out!” Harry declared. 

“Harry, you can’t…” Remus began but Harry cut over him with an impatient wave of his hand, 

“Not out of the house, out of my room. Draco and I are moving to the attic!” 

“That’s brilliant Cailean, but you know, now that everyone knows about us, you could just move here…” Remus said with a soft smile on his face, 

“And give them all the satisfaction of gloating? Ha!” Harry cried and left the room in a whirl of self-righteousness. Remus rolled his eyes and leaned back against the headboard, and picked his book back up, 

“Ha, indeed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘Blurting it out’ to Molly went a lot like the ‘Are you fucking serious?’ joke. Sort of like,   
> “Are you messing with Harry?”   
> “Yes.”   
> What followed was the longest hour of Remus’ life, and he only managed to escape Molly’s lecture when she turned around to gather some air for a new attack and Remus managed to slip out and run upstairs to barricade himself in his bedroom.   
> Yes, folks even big grown men can’t face a small, ginger woman. That’s the sad truth of life. 
> 
> I really don’t know what Gred and Forge were doing at the house at such hour. Maybe they had the same breakfast ideas as Tonks. 
> 
> Pooky is Garfield’s toy bear. And apparently James’ kneazle (as I wrote on chapter 9 and later completely forgot about it…) 
> 
> Cailean means ‘Young Wolf’ in Irish. I think it’s appropriate.


	35. 35

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

** Chapter Thirty-five: Hit ‘em where it hurts most **

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The morning of the 19th Harry woke up excited. Tonight was the full moon, and after who knows how long he would finally be able to accompany Remus during his transformation. Harry bounded down the stairs towards the kitchen, determined not to let anyone ruin his good mood today.

After moving out of his old room and into the attic things did calm down a bit. Ron was still not talking to Harry, and furthermore he’d got himself a job working in his brothers' joke shop. Harry was positively green with envy the first couple of days, watching Ron strutting to the fireplace and disappearing only to return home for dinner with many stories of new jokes and customers. Another prominent change in the house was that now that his relationship with Remus was out in the open Harry could just march into his boyfriend's bedroom without having to wait until the household fell asleep. This arrangement suited not only him and Remus but also Draco who took full advantage of the fact that he had the attic pretty much all to himself. 

The tension in the house didn't dissolve though, mainly because Molly was very vocally disapproving of Harry and Remus' relationship. Her arguments ran along the same lines Remus had presented to Harry before he’d caved in, only delivered with lots of pitying looks at 'poor Harry' who she seemed to think was somehow coaxed into this by the dominant Remus. Needless to say, Harry was just as vocal in defending himself and Remus. He could not believe that the woman he once considered a foster mother was so much against him. It made him understand why George never came out to his family and preferred to leave his sexual escapades out of the way, and why Bill hasn’t shown his face in the house as of yet, and Harry was pretty sure that he wouldn't either for the foreseeable future. 

It vexed Harry, and it hurt him greatly that Molly was giving him the cold shoulder. He loved her as his adoptive mother, the only maternal figure he’d ever known in his life. And now she was turning against him. At first he thought she resented Bill for leaving a promising marriage to Fleur, whom Molly considered a worthy daughter-in-law (and Merlin alone knows why as the French girl did nothing to favour herself over the family), but lately he began to realize that the woman he held in such high regard was plain homophobic, a trait that she seemed to have passed onto her youngest son as well. 

Ginny, in a true fan-girl fashion took a shine to Harry and Remus' relationship and seemed to be there just when one of them was leaning in for a kiss. It made Harry feel very self-conscious and embarrassed that she actually sought him out to ogle over. It reminded him of his second year and her star-crossed adoring eyes looking at him whenever he showed up in a room. Remus on the other hand, thoroughly enjoyed the attention and never stopped at what people might call a respectable kiss and insisted on groping Harry’s bottom as well, much to his boyfriend’s mortification and Ginny’s delight. 

As a rule Remus decided to do his best and avoid getting between Molly and Harry. He knew first hand what it felt like to fall into that woman's mouth and did his best to avoid repeating the experience. As a result he retreated more and more to his room, surrounding himself with books and seeking ways to improve his class curriculum for a lack of anything better to do. His second major task these days was trying to keep Harry from blowing up the entire house in a feat of rage. Harry had been right; life in Grimmauld Place was unbearable for them as a couple. He just hoped that things would change soon.

The only fun Harry had these days (other than Remus’ body) was his and Remus’ little plan to fix Tonks and Snape together. Unfortunately the task was made quite hard by the fact that Snape, in a very Snape-like fashion absolutely refused to cooperate and all of Harry and Remus’ subtle (and less subtle, they are after all Gryffindors) plans to get the two reluctant parties in one room were spoiled. But Harry wasn’t overly concerned, since whenever Snape showed his lanky, black-clad form in the house Tonks became ten times clumsier than normal which inevitably drew Snape’s attention to her. Harry, on his part, was having tremendous fun watching what he dabbed as the ‘world’s worst courting’. 

When Harry turned up in the kitchen Ron abruptly stood up and grabbed a piece of toast, heading for the fireplace. Harry rolled his eyes, refusing to get dragged into Ron's childish games and seated himself in front of Neville. The shy, quiet boy seemed to have blended well into the background of Grimmauld Place since he arrived. Never one to draw too much attention to himself the situation in the house suited Neville just fine. Molly was mad at Harry and Remus, Hermione and Draco were constantly bickering and Ron was a no-show. There wasn’t anyone left to notice Neville. After the first Order meeting since his arrival Neville timidly approached Professor McGonagall and asked if he could receive plants from the Hogwarts greenhouses to care for. The deputy headmistress was more than happy to grant his wish and Neville passed most of his days pruning, watering, trimming and singing softly to his plants. 

"So Harry, what are you going to do tonight?" Neville asked as Harry started to eat his breakfast, "It's the full moon, so you won't be able to sleep in Remus' room." 

"I don't see why not, he's got his wolfsbane potion and I can keep him company as a wolf." Harry answered easily before he realized he ultimately gave Molly more ammunition for her campaign against his relationship. The older woman veered around menacingly, holding up the spoon she used to stir the stew for lunch with and pointed it at Harry as if it was a wand, 

"Harry…" She started and Harry immediately hunched into himself, trying to minimize his presence against her oncoming attack. "You cannot be serious! You are not, under any circumstances going to accompany Remus on the full moon." She decided, and Harry’s jaw dropped at the sheer unfairness of it. 

“I can and I will accompany Remus.” He interjected hotly, all his good mood evaporated with the heat of his anger. Molly was seriously close to crossing a line here and if she didn’t back down now Harry was going to get very angry indeed. 

“Harry dear, don’t be ridiculous. You know that I only look after your well-being. It would not be wise nor safe to spend the night in a room with a dangerous werewolf.” Molly tried to reason, and somehow finding all the wrong words to get to Harry’s heart. The young man jumped from his seat, his face flushed with rage- how dare that woman call Remus ‘dangerous’? 

“You are not my mother and you cannot tell me what to do!” He yelled at the top of his lungs, catching Molly completely off guard. Neville gathered his little _Mimbulus mimbeltonia ___to him as he felt Harry’s magic starting to crackle. “Remus isn’t dangerous and he would never hurt me, no matter if the wolfsbane potions works or not. I’m a fully qualified animagus and I can take perfectly good care of myself and my lover!”

_“Young man!” Molly’s shrill voice rose in accordance with Harry’s increased volume. “I am sure Mr. Dumbledore would not give his hand to this folly and as long as you live under this roof you will abide by his rules!” Harry looked at her completely stunned, surly she was joking…_

_“Sirius left this house to me,” He deadpanned in a low voice, “If anyone is to abide by any rules then it’s you to mine!” Before Molly could find her tongue again Harry spun on his heel and left the room, his whole body was shaking with wrath at the injustice.  
Neville slid down in his chair, lower and lower until he was kneeling on the floor, quickly crawling to the door and trying to avoid the flying pots and pans that Molly let loose in her fury. _

_****_

\--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--

Hermione walked into the library, feeling drained of energy. What a morning. She had spent most of it trying to console and tend to poor Neville who was in a right state after Harry’s and Molly’s dispute. The sheer unfairness of Molly’s words was battling with the pride she felt for Harry for standing up to her. It was about time he started taking charge of his life and stopped being such a push-over Hufflepuff.

Draco raised his head as he heard Hermione slump into a chair next to him. The library had fast became his favourite retreat spot in the house. Not only was it a place that most Weasley’s never visited, but it was also the room which hosted the famous Black Family-Tree tapestry and therefore made Draco feel like he owned the room. He would spend hours looking at this side of his family, cringing with horror at some of its decedents and beaming with pride at others. 

“Let me guess. You simply _can’t_ stand this anymore and we have _got_ to do something?” Draco said flippantly, rolling his eyes at Hermione’s dramatic flair. The girl in question gave out a heartfelt sigh and her shoulders slumped, 

“I just don’t know what we _can_ do… I really don’t want to come between Harry and Molly…” She said sadly, as mad as she was at Molly she couldn’t very well turn her back on her ‘magical mother’, the one that was always there for her when the wizarding world became a little too much for her. 

“I don’t mind, I think she’s wrong.” Draco stated simply and Hermione graced him with a half-smile, 

“Yes, but…” 

“But what? Harry is an adult and this is his house, she can’t just boss him around like one of her ginger brood!” Draco snapped, thoroughly sick of the constant fighting that was going on around the house ever since he had arrived. 

“I know…” Hermione said in a defeated tone, Draco was right, of course he was, but it was still hard to let go. “Poor Harry,” She simpered instead, “Having to deal with Molly on top of Ron not speaking to him…” 

“I still stand by my original statement,” Draco intoned, turning another page in his book as if the conversation was already boring him, “You’re ginger-pubed friend is a moron.” 

“What can we do?” Hermione’s ability to ignore whatever she didn’t want to hear kicked in, “I feel so helpless, I can’t do anything to help Harry!” She jumped from her seat and started to pace the room. Draco looked at her for a moment, seeing her rigid posture and wriggling fingers. He stood up and scooped Hermione to him holding her flush against him, 

“I know how you feel.” He muttered into her hair. Hermione’s arms went around his waist, returning the hug. The two shared comfort and consolation for a moment when the door opened and Ginny’s face appeared behind the wood, 

“Hey, Hermione…” The two teens in the room sprang apart rather guiltily and Ginny looked from one flushed face to another, “Were you two hugging?” 

“What do you want Weaslette?” Draco snapped, irritated that the stupid girl was interrupting them, and angry at himself for letting her get to him. 

“Don’t call me that, Ferret!” Ginny retorted hotly, “I have just as much right to be here as you do!” 

“Oh, yeah?” Draco replied calmly, his usual arrogant veneer coming back full force to taunt Ginny, “Because I don’t see _your_ name on the tapestry.” He said with a sweet smile, gesturing at the wall-to-wall tapestry where his name was woven. 

“That’s because I’m not a dark witch.” Ginny retorted hotly and Draco’s face flushed pink with rage, how dare that Weasley scum even talk to him? But before he could come up with a scorching come-back, or better yet, a good hex, Hermione put her hand over her hips and huffed out in annoyance, 

“Enough, both of you! What do you want Ginny?” Ginny spared Draco one last scorching glare before she turned back to Hermione, 

“Mum says to call you down to lunch.” 

“No.” Ginny frowned at her friend, who crossed her arms over her chest and looked full of purpose, 

“No?” 

“No. we’re not coming down to lunch!” 

“Why not?” 

“We’re starting a hunger-strike!” Hermione declared, holding her head up high as if challenging Ginny to defy her, “We shall not come down to meals until your mother agrees to let Harry join Remus for the full moon.” Ginny looked from Hermione’s determined face to Draco’s confused expression, 

“You’re mental, both of you.” She finally decided and spun on her heel, leaving them to their tricks. As soon as the door closed behind Ginny’s back Hermione turned around, beaming and smiling wide, 

“That felt good!” She cried, nearly bouncing with excitement, “Finally! We’re doing something!” 

“Yes,” Draco answered slowly, doing his best not to get caught up in Hermione’s exuberance, “But now we’re going to stay hungry…” 

“You have to hit them where it hurts! And nothing would hurt Molly more than us not coming for her food!” Hermione replied happily, punctuating her words with a fist slammed against her palm. Draco sighed, Merlin save me from Gryffindors having _ideas…_ He muttered silently. The door of the library opened silently and Hermione turned to face it with an air of determination, ready to launch an attack on Molly, only to have the words dying on her lips when Neville’s round face appeared behind the frame, 

“Hmm, Hey guys, are you coming down to lunch?” Before he could comprehend what was going on, Neville found himself being pulled forcefully into the room, his arm yanked by Hermione. 

“Apparently we’re hunger-striking.” Draco supplied dryly, and Neville frowned at him, trying to do his best to shake off Hermione without actually shaking her off, 

“Whatever for?” 

“Ask her,” Draco pointed his thumb at the girl, “She’s the rebel leader.” Hermione ignored Draco and turned excitedly to Neville, 

“We are not leaving the library until Molly changes her mind and allows Harry to join Remus for the full moon. Are you with us?” She asked in a tone that suggested Neville had only one option, 

“Missing lunch?” Neville mumbled, he loved lunch, and dinner, and breakfast, and luncheon, elevesis, afternoon tea… He loved Molly’s cooking which was infinitely better than his gran’s had ever been. 

“And probably dinner too.” Hermione nodded. Neville looked at her, completely crestfallen, 

“I…” 

“Neville!” She snapped and he flinched, 

“Alright!” He cried, turning the other way so that he would not see Draco’s smirking face, “So what do we do now?” He asked instead, 

“We await our doom.” Hermione replied gravely and Draco rolled his eyes. Gryffindors… The three settled into chairs around the fire and each summoned a book to him. Hermione was rather disappointed that their protest had gone unnoticed as of yet. She could picture Molly in her mind’s eye turning bright red, her lips pursed and the ladle in her hand swinging dangerously. The Weasley matriarch, after raising seven children more likely than not will say something along the lines of ‘stubborn kids! They can just go without lunch for all I care!’ than rush into the room and try to coax them to come down to eat. 

After ten minutes or so the door once again clicked open. Hermione jumped from her seat, full of renewed fighting spirit, only to deflate sadly when she saw Harry walking through the door, his face turned to the hall, or rather at Remus who followed him inside. Hermione noted with a small mental smile that they were holding hands. When Harry turned his head and saw her standing there, with Draco and Neville sitting behind her he stopped dead on his tracks, causing Remus to gently bump into him and smiled sheepishly, 

“Erm, what are you guys doing here? I thought everyone was down having lunch.” He said in a voice that was clearly disappointed that they weren’t. 

“We decided we’re going to make a stand, and we’re on a hunger strike until Molly lets you join Remus tonight.” Hermione explained yet again. Harry’s face turned from a surprised look into a deeply touched one, 

“Oh, that’s so sweet of you guys. Thank you.” He simpered and Hermione beamed at him, well, at least _someone_ was appreciating their effort. Remus smiled broadly, very pleased that Harry’s friends were finally taking his side, “But I decided I don’t really care what Molly says. I’m just going to do whatever I feel like.” Harry explained. 

“So we missed lunch for nothing?” Piped the disappointed voice of Neville from his chair. Hermione turned to fix him with a scorching glare, honestly can’t boys think beyond their stomachs? 

“I really do appreciate this guys. I was starting to feel like everyone was conspiring to make my life hell.” Hermione strode over to him and pulled him into a crushing hug. Harry returned the hug one-handed as his other was still clasped with Remus’. 

“So, is anyone hungry?” Remus called briskly and released Harry’s hand. He walked over to the ancient desk and pulled out his wand. A short spell later he opened the drawer and pulled out a huge slab of Honeydukes chocolate. Draco and Neville’s eyes lit up at the bounty and Harry chuckled, 

“So this is the place where you keep your stash.” He said fondly as they all settled down again, with Harry and Remus occupying the sofa, and Remus distributed the chocolate between the five of them, 

“One of them,” He answered easily, taking a small bite from his portion and closing his eyes in bliss, humming under his breath. Harry watched transfixed, feeling the lust coiling slowly in the pit of his stomach. Never in his life had he been jealous of chocolate before. 

“You’re such an addict…” He whispered fondly, his voice thick with want. Remus wriggled his eyebrows playfully before taking another savouring bite, 

“So is Draco.” At the mention of his name Draco looked up from his chocolate, cheeks bulging slightly, 

“Mmm?” Hermione and Neville sniggered, licking their fingers clean after they gobbled their bit. 

“So, how’s it going to work tonight?” Hermione asked once the last of the chocolate was gone, 

“I’m going to transform and keep Remus company,” Harry answered simply, and then sighed, “It’s just too bad we can’t go outside.” He lamented softly. He’d give anything to go outside right now, even if it was only as a wolf. It was just over a month now since he’s last been outside and he was seriously contemplating insanity. Hermione looked at him sadly, poor Harry, if only Dumbledore would have let him go to Hogwarts, at least there he could get outside the castle and walk around the grounds, fly on his broom in the Quidditch pitch, or just enjoy the enormity of the huge castle instead of being stuck in a house that she knew was growing smaller with each day in Harry’s mind. 

“How are you going to pass the entire night locked away in your room?” Neville asked Remus curiously, from the little he knew about werewolves and wolves in general he knew they liked to roam, not be incarcerated in one place. Remus shrugged, 

“Its’ easy. I’ve got my potions, so I still retain my human mind. I just curl up and go to sleep.” 

“Not if Harry keeps you up…” Draco muttered under his breath and Harry felt his cheeks flaming. Before he could dwell too long on whether Draco knew him too well or was he too obvious Hermione interjected excitedly, 

“Harry, show us your animagus form.” She pleaded with shining eyes and Draco’s lips curved in a slow smirk, 

“Yeah, Potter, come on, show us your wolf.” Harry bit his lip and tried to ignore their pleas but a little nudge from Remus made him sigh in registration, 

“Oh, alright.” He cried and rose to his feet. He faced them and took a deep breath. Gods, but this was uncomfortable… He absolutely hated being the centre of attention and it didn’t matter if his audience was composed of hundreds of wizards and witches or his three best friends. He closed his eyes and brought forward the image of Seff, letting himself become one with the wolf. A soft intake of breath near him caused him to open his eyes. Instead of towering over his seated friends he was now eye-level with them. 

“Wow, that’s so cool…” Hermione whispered and Neville and Draco nodded their assent. Harry yipped happily and jumped on the sofa, curling under Remus’ stretch arm, before he transformed back to himself. Remus wrapped his arms more firmly around Harry and the young man smiled happily. 

“Thanks.” He grinned at Hermione, who was wide-eyed and nearly bouncing on her seat, 

“I wish I knew what sort of animal I can become…” Hermione sighed wistfully, 

“You can. There’s a really simple spell for that.” Hermione cocked her eyebrow at Neville, 

“How do you know?” 

“Harry taught me.” He answered simply. Draco leaned in his chair, 

“And what exactly are you? A mandrake?” Neville pulled himself up, his cheeks dusted pink, 

“No, actually I’m a lion.” He said proudly and Harry smiled, it was about time Neville finally lived up to his animal self. Draco gave the blushing Gryffindor a long look, 

“Well, what do you know. Didn’t think you had it in you, Longbottom. A true Gryffindor.” He mused and Neville blushed even harder, recognising this as the closest thing the Slytherin would ever come to compliment him. 

“Thank you.” He said regally. Hermione, who was not listening to a word the boys were saying pulled out her wand and turned to Neville, 

“Show me, show me…” Neville smiled and cleared his throat, 

“Just point your wand at yourself and say ‘reveal animagus’.” He instructed her. Hermione nodded and took a deep breath before plunging in. The five of them looked at the shimmering, translucent figure that appeared in front of Hermione, 

“What is that?” She whispered, “A beaver?” The three boys shrugged and Remus rolled his eyes, 

“It’s an otter.” He said in a tone that suggested they should all be ashamed of themselves for not knowing the answer themselves. 

“That’s… disappointing…” Hermione said as she waved her hand and finished the spell. She had a slight pout on her lip that made Remus want to shake her. He’d give anything he could to know what sort of animal he might be, hell he’d even settle for a bloody flubberworm! And here was Hermione pouting over a perfectly good otter? 

“Otters are smart.” 

“They better be!” Hermione deadpanned, “I suppose I should have guessed, I mean, my patronus is an otter after all.” She mused loudly. Harry frowned, 

“Mine isn’t a wolf.” Remus closed his eyes as if in pain, taking a slow breath lest he hex one of them, 

“I cannot believe I’m sitting here listening to Hogwarts graduates!” Harry and Hermione lowered their heads in shame, that was kind of a squeak right there, showing such ignorance in front of their DADA teacher, especially after they both received an ‘O’ on their NEWTs. “What is a patronus?” Remus continued in his ‘teacher’s voice’, the one that Harry would have loved if he used in the bedroom but Remus had refused flat-out. 

“A shield created by strong emotions.” Hermione said sheepishly, sitting on the edge of her chair like a child who’s been reprimanded, 

“Good. And what about animagus forms?” 

“They’re an animal form that represent one of your strongest characteristics.” She answered automatically, and Remus smiled, some students would always remain students. 

“Exactly. Your animagus form is something that isn’t likely to change throughout your life time because it is linked to your most dominant attribute. Your patronus will take shape after a significant event in your life and thus can change in accordance.” Harry smiled to himself, gods but Remus was sexy when he was explaining things… He grabbed Remus’ hand that was dangling from his shoulder and started playing with his fingers, trying to break out of the inappropriate thoughts in his mind and listen to what his Pookybear was actually saying. 

“Tonks told me that her patronus changed after her cousin’s death.” Neville supplied and Remus gestured at him proudly, 

“Exactly! Harry’s patronus, for example, is a stag because of what happened in his third year and yours in an otter,” He told Hermione, “Because there wasn’t an event significant enough in your life to influence the appearance of your patronus. The animagus patronus is sort of a default.” 

“What’s your patronus?” Harry turned to Remus, who’s ear tips were turning slightly pink, 

“A wolf.” 

“Your default wolf?” Harry was wondering if the werewolf was so strong that it took hold of that part of Remus as well, 

“I didn’t say it was Moony.” It took Harry a couple of seconds to process this but then his eyes grew wide and shone with love, 

“You mean…” Remus nodded with a smile and before he knew it he had an armful of excited boyfriend, pressing his lips to Remus’ with exuberance and demanding entrance. Remus granted it almost immediately and the two were soon engaged in a dominance battle, completely forgetting they had an audience until Draco’s cool and mocking voice cut through the heat, 

“There are other people in the room, you horny gits!” Harry pulled back, his face flushed and he bit his lip, wearing a sheepish expression. He slid back to his seat after discovering that he somehow managed to straddle Remus during their kiss. 

“Sorry.” He muttered and refused to look at any of his friends, knowing what sort of amused expression they were all likely to wear. “So, Draco, what about your animal?” He asked in a desperate attempt to deflect the conversation from himself. Draco gave him a look that told Harry he saw right through the transparent and rather feeble attempt to deflect the focus from himself but indulged him all the same. After all, he was curious as well. After Regulus interrupted his first attempt at finding out what animal he was Draco never got a chance to find out, the timing never seemed right. Unlike Harry who abhorred all sorts of attention, Draco relished it and he made sure everyone’s eyes were on him before he cast the spell. 

“Reveal animagus.” He said in a clear voice and they all looked as the translucent mirage appeared. Draco stared at the smoky figure in shock, surely there must be a mistake, there is no way in hell that his animagus form could be… “A hedgehog? A bloody hedgehog?” He screeched, not paying attention to any of the others who were struggling with laughter, “What’s the use of a friggin’ hedgehog? That a rubbish animagus! Can I choose something else?” 

“I’m afraid not…” Remus answered hoarsely, unable to contain his glee anymore, 

“Well, hedgehogs are cute and prickly…” Hermione said in a feeble attempt to mollify the devastated Draco, 

“I’ll show you cute and prickly.” He bristled and muttered darkly under his breath and Harry let out a bark of laughter, 

“I think you make a great hedgehog…” And with that the room exploded with laughter, while Draco sat in the midst of it looking very put out indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too sure how smart otters really are, but since this is the animal that JKR chose for Hermione, who am I to question it? 
> 
> As for Draco… Well, if JKR can give Hermione her favourite animal, so can I! Long live the hedgehog. He should consider himself lucky, I could have made him a cow… 
> 
> I just want to say that the whole patronus vs. animagus thing is completely my interpretation of things and I have no evidence that this is what JKR meant. 
> 
> Tonks’ animagus changed into a wolf, I know, but in my defense I can only say that I was quite positive for a long time (until I was presented with the proof otherwise) that she was completely crushed by Sirius’ death because she felt guilty over it, and took his animal form as some sort of self-punishment.


	36. 36

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Thirty-six: I'm going back to the ones that I know, with whom I can be what I want to be  
(Title from ‘With you there to help me’, by Jethro Tull, album ‘Benefit’)**

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

Harry woke up slowly, refusing to open his eyes as of yet. He just wanted to bask in the warmth of the covers, or was it the sunlight, a moment longer. His hand grabbed the sheets next to him, looking for the warm and solid body of Remus, only to touch cool cotton. Harry frowned, he didn’t remember moving back to his own bed last night… Somewhat disappointed he opened his eyes, only to find the big grey eyes and Draco’s face, inches from his own. Harry bucked and squeaked in shocked surprise, his heart going three times faster than normal and his whole body feeling feint,

“Merlin, Draco, are you trying to kill me?” He whizzed, his breath coming out in short gasps. Draco, now that Harry was sufficiently awake and coherent sat back on the bed and smiled, 

“No, I just wanted to be the first to give you your gift.” 

“A cardiac arrest?” Harry asked weakly as he dragged himself backwards to rest his back against the headboard. 

“Funny.” Draco drawled, “Here.” He handed Harry a squared present, wrapped in a cheerfully patterned paper. As Harry started to remove the tape holding the wrapping together Draco started babbling, “Well, this is actually from both Hermione and me. It took a little research but I think you’d like it…” The last of the paper was cleared to reveal two books. Harry looked at the books in puzzlement, they seemed familiar, but he couldn’t exactly put his finger to the elusive feeling. 

“We asked Remus, and he said that these were your favourites when you were a baby. One is magical and the other is muggle… Potter, are you crying?” Harry lifted his moist eyes to meet with Draco’s startled ones, 

“You guys are so… Thank you…” He sniffed softly and launch himself at Draco with a forceful hug. He simply couldn’t believe that his friends went to such trouble as to research what had been his favourite children’s books and then getting first editions of them. Draco patted Harry’s back awkwardly, not used to this side of the boy, 

“That’s quite alright. Happy birthday.” Harry sniffed again, wiping his eyes and looking at the books. One was the muggle book “Winnie the Pooh”, and the other was “Kneazle, Mizzle, Chizzle”, a book that Harry once saw in “Flourish and Blotts” children section and felt a strange attraction to, which he now understood. After what felt to Draco like a year in which Harry leafed through the books and made little happy noises he suggested that they went down to breakfast so that Harry could thank Hermione as well. 

As soon as they entered the kitchen, still clad in their pyjamas, Harry zoomed in on Hermione and swept her up in a bear hug, catching the startled girl and spinning her around. Hermione gave out a nervous giggle, obviously surprised by the intensity of Harry’s reaction to his present. 

“Hermione, thank you so much, I absolutely love it!” He whispered to her and she smiled softly, fighting back the mist in her eyes, 

“I’m glad you do.” Before Harry could say anything else, Neville piped in from the table, 

“I’ve got something for you too!” He cried out excitedly and Harry released Hermione and joined Neville at the table, 

“I got you something too.” He said cheerfully and pushed forward the square present he'd brought down with him. Neville squealed happily like a little boy and tore at the wrapping paper. 

“Ooh, Thank you Harry, I’ve been wanting this book for ages!” Neville said beaming, holding the large tome in front of him, admiring the beautiful and colourful picture on the front cover. Harry laughed easily at his friend’s excitement, 

“I know, you’ve been going on and on about it for ages. It’s from Remus and I, Happy Birthday.” Gods, it felt good to say stuff like ‘It’s from Remus and I’. It made Harry feel more like a proper couple, and he just loved the thought of them being a ‘proper couple’. 

“Thank you… Here.” Neville pushed a small potted plant at Harry’s direction. Harry looked at the green foliage in puzzlement, 

“Er, thanks Nev… What is it?” Neville chuckled when he noticed the leaves drooping slightly at Harry’s confused expression, 

“It’s a _Lilium gauisus,_ a Happy Lily. It’s from the mood plants family,” Neville started explaining. Everyone around the table smiled when they saw Neville’s shining eyes. There was nothing that made Neville happier than talking about his favourite subject- and if people actually listened, well that sent him over the moon. “It will grow when it feels happy and bloom into a multitude of colours if it feels especially cared for and loved.” 

“Wow, that’s brilliant, thanks mate.” Harry said and gave his friend a one armed hug while watching his little happy lily. 

“It’s only a sapling, but they’re fairly easy to deal with. Just water it every other day and keep it away from direct sunlight,” Neville instructed and Harry nodded, his eyes still fixed on the plant as if he was expecting it to bloom at any second. “Oh, and you should probably name it, it’ll make it feel more cherished.” 

“Got it.” Harry said firmly and leaned over to run a finger over the plant’s foliage. “Hello there little one.” The plant’s leaves gave a small shudder and turned just slightly greener, much to Harry’s delight. 

“Open mine now!” Ginny cried and Harry’s head snapped up to look at her. She handed him a small gift with a huge smile complete with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Harry peeled back the wrapping paper and took a moment to look at the gift before he burst out laughing. Hermione and Draco craned their necks to see what Harry had received and he lifted a small diary to them, a big white snake-fang embossed on the front. Draco’s brow creased in a slight frown but Hermione gave a little giggle. 

“It’s just a little something for old times’ sake.” Ginny said with a broad smile and Harry gave her a hug.

“Thanks Gin.” 

With that Ginny and the others exited the room, going about their daily chores leaving Harry to finish his breakfast in peace. Only, Harry wasn’t hungry anymore. He was grateful to his friends, he really was and the presents they gave him were absolutely fabulous, each given with so much thought and caring behind it. But he still couldn’t be wholeheartedly happy, not when Ron was still not speaking to him, and didn’t even bother to congratulate Harry on his birthday. Not when Molly was still giving him the cold shoulder and didn’t even bother to make him a special breakfast like she did every year since he was twelve. Harry really hated being shunned out by his adoptive family, well parts of it. He sometimes felt like a leper.

With a sigh he collected his diary and his Happy Lily, who didn’t look all that happy at the moment and went in search of Remus. He found his boyfriend lounging in the drawing room, his room out of room so to speak, since Draco and Hermione all but called dibs on the library. As soon as Harry saw Remus sitting there, reading a book he felt the smile tugging at his lips. No matter how much he was suffering from Ron and Molly’s attitude, one look at his beautiful werewolf was enough to make his heart soar. Harry carefully put his plant and his book on the table before he went over to his anticipating boyfriend, plopping himself comfortably in his lap. 

“Morning Pookybear.” Remus shook his head fondly, he had been pretty sure Harry would have grown tired of this little nickname by now. Carefully he put his book aside and turned his full attention to Harry, enfolding him in a tight hug.

“Good morning, Cailean, Happy birthday.” Remus greeted him with a big sloppy kiss, that made Harry giggle and return it vigorously, 

“Thank you, what did you get me?” Remus smiled. Eighteen or not, Harry was acting like he’d never received presents before. Regret clutched at his heart for a moment, when he thought of Harry’s loveless childhood, but he forced his smile wider, not wanting to upset the boy on his birthday, 

“It’s a surprise.” Harry pouted, 

“Ohhh, tell me…” He begged, calling in all his fail-proof tricks to get Remus to do what he wanted, from the doe eyes to the little frotting motions he made with his pelvis, but Remus proved much more resilient, 

“Nope. You’re just going to have to sit tight and wait.” 

“Until when?” 

“Until after the dinner party tonight.” Molly had declared she will throw a big party in honour of ‘Poor Neville’ who had been through so much and needed a little pick-me-up for his birthday. and of course for Harry. Remus had to hold Harry back that meal, since the latter seemed rather determined on hexing Molly for that. 

“Hmm, a sex present.” Harry said with satisfaction. Secretly he was hoping for something a little more substantial than a shag but the thought of a ‘sex present’ from Remus was giving him little shivers of joy, 

“Not necessarily, but sex is definitely on the menu.” Remus said with a chuckle, reading his lover’s expression with amusement. Taking a lover 20 years younger than you certainly did wonders to Remus’ libido, not to mention, kept him on his toes and made him feel much younger than he was. 

“Come on…” Harry pleaded, “Can’t you just give me a hint?” Remus pretended to think about Harry’s offer for a little bit, 

“Alright, you may guess.” He said generously and Harry’s shoulders slumped, 

“What kind of a hint is that?” Harry objected loudly but sobered up when he saw Remus’ expression, knowing he wasn’t going to get anything more than what he was already given, “Ok, let’s see…” He mused, trying to think of what he wanted most, “Ooh, I know! What about that special dildo I wanted, the one with all the extra spells and charms?” Remus gave him a calculated look, 

“You mean the one that we got by owl-order three days ago?” Harry’s posture deflated a little, 

“Right, yeah. How about… sexy silk lingerie?” He offered hopefully and Remus looked rather impressed, 

“Never knew you had a kink for women’s knickers… That certainly demands future exploration.” Harry chuckled, pretty much out of ideas, 

“Tell meeee…” He whined and pleaded and bounced on Remus’ lap, causing his boyfriend to close his eyes and take a deep breath before his hands stilled the impatient teenager with some difficulty. 

“No!” He said in a tone of finality, refusing to let Harry get the better of him, “You need to learn some patience, young man.” He chided and Harry gave him the most crestfallen expression he could summon. Remus bit the inside of his cheek and all but shoved Harry off his lap, “Go do something useful.” He instructed with a smile. Harry rose to his feet, doing his best to look as dejected as possible and gathered his little happy lily and his diary before stepping out of the door. 

Once back in his attic room Harry slumped on the bed and let himself sink in self-pity for a whole minute. He was never good with patience. He tapped his feet impatiently against each other while lying on his back and let his eyes drift around the room to find something to do. His gaze landed on his happy lily, who was looking ready to shed its leaves at any second, they’re tips were yellowing already. Harry got up and brought the plant to his bed, placing it on his stomach and stroking the leaves tenderly. 

“Neville said I should name you…” He started, feeling a little strange talking to a plant but the lily immediately perked up and its foliage turned just a bit more green so Harry decided he didn’t care much if he looked like a fool, “How am I suppose to name you if I don’t even know if you’re a boy or a girl?” He wondered aloud, “Hmm, you look like a boy to me. I think I’ll call you… Jonah.” The lily gave a stronger shudder and it’s leaves turned a brilliant emerald. Harry laughed merrily, glad that his little plant was taking well to its new name. “You like it don’t you? Jonah. Yes, you do like it, you’re so pretty…” Harry cooed happily and Jonah grew greener and more lush by the second. Harry kept on cooing to his plant, telling him all sorts of nonsense in the hopes that Jonah would be happy enough to bloom. 

“Talking to plants now?” Came a drawling voice from the doorway. Harry lifted his head and smiled at Draco, 

“Stop being such a snob and come say hello.” He chided his friend and Draco rolled his eyes exasperatedly before he came to sit on the edge of Harry’s bed. “Jonah, this is Draco, he’s going to be here a lot. Draco, this is my happy lily, Jonah.” Draco shook his head, 

“Mad as hatters, the lot of you…” He murmured under his breath. Harry sent him a sharp look and Draco sighed before he looked down at the plant perched on Harry’s stomach, “Hello Jonah, try not to shed leaves all around the room.” Harry rose and covered Jonah with his hand, hiding him from Draco, 

“Don’t yell at him!” He snapped and Draco gave him a narrow-eyed gaze before he slumped on the bed. Harry gave Jonah one last caress and placed him carefully on the nightstand. Draco watched Harry, he was quite amused to see how tenderly Harry was taking care of the little plant. For the love of Merlin, Draco thought, it’s only a vegetable of sorts! He briefly wondered what Harry would do if he got a real pet, but on the other hand he was mightily glad that he didn’t. It was bad enough that Harry’s rowdy owl was leaving her droppings all over the place, he certainly didn’t need something shedding fur as well. 

“So, what is your wolf getting you for your birthday?” He asked and Harry whined pitifully, 

“I don’t know! He won’t tell me!” 

“What did you give him for his eighteenth birthday?” Harry’s lips curved into a smile and his eyes shone, 

“That pendant he’s wearing and my animagus transformation.” And lots of chocolate and some brilliant sex, he added to himself, reminiscing one of the most important nights of his life, 

“Well, he’s already had his transformation two weeks ago,” Draco said levelly, and Harry gave him a lope-sided grin, “But maybe you’ll get some jewellery.” 

“But I don’t wear any jewellery.” Harry protested, 

“Don’t be thicker than you must, Harry.” Draco snapped, “I meant one specific piece of jewellery, small, round… made to fit your finger…” Harry’s jaw dropped as soon as the knut did, 

“You think he’s going to give me a ring?” He asked incredulously. If Harry was truly honest with himself (and Draco), a ring from Remus sounded perfect, beyond perfect even, but somehow he doubted Remus would want to take that step so soon. 

“Why not?” 

“Because…” Harry muttered, rubbing his face, “Because we never talked about it before, because we’re stuck in this gods-awful house and I don’t think Remus would like to stir things too much at the moment.” 

“No one has to know.” Draco reasoned, 

“They’re bound to see the ring!” 

“Glamours, Potter!” Harry looked at his vexed friend and smiled devilishly, 

“You really think that if Remus would give me a ring and ask me to marry him I won’t be shouting it from the roof top?” Draco looked at his friend for a full ten seconds before his face crumbled and he slumped backwards, sprawling himself on the bed and let out a gut-wrenching sigh, 

“Are you alright?” Harry asked, a little worried by the quick change of pace, 

“I’m fine, just… lonely I guess.” Harry bit his lip and looked away. He’s been so consumed in his happiness over Remus’ love and his anger over Ron and Molly’s attitude that he never took the time to appreciate how hard it must have been on Draco. All alone in a house where practically no one wanted him, after betraying and turning his back to his parents, his friends and his life. He contemplated putting a comforting hand on Draco’s shoulder, but he had a feeling the blond would sneer at him and call him something rude so instead he laid back next to Draco and fixed his gaze on the ceiling, 

“Do you miss her?” Draco frowned, gazing side-long at Harry, 

“Who?”

“Pansy.” From all the names that Harry could come up with Draco honestly didn’t think Pansy’s name would be the one, 

“Why would I miss that stupid cow?” He snorted and Harry turned over to rest on his elbow, his expression confused, 

“Oh, I don’t know, because you were head over heels in love with her when we were out of time…” He said slowly, feeling a little bereft that he wasn’t informed of Draco’s change of heart before. 

“Yes. But I sobered up since then.” Draco answered curtly. He really didn’t feel like talking about Pansy ‘I’m so dumb I couldn’t even be a blond’ Parkinson. But Harry’s expression of pity drove him to explain himself lest there be confusion here, “I think I thought I loved her because I knew I had to marry her. It just made things easier; otherwise I’d have to say there was a spell cast on me because she’s the stupidest, most annoying creature in the world! And besides, she dumped me.” He added in a nonchalant tone, shrugging, 

“She dumped you? Why?” Draco refused to look at Harry, staring stubbornly at the ceiling,

“We had one remotely serious conversation and she accused me of fancying you.” Harry’s jaw dropped, 

“Me? What on earth did you talk about?” 

“I only said that I think that green eyes are pretty.” Draco answered matter-of-factly. Harry, on his part, looked far too amused, 

“So you _do_ fancy me…” He said smugly, and Draco rolled his eyes in annoyance, 

“Don’t flatter yourself Potter! You’re hardly the only one around with green eyes!” Draco snapped. It took Harry a moment to get his brain to read between the lines of what Draco was saying, but when he did he jumped on the blond and started tickling him, 

“You are not allowed to fancy my mother!” He cried and Draco did his best to catch the flailing hands that were causing him to giggle rather uncontrollably and in a very undignified way, 

“Stop it, you _brute_! I do not fancy your mother!” He cried and managed to catch the hands only to have Harry straddle him and trap him under his body, “I already told you, I was drawn to her intellect!” 

“Intellect my arse.” Harry grumbled but tried to hide his smile all the same. A tousled, tittering Draco was not something one got to see every day after all, 

“And even if I did fancy Lily,” Draco continued, completely ignoring Harry, “Which I don’t! A lot of good it’ll do me, she’s dead!” He snarled, “Now, unhand me you savage homo!” Harry let out a snort of laughter and released his captive, dropping on the bed beside him, 

“Blond fag-hag.” He retorted happily. As soon as Draco was free he jumped from the bed and stuck his pointed nose in the air, straightening his rumpled clothes, 

“I’m off to seek more refined company,” He sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling, “Merlin forbid I'll ever find one in this house.” He muttered darkly and made his way to the door, followed by Harry’s snorted laughter quickly turned into a cough that sounded suspiciously like ‘snob’. 

As soon as Draco left the room Harry was feeling bored again. He knew that no matter how much he tried he wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything. Not when the promise of Remus’ gift was still lingering in the air. He tried his best not to think of what Draco suggested, lest he would be disappointed when it didn’t happen. Harry glanced at Jonah who was swaying softly in his pot, looking like he was dancing to music only he could hear. 

By the life of him Harry couldn’t fathom how the time zipped by while he was just staring at the ceiling and talking to Jonah. None of the others came by and Harry suspected they were all busy preparing for the party. The entire order was scheduled to arrive and yet Harry didn’t feel the slightest bit excited about the idea. After all, the party was hardly in _his_ honour… But before he knew it Remus’ head popped behind the door frame, 

“Hey there. I came to fetch you for the party.” Harry snorted and looked pointedly at the wall, 

“Can’t we just skip the party?” He asked with a slight whine in his voice, and Remus sighed and walked into the room, sitting on the edge of Harry’s bed, “I just don’t feel like having Ron and Molly ignore me all night. Molly is throwing this party for Neville anyway.” He said bitterly and Remus rubbed his calf in a comforting manner, 

“That’s not true. This party is for you just as much as it is for Neville and Molly is trying to do right by you.” He said in his most reassuring voice even though he was having a hard time believing his own words, 

“She still doesn’t accept us, that’s hypocrisy!” Harry argued and Remus tried to hold on to every last scrap of his adult attitude, recognizing that Harry needed some sort of outlet for his feelings, 

“That’s putting her issues aside so that you’ll have a proper birthday party. Look, we don’t have to be the life of the party, just smile and accept people’s best wishes and we’ll sneak out of there as soon as no-one's looking.” Harry perked up at the mention of slipping out of the party, 

“Promise?” 

“Promise. I still need to give you your birthday present…” Harry’s smile grew wider and he jumped up and wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, bringing their faces close for a heated kiss. When he pulled back a glimpse of colour caught his attention at the corner of his eye and he turned his head to see that Jonah had sprouted in full bloom, his flowers big and multicoloured, 

“You bloomed! Remus, look, Jonah is blooming!” He cried happily and went over to his plant, completely forgetting about Remus. Remus looked amused as Harry fussed over the blossoming pot, well at least something could still bring that radiant smile to Harry’s face now-a-days. “I’m so proud of you, Jonah, yes I am, you’re the best Happy Lily ever! I have to go now, but I promise I’ll be back as soon as possible.” 

“You know, you can move it to our room.” Remus offered and Harry turned to him, a completely scandalized expression on his face, 

“He’s only a sapling!” He cried and put his hands on both sides of Jonah, as if clamping them over his ears, “He’ll be damaged for life.” He chided Remus for even daring to suggest something like that. Remus tried to school his features blank, and nodded gravely. 

“Let’s just head downstairs.” He said in a slightly chocked voice, hoping the bubbling laughter could be contained for a little longer, not wanting to offend his lover, “The sooner we’re there the sooner we can leave.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Kneazle, Mizzle, Chizzle”, surprisingly enough, is _not_ a book about kneazles. I still haven’t decided what it _is_ about so don’t look for it in the shops as of yet. 
> 
> I had a plant named Jonah once, a Pothos _(Epipremnum aureum)._ Jonah was a good plant, very obedient. But then I moved out of my flat and I brought it over to my mum’s to stay. And I came back two weeks later only to find out that the little blighter was blooming! And my mum _never_ water her plants! So unfair… 
> 
> This chapter was running a bit long, and if I was going to write all I wanted for Harry’s present it’ll be at least as twice longer if not more, so I had to break it down to two parts. Sorry.


	37. 37

****

  
JADED

>..oo00oo..

Chapter Thirty-seven: And I think to myself, what a wonderful world  
(I know it’s a bit corny, but it’s King Louis…)

..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..

"Can I have my present now?" Harry demanded eagerly as he pulled Remus behind him, practically bouncing into the room. Remus called in every ounce of self-control he managed to scrape up just so he would not copy Harry in his childish enthusiasm. Someone had to play the grown up part here, and Remus had learned quite early in his relationship that as much as he'd like to goof around, he could never match the fire and heady youthfulness of his lover.

"Eager much, are we?" Remus answered pleasantly, trying to hide his smirk, but Harry was not in the least fazed, 

"Yes! You've been stringing me along all day!" He cried accusatory at Remus, who raised his hands in submission. Truth be told, it was high time he finally gave Harry his present, especially after the rather disastrous party they had just left. Harry had been right; Molly did throw the party in Neville's honour rather than in Harry's. 

It hurt Remus to learn how deep the woman's disapproval and prejudice ran, letting her forget all those times where her maternal instincts were kicking in to defend the poor and loveless Harry. It seemed to Remus that all those years of caring were erased in a heart beat just because she didn’t think he was good enough for her adoptive boy. Of course Remus would have much preferred it if she turned her malice directly against him, he would have been able to deal with it more adequately, he knew his own mother after all and she had given him plenty of love while she was alive, even after he was bitten, but Harry had only one maternal figure in his life (because from what Remus could remember thinking back of Jaime and Lily, there was no _mothering_ going around…), and that maternal figure was turning her back at him- on his birthday no less. 

Molly also declared war on Hermione, who proved to be just as stubborn as Molly. After her little 'hunger-strike' stunt, Molly was prepared to forgive and forget (especially when Neville showed up at dinner all sheepish and thoroughly ashamed and she couldn’t very well stay mad at someone who just lost the last of his blood relatives), but Hermione- the little wench, snuck out and got her and Draco some fish and chips from the shop on the corner and they ate them quite ostentatiously in the library. Of course what Molly didn't know was that Draco did not go down without a fight and only consented to try the gooey, greasy mess when he failed to unlock Remus' chocolate stash and the hunger just chased away his pride. 

And so, by the time Harry and Neville's birthdays rolled in, Molly was no longer on speaking terms with about half the residents of the house, and since she was the main source of food supply to the household, things indeed got dire. Molly didn’t dare to bring the situation to Dumbledore's attention, claiming the old man had far too much on his plate at the moment, and Harry refused to let yet another manipulative adult take charge of his life. As far as he was concerned, this was his hovel, but as much as he hated the house and all the gloomy memories of Sirius' entrapment in it, he still dared not going outside. 

The rumours of increased Death-Eaters activities were leaking through the walls it seemed and the internal war inside Grimmauld Place was nothing compared to the madness that was going on outside. The Prophet, no longer under the crushing thumb of the Ministry of Magic, was publishing the attacks daily; the WWN was also joining in the carnival and broadcasting the chaos. Remus was beginning to think that maybe the Minister should have put his foot down and stop the rumours becoming facts, like he did before because inevitably that only fuelled the forces of evil and pretty much did half of Voldemort's work for him, creating further panic with minimum hassle on his part.

Ron, true to his motherly heritage, hadn't changed his mind as of yet, and was still, rather stubbornly, not talking to Harry. Only now-a-days, Harry didn't seem to mind as much. Remus watched the drama unfold before his eyes and he knew that if Ron didn’t come to his senses soon, he would not only lose Harry as his best friend (because at this moment Harry was still willing to forgive and accept Ron back, but that state of benevolence wasn’t going to last forever), but he was going to lose Harry to his most hated enemy. Ron's discovery and the cold shoulder treatment that followed left an opening in the 'best mate' niche into which Draco had glided with all his grace and finesse and if Ron didn’t wake up soon, Harry was going to and realize that he didn't need Ron anymore. Remus thought it a shame, since he truly believed that seven years of friendship, forged with hair-raising, blood chilling adventures would prevail over an accident Harry had no control over. 

"Sit on the bed, there's something I need to ask you." Harry flopped gracelessly on the bed, looking at Remus with such shining eyes it made the older man feel quite self-conscious, especially when he considered what he was about to ask Harry. Remus took a deep breath and sat down next to his anticipating lover, trying not to gulp too consciously and ignoring the feel of wanting to loosen his collar a bit. 

“Is everything alright?” Remus’ odd behaviour was finally penetrating through the happy haze of Harry’s brain. For some reason Remus didn’t look half as excited as he was, 

“Yes. Harry, I know I was difficult in coming to terms with our relationship,” Remus said in a low voice, not daring to look Harry in the eye and twisting the hem of the blanket, “It was just so hard to believe that I got Jaime back…” Harry felt the cold fingers of fear starting to brush over his skin, 

“Remus, what are you saying?” He asked slowly, hoping beyond hope that nothing that was going on outside of this room was going to shake Remus’ belief in them, 

“Just that I love you, so much…” Harry’s eyes widened, his breath became shallow. He jumped up from the bed and started to pace the room, not sure whether he should feel rage, fear, disappointment or hurt, 

“Oh, good gods, you’re dropping me! Fuck, I knew it was too good to be true,” He shook his finger at the stunned Remus, continuing his pacing and babbling, “How could I have been so stupid, thinking you’d actually want someone like me… But, damn that’s the worst birthday gift ever! And that includes Uncle Vernon’s mouldy and foul socks!” When Harry stopped for a breath Remus saw his opportunity and jumped to his feet, grabbing the young man by the shoulders and leading him back to the bed, 

“Harry, relax!” He ordered in a firm tone, not letting Harry open his mouth to say anything more, “I never said I was going to break up with you.” He assured the boy, who visibly relaxed at that. Harry gave Remus a suspicious look, not letting himself relax completely in case Remus sprang a new horror on him, 

“Then why are you so serious?” He asked in an insecure, insulted voice, as if Remus was feeding his fears intentionally, 

“Because I…” Remus sighed and sat down next to his counterpart, “Because I’m worried you’ll say no.” He admitted in a small voice, feeling every bit the teenager he was when Jaime left him. He hated feeling that way and vowed to himself never to let anyone see him so vulnerable. But it seemed that getting his Jaime back brought over all the insecurity with it, and even though Remus hated to admit it, he was dead scared that Harry would up and leave him again, and this time he’d have lots more reasons for it as well. 

“Say no to what?” Now Harry was really intrigued. It felt like his stomach was fluttering with anxiety and hope, and the conversation he had with Draco that afternoon rushed back in his brain tenfold. Remus took Harry’s hand in his, stroking the knuckles and fixing his eyes on them, 

“To me asking for your hand.” He mumbled and the little fluttering in Harry’s stomach turned into a whole flock of Monarch butterflies taking off inside him. He pulled his hands to his face, covering his mouth, Remus looked up startled into the sparkling green eyes, 

“Oh, sweet Merlin’s dildo… Draco was right, you do want to marry me…” Remus smiled softly, glad that Harry was taking this quite well, at least he wasn’t running out of the room screaming… 

“Yes, I do. But not right now.” Harry stopped his little sway of happiness and looked at Remus with narrowed eyes, he might be young and uncultured in the ways of the world but wasn’t asking for someone’s hand a sign you wanted to marry that person? “I was thinking of a hand-fastening.” 

“What’s that?” Harry blurted out, completely confused. He saw the gleam in Remus eye that signalled the shifting to ‘professor mode’ and tried to hide his smile, 

“It is actually an ancient form of magic that binds two people in love.”

“So it _is_ marriage.” 

“In a way, in the old days it certainly was the main form of marriage but now a days most magical people prefer the muggle way and simply exchange vows and register at the ministry. Only old, pure-blooded families still practice the hand-fastening ritual.” Harry nodded seriously, finding himself once again being drawn by Remus’ almost hypnotic voice. He just loved to hear him explaining things. 

“Why?” The question tumbled off his lips so naturally, eager to have Remus reveal his knowledge, 

“Because it’s less constricting. Now days people don’t believe in ‘ever after’ and sharing power.” 

“Sharing power?” Remus nodded, this was actually fun. He couldn’t help it, he loved coming across as the knowledgeable one. And he loved how Harry was taking in all the information and looking at him wide-eyed and waiting for more. It was much more fun than trying to teach say, Hermione or Draco who always insisted they knew better than anyone else. 

“Yes. Hand-fastening will result in power sharing between the two performing it. The magical power of both parties will increase as they are able to tap into each other’s magical core. They would also be able to feel each other’s emotions to a certain degree, therefore enhancing the pleasure they derive from each other. This was especially important in families that practiced arranged marriage where the spouses hardly knew each other before marriage.” 

“And that’s a bad thing?” 

“No, not at all. But it does require a high level of comity between the two people.” Harry nodded sombrely, taking it all in. It didn’t sound too bad to him, in fact it sounded… Fucking incredible! This way Remus would truly be his! 

“So, you want to hand-fasten me?” Remus opened his mouth and shut it, not exactly sure how to answer that oddly phrased question, 

“Er… Yes, and yes.” 

“Huh?” Remus chuckled at Harry’s confused expression. 

“Yes, I would love to be hand-fastened _to_ you, and yes I wouldn’t mind at all hand-fastening you to… say the bed…” It took Harry a couple of seconds to catch on, but when he did he gave Remus a haughty look, 

“Not with that cheeky attitude you won’t!” Remus laughed, feeling like a load had just come off his shoulders, Harry still hasn’t said a final yes, but as least he was still here, and making jokes! 

“So, what’s your answer? I can’t give you anything other than myself.” Harry smiled, 

“I never asked for anything else. But are you really okay with it?” He asked quietly but it seemed that Remus wasn’t really listening to him, 

“I would understand if it’s too much for you… There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t accept my offer and if you won’t than I shall… OUCH!” He cried and rubbed his forehead, looking quite affronted at Harry for flicking it, “What the hell was that for?” 

“That’s what you’re going to get every time you doubt your own worth. Now let’s try this again,” He said calmly at Remus who was still rubbing his forehead, looking like an admonished little child, “You’re willing to tie yourself to me?” Remus sighed and lowered his hand, 

“When Jaime left me I knew that I would never love anyone again. I’ve never let anyone get close to me. I’ve always used my lycanthropy as a shield of sorts. It sounds funny when I say it but it’s true.” Remus was fumbling with the blanket again, feeling strange finally admitting these things even to himself. “I suppose in a way I hid behind the wolf so that I won’t get hurt. Leave them before they have a chance to find out what I really was. But Jaime… Jaime was particularly stubborn and he somehow managed to get past all my defences.” Harry smiled, it was actually funny the way Remus kept switching between Jaime and him, sometimes referring to them as one and sometimes as two separate entities. It made Harry feel like he had a twin, someone that was him and yet not entirely so. Remus looked up, his golden eyes boring into Harry’s, “And now you’re back, and I could never let anyone else into my heart, so… I might as well make it count, you understand?” 

“Yes.” Remus sagged a little with relief, 

“Good, because this can be a little mind-boggling.” Harry smiled again, taking Remus’ face in his hands and bringing them closer, 

“No, silly. Yes, of course I’ll hand-fasten with you!” He whispered and pressed a soft kiss to Remus’ quirking lips, “This is the best birthday present ever!” He cried out triumphantly and Remus smiled wider. Harry bounced on the bed, rubbing his hands gleefully, “So, what do we do?” Remus cleared his throat, thoroughly caught in his lover’s enthusiasm, but in his own quiet and subdued way, 

“This spell is very old, it comes from the days of yore, when… What?” He asked suspiciously when Harry bit his lip in amusement, 

“Nothing, I just love hearing you say things like, ‘days of yore’ it makes you sound so… sophisticated, and _schooled_ …” He leaned forward with shining eyes and Remus shook his head fondly, 

“Don’t start!” He warned with his finger pointed at Harry, “Anyway, this spell is ancient and is in Hebrew, it goes…” Before he could say anything more Harry lifted his hand, 

“Wait, shouldn’t we be naked?” 

“What for?” Remus asked confused, and Harry rolled his eyes, what for indeed… “The ceremony doesn’t call for nudity. In days of… in the old days, there were witnesses so being naked would have been a tad awkward.” Harry contemplated smacking Remus upside down the head, but he figured this would not be too conducive to getting them into the spirit of things, gods but Remus could be so thick sometimes… 

“Yes, but I don’t see any witnesses around, and thank Merlin for that,” Harry said slowly in his most sarcastic tone, “And I fully intend on making the best out of our ‘wedding night’ so clothes are only going to be a hindrance.” Remus chuckled at that, 

“You say I’m the horny one, but you can’t even think with your clothes on.” Harry gave him one of his brightest smiles,

“No, my sexy wolf, I can’t think with _your_ clothes on.” Remus threw his head back and laughed joyfully. He just loved the way Harry made him feel like a randy teenager. 

“You’re insatiable.” He accused him fondly, “Well, go on then, strip for me, my little hussy.” Harry jumped from the bed and quickly shed his garments. Remus looked at him with great amusement. Harry must have been especially eager tonight or he would have given Remus a proper show, something that he’d greatly improved on since the first time he was requested to a striptease. Once Harry was completely naked he walked over to Remus, who was still fully clothed and sat on the bed and started tugging softly at his clothes, his green eyes firmly fixed on the honeyed pools of his lover’s. Nimble fingers worked his shirt open, finger-pads softly stroking Remus’ skin, making the older man shiver slightly. Then Harry dropped to his knees and smiled seductively at his lover before he popped the button and lowered the zipper of his trousers. 

“Stop teasing…” Remus begged hoarsely and Harry’s smile grew wider. He stood up and walked backwards a couple of steps, his hands raised before him. Remus rolled his eyes, “I said don’t tease, I didn’t say stop entirely.” He grumbled but finished undressing all the same. Once he was done, Harry jumped back on the bed, ready for them to move on. Remus smiled at him, feeling his heart flutter at the keen look on Harry’s face. So open and trusting, so… his. At times like these it was almost pathetic how grateful Remus was feeling. 

“Ok, like I said, this spell is in Hebrew, so I’ll say it. Hold my hands.” Harry did as he was told and Remus took another deep breath, rehearsing in his mind all the little details of the ceremony. He summoned his wand to him and pressed his forehead gently to Harry’s, closing his eyes. 

“Dodi yarad le’gano, le’arugot ha’bosem—lirot ba’ganim ve’lilkot shoshanim. Ani le’dodi ve’dodi li, ha’roe ba’shoshanim.”

Harry let the magic wash over him, listening to Remus’ melodic voice speaking words he didn’t know, the way Remus’ tongue wrapped around the foreign words made them sound like they were meant to be sang rather than spoken and Harry liked it a lot. He felt the warmth enveloping them both, bringing them closer together and he was pretty sure that if he opened his eyes he’d see them both glowing. 

When Remus finished reciting his verses Harry gingerly opened his eyes. If they were glowing at one point it must have faded by now, but Harry was left feeling much more serene and peaceful, and he didn’t even care that they were only sitting on the bed holding hands. At long last he decided to crack an eye open, 

“Did it work?” He asked in a hushed voice, and Remus lazily opened his eyes, smiling. He lifted Harry’s right hand to his face, and Harry’s breath caught in his chest. On his right wrist, surrounding it like a bracelet was a shimmering Celtic-knot-work like, “It’s so beautiful…” He whispered and launched himself on Remus, tackling him back on the bed and kissing him with much gusto. Remus returned the kiss, feeling more complete than he’d felt in ages. Harry’s insistent rocking against his pelvis was causing Remus to go light-headed with need.

Pulling back from Harry’s lips with some reluctance he managed to whisper a spell before he tossed his wand aside. Harry’s eyes glazed over and he winced slightly at the alien feeling of his anus being stretched and lubricated without being penetrated. It somewhat surprised him, as he didn’t even know such a spell existed. 

“Sorry,” Remus murmured against his neck, “I didn’t think I’d have lasted doing it the traditional way.” The murmured voice broke Harry’s daze and he smiled wantonly with the realization of what exactly the spell was meant for hit him. Before Remus had a chance to move them to a more comfortable position Harry rose to his knees and pulling Remus’ face in for a long kiss he carefully and deliberately impaled himself. 

The two shared a hearty moan at the feeling and almost immediately began to rock together. Remus’ hands were roaming all over Harry’s sweat-slicked back, trying to get as much contact as possible, while his mouth was happily devouring Harry’s. He thought he could feel magical tendrils swirling around them, making the hair at the back of his neck stand on end. He loved the feeling, it reminded him that he and Harry were now joined at a higher level than just physical. 

Harry, on his part, kept his hands locked tight around Remus’ neck, doing his best to hold on against the erratic thrusts. It felt so good to feel Remus inside him again. Every time he let Remus do that he felt like the luckiest man alive. The way Remus would lavish attention and affection on different parts of him always made Harry want to sob with gratitude, and tonight… Tonight he was Remus’ whole and complete. 

“Do you know what this reminds me of?” He asked breathlessly, his eyes closed and his head thrown back, his entire being soaring with emotion. 

“What?” Remus grunted, not wholly interested in having a conversation just then, 

“The first time we… Oh gods yes!” Harry cried and bounced a little harder when Remus’ cock hit his prostate just as Remus’ fingers twisted his nipple, causing explosions of desire flare all over his body, “Made love…” He finished with a soft whimper, begging Remus to repeat his actions, which his lover gladly did, along with a generous bite to Harry’s neck, 

“Mmm, all that’s missing is a Gryffindor tie…” Remus chuckled softly, knowing too well that it would make Harry’s day that he still remembered that. Of course, Remus would never be able to forget how wholly Harry gave himself to him that night and every time he remembered his body started shivering and his cock twitched with interest. Harry grinned happily at the answer, 

“I have one in my trunk…” He offered, his eyes twinkling, and Remus chuckled again, not that he minded much tying his lover to the bed again, but he seriously doubted either of them was still able to get hold of the tie and play with it right now. 

“Up for a little summoning?” He asked and brushed Harry’s prostate again, making the young man’s eyes go slightly askew. Harry panted and shook his head, not really registering what was the question anymore as he felt Remus’ hand on his cock, bringing him quickly to completion. He exploded between them, covering his and his bond-mate’s chests with his release, clenching hard around Remus’ and bringing the wolf down with a mighty growl. 

Harry pressed his forehead to Remus’, breathing hard and flushed. He didn’t want the feeling of fullness to end, and clenched around Remus’, ensuring his cock would not slip out of his channel before Harry was ready to release him. Whenever he thought about what took place that night he smiled. Looking down at his right wrist and seeing that shimmering band made him grin wider, assuring him that was not just a dream. 

“How long will these last?” He asked, rotating his wrist and smiling as the band’s shine seemed to shift and glow with the room’s light. Truth be told, he didn’t want them to go away at all. In fact, he knew that by tomorrow all of his friends were going to see them, even Ron and Molly. 

“Until we decide to break it up.” Remus said quietly, the post-coitus bliss making his eyes drop and his voice low and sleepily seductive, “But don’t worry, no one but us can see them. Unless we tap into each other’s magic.” Harry’s shoulders slumped a little at that, his brilliant plan to boast and glow in front of everyone crushed before it even had a chance to take place, but he didn’t really care, as long as he and Remus could see the bands and know they’re real. 

“And what about these?” Harry asked, tracing a small symbol on Remus’ upper thigh with wonder. He hadn’t really noticed these before but the flush of colour caught his eye when Remus shifted his leg a bit. The symbol wasn’t a defined shape as far as Harry could tell, to him it looked like some Chinese letter surrounded by a circle. He’d have to examine it more closely, when he wasn’t feeling so lethargic and sated. 

“That too would go if we decide to split. But it’s like a tattoo in a way, anyone could see it. I guess that’s why it showed up in a place not many people would see it.” He tried to sound as if he knew what he was talking about but in fact Remus had no idea this would happen. The shimmering bands, yes, he knew all about how they were going to appear to all for a minute or so after the bonding charm was complete, and then remain only for the eyes of the couple but he didn’t really know he’d regain yet another mark to share with Harry. He didn’t really mind, though. 

“Good,” Harry murmured, leaning in to place a chaste kiss on Remus’ lips, “That means you’re not going anywhere.” 

“Not if we keep this position for much longer,” Remus chuckled, “My legs are getting all cramped.” Harry pulled back, his face a mask of concern and his eyes shining with mischief, 

“Oh, sorry,” He simpered in mock sympathy, moving backward and closing his eyes briefly as he felt Remus’ cock slipping from him, “I forgot that you’re an old man and should be treated with care…” Remus’ eyes narrowed and his mouth quirked with a smile he tried to hide. Harry couldn’t help but giggle at the look on Remus’ face and scampered further along the bed, moving away from Remus, but he didn’t get very far before his wolf pounced at him, 

“I’ll show you old man, cheeky brat!” Remus growled and Harry shrieked with laughter and squirmed wildly when his sensitive sides were attacked by his lover’s nimble fingers.

**\--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--:--**

When Remus opened his eyes he was smiling. He looked down at his beautiful lover, which was now his… spouse? And his smile grew wider. Harry was still fast asleep, his face turned away from Remus and his chest rising and falling steadily. Remus watched the slumbering boy and his eyes fell on his own arm, wrapped protectively over the lean torso of Harry, the Celtic like knot-work band shimmering in the morning light around his wrist. The band that made him Harry’s and Harry’s his, that band that made them one. Remus could feel a bubbly happy feeling spreading from the pit of his stomach to the rest of him. No regrets, none whatsoever, just complete awe and adoration for the man in his arms. Harry stirred and stretched languidly, burrowing further into the warm body beside him. Remus pressed a soft kiss to the youth’s temple and Harry smiled in his sleep.

“Wake up, Green Eyes.” Remus whispered and Harry let out a small whine, 

“Don’ wanna.” 

“Come on, Cailean,” Remus prompted, “We’ll go down to breakfast and then come back up here and slouch in bed all day long.” Harry turned his face, still keeping his eyes firmly closed and rubbed his face in his lover’s chest, not entirely convinced at the wisdom of the proffered plan, 

“Why do we have to go down at all?” He grumbled, his voice muffled by Remus’ body, causing the older man to squirm a little at the puffs of air ghosting over his skin, 

“Because I’m hungry and if I know anything about you, I know you’re going to keep me busy for a long time and I need the energy.” Remus explained gravely, as if the thought of all that activeness was making him tired already. Harry sighed into Remus’ chest, it just felt too good to be just held and caressed and cared for. 

“Alright, a quick breakfast and after that we’re straight back here.” He pulled himself out of Remus’ warm arms, rolling over and getting up from the bed. Remus took a moment to appraise the form of his lover stretching, watching the muscles dance on Harry’s back, 

“Wouldn’t dream of stalling.” He muttered, doing his best to sound unimpressed but Harry could tell his mate was excited even without turning around. He shot Remus a smile over his shoulder, wriggling his arse a little for his lover’s benefit and strode into the en-suite bathroom. 

Remus took his time, stretching lazily on the bed, feeling like a big cat with the world’s biggest cream vat at his disposal. Before he could force his muscles into action Harry bounded back from the loo and jumped on top of his lover, causing all the wind to be pushed out of Remus’ lungs in a loud ‘whoosh’. He looked at the grinning face of Harry, 

“What?” Harry leaned forward and whispered conspiratorially in Remus’ ear, 

“We got married last night.” He smiled wide and Remus rolled his eyes, he didn’t really think it was time to correct Harry on his statement, nor did he want to, “You’re my mate now.” Harry grinned and rose from Remus’ chest. Much to Remus’ amusement he actually started bouncing on the bed, like a three years old child, causing Remus to wobble none too gently from side to side. 

“Werewolves don’t have mates.” Remus argued with a smile, Harry stopped his bouncing long enough to fix Remus with a glare, 

“But wolves do and you’re mine.” 

“Yes, that I am.” Remus agreed and Harry bounced even higher, lifting his arms over his head and spinning around every time his feet left the groaning mattress. Remus watched his laughing lover for a while before he reached out and snatched Harry in mid-jump causing him to fall messily on top of him, 

“Breakfast, lover. Now.” He growled low and Harry couldn’t stop a small giggle, Remus was just so good at the whole ‘Alpha male’ gig, and it never failed to arouse Harry. 

Together they got dressed in light summer robes before they headed to the kitchen. Remus could feel Harry was very close to bursting and he knew their secret would not stay their own for long. But he didn’t really mind, after the horrible way _certain_ people have been treating Harry all summer he was quite looking forward to rubbing it in their faces. 

When they entered the kitchen Harry immediately caught Draco’s eye and he couldn’t stop the grin from spreading on his face at the cocked eyebrow from the blond. Draco grinned back and gave him the thumbs-up, which caused Harry to blush a little, and Remus to roll his eyes. 

But before Harry and Remus had even managed to take a step towards their seats the grate erupted in green flames and out stepped a grave looking Dumbledore. As soon as Harry’s saw his mentor’s face he knew something was wrong. He grabbed Remus’ hand without even realizing it and clenched his jaw, trying to draw comfort and courage from his mate. He just knew bad news was coming their way from the fact that Dumbledore’s blue eyes were not twinkling anymore. Harry felt his breath hitching in his chest and a bitter feeling rising in him, it was just so unfair that he got so little time to enjoy the most important thing in his life. 

Dumbledore looked around the room, all of its occupants staring right back at him, with various degrees of fear and trepidation written all over their faces. He sighed, how he wished he didn’t have to say what he came to say. How he wished things could have been different. 

“Ladies, gentlemen, I bring grave news. We are at war.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suppose I could have gone and try to find something in Latin but then all you Latin speakers (Yes, yes I know you’re hiding out there…) would start going on and on about how shitty my Latin is, and they would be right because frankly, I don’t speak it. But I do speak Hebrew, and quite well, so you can’t give me grief over it, and that’s why I decided to go with it, besides, the ‘song of songs’ is a really neat text- though a tad bit stalkish/obsessive… 
> 
> Just because I know you’re not going to go and open a bible (I don’t blame you, I didn’t either, just surfed the net…) I included a translation to the verses. It’s from the- www. jewishvirtuallibrary. org, so those aren’t even my words…   
> 'My beloved is gone down into his garden, to the beds of spices, to feed in the gardens, and to gather lilies.  
> I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine, that feedeth among the lilies.'
> 
> ‘Days of yore’ is one of my favourite phrases, too bad it never seem right in a conversation… 
> 
> Don’t you just love to hear Remus explaining things…? 
> 
> What Remus didn’t explain is that if they chose to break up, they don’t have to break their hand-fastening. They could still marry other people (though that would probably give a whole new meaning to the term mythological ex…), but they could not hand-fasten to another while they’re still bonded.


	38. 38

****

  
JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Thirty-eight: Well, everywhere is war, me say war   
(Title from ‘War’ by Bob Marley and ‘The Wailers’, Album- Rastaman Vibration)

..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..

A soft groan was heard, nearly a moan really, and Harry briefly wondered who was hurt. He waited; eyes firmly closed trying to pinpoint the direction in which the moan was coming from. Soon a second moan followed, and this time Harry knew it was coming from him, and the realization made his eyes snap open.

Everything around him was white, pristine white and nothing more. Harry tried to quench the feeling of horror that was spreading fast inside him, why was everything so white? Where the hell was he? If this was death and Heaven, it certainly sucked. He closed his eyes and wished Remus was here to hold him, but that would mean Remus was dead as well, wouldn’t it? Harry sighed; he didn’t want his wolf to die, but spending the rest of eternity alone? 

After a while he sighed and opened his eyes again, deciding there was nothing for it. In front of him floated the grinning face of Ginny Weasley and Harry sucked in a shocked breath. Why does everyone insist on watching him sleep? He squashed the brief feeling of disappointment at seeing his death-partner, telling himself that Ginny was better than nothing. 

“Oh, good, you’re awake. How are you feeling?” For the first time since he woke up Harry took the time to look around him. White ceiling joined to white wall and down to a white screen and… bullocks, heaven looked just like the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts… What a hell.

“Where am I?” He croaked, shocked that the squeaky voice was coming from him, “Am I dead?” Ginny chuckled softly, 

“No such luck, I’m afraid,” She said happily, “You’re in the Hospital Wing, naturally.” Harry sighed again, well, that was a good sign, at least he had something to look forward to when he _did_ die, a place that did not look like the bloody Hogwarts infirmary. 

“What happened? Where’s Remus?” He cried, suddenly eager to see the man, just to make sure Remus wasn’t dead. That would royally suck if he managed to cheat death only to be left alone. He looked up at Ginny again, noticing for the first time she was wearing uniform quite similar to the ones Madame Pomfrey used to wear, “What are _you_ doing here?” He blurted rather rudely but Ginny didn’t seem fazed by it, 

“Aren’t you curious today…” She clacked her tongue at him, “I’m here as Madame Pomfrey’s assistant,” She said proudly, something that was completely lost on Harry, “And your boyfriend is just over there.” She finished somewhat dryly, pointing her thumb behind her. 

“Is he hurt?” Harry asked, craning his neck, trying to get a glimpse behind the curtain, 

“Nope, just recovering from the Full Moon.” 

“I want to see him.” Harry said in a tone that broke no argument. But he forgot that he was talking to a girl that had six older brothers and was hardly moved by commanding voices, 

“Harry, you’ve been out of it for quite a while,” She said gently, “You should rest.” 

“Please Ginny; I want to see him…” Harry tried to plea, with his best puppy-dog eyes and pout. Ginny weighed the pros and cons of letting Harry out of bed, on the one hand, he shouldn’t leave the bed no matter what, on the other hand, knowing who her patient was- it was very likely Harry would try to sneak out of his bed anyway, and that undoubtedly would end up worse than if she helped him. 

“Oh, alright.” She finally decided, “But don’t come crying to me when Madame Pomfrey fries your arse for getting up too soon!” She threatened with a raised finger at Harry, who grinned sweetly at her, 

“Thanks Gin.” He cried happily. Ginny helped him get off the bed, and Harry groaned again as his muscles where forced back into action after who knows how long, and forced him into a wheelchair. Harry decided he wasn’t about to argue with her on her treating him like an invalid, partly because he wanted to stay on her good graces and partly because he was feeling rather weak. 

Ginny wheeled him around the curtain and Harry’s breath caught in his throat, looking at the pale man lying in the bed. Remus looked quite ragged, more so than usual after the Full Moon and Harry wondered just how long he’d been in a coma. With the help of Ginny he climbed onto Remus’ bed and settled beside his bond-mate. Ginny watched as Harry tenderly reached over and brushed the fringe back from Remus’ forehead, causing the wolf to stir. She smiled softly and retreated quietly, giving the couple their privacy. 

“Hello Pookybear.” Harry said softly when the groggy amber eyes slowly opened. Remus blinked a few times, wondering what sort of bizarre dream was that, and reaching out his hand to poke Harry lightly in the arm, just to make sure. 

“Well, well, well,” He smirked feebly, “Look who’s back from the beyond.” Harry’s smile broadened, 

“Did you miss me?” He asked in a satisfied voice, 

“Very much.” Harry sighed in bliss and let his head drop gently onto Remus’ shoulder. The older man pulled his lover closer, needing to reassure himself that Harry was indeed awake after so long. 

“What the hell happened?” Harry asked after a while, “I can’t remember anything.” 

“Well, you were in a coma for five weeks.” Harry’s head lifted in shock, 

“Five weeks?” 

“Yup.” Five weeks… Harry returned his head to Remus’ shoulder, feeling completely overwhelmed with the fact that he just missed five whole weeks of his life, five weeks in which he was suppose to establish his relationship with Remus, five weeks to celebrate the fact they were bonded together. An alarming thought crossed Harry’s mind and he lifted his wrist to his face for inspection. He let out a relieved breath when he saw the shimmering band still circling the column of his arm. 

“Five weeks…” 

“Indeed, five weeks is a long time for me and my right hand all by our lonesome selves.” Remus said in a grave tone, which made Harry simper, 

“Oh, you poor thing…” Remus gave him a little kiss on the crown of Harry’s head. Harry would have preferred if they cut the bullshit and went straight for the five weeks worth of sex, but sadly he knew that both he and Remus were completely out of shape for that sort of thing right now, 

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Remus’ voice was cutting through Harry’s calculations of how long it would take for both of them to be fit for sex again and he took a moment to ponder on that, 

“Hmm, let’s see… I remember Dumbledore declaring war…” 

“Ah, well, that was quite a while back…” Remus mused; trying to find a way to broach the subject in a way that would not leave Harry feeling like every damn thing that goes wrong with the world was his personal fault. “After the old man declared war the entire house went into quarantine. No more trips to the corner shop for fish and chips, no more working at the twins’ shop, in fact- Molly even called in Fred and George, demanding they stay at Grimmauld Place in case someone tried something funny with their store.”

“So everyone was stuck in the house?” Harry asked in astonishment, gods if he didn’t know any better he’d say it was a crafty and cunning plan of Voldemort’s. “Merlin, the tension must have lifted the roof!” Remus smiled in reminiscent, 

“Oh, yeah it was quite fun,” He chirped and Harry smiled, “Draco refused to leave his room, Molly barricaded herself in the kitchen, supplying meals and sour faces, Hermione went into a complete meltdown, yelling and screaming about how unfair it was that she could do nothing, Ron walked around looking like his pet kneazle just died and I don’t have to tell you what Fred and George are like when trapped indoors!” 

“I’m starting to feel glad I can’t remember any of this…” Harry muttered, snuggling closer to Remus. He didn’t really care anymore what went on in the house since his birthday, he was just too happy and content to be in his lover’s arms again, 

“I don’t blame you.” Remus said with a sigh. Lucky Harry. “Do you… Hum… Have you ever heard of Horcruxes?” Remus asked tentatively, not wanting to reawaken painful memories for Harry. 

“Yes, Dumbledore wants me to find and destroy them.” Harry answered in monotones, wondering where the hell he should even start his search, 

“After Dumbledore pretty much sealed the house, he decided to send only the older members of the order to hunt them.” Remus explained, knowing he’d have to ease Harry into the news, building up the story of the war so that the young man would understand fully, 

“You? You went hunting for Horcruxes?” Harry nearly jumped to his feet and started pacing the room but Remus’ strong arms kept him in place, “How could Dumbledore let you do that? It’s far too dangerous!” 

“For an old and frail man like me?” Remus asked dryly. He didn’t like the argument the first time they had it and it felt just as annoying now, 

“No, that’s not what I meant…” Harry at least had the decency to blush, 

“I know,” Remus said clemently, “And I refuse to have this argument with you again. Besides,” He said, unable to resist repeating his main assertion, “If it’s dangerous for me than it would be ten times more so for you.” 

“But I have to do it,” Harry whispered miserably, “It’s in the prophecy…” 

“Bullshit!” Harry looked up at his mate, quite shocked to hear the man using curse words, and with such vigour no less. “The stupid prophecy said nothing about you having to hunt down bloody pieces of Voldemort’s soul!” Remus felt like hexing Dumbledore every time the prophecy was mentioned, how could this man, who claimed he loved Harry like his own grandson (or possibly great-great grandson) could have messed with his mind like that? It still irked Remus thinking of how the old man manipulated him and how Remus was too weak to fight him off and thus causing Harry’s childhood to be the worst thing imaginable. “Dumbledore just thought it was more convenient.” He snarled and Harry tried to smile, his heart filling with love and adoration for the man who wanted to protect him while his mind was objecting the character assassination of his mentor. 

“So… _You_ went to hunt them instead of me?” Remus shrugged, 

“Not much of a hunt really, Dumbledore apparently had this ‘secret source’ who knew exactly where each one of the Horcruxes was hidden so it was fairly easy. Me, Tonks and her merry band of Aurors had them all gathered and rid of within a week.” 

“Tonks and her merry band of Aurors?” Remus smiled, his eyes glinting, 

“You didn’t actually think that Kingsley or Moody were in charge, did you?” Harry nodded, 

“Guess not.” He returned his head to Remus’ chest, letting the soft and steady heartbeat under his ear relax him, combined with Remus’ melodic voice; Harry just hoped he wouldn’t fall asleep before Remus finished his story. “So you found and destroyed all the Horcruxes?” 

“All save for two. One was Voldemort himself, and the other was…” 

“Me.” Remus looked down at the young man in his arms. Harry’s whole posture radiated with misery. 

“What?” Harry lifted his head, looking at Remus with an apologetic and pleading look, pointing at his scar as a way of explanation, 

“The other Horcrux was me, right?” Remus carded his fingers through the impossibly messy dark locks, smiling at his lover, 

“I’m very sorry to disappoint you cub, but no, you’re not a Horcrux.” He said with tightness that was hiding his smile. Must Harry be so dramatic all the time? “Voldemort tried to kill you because he, like so many other fools in our world, believed in a prophecy. You survived because of Lily’s protection, the killing curse was deflected from you and it hit Voldemort instead, that’s how you got your scar.” 

“I know that!” Harry called, miffed at the fact that Remus, of all people was treating him like a retarded four years old, “But there’s this connectiong between me and Voldemort.” Remus shrugged, 

“A side effect, something Voldemort didn’t plan. That doesn’t make you a Horcrux.” Harry sighed and looked away, that was good news, surely, but in a way it was also almost disappointing. Ever since he learned of the existence of Horcruxes he truly believed he was one of them, which made it all the harder to think about what killing Voldemort would mean. And now… 

“So… What was the last Horcrux?” He asked in a small voice, 

“It was Nagini, Voldemort’s snake.” Harry nodded absently, still shocked by the revelation. Remus decided he’d give the young man all the time he needed in order for him to come to terms with the fact that maybe things weren’t exactly as he thought. Remus, much like Lily had, never believed in the stupid prophecy of a demented woman. Prophecies only came true because people were so adamant to see them through to the end. And poor Harry had this prophecy drilled into his mind ever since he was fifteen years old with no one to put his foot down and force the lad to think for himself. 

“So…” Harry’s quiet, almost childish voice brought Remus back from the dark path his thoughts have taken, “What was it like, out there I mean.” 

“Out there?” Remus asked, trying to stall for time, because he could feel where this was heading and frankly that made him feel worse, because again he did nothing, convincing himself that it was for Harry’s best, 

“I’ve been cooped up in that house for so long I can’t even remember what ‘out there’ looks like.” 

“It was only three months…” Remus was fighting a losing battle with his conscience, 

“Three months in a house full of people who hate me,” Harry supplied dryly, “It felt like eons to me.” Remus sagged a little, this was just unfair, 

“Yes, I suppose it was eons. Especially for a jittery, horny teenager. That’s just wrong! By all means you should be out there, having fun, going to pubs and clubs and movies and not worry about a madman’s megalomania!” 

“I’ve never been to a club before.” Harry mused slowly, and Remus couldn’t help but smile, 

“Then we’ll just have rectify this very soon.” He couldn’t help getting caught in the image of Harry in a club, dancing and moving that sweet and delicious body to the rhythm of the music, colourful lights twinkling and washing over him, dressed in fitted clothes and writhing against Remus as they moved together… Remus had to stop and mentally fan himself least he got too excited, which would not be good for either of them, 

“You’re going to take me to a club?” Harry asked, astonished. He always associated clubs with sin and one-night-stands and the last thing he wanted was to lose Remus to some faceless twink. 

“Why? You think I’m too old to go clubbing?” Remus challenged him, and Harry rolled his eyes, gods those couple of days just after the full moon always made Remus feel like he was a hundred years old and that made him grouchy, just like the old man he wasn’t. 

“No! Stop being so sensitive!” He chided his lover, and Remus’ lip curled in a lopsided smile, “Gods, this is going to be so much fun!” Harry smiled to himself, going out with Remus would be the epitome of fun as far as he was concerned. “Er… What does one do in a club…” 

“That would depend on what type of club you’re going to.” Harry’s green eyes opened wide, 

“There are types?” 

“You’re so adorable,” Remus laughed, delighted in Harry’s unrestrained reactions, “And Merlin but you make me feel old…” 

“I love you.” Harry said in a soft voice, reaching in for Remus’ lips. The two men shared a moan as their mouths met. It’d been far too long since they did anything like this and Remus had missed his little sexy wolf so much he felt slightly overwhelmed. 

“Mmm, me too.” Remus mumbled against Harry’s lips, before pulling back and settling back into his former position, “We got a little side-tracked there, I assume you meant what went out there war-wise,” Harry gave his lover a tired look, was Remus serious? “Anyway, it was quite chaotic, to be truly honest,” Remus prattled on, not in the least bit discouraged by Harry’s disinterest. “But not as bad as it was during the time of the first war.” Harry frowned at him, 

“Really? Why?” 

“I think it was because this time round people knew more of what was going on, the Ministry of Magic was quite forward this time.” Harry snorted in dismiss, 

“It’s about bloody time! After Fudge tried to deny Voldemort’s return for a better part of a year.” Making me look like a delusional and demented person in the process, Harry thought bitterly, because even after all this time it still hurt that just when he was at his lowest, after witnessing Cedric’s death and involuntarily assisting the snake-face git’s return, Fudge came with all the power of his position and kicked him in the ribs, just to make sure Harry would stay on the ground. 

“Fudge was an idiot,” Remus stated flatly, “But then again, so was Scrimgeour, but he was a different kind of idiot. I’m really glad he got booted out of office after the war.”

“Really? So who’s Minister now?” 

“The job was first offered to Arthur Weasley, who said he didn’t want such strenuous job. Then they tried to give it to Kingsley Shacklebolt, and they say the entire building was shaking from his deep booming laughter, and then, finally they offered it to Amelia Bones, who was the most qualified person in the first place.” Harry chuckled softly, 

“I bet Hermione had something to say in the matter.” 

“Oh, you mean the Howler she send the ministry calling every last male there a chauvinistic pig?” 

“Something like that, yes.” Harry yawned and stretched languidly next to Remus, who stroked his hair with an amused expression, 

“Had enough for one day?” He asked softly but Harry shook his head, 

“No, continue, I like hearing you speak.” He muttered and Remus smiled, 

“Alright, so back to the story. While we were trapped in Grimmauld Place you were sent to train with Tonks and Moody in the ballroom.” Harry looked up in puzzlement, 

“What ballroom?” 

“The one in Grimmauld Place.” Remus chuckled at Harry’s confused expression. Too bad Harry couldn’t remember a thing, because he would sure relish this one. “You remember the first day of summer, when you yelled Mrs. Black’s portrait to submission?” Harry nodded, a small smile gracing his face, too bad Sirius hadn’t been there to see it, “Well, three days after your birthday there was an accident involving Tonks and the umbrella stand…” Harry rolled his eyes, in a way it was good to know that no matter what happened and what horrors and war were raging outside, Nymphadora Tonks still could not tell one foot from the other. 

“Figures…” 

“Yeah, anyway, you got fed up with Mrs. Black’s screeching and yelled at her again, this time with a blast of very impressive wandless magic, which resulted in two things. One, everyone found out about our hand-fastening, and two, you blew Mrs. Black clean off the wall and then we discovered that behind her portrait was a massive ballroom no-one knew existed.” Harry stared at Remus in complete shock, 

“Fuck, I’m sorry…” 

“What for? We actually threw a party for the occasion. You even got snogged by Tonks.” Remus said happily, but Harry looked rather sceptical, 

“I did?” 

“Yup, but I growled her away.” He assured his young lover and Harry sniggered, pressing a kiss to Remus’ lips, 

“My sexy wolf…” He said with a wide grin, “But I meant I’m sorry about everyone finding out about us like that.” Remus shrugged, 

“I’m not. It was bound to come out at some point, especially in that pressure-cooker of a house. Hermione was actually the first one to see the potential in the situation. At first she suggested that you bond yourself to everyone who consented in order to increase your powers but you quickly put you foot down on that one.” 

“I should very much hope so!” Harry cried out, completely miffed. Yes, Hermione was a good friend (better since the whole ‘Ron issue’), but there was a limit to how much he’d take from even her! Remus smiled wide, obviously remembering some happy memories, 

“Oh, yeah, it was very romantic, you stood there in front of the lot, explaining how we got bonded out of love and not because of power enhancement.” He smiled sweetly down at his mate, “I was awfully proud of you.” Harry gave him a cocky smile in return, sliding closer to whisper in Remus’ ear, 

“Did I get anything to show for it?” Remus’ smile turned into a snicker which soon grew to a full laughter, 

“A day off training on account of a sore arse.” Harry’s eyed snapped wide open with horror, surely Remus was joking… 

“Oh, gods…” 

“Yeah, and apparently we forgot to put up a silencing charm that night as well….” Harry buried his face in Remus’ shoulder, feeling completely mortified at the thought. Remus wiped tears of laughter from his eyes, five months after the fact, he could definitely see the comical potential of the incident. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck… That’s so embarrassing…” Harry lamented softly, his voice muffled by Remus’ shirt, 

“Yes, you’re quite lucky you don’t remember any of this,” Because if you did we wouldn’t hear the end of it, just like we did back then… “Anyway, that got us all thinking and it took a couple of weeks but we did it.” Harry lifted his head in curiosity, 

“Did what?” 

“Created an amulet that would enable anyone who was willing to share power to do so and enhance your own.” Remus explained, gods if they had only thought of it a decade earlier… 

“And then what happened?” Remus stroked the dark hair, taking a deep breath before he plunged back into his tale, 

“The final battle took place on the thirty first of October.” Harry snorted in dismissal, 

“How bloody symbolic…” 

“Yeah, Voldemort seemed to think so too. He lured us all to his father’s graveyard. It was really cold that night, we all stood there, freezing our bums off. It was actually quite funny to watch the Death Eaters, standing there with their breath coming out of their masks, like some steam powered robots.” Remus chuckled softly at the memory, again able to see the humour post-action. “I was almost certain that Lucius Malfoy was going to explode when he saw Draco standing with our ranks.

“And there he was, Tom Riddle, the infamous Lord Voldemort, standing in front of them, looking all cocky and sniggering, sure it was to be our downfall. We stood there in front of each other, the Order of the Phoenix versus the forces of darkness, it was all very epic… 

“You stood there, in the front line, looking so strong and beautiful, your hair was wild and the air around you crackled with power. You looked older somehow, more confident. And damn but you look good in black.” Harry buried his face deeper into Remus’ chest, feeling his face flushing with the compliments. 

“Where were you?” He whispered, 

“I was there too,” Remus said in a casual voice, after all, _he_ wasn’t exactly the poster boy for Voldemort’s war. “Standing right by your side, scared shitless that something would happen to you and filled with rage at seeing the monsters who took away the most important people in my life.” Remus’ voice turned somewhat grave after the lightness he tried to keep up for the majority of his story. Even now, eight weeks later he could remember so clearly the hatred, the wrath, and the overwhelming desire to hurt that was gushing in his veins that night. 

“I know how you feel.” Harry stated simply. Remus nodded and took a deep breath, giving himself a moment to recompose himself,

“We stood there, knowing there wasn’t going to be a way back, I was so damn proud of you and your friends for standing there together.” 

“Was… was Ron there?” Harry asked tentatively, not sure what he wanted the answer to be, 

“Yes, and so were Hermione, Draco, Neville, Ginny and even Seamus and Dean. In fact, there were quite a lot of Hogwarts students there.” Remus sounded almost wondering and Harry smiled, 

“Let me guess, most were Hufflepuff and Gryffindors some Ravenclaws but no Slytherins, all of them just graduated or in their last year?” Remus nodded, frowning, “It was the DA.” 

“Oh, your little duelling club.” Remus waved his hand in recognition, “Or as Draco put it ‘Harry’s little brown-nosed fan club’.” Harry rolled his eyes, 

“Draco’s just jealous because he was never invited.” He said haughtily, before his face broke in a huge grin, “So they all came… That’s so nice…”

“Did you ever doubt for a second that they would?” 

“No… But it’s still nice to know they did. So, what happened? Was it an epic fight? Hexes flying all over and lots of blood spilled, torn limbs flying through the air, and screams of pain?” Remus’ expression turned disgusted, 

“Where on earth do you get your ideas from?” He cried, and Harry shrugged, 

“’Saving Private Ryan’.” 

“Well, not much to save is there?” Harry chuckled at his lover’s ignorance. It was quite amazing how Remus knew who David Bowie was but not a damn clue about Steven Spielberg. But he supposed that Remus didn’t have much time to go and watch films since he came back to the Wizarding World, when Harry was thirteen.

“It’s a muggle film.” 

“Yes, well, muggles…” Remus said dismissively, “No, there were no torn limbs flying about and very little blood, and most of it came from Nagini. The rest came from Tonks who managed to stumble over a root and cracked her lip.” 

“So what happened to Voldemort?” Harry cried out, the cold clutches of fear suddenly gripping his innards, “He isn’t dead?” 

“Oh, he’s dead alright,” Remus reassured his lover, “You blew him up to dust.” 

“I did?” Harry said weakly, 

“Yes. He started his talking again, going on and on about how he killed you parents and all that but apparently you’ve lost all your patience for old annoying people lately and, well, you did it.” 

“Did what?” Despite himself Harry couldn’t help but being captured by the story, 

“I would like to say you yelled at him and he exploded but you actually sent a ‘stupefy’ which blew him up.” 

“What? How is that possible? ‘Stupefy’ isn’t strong enough to do that!”

“You’re forgetting you were wearing the amplifying amulet, and you were angry, very angry at the bastard.” Remus said in a soft voice, and rubbed Harry’s back as the latter almost started to hyperventilate at the enormity of the news, 

“He’s gone?” Harry whispered, his mind refusing to wrap around the fact that he was free at last, 

“He is.” Harry lifted his green shimmering eyes at Remus, looking like he was about to explode with joy, and tears, and just yell himself hoarse to give his feelings an outlet. 

“It’s over, _really_ over?” 

“Yes, my beautiful Cailean, it is.” 

“It’s just… I’m… I just… I’ve wanted things to be over for so long… I…” Harry looked a tad lost, and Remus knew what he was feeling, this loss of purpose to life after he’d been so driven to accomplish something specific. But Remus wasn’t too worried, Harry was young, and passionate and he was sure the young man would find more… productive ways to channel his energy from now on,

“I know,” He said quietly, “I know.” A sudden thought struck Harry and he sat up in bed, looking quite alarmed, 

“Wait! But what about Nagini? She was Horcrux, if she’s still alive…” 

“She isn’t.” 

“Really?” Harry’s voice carried a tiny ray of hope, 

“Really. After Voldemort fell there was complete chaos, you collapsed, the whole Death Eater body panicked and tried to flee but the Aurors had them rounded up and shipped to Azkaban. Nagini tried to slither away but the DA stopped her. Only… they were a little too enthusiastic, and ended up blowing her to smithereens. _Then_ it started to look like your muggle film…” Remus said in a slightly disgusted tone, that none the less didn’t hide his joy, “It rained bits of snake all over the place, quite gory really.” 

“What about you? Were you hurt?” Harry asked exasperatedly, without an ounce of concern to his own safe-sake, 

“Not unless you count pulling bits of snake out of my hair.” Harry breathed a sigh of relief, 

“That’s good. So, what happened then? What did you do?” Suddenly Remus’ face turned blank, all trace of humour gone from his features and Harry grasped his hand, dreading what Remus was to say next, 

“I did what I should have done years ago,” He said in a heavy tone, refusing to meet Harry’s eye, “I went after Wormtail.” Harry gulped and tightened his grip on Remus’ hand, 

“I should have killed that low-life rodent myself that night in the Shrieking Shack…” He hissed, the mere mention of Peter Pettigrew Making his skin crawl and his teeth to be bared, Remus shook his head sadly, 

“No, Harry, you were right that night. James would never have wanted his two best friends to turn into murderers, not to mention Lily would probably haunt me for the rest of my life if I let you become one. But standing there, on that final battle, I had much more to hate him for,” Harry clenched his jaw and watched silently as the darkness took over the beautiful and joyful features of the man he loved the most, 

“I hated him for betraying Lily and James in the first place, leaving you all alone and condemned you to a life of misery at the Dursleys. I hated him for causing Sirius’ incarceration, I hated him for trying to beg his way out of what he did, throwing himself at your mercy when you stopped us from killing him, and then running back to his master, I hated him for the part he played in Voldemort’s return, and I hated him for threatening me with his silver hand.” 

“What did you do?” Harry whispered, using the pain in his hand, where Remus squeezed the feeling out of it to mask the pain he was feeling inside, 

“I killed him,” Remus said quietly, almost without feeling, “That was the only time I ever used the killing curse. And it scared me. It scared me how good it felt to do it, to see his beady little eyes go blank and knowing that this rat would never harm another soul again, knowing that James, Lily and Sirius could rest in peace.” Remus swallowed painfully, his chest constricting with the burden he was feeling, “I was sick afterwards, puking my guts out in the corner, know that I did the worst thing imaginable.” 

“No! You mustn’t think that!” Harry cried, and Remus turned his face to look into those amazing whirlpools of jade, 

“I took a man’s life, Harry.” 

“So did I!” Remus leaned over and pressed a small, loving kiss to Harry’s lips, trying to reassure his lover, 

“That’s hardly the same. You killed Voldemort in self-defence. And besides, he wasn’t even human to begin with.” 

“From what you told me he was just standing there insulting my parents.” He tried to argue but Remus shook his head, 

“I chose to end Peter’s life for the crimes he committed. That was not my decision to make, and for that I’m sorry, not for the fact that he’s dead.” 

“I love you so much,” Harry whispered, “You’re so…” 

“Complex? Deep? A man with a strong moral fibre?” Harry shook his head, this mercurial ability of Remus to change moods was making him dizzy, 

“I was going to say ‘mature’ but now I’m thinking… vain?” Remus chuckled, glad to be rid of some of the guilt. He had spent long hours talking to Snape about what happened, drawing strength and comfort from the caustic comments, and the ability of the dark man to reduce every problem to a chewable size. “So, everyone lived.” Harry summed up the story with satisfaction, and Remus took a deep breath, well, here comes the _really_ hard part, 

“Almost everyone.” 

“Oh, no, who died?” Harry tried not to panic, a part of him didn’t want to know which friend he had lost but another part of him had to find out so that he could grieve properly, 

“Dumbledore.” Harry looked at Remus in complete shock, sure that he wasn’t hearing right, 

“What? How?” He mumbled, the empty feeling from before returning. Sure Dumbledore had his faults, even Harry could see that, but he was still the greatest wizard of the 20th century and that was saying something and now he was… 

“Five days after the final battle they found him lying in his bed, dead.” 

“Was he injured? Was he hit by some unknown curse that took five days to work and nobody knew of?” Harry was rubbing his face frantically, refusing to believe this could really be true, “He was Dumbledore for fucks sake! He was invincible!” 

“He was also a very old man who saw to the end of a dark lord.” Remus said quietly, trying to offer as much solace to his lover. “He left you a letter and Fawkes.”

“He what? Fawkes? His bird? His phoenix?” 

“Yes, I think that some of the letter are instructions on how to take care of a phoenix, at least I hope so, Hagrid has been far to upset to be useful lately.” Remus prattled on but Harry wasn’t really listening still absorbing the shock, 

“Dumbledore is gone… I can’t believe this, it’s like… That’s like the end of an era.” 

“It most certainly is.” 

“So what now? Were there any big celebrations for the end of the war or tears for Dumbledore’s death? I can’t believe I missed all that!” Remus ran his hand over Harry’s arm, trying to calm him down, 

“I know. Actually it was both. First there were five days of celebrations and then about a week of shock and sadness for Dumbledore’s loss, in which time he was buried here on the Hogwarts grounds.” 

“Gods, I wish I was there.” 

“I know.”

“Ah, I see young Miss Weasley was correct and you are indeed awake.” Both Harry and Remus turned their heads to see Severus Snape walking into the room. He was leaning heavily on a cane and had a pinched expression of pain on his face. As soon as Remus saw him he averted his eyes and bit his lip, trying to hide his smile, 

“Hello Professor Snape.” Harry greeted him pleasantly, somehow knowing by instinct they were no longer enemies, 

“No need for that young man,” Snape chided him, “I’m no longer your teacher, you may call me ‘sir’.” He offered generously and now Harry was fighting off a laugh as well, 

“Hmm, ok, _sir_.” Harry said and Snape took another pained step into the room, causing Harry to notice his injury for the first time, “Are you alright sir? What happened to your leg?” He then turned to Remus who was nearly bursting with suppressed giggles and slapped his arm, “You said no one got hurt!” Remus let out a bark of laughter that caused Snape to narrow his eyes at the wolf, 

“Oh, Sev isn’t a war casualty.” 

“Then what happened?” 

“This is of no importance, Mr. Potter.” Snape snarled, but Remus was enjoying himself too much to let go as of yet, 

“But it was so funny! That’ll teach you to dance with Tonks where a drunken Hagrid is.” Snape huffed in annoyance, 

“I wasn’t _dancing_ with her, I was trying to get away from her. The woman is a menace!” 

“Why would you dance with Tonks in the first place?” Harry wondered aloud, 

“Because, Mr. Potter, it is customary for the bride and groom to dance at their own wedding.” Harry’s jaw dropped, much the amusement of both his ex-professors, 

“Wed… Why… W… How…” 

“I think he means when.” Remus supplied helpfully, coming to the aid of his stammering lover, and Snape smirked, 

“Two days ago. Tonks wanted to wait until you were up and about but Madame Pomfrey said it would most likely take at least a month for your full recovery.” 

“You… and Tonks… Wow… Well, I guess it worked,” He nudged Remus, reminding him of their little ‘match-up’ game. Remus wriggled his eyebrows and smiled back at him, while Snape rolled his eyes pretending to be annoyed, 

“If you two imbeciles think for one second that I’m going to gush out in thanks for your foolish meddling you’ve got another thing coming!” 

“You’re very welcome sir.” Harry said with a blinding smile that was matched by Remus and caused Snape to snarl at them and hobble out of the room, muttering obscenities under his breath. Once the door closed behind Snape’s back Harry settled back into Remus’ arms, feeling content at the aftermath of the war mixed with tendrils of sadness at the loss of Dumbledore but mostly he was just grateful that both he and Remus were alive and well. 

“So, now that you’re up, and you missed all the fun, what do you want to do next?” Harry pretended to think about it for a few seconds, 

“Right now I just want you to hold me. As soon as I’m given a clearance to get the hell out of here I want you to take me home and shag me for three days straight. Then I want to go visit my parents, and Sirius, and Dumbledore too.” Remus nodded, 

“Sounds like a plan to me. Now, if you don’t mind I think I’ll kip for a bit. That three days sex marathon sounds awfully energy consuming and so I better get ready.” He finished with a small wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m pretty sure Harry’s memory will come back to him at some point; I just needed a nice way to tell the war story. 
> 
> As for Harry dancing in a club, please remember that Remus never actually saw Harry dancing before (lucky him) and besides, who know, Harry might be a smashing dancer when not forced to do the waltz. Yeah, right…
> 
> The way Harry is described during the final battle is actually taken from the image of Yuuri in “Kyou Kara Maou” when he changes into his ‘Maou form’. Here’s a picture, in case you haven’t seen the anime.   
> http://kyoukaramaou.com/images/Yuri071.JPG


	39. 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is actually dedicated to Neb92, who has a brilliant theory of why Harry went into coma- see when Harry took off the amplifying amulet after Voldemort’s death he received quite a shock due to reversing back from so much power to his own and that caused a mighty shock to his magical core which it couldn’t handle and thus sending Harry to shutting down for repairs (i.e. coma). 
> 
> Hope you didn’t get too confused with the timeline of the war- Harry spent August, September and October training, the final battle took place in Halloween and Harry spent November and part of December in a coma. His memory gap covers the entire time.

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Thirty-nine: If you need a friend, I’m sailing right behind  
(Title from ‘Bridge over troubled water’ by ‘Simon and Garfunkel’) **

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

“Hey Harry, how are you feeling?” Harry heaved a great theatrical sigh, returning his gaze slowly from the window, doing his best to look as miserable as possible,

“Bored.” Hermione did her best to avoid rolling her eyes as she sat down next to his bed. Poor Harry stuck in the infirmary like that. Well, it was ‘poor Harry’ a couple of days ago, now Harry’s fishing for sympathy was getting a little old, but still Hermione couldn’t blame him, after all he was still stuck in the infirmary, 

“Good, then that means you’re on the road to recovery.” She said briskly, refusing to be dragged into Harry’s game. 

“I’m already recovered!” Harry crossed his arms over his chest petulantly, “But Madame Pomfrey insists on keeping me here!”

“Maybe she likes you.” Harry snorted dismissively,

“Maybe she heard what Remus and I had planed and is doing her best to sabotage it.” 

“And those plans… do they involve a large bed and lots of lubrication material?” Hermione asked shrewdly and Harry gave her a brilliant smile. “Harry, you are practicing safe sex, are you not?” There was nothing like a good Hermione to ruin the mood completely, stomp on it and bury it. 

“Hermione Jane Granger, I did not allow my own mother to give me the ‘safe sex’ talk and I most certainly am not going to let you.” He said in a firm voice, which had absolutely no effect on the girl beside him, 

“You don’t have to talk to me about it, but it is really important that you…” 

“Do what? This is none of your bloody business and I cannot believe you’re questioning my faithfulness to Remus or his to me! We’re not a couple of slags that go and shag whatever moves!” Harry roared, going red in the face, how dare she? How dare she sit here in front of him, acting like she was a supporting friend and ask him something like that! And _after_ she knew about the hand-fastening! Hermione lowered her head, for once accepting the chiding, she hadn’t meant to question Harry’s loyalty, or Remus’ but her ‘mother hen’ nature was something that even Molly would be jealous of and she simply couldn’t help herself most of the times. 

“I’m sorry Harry,” She said in a small voice, “I wasn’t really thinking, I was only trying to help.” 

“Then tell Madame Pomfrey to let me the fuck out of here!” Harry said in a tight voice, no longer mad at Hermione for her words but still agitated from being cooped up in the bloody hospital wing for so long. It seemed that ever since this summer started he was constantly kept under lock and key. First it was in Grimmauld Place and now here, and frankly, Harry feared he was losing his mind. 

In the past week, he had plenty of time to think, being able to do nothing but, and that didn’t fare out too well. He was free, yes, for the first time in his life he was free, free of school, free of the Dursleys and most of all free of the Dark Lord. But this new found freedom was scaring him most of all, it was like being starved and then offered a feast beyond your wildest dreams, and you just sit there at the table, looking at all the bounty you’re offered after so long and having no clue what you wanted to eat first. It felt so overwhelming to him, having all these possibilities that sometimes it literally left him short of breath. 

The influx of visitors that were showing up by his bed only made things worse, if possible, because it seemed that everyone’s sole interest these days was what Harry was going to do with his life. The only person so far who hadn’t asked him, nor offered any suggestion was Remus, who could feel the tension and the hurt those questions, caused Harry. 

Harry turned his face back to the window, trying to pull himself back from the dangerous thoughts and bit his lip. There was one thing he wanted to know, one thing he really wanted to ask Hermione, 

“Hmm, has… Has Ron been ill, or something?” Hermione closed her eyes briefly, cursing Ron under her breath for doing this to them, for forcing her to tell Harry what happened and pick up after the red-head, it wasn’t fair really. 

“No, he’s as healthy as an ox, last I heard.” She said in a somewhat strained voice, “Why do you ask?” 

“Because I’ve been awake for over a week and he still hasn’t been to see me. Even Molly came.” If Harry didn’t know any better he’d say that the woman was under the ‘Imperious’ curse for the better part of summer, but Remus told him that she turned around, 180 degrees after Harry’s ‘bonding speech’ when she finally realized it was more than just teenage fantasies on Harry’s part and a way to relive lost youth on Remus’ part. Harry was so happy that she’d come back to her senses he was even willing to forgive all her meddling in his love life. Too bad Ron didn’t seem to be caught in all the reconciliation atmosphere that was going around, “Is he mad at me?” He asked sheepishly and Hermione swore that if Ron Weasley ever showed his freckly face in her presence again, she’d hex him so that even his own mother wouldn’t recognize him anymore, 

“Oh, Merlin, you really don’t remember anything…” She sighed, and Harry let out a frustrated grunt, no he still could remember anything from the time Dumbledore declared war to the time he woke up in the hospital wing and he really hated that everyone kept reminding him of the fact, 

“What? I know he was upset about the whole ‘Weasley way of thinking’ but…” 

“You punched him.” Hermione declared and Harry’s jaw dropped, 

“I what?” Hermione sighed, well, here goes nothing. 

“You two were having another row right before the final battle and you punched him, broke his nose too.” Harry stared at her gaping, he had punched Ron? Ron who was three inches taller than him and at least a stone heavier? 

“But… Remus said that Ron was there, at the final battle.” 

“He was. He just stood as far as possible from you and left as soon as it was over. He’s gone to America to live with some distant relatives of Molly’s.” Hermione explained, and Harry sagged, looking perplexed, 

“Damn, and all this over a measly punch… What did he say anyway?” Hermione closed her eyes briefly, trying to work up the guts to tell Harry, because she knew it would send him over the edge all over again,

“He called Remus a ‘Paedophile cradle robber’ and you his ‘Sex toy’.” She said flatly, and Harry’s eyes bulged, his face turning red, 

“WHAT? How the fuck does he even dare… Oh, he’s so bloody lucky he’d not here or I’d punch that ugly face of his again! The bleeding twat, what a nerve!” Hermione sighed and rolled her eyes, it was actually funny, that Harry was spewing the exact same lines as he did at the time of the actual action. Deja-vu had nothing on this! 

“It’s a real shame that seven years of friendship ended this way.” Hermione mused, and Harry bristled again, 

“If Ron can’t accept who I am and who I chose to be with, than I can’t be friends with him!” 

“I know Harry.” Still it was a little sad, but Hermione was fully standing behind Harry on this one, Ron needed to grow up, because no matter what Ron thought Harry should do with his life Harry had every right to be happy, and if what made him happy was an older werewolf and an ex-teacher then Hermione was going to do her damn best to accept it and support her friend. It was really a shame not everyone could do the same really. 

“At least he’s still got you as a best friend.” Harry said somewhat bitterly, a part of him was feeling a little miffed that Hermione would chose to stay friends with them both rather than choose sides, 

“Well… Not exactly…” Harry watched his best female friend squirming a little in her seat, wondering what sort of stupidity Ron had in store for Hermione, 

“Oh, no, did you punch him as well?” He asked with a smirk, and Hermione pulled herself up, 

“No! I’m above that sort of thing.” She said with as much dignity she could muster at the face of Harry’s laughter, 

“Oh, yeah, I bet Draco thinks so too…” 

“If he doesn’t stop annoying me, he might just find himself on the wrong side of my fist again!” Harry was holding his side now, howling with laughter and even Hermione cracked a smile, 

“So, why is Ron mad at you for then?” Harry asked again, once he calmed down a bit, 

“Because I’m friends with Draco.” Hermione stated matter-of-factly, and Harry frowned at her, 

“But you just said you hated Draco.” 

“No, I said he annoys me.” Hermione corrected in her condescending tone, the one that both Harry and Ron learned to tune out somewhere during their first year, 

“Are you two romantically involved or something?” He asked, somehow getting the feeling this was just another one of those things he couldn’t remember, but Hermione’s reaction was swift and total, 

“What? NO!” She cried, and that caused Harry to lift his eyebrow suspiciously, “What ever gave you that idea?” 

“Well, you spend most of your time together, you’re constantly at each other’s throats and you don’t shag… Wait, I take it back, you’re not dating, you’re married!” He snorted with laughter at his own joke, causing Hermione to roll her eyes again and look away, doing her best to hide her own smile, 

“Oh, ha ha, Mister Potter, very funny.” She snarled at him, as soon as she got herself under check, “Besides, you’re the one to talk.” That halted Harry’s laughter at once, and he turned to his friend, looking quite mad once again, 

“Hey, the only reason I’m not having sex is because Madame Pomfrey refuses to discharge me!” 

“But will you?” Harry looked at his friend perplexed, was she really asking what he thought she was asking?

“What? Have sex? I should very much hope so.” 

“Get married!” Hermione stated firmly and Harry turned his head, suddenly not in the mood for jokes. He took a deep breath and let it out softly 

“I don’t know,” He said without looking at her, “It would depend,” 

“On what?” Now it was Hermione’s turn to look confused, wasn’t the whole hand-fastening thing just a prequel to him and Remus getting married? Harry shrugged, picking at his blanket absently,

“Remus mostly. I mean, the whole hand-fastening idea was nice and it certainly helped during the war but… I don’t know if…” 

“He really wants to marry you.” Harry nodded mutely, his eyes still fixed on the window, even though all he could see was blue sky and the very tops of faraway trees. “He’ll be daft not to.” Harry smiled sadly, 

“It’s not that simple, Mione…” He said and returned sad eyes to his friend, “I mean… Yeah we had really great times together, but… We were either both teens or under siege and war, and now…” He sighed, having verbalized the feelings and thoughts that were plaguing him for the last week didn’t help to make them any less intimidating and foreboding than in his head, “Everything has changed. What if we can’t make it under ‘normal circumstances’? What if he decides I was just a nice fuck and now he’ll move on?” 

“And what if he decides you’re a keeper?” Harry’s head snapped at the voice of his lover and his cheeks blushed crimson, not realizing that Remus had just walked into the room. As the two stared at each other Hermione got up from her chair and looked at her bare wrist before clasping it with her other hand, 

“Blimey, look at the time…” She chirped, feeling so out of place that every atom in her body was screaming for her to leave, “Erm, I’ll, hum, just be on my way then.” She said tightly and practically fled the room, though neither Harry nor Remus paid her any mind. As soon as the door closed behind Hermione’s back, Remus walked over to the place she vacated but instead of taking her chair he opted to sit on the bed next to Harry, 

“What’s with the insecurity bout all of a sudden?” He asked in a soft voice, brushing his fingers over Harry’s cheek and neck and smiling a little when his bonded leaned into the touch. Harry gulped, feeling like a complete idiot, in the past week Remus had been nothing but the perfect boyfriend to him, cheering him up when he was down, answering all of his questions, engaging him in heated snogging sessions when Harry got frustrated with boredom, and never pressured Harry with decision making and talk of the future. Which could have been part of the reason Harry was feeling the way he was right now, 

“It’s just… I keep thinking, I mean…” The words seem to have escaped him, leaving him vulnerable and exposed and his cheeks blushed again, “We’re great and all, but… I just…” Digging up for all the Gryffindor courage he could muster Harry blurted out, “What if there’s someone out there more suitable for you and you decide to leave me?” The last few words were barely above a whisper because the thought of Remus leaving him was making his body shake and his stomach turn. Remus looked at him thoughtfully, he could see that this was serious and Harry had meant every word of it but it still hurt that Harry had so little trust in him that he would think that Remus would up and leave as soon as the last specs of dust and debris from the war settled, 

“Someone more suitable for me? You mean someone who would love me and want to be with me despite the fact that they know what I am? Someone who would go on a limb and turn into an animagus just to keep me company during the full moon? Someone who was willing to wait for me when I asked them to, someone whose bloody animagus is a wolf? You know, I’m sure you’re right, where do you think I should start looking?” He couldn’t really keep the sarcasm out of his voice, the hurt was dictating that scalding tone, 

“You’re really happy being with me?” Remus took a deep breath, trying to pull the reins on his feelings, 

“I think those eight weeks of coma must have meddled with your brain.” He said airily, but Harry was having none of it, 

“Don’t make fun of me! I’m serious!” He cried, “I want to know that you’re not staying with me out of some sort of duty…” Remus looked at his lover, yup definitely bonkers; maybe he should call in Madame Pomfrey and ask her to scan Harry’s brain again, 

“Duty?” He said in a pondering voice, wondering how he should breach the subject in a way that would penetrate Harry’s thick skull, “ _I’m_ staying with _you_ out of duty? Harry, have you gone completely mental?” Remus was shaking his head, hardly able to wrap his mind around this reversal of roles, “You’re eighteen years old, you’re fucking gorgeous and you’re a hero! People are practically lining up as we speak hoping to score a date with you and you ask me if I’m here because I feel like I owe you something? For the love of Merlin, I should be the one to go down on my knees and thank every known deity that you actually gave me a second glance let alone feel insecure about me being with you… And I _would_ , go down on my knees if I wasn’t scared I won’t be able to get back up again.” He finished with a little wink, breaking the tension. Harry let out a relieved chuckle, feeling all the more silly for ever doubting his wolf, 

“Alright, alright, you made your point clear. I’m sorry, I just don’t know what came over me…” Remus leaned in and kissed him softly, letting his lover know there were no hard feelings or anything, 

“That’s quite alright, my most beautiful lover, this place can send anyone around the bend, which is why I’ve come to take you home.” Harry’s eyes grew wide with eagerness, 

“Really? I’m finally getting out of here?” Remus nodded and Harry practically jumped into his arms, raining kisses all over Remus’ face, as if he was the one who actually made the decision. Remus smiled as Harry pulled back and helped his mated to get off the bed and into some more decent clothes. After that the two made their way out of the infirmary and down the corridor towards Remus’ office, from which they’d be flooing home to Grimmauld Place. Harry was practically skipping beside Remus, thoroughly excited by the prospect of going home and being with Remus once again. 

Remus took the floo first, knowing all too well of Harry’s tendency to be a clumsy oaf when it came to travelling by floo, and indeed the boy stumbled into his arms shortly afterwards, looking like he just tipped the floo pot over himself. Remus smiled and dusted him off, while Harry was enjoying the attention. Once Harry was clean enough Remus pulled him through the empty house, that was no longer Headquarters but still retained its fidelius charm (in his final letter Dumbledore explained that he was passing the secret keeper duty to Harry so that the young man could decide whether he wished to keep the place hidden or not. Which Harry did, especially when Remus told him about the bags full of fan-mail that were gathering in a deserted classroom in Hogwarts. The last thing Harry needed was for all these people to actually show up at his doorstep). 

After the war was over and the Order of the Phoenix once more disbanded, Molly and her brood left to return to the Burrow, Draco returned to Malfoy manor, having inheriting the place after his father was sent to Azkaban and given the dementor’s kiss. Narcissa was still living in the house, having renounced her husband and claiming to have been following Voldemort out of sheer fear. Remus wasn’t in the least bit surprised to see the lady of Malfoy manor coming out of the whole mess unscathed. More than before Lily’s old nickname for the girl ‘Teflon’ seemed appropriate. Draco also took Neville and Hermione with him to ‘help him sort things out’ but Harry knew it was so that he and Remus would finally have some alone time to cement their relationship and for that he would forever be grateful to Draco. 

The house still looked the same as Harry remembered, still dark and foreboding, but this time he smiled slightly as they passed the basement stone kitchen and walked up the narrow and dark panelled staircases, this time he wasn’t coming there as a scared little kid seeking shelter and a safe place in the Order’s HQ, this time he was returning as the rightful owner of the property, to start and build his life from there. No matter how much work would be done in the place Harry knew he didn’t want to live his life in Grimmauld Place, the house just hosted too many unpleasant memories that no number of paint coats could cover. When given into his deepest wishes Harry always envisioned himself and Remus living in a small country cottage, surrounded by fields and greenery, just the two of them in their own small corner of the world. The idea was bringing a smile to his face even now. But for the moment they’d have to settle for Grimmauld Place, at least until they were ready to pick up the pieces and move on with their lives. 

Only when the bedroom door closed behind him, did Harry lift his head to look at his man. Remus was peering at him, trying to sense Harry's feelings and level of stress, to come and help as soon as the other man showed signs of breaking down. Harry lowered his head a little, watching Remus from under his fringe, 

“Harry, what’s wrong?” Harry started a little, averting his eyes from Remus’. He wasn’t at all sure he liked the way his wolf could read him like an open book, he would have loved to place the blame for that on the bonding charms but he knew all too well by now that he was easy enough to read for anyone who actually bothered to care enough. 

“Nothing,” He said briskly, leading the way to the bed and sliding just out of Remus’ reach, “I’m fine. So, about this little shag-marathon we had planned…” He tried his best to purr seductively but even to him it sounded a little weak, 

“Harry, talk to me…” Remus was almost pleading, because this evasiveness was scaring him. He knew that Harry was feeling insecure, he knew that Harry was having post-traumatic guilt that was reaching to high heaven but he really didn’t want his mated to turn away from him right now. 

“Come on, Remus,” Harry said as he sat heavily on the bed, bringing one foot to cross over the other knee as if he was about to unlace his shoes. “I’ve spent five weeks in a coma, plus one more week recovering from said coma and all I want right now if for you to shag me so hard I won’t even be able to remember my own name.” Remus sighed and carefully sat next to the young man, 

“And I promise you that I will, just as soon as you tell me what’s wrong.” Harry blinked several times, and averted his eyes again, biting his pouting lip. Suddenly he didn’t care anymore, he felt so drained of energy, and all he wanted all of a sudden was to tell Remus everything, lean against his love and draw strength from him, 

“I’m just… I feel so… empty,” He whispered, his eyes coming to rest on his clasped hands, resting in his lap, “Up here.” He pointed vaguely at his head, knowing that Remus would understand. Remus took a deep breath, relived that Harry was finally broaching the subject that was really bothering him. He laid a soft hand on Harry’s knee, silently encouraging him to keep talking, keep unburdening. “I hated it, the nightmares, the visions, knowing that he could get inside my head whenever he bloody felt like and mess about with me… And I fucking fell for it every single time,“ Harry let out a bitter chuckle, “And now he’s gone, and I’m free, and I can’t feel him there anymore and what had been a constant fixture in my life for four years is gone and… Everything is changing, so fast and I just can’t keep track of it all and I’m scared because I don’t know what to do and everyone expects so much of me and I know I’m bound to disappoint them all and I hate myself for feeling like that and…” Harry closed his eyes and took a deep breath, this was stupid, and he knew it, and any second now Remus would start laughing and saying Harry was being silly. And in a way that would have made him feel better, because then he’d know that all his fears were un-based. 

“I know how you feel,” Remus sighed and Harry looked at him for the first time in what felt like ages. His lover’s profile was sad, drawn and not in the least bit amused. “Well, to a certain degree anyway, I was feeling the same way when I finished Hogwarts, all those wonderful opportunities open to me, all the world at my grasp and all I wanted to do was go back and pound the gates until McGonagall would let me back into the tower. But then the full moon came and reminded me of what I am, and in a way that was comforting because I didn’t have to make any more decisions.” He lifted his eyes and gave Harry a lopsided smile, which made Harry pull him into his arms, 

“It just feels strange, being here. Not in the bedroom, just here in general… I’m not even sure how to explain myself.” 

“It’s perfectly understandable,” Remus concluded and Harry looked at him with avid eyes, eager for another explanation other than he was losing his mind, “You’re suffering from a major tension drop.” 

“Is that the medical term?” Harry couldn’t resist asking, because that didn’t sound at all like something his Remus would say. Perhaps living in a house full of teenagers for so long has addled _his_ brain as well… 

“Ever since you’ve been eleven years old the driving force in your life was that prophecy, made by a complete quack.” Remus explained patiently, refusing to budge from his point until Harry got it fully, “Or whatever rot Dumbledore shoved your way all these years, whether you knew about it or not. I bet you didn’t expect to be sitting here at all.” Harry shook his head, 

“No, not really… I mean… it’s… I never actually thought I’d win in the first place.” 

“I know. And you’ve been taking onto yourself all the guilt and responsibility for Voldemort’s actions without anyone there to help you.” Remus sighed and massaged Harry’s knee gently, “I admit I haven’t been completely helpful in that aspect either and I’m sorry.” 

“What do you mean?” Harry asked with a frown, because thinking back from his third year, Remus had been the only one who actually did help him. 

“When I came back to teach when you were thirteen I did it for Sirius. I needed to know the whole truth, and since he was supposedly coming to hunt you in Hogwarts I figured I should as well. I never, not for one second believed he was guilty. Sirius was a hot-headed and brash man, yes, but he wasn’t reckless. He would never have put his personal vendetta over your welfare, and had he managed to capture Wormtail that day he would have brought him in front of the Aurors but never kill him. Unfortunately, Wormtail knew us better than any of us gave him credit for, which is how he managed to get to Lily and James in the first place. 

“After Sirius fell through the veil I was lost again, but this time it was worst, this time I had no one left. At least when Sirius was in Azkaban I knew he was alive and I could take comfort from that even if I couldn’t help him prove his innocence. I came back here to teach, returning to the place that held most of my best memories, together with some of the worst. In a way it was like a self-punishment.” Harry felt his heart squeezing painfully, part of him wanted Remus to say that he came back for him, Harry, 

“You didn’t want to come back?” He asked quietly, 

“Of course not. I hated being under Dumbledore’s thumb without being able to do a damn thing about it. At some point I was sure he called me back in as some sort of suicide watch. Which was completely futile, since the wolf would never let me take my own life, it’s just another little detail that makes the lycanthropy such a curse.” Harry caressed Remus’ hand, over his knee, offering silent support. Remus caught his hand and entwined their fingers together, squeezing it hard, “But despite myself I started to enjoy being here. All this youthful energy was working wonders for me, but you, my sweet Harry… You just took it all on yourself, took it all in- all the pain, the hate and you let it consume you,” Harry averted his eyes, he hated hearing this, people telling him that it wasn’t his fault, because he never believed any of them, but Remus was the only one he was willing to make an effort for, “And now you did what you were trained to do and still you don’t feel any less guilty.” Remus said wisely and Harry snatched his hand away, 

“That’s because it was my fault.” He said bitterly and Remus grasped his hand again, refusing to let Harry slip away from this, yet again. This time Remus would not be responsible for not doing enough for the boy. He grabbed Harry’s chin and forced his head towards himself, 

“No, it wasn’t! Everything that happened, from your parents to Sirius was Voldemort’s doing and Voldemort’s fault, not yours. You were just caught in the wrong end of the stupid prophecy.” 

“But the prophecy was true!” Harry insisted, his eyes shining with wetness, this was so unfair, the way Remus was shaking the foundations on which his guilt was built upon, 

“I don’t believe in prophecies.” Remus said shortly, “They just tell us what we want to hear. Divination is just a way for people to excuse their actions.” Harry was reminded of what Hermione said when Professor Trelawney deemed she saw a Grim in his tea cup. In a way Grims were just like prophecies, they scared you to death by the sight of a big black hound, regardless what the actual hound did. 

“That sound like something Hermione would say.” He chuckled softly, 

“Then she’d be right!” Remus insisted, “Dumbledore pushed that prophecy on you so that you would do what he wanted you to without the hassle of you questioning his motives!” Harry clenched his jaw, 

“Are you saying that Dumbledore used me?” No matter how much he knew and felt like a puppet in Dumbledore’s hands, it felt wrong for Harry to speak ill of the dead. But Remus didn’t seem to be sharing that concern, 

“He used us all Harry,” He said gravely, “He just did it in such a way that left us all powerless to resist.” Gods, there was so many regrets in his life, so many of them related to what happened that night in Godric’s Hollow, and all of them linked to Dumbledore, 

“But… What about the servant joining his master?” Harry asked, mostly to deflect the conversation away from Dumbledore, because while Remus must have reconciled his issues with the old man, Harry was still having a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that he was no longer alive, no more trips up the spiral staircase to the headmaster’s office, no more lemon drops and offers of tea. No more twinkling, blue eyes and a kind smile that served to speak more loudly for Harry than a lot of other people’s gestures of kindness. “What about Trelawney’s other prophecy? That really happened!” Remus shrugged,

“Again, coincidence.” He sighed, “This one was actually my fault. I should never have gone after Peter on the night of a full moon. But I couldn’t resist the chance to finally learn what happened. I’m the one who made it possible for him to escape.” Remus looked away, tightening his jaw, part of it was Sirius’ fault as well, because he damn well could have waited a couple of days until Remus was no longer under the influence of the full moon, or better yet, he could have contacted Remus and talk to him before hand so that they could devise a plan together. 

“Guess we’re both packing a lot of guilt.” Harry’s soft voice was permitting through his thoughts and Remus turned to look at him again. 

“Yes, and it’s time we got rid of it,” He said briskly, “Just like we got rid of Voldemort and Wormtail! What do you say we stock up on food and disconnect the floo and just have this time to ourselves. We can rejoin the world back in time for Christmas and hopefully those two weeks will give you ample time to figure out how you want to move on from here, so you won’t be so overwhelmed with the possibilities. What do you say?” Harry’s face broke into a hearty grin, 

“Hmm, spending two weeks just with you… How can I say no to that?” Remus rose to his feet and pulled his young lover with him, 

“Great, so let’s go to the market and get stocked!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **A/N:** I think that if you were stuck in the Hogwarts infirmary for a whole week, without any recollection of what had happened in the last eight, except for your boyfriend’s account on things you might go nuts as well. Not to mention, Harry isn’t the sanest person to begin with… Oh, Merlin! Did I say that out loud? Meep…. 
> 
> I don’t really have a lot to say about this chapter… I think I’ve explained most of what I wanted, a little Dumbledore bashing never goes amiss. And this is a good opportunity as ever to question some of what JKR wrote, because there were always certain things that bothered me and I never understood how she got away with, such as- why didn’t anyone come for Harry, even muggle social services, and why is it that no one ever questioned Dumbledore’s motives? Did he have them all under Imperious? There are so many more little things like that (practically at every turn) but that’s how she chose to write it and bloody hell but I can’t argue with the second most rich woman in the UK!


	40. 40

****

  
JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Forty: There are no victories, in all our histories, without love  
(Title from ‘Mad about you’ by Sting, album ‘The soul cages’)

..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..

Harry sat and gazed around him at the lavishly decorated table of the main dining hall of Malfoy Manor, where they were currently sitting to a fantastic Christmas dinner. It was the first Christmas he could remember ever being truly happy and grateful. Coming to Malfoy Manor was somewhat of a shock to him, growing up in a tiny cupboard hadn’t really prepared him for the sheer size of Draco’s home. Hell, the dining room alone could have housed the entire Dursley’s home and there would still be room for them to dine!

The decision to hold Christmas dinner at the manor came from the delicate truce between Harry and Molly which more than called for a neutral ground to celebrate on and Malfoy Manor was nothing if it couldn’t provide ‘space’. Plus, it gave Draco ample opportunity to boast in his ancestral home, which, Harry suspected, was the main reason Draco agreed to host them all in the first place. 

From across the table he caught Remus’ eye and smiled warmly. The reason Harry was feeling so content lately had to be credited to Remus. Even Molly commented on the fact that Harry looked so much happier and healthier than he had in a long time. She, of course, contributed it to the dark lord’s demise. Harry smiled benignly during her fussing and bit the inside of his cheek to keep calm. Even thought he had mostly forgiven Molly for her previous behaviour he knew their relationship would never go back to the way it was before the war. Simply because Harry no longer saw her as a mother. Too many bad words and too much anger had passed between them to revert back to the cosy foster family feeling of before, but Harry was pleased with just having her support again, yet those little ‘Remus barbs’ hurt. Molly hadn’t accepted them, she tolerated them, and had she been anyone else, Harry would never have put up with it. 

The past couple of weeks, ever since he left the Hospital Wing had been everything Harry could ever ask for and more. The perfect Honeymoon. True, he and Remus haven’t gone anywhere exotic, as a matter of fact, for the first three days they haven’t left the house, their bedroom to be precise. It was quite a revelation for Harry to know that he could feel that way. To wake up every morning in the arms of his lover and spend the rest of the day with his only concerns in the form of food and how many orgasms one could squeeze in 24 hours. 

But three days into things, Harry found himself trapped again. Not that he was complaining or by any means tired of Remus’ body but every time they left the room to get food (and that was all too often for Harry’s liking as he never imagined sex to be so energy consuming and hunger-inducing), the dark walls were closing on him again and made his breath catch in his chest and finally he cracked. 

Remus, on his part, was well aware of Harry’s growing anxiety, and knew he needn’t do anything more than just seat back and wait. When Harry came to him, practically demanding they go outside Remus was ready. Before Harry could even think of whining and ranting Remus sent him to get dressed and be ready to go out. Within ten minutes, they were both heading for the closest tube station. Remus’ first ‘order of the day’ turned out to be a trip to Brighton. Of course, Remus would have preferred it to be summer but even the cold and drizzling rain couldn’t dampen Harry’s spirit when his eyes first landed on the ocean. 

Remus had to physically stop himself from apparating down to Surrey and hexing the Dursley’s to death for not allowing Harry the simple pleasure of appreciating the sea. But the sight of Harry’s face kept him rooted to the spot, nearly bringing tears to his eyes seeing his young man so excited by something that most people found mundane and obvious. They ended up standing on the pier for hours, Harry’s eyes never leaving the path of the waves as they crashed the shore, and Remus didn’t have the heart to rush him, and so he turned and leaned against the railing, engaging himself in a little game he used to play whenever he had to travel long-distances the muggle way- watching people and trying to guess they’re sexual orientation. Once the sun had set and the cold was too much to bear Remus practically dragged Harry into a small café on the pier for a cup of hot cocoa with a promise they’d return to the seaside come summer. 

From then on, they spent every day in a similar fashion for the rest of the week. They’d head out to the nearest train station after a hearty breakfast and simply choose their course based on the town name that seemed most interesting that day. They would tour that town or nearby villages, mingle with the locals and always took lunch in the local pub. This had been by far Harry’s favourite part of their day. It was so refreshing being able to walk into a room without the entire place ogling and staring at his forehead. At those times he was not the Saviour, ‘The boy who lived’, here he was just Harry, a young man out on a trip with his lover. Nothing more, nothing less.

During that week Remus had discovered something rather curious about himself- jealousy. As one who always prided himself on not being affected by the green eyed monster it was quite disturbing to find himself actually growling at people who were looking too long, or just funny at his bonded. Harry, on the other hand, had a tremendous time over it, letting himself enjoy in full being on the other side of over-protectiveness. He wouldn’t go out right and flirt with people, after all, he did not fight the war and freed the Wizarding World from Voldemort only to have people ravaged by a jealous werewolf, but nevertheless, he didn’t stop any of them either. 

After a week of _that,_ Harry once more got bored. For the most part it was the weather, after all how much fun can one have travelling when all there is to see is snow and gales? So, once again locked in the house Harry decided on a new course of action- renovation. To Remus’ credit, it could be said that he went along with whatever his borderline ADHD lover wanted, and even managed to find some enjoyment in it. 

First off they had to get rid of all the ‘darkness’ as Harry put it, and for that task he recruited a very enthusiastic Tonks and a very reluctant Snape. Between the four of them, and with a combination of spells and potions (some bordering on dark) they managed to purge the house in three days. For Harry it was a massive relief, as he was now able to walk around the house and breath freely. The walls were no longer emitting hatred and loath and the whole house looked brighter. Not that it made Harry want to move out any less, but it made staying put for now more tolerable.

Once the house was purged and cleaned Harry could finally see the potential. Plans, patterns, colours, fabrics and wood found their way onto the kitchen table at an alarming rate. After being yelled at for the third time that he was picking the wrong colour Remus decided, that for the sake of his relationship, and more importantly his sanity he’d leave Harry (being aided by a team of Draco, Seamus, Hermione and Ginny with occasional helpful tips from Molly and very useless ones from Arthur, Fred and George) to his own. And so he retreated to the library, the only place in the house Harry consented not to touch (Mostly because he knew that dealing with the place would mean actually going over all the books…) and took Jonah with him. The poor Happy Lily was anything but happy at the renovations. Even Harry’s obvious enthusiasm seemed to cause the poor plant to wilt and so Remus took it upon himself to make sure Jonah (and himself) survived the mess intact. 

After Harry declared the house done, Remus and Jonah tentatively emerged from the library to ‘inspect the damage’. To Remus’ utter surprise the house looked fabulous. His surprise came from the fact that he remembered what Lily and James’ home looked like- a complete chaos. That was due to the fact that neither agreed to step down on his or her ‘artistic vision’ and since both tastes were pretty much opposite the result was so horrid, Remus was actually glad Harry didn’t have any memories of it. But, as it turned out, Harry did not inherit his mother’s pristine and almost Spartan personality nor his father’s tendency towards flamboyant. In an effort to step away from anything Dursley, Harry chose clean lines, and absolutely no floral patterns. 

Their bedroom, for example, was made in three different shades of blues, which blended and complimented each other perfectly, and still managed to create a relaxed atmosphere that made Remus want to never leave. The kitchen still retained it’s somewhat sombre atmosphere as Harry opted to leave the stone work untouched, but with the addition of several lamps and a couple of windows next to the ceiling that were level to the ground outside, the extra light was bouncing off the brass pots and made the place look much more lived in. 

Harry’s pride and joy, though, was the drawing room. The first thing he did was to get rid of the horribly unjust family tree tapestry, which he then replaced with a whole one, curtsy of Draco who found one lying in one of the Manor’s storage rooms. Now, once more, Sirius’ name, along with that of Tonks and her mother were proudly displayed at their rightful places- no more burnt holes of shame. The rest of the room was done in cheerful butter and canary yellow, balanced out with soft cream and polished chestnut wood panelling. The drawing room (which Harry doubted was ever used for that purpose) was now turned into a happy family room, where they could entertain guests or just spend time on their own. By the time Christmas rolled in, Harry could proudly say he was finally happy to live in Grimmauld Place.   
****

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Remus wandered around the huge mansion, in search of Harry. After dinner ended the young man somehow eluded him, drifting away to socialize with others. Not that Remus minded much, but right now he just wanted to go home with Harry, only apparently finding someone in a place like Malfoy Manor required its own version of the Marauders’ map. Remus closed his eyes and let his magic direct him to where its twin-signature shimmered. It was just one other benefit of the hand-bonding ritual- he could always find Harry, no matter what happened to the young man and regardless to where Remus’ wand was at the time. This little feature became very useful in the days when brides of rich families were kidnapped for ransom.

Remus followed his magic, until he walked through a door and found himself in a vast library. Harry was standing near the fireplace, a smile gracing his beautiful face and a cup of eggnog in his hand chatting to Headmistress McGonagall. Remus took a moment to study his counterpart with a soft smile before he walked into the library and cleared his throat. Minerva McGonagall was a woman who saw a lot in her time, but even she couldn’t help but smile as Harry’s face lit up at the sight of his lover. 

“Well, Mr. Potter, thank you for indulging an old woman on Christmas Eve.” She said briskly as she rose from her seat, not a trace of weariness or old age in sight, “I shall leave the two of you alone, please consider my offer.” Harry nodded and smiled, and Minerva swept past Remus both nodding respectfully at each other. Once they were left alone, Remus strode over to his young lover and took him in his arms. Harry snuggled closer, feeling warm and content, both by Remus’ presence and the amount of eggnog he’s been drinking. 

“Ready to go home?” Remus whispered into his hair and Harry hummed in agreement. 

“Yeah, I’ll just nip to find Draco and tell him we’re leaving.” The thought of having to trek down the mansion in search of its master made Remus want to throw his head back and scream. Luckily he’d come prepared, 

“No need.” He said happily, “I’ve already told him. He said he’ll see us on the Boxing Day brunch, oh, and he also said to tell you not to do anything he wouldn’t do.” Harry snorted at this, 

“Great, that leaves us with nothing to do but argue over House-Elves rights…” He said as he started pulling Remus to the nearest fireplace. Fighting over House-Elves rights had been the highlight of the evening’s entertainment as far as he was concerned. Hermione and Draco just went for it with much gusto and enthusiasm- much to the embarrassment of the resident house-elves who were just trying to do their jobs and found themselves in the middle of a heated dispute. The look on the poor creature’s face when Hermione tried to physically stop him from going back to the kitchen was something that Harry would treasure for a long time. 

Remus snickered and let Harry drag him towards the fireplace. Christmas dinner was nice enough, all their friends and pseudo-family there, but enough was enough and right now all Remus wanted was to have some alone time with Harry. 

As soon as they landed in the stone kitchen of Grimmauld Place, Harry pulled Remus into the drawing room, throwing himself gracelessly over the sofa. With a lazy flick of his wrist the hearth erupted with high flames, and Harry sighed blissfully as their heat sank in. 

“Shove over,” Remus growled lowly and Harry grinned at him, pulling his limbs up and clearing a space for his wolf to seat, snuggling into him as soon as he did. “So, what did Minerva want from you?” Remus asked, no longer able to stave his curiosity. Harry shrugged, 

“She offered me a job.” He said quietly and Remus deflated a little, 

“Oh, that, I was hoping it was something good…” Harry turned around in Remus’ arms, looking at his wolf in astonishment, 

“You knew about that?” 

“Of course I did.” Harry returned to gaze a the fire,

“Then you know I’m not going to take it.” He said stubbornly and Remus smiled softly, hiding his face in Harry’s hair, 

“Why not?” 

“Because I won’t be responsible for you losing your job!” Harry cried, throwing his hands in exasperation. How could Remus think he would do such a thing- how could McGonagall for that matter?

“You won’t be.” Remus assured him, “She offered me the History of Magic gig.” Harry let out a snort, 

“Finally getting rid of old man Binns, is she?” 

“First thing she did.” Remus answered happily. The longest reign of boredom in Hogwarts was finally over. A part of Remus was actually itching to take the position, bring some life into the most boring subject in school. But most of him still wanted to teach DADA, which was far more exciting and much more up his alley. 

“Do you even like History of Magic?” Harry asked, rather incredulously, knowing his lover better than most people gave him credit for. Remus shrugged, 

“Not particularly, I always fancied myself more of a Divination teacher,” He drawled dreamily, “Do you think beads would suit me?” Harry chuckled, 

“No, but a horse’s tail might.” Remus tightened his arms around his lover and smirked into his hair, 

“Mmm, kinky.” Harry rolled his eyes, doing his best not to let himself get dragged into Remus’ humour, but he let himself bask in the fact that Remus was not taking things too badly. 

“You understand that I cannot take this job then. I would not be the reason you’re out of office.” He stressed the point, “If you’re going to take on the History of Magic position you’re going to end up all bitter like Snape.” Harry shuddered at the thought while Remus howled with laughter.

“Oh, I don’t mind, I’d look smashing in black. Just as long as I don’t have to marry Tonks.” Remus said happily, 

“I don’t want to be a teacher.” Harry mused wonderingly, as if he only reached the conclusion. 

“But I thought you liked it, you certainly did a great job with the DA.” Harry shrugged, 

“That was different. Hermione bullied me into that, and besides, she did all the ‘proper teaching’ I was just demonstrating.” Remus shook his head, not wanting to defy Harry’s words. Truth be told he was hoping Harry would not come to Hogwarts- not only because it would mean Remus had to switch jobs but mostly because he wasn’t exactly sure how having his lover with him day in and day out would work. Besides, unlike him, Harry had pretty much every option in the world open to him, as the saviour and as a very talented young man, and getting stuck in Hogwarts was just not worth it at this point of Harry’s life. 

“So, what are you going to do?” He pressed gently, knowing that Harry was pretty much sick of being asked that question but since Remus hasn’t sprung it yet he figured he deserved to ask it at least once. Harry shrugged, knowing he would have to face the issue at some point. Apparently just being the hero of the magical world and being filthy rich did not consist as a valid occupation. Not that Harry was too keen on making much of his fame, but it would still be nice not to have everyone hovering over his shoulder so that he could take the time and weight his options. 

“I don’t know. There’s always Seamus’ suggestion.” Remus gasped theatrically, 

“Oh, good gods, you two are going to open up a brothel!” Harry couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him, because this was something that Seamus could come up with, and not as a complete lark either. 

“Erm, close, a pastry shop actually.” Remus smiled at that, knowing that Harry had found his calling, and also knowing he’d try and fight it off nonetheless. 

“That sounds great!” He cried out enthusiastically, and Harry’s eyes lit up, 

“I know! There’s this magical school in Paris that offers a two years program for that, and it’s an international school so most of it is even in English!” 

“Paris? As in France?” Harry rolled his eyes, 

“Well, it certainly ain’t in Dorset!” Remus’ smile broadened at Harry’s enthusiasm, while the young man was waving his hands excitedly, completely caught up in his dream, “And when we finish we plan to come back here and open up a shop in Diagon Alley! Seamus wanted to call it ‘buns’ but I don’t really think that’ll work…” Remus laughed, 

“Well, sounds like you’ve got it all worked out.” He pointed. Harry frowned, looking a little deflated, 

“Not exactly,” He said slowly and Remus wanted to roll his eyes and smack the back of Harry’s head, 

“What do you mean? You’ve got a name!” He pointed out, still trying to contain his laughter. If only Sirius and James knew… Having their son and godson opening a pastry-shop and calling it ‘Buns’ was just the kind of thing that would make their year. Harry, on the other hand, sighed deep, 

“It’s just that… What if…” He began, frowning again, not sure how to voice his concerns, when Remus cut in, 

“What if the Doctor showed up and offered you to step into the TARDIS?” Harry threw his hands up in the air, completely frustrated, 

“Argh! Why do you have to turn everything into a bloody joke?” He cried and Remus shook his head, 

“Because you’re being ridiculous!” Harry gaped at him open mouthed, completely taken back by the harsh tone his lover was using, but Remus pressed on regardless, determined to deliver his point and make Harry see some sense at last, “Do you have any idea what you look like when you’re talking about doing this? For the love of Merlin, I don’t think I’ve seen you this happy in a long time and you’re going to throw it all for what? Me?” Harry opened his mouth to answer but Remus lifted his hand, “I just want you to be happy, Cailean, and this sounds like just the thing you need to make you happy.” 

“I am happy. With you.” Harry said with a soft smile, that did nothing to convince Remus to drop the subject, 

“Yes, but for how long?” Harry looked at him with shock and hurt written all over his face. He honestly thought they were past the stage of self-consciousness by now. Remus sighed and rubbed his forehead, trying to find the right words to explain himself, “How long are you going to be happy doing nothing? I know you, you need a challenge. You need something to keep you going, something that would make you want to get out of bed every morning, and that thing isn’t me.” Harry frowned and curled into himself, trying to make sense of what Remus was saying, 

“What… I don’t understand…” He confessed lowly at last, 

“I mean I’m the way, the means to help you in your cause. I’m going to support you in everything you decide to do but I’m hardly a goal to strive to. You already got me, hand-fastened and all, I’m not going anywhere!” Harry let a lop-sided smile to spread on his face, Remus wasn’t going anywhere alright! “What other objections could you _possibly_ have?”

Harry sighed, he knew he was being silly, but daydreaming of a pastry shop in Diagon Alley was one thing, and thinking of what he’d have to do and what he’d have to sacrifice on the way to that dream was a different thing altogether. “I just… There are so many things that could…”

“Stop it!” Remus cut through his words forcefully and Harry lifted his eyes to see the stubborn set of Remus’ mouth, “Stop stalling and finding excuses not to do what you want!” 

“I can’t spend two whole years without seeing you!” Harry yelled, and Remus leaned back in satisfaction, glad that he could finally drag the confession out of his lover. 

“Did they teleport Paris to the moon while I wasn’t looking?” He asked lightly and Harry snarled at him, only to receive a broad smile and a light peck on his nose for his efforts, 

“This is the time we’re supposed to work on our relationship.” He insisted, 

“Make it work under ‘normal circumstances’?” Remus asked with a slightly cynical tone. Not that he was against working on their relationship but he knew that if Harry didn’t have at least an idea for later the ‘normal circumstances’ would soon turn into trying to keep their relationship from falling completely apart because they’ll get on each other’s nerves all too soon. “Well, as it turns out I’m pretty much free for the next, oh, six months.” He added in a casual tone, 

“Really?” 

“Yes, the school won’t be reopened until September which means I’m free as a roaming wolf in the Arctic.” Remus grinned, and Harry bit his lip in anticipation,

“So… You’re saying you want to come to Paris with me?” Remus pretended to give it some thought, 

“Hmm, I don’t know… six months in the most romantic city in the world with my beautiful mate… I think I’m going to need a bit more time to mull it over…” He said pensively just before Harry jumped him and started tickling him to show his disapproval of the sarcastic answer. Remus tried his best to avoid the flailing hands while trying to catch his breath from laughing, 

“Git!” Harry said with a smiling pout as they settled into a proper cuddle on the sofa a while later. Remus ran his hand in Harry’s messy locks, the idea to go to Paris was making him giddier by the second. Perhaps he should grow a little goatee and start wearing berets and black turtlenecks… Or maybe he should just skip anything that would give the French any reason to kick him out of their country… He looked down at Harry’s pouting lips, 

“Did anyone ever tell you, you look cute when you’re flustered?” He teased lightly. Harry rolled his eyes, 

“Lily, constantly.” Remus sniggered, 

“Speaking of…” He started tentatively, but Harry was ready for the question, 

“I think we should go visit them tomorrow.” He decided, “It could be our Christmas day tradition, going to visit Lily, James and Sirius.” 

“Damn, and I wanted our Christmas day tradition to be blueberries pancakes and blowjobs…” Harry shook his head as he pulled himself free from his lover, and gave Remus a commanding look, 

“I’m going to fire-call Seamus and tell him we’re going to Paris and when I get back I expect to find you in our bed, naked!” Remus straightened on the sofa, bringing his right hand to his forehead in a tight salute, 

“Yes sir! Whatever you say, sir!” He cried happily. Harry rolled his eyes and left the room to the sound of his lover rolling laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> McGonagall decided that in light of the war that started during the summer the school was unsafe to be opened. Therefore all the students would skip a year (much to the annoyance of all, naturally), but the seventh year (Ginny’s class) would receive special NEWT’s depending on what they wanted to major in (it’s a bit complicated and not overly important to the story line but if any of you feels like they need some extra explaining, write to me and I’ll be happy to oblige.)


	41. 41

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Forty-one: You're not seen, you're not heard, but I stand by my word  
(Title from ‘Reasons for waiting’ by Jethro Tull, album ‘Stand up’)**

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

Harry looked around him doing his best to control his erratic breath and the rapid beating of his heart. How he hated graveyards. Nothing good ever happened to him in a graveyard. To him graveyards only symbolized Voldemort and the pain and loss he’d inflicted upon Harry’s life since near birth. He looked at the two headstones, on the names carved upon it and sighed. In his mind James and Lily would always be teenagers, friends he could laugh and play pranks with, friends he could confide in and tell his troubles to, laughing, crying and very much alive. They were not meant to be names and dates etched in stone. It just felt wrong.

Remus stepped forward, seeing Harry’s distress and placed his hand on the small of the younger man’s back, rubbing slow circles to calm Harry down. Harry smiled slightly, drawing strength from his lover, Remus knew this would not be easy on Harry, and tried to put his own feelings aside. In a way it was easier for him because he had already come to terms with Lily and James’ murders. He knew them a lot longer than Harry had and had plenty of time to mourn and grief over his fallen friends. Harry on the other hand, had just met them back in the past, not even a year in total and his memories of them would probably be fresher, livelier.

“I feel like I should say something, tell them what’s going on and how the war ended…” Harry said softly, feeling like his voice was far too loud for the silent place, 

“Then you should.” 

“Would it be any good?” Harry and Remus both jumped at the sound of the cheery voice, turning around slowly to see James Potter, pearly white and floating a couple of inches above the ground, “I’m a busy ghost you know.” He said with an important air, looking down his nose at them. Remus grinned, once you’ve been a marauder, not even death will be able to make you stop. 

“Hello Prongs.” He said with a chuckle, 

“Hello Moonbeam.” James said pleasantly and turned to fix Harry with a haughty glare, “And Hello to you too.” Harry smiled broadly, 

“Hey dad.” James rolled his eyes, 

“Don’t you ‘Hey dad’ me!” He scoffed and waved a spiritual finger at his son, “You don’t call, you never come to visit, don’t you love us anymore?” He complained loudly. 

“Oh, leave them be, James.” Harry looked startled to see Lily floating towards them, her pearly hair flowing behind her, “You’ll have to excuse him, he’s been spending a lot of his time at the Jewish section lately.” 

“Hello mum.” Harry whispered in awe. Lily raised an unimpressed eyebrow, 

“You look familiar, like someone I used to know, but you can’t possibly be him, because he would _visit,_!” 

“I’m sorry!” Harry cried, feeling his face flush, this was not fair, he didn’t avoid the place on purpose, he had other things to do thank you very much and the last thing he expected when he set out to visit his parents’ graves was for them to show up in ghost form and give him grief. “I couldn’t come before now! There was a war going on!” 

“Oh, we know all about the war,” Lily waved a dismissing hand, “Who do you think gave Dumbledore the information he was seeking?” 

“So, you were the ‘anonymous source’ that fed Dumbledore information on where to find the Horcruxes?” Harry asked, amazed, and both Lily and James beamed at him, 

“Sure was!” James cried happily, “Turns out Voldemort’s favourite gathering spot was cemeteries, and ghosts can travel to wherever life is buried, so we told Dumbledore everything Snivellus couldn’t.” Harry saw the roll of Lily’s eyes over the name ‘Snivellus’ but decided not to reprimand his father for it, lest it turned into a fight between the four of them. 

“Well, you know what they say,” Remus offered cheerfully, trying to elevate the mood after James’ blunt tongue-slip, “Once an Order member…” 

“Always a Dumbledore lackey!” James finished triumphantly and the four snickered, 

“So, how are you two doing?” Lily asked briskly, and both Harry and Remus smiled widely, “Hmm, I see things have turned out for the best since you came back.” 

“Came back from where?” James asked curiously and Lily bit her lip and took a deep breath. Harry and Remus had to look the other way to maintain any sort of dignity, 

“For the love of Merlin James, I’ve told you this a hundred times!” She snapped at her husband, who didn’t look baffled at the least. All of which made Harry suspect this was not the first argument his parents had on the issue. It was still funny though, to see that he could rile Lily up now as much as he did back then. Death must have been really boring for James… “Harry is Jaime, he fell through a time-alcove and ended up in our last year!” 

“Oh, I thought you just made it up to keep me amused.” James turned a blinding smile at Lily’s glare. She shook her head and turned to Harry and Remus, 

“Ignore him,” She advised, “So, tell me everything, I bet Remus put on quite a fight before you two got together again.” Before Harry had a chance to confirm his mother’s words, James jumped, 

“What do you mean together? Wait a minute!” His entire form swelled with righteous rage. From behind his back Harry could see Lily shrugging in despair, it was amazing how short James’ span of attention was when he didn’t feel like getting things. Remus lifted his hands and smiled nervously, 

“Look Prongs, I can explain…” He pleaded, trying to pacify his ghostly friend. James crossed his hands over his chest,

“You better!” He barked and floated away from the rest, obviously expecting Remus to follow. Remus shot a quick glance at Lily who gave a wink and a smile before he turned to follow his friend, his heart plummeting free-fall style past his stomach to re-locate near his feet. 

“Hmm, well, when I said I could explain… I didn’t… I mean, I can’t _really_ explain, it all happened really fast, but in my defence I can only say that I didn’t know that Harry was Jaime when he was back in our time, you _know_ I’d never go after your son…” Remus babbled, desperately trying to make a point he wasn’t even sure what it was. “And… and after he came back, I couldn’t really tell you anything because you were dead.” He finished lamely and looked down at his hands. James sighed, it used to be a lot more fun to vex Remus in the past… 

“That’s fine.” Remus snapped his head in astonishment and when he saw the smile on James’ face he narrowed his eyes in a glare. Stupid Prongs, getting him all worked up for nothing! “there’s something I need to talk to you about, it’s Sirius.” 

“But you just said you were fine with it!” Remus protested, and James frowned, 

“I am. You know all too well that if you hurt one hair of my boy’s head both Lils and I would haunt you to the grave.” 

“Then what’s so serious?” 

“Sirius.” Remus took a deep breath, this conversation wasn’t going too well. Maybe death messed up with James’ mind, he thought, not that James’ mind wasn’t pretty messed up _before_ death.

“I don’t understand.” He said at last, accepting defeat in the battle to understand his friend. James looked ready to tear his hair out in frustration, 

“Sirius, Sirius Black, Padfoot!” Remus’ brow cleared and he let out a little chuckle, 

“Oh, what about Pads, he’s dead.” 

“No he isn’t.” 

“Yes, he is.” James bit his lip and held himself back, trying to get a firm hold on the conversation again, after all he didn’t have all the time in the world for Remus to stop playing thick-as-mud with him,

“No, he isn’t.” He repeated sombrely, but before he could utter another word Remus jumped in, 

“What do you mean he isn’t dead. I saw him, we both did, Harry and me, he fell… Bellatrix Lestrange, she…” James nodded in sympathy, 

“Fired the killing curse at him. But you see, the curse hit Pads only _after_ he went behind the veil, and then it changed.” Remus blinked in confusion, 

“Changed, changed how?” 

“Instead of killing Sirius the curse turned into some form of life sharing bond between the two.” James explained. Remus’ frown deepened, not quite understanding where James was going with that, “Sirius has been living off Bellatrix’s life force. didn’t you ever wondered why she was so frail and weak when you found her?” 

“I… It was Tonks’ and Draco’s job… I don’t know.” Remus mumbled, completely overrun with possibilities, if Sirius wasn’t dead… 

“Anyway, now that Bellatrix is dead, Sirius is losing power and quite quickly.” James concluded, and Remus’ head snapped up, 

“Oh, gods, we can’t let him die again!” He cried, and James gave him a condescending nod which Remus chose to ignore, “What can we do?” 

“You are going to have to call him out.” 

“Call him out?” Remus asked in disbelief, “You want me to stand next to the veil and just call Sirius to me?” James nodded again. “Will it work?” He asked suspiciously, hoping that James was just pulling his leg and that he’d share the real plan soon enough. 

“Yes, it will. Sirius is lost, he needs someone to guide him back.” He explained, “Now, there are two very important things to remember.” He said and Remus nodded absently, trying to figure out how he was going to execute the plan of calling Sirius back. He’d have to gain access to the Department of Mysteries for one thing, “Moony, focus!” James snapped his fingers under Remus’ nose and the latter jumped back in surprise, “The first thing is you mustn’t, not under any circumstances let the ectoplasm touch you!” 

“What’s ectoplasm?” 

“It’s the stuff Sirius is going to be covered with when he comes out from behind the veil. I suggest you get two port-keys and send him straight to the Hogwarts infirmary, we’ll notify Madame Pomfrey. She’ll know what to do next.” Remus nodded, this actually started to sound more and more like a proper plan and not some joke on James’ part. 

“I should probably contact Arthur, so he can arrange for entrance to the Department of Mysteries, and so that he can create the port-keys.” He said to himself, and James nodded again, 

“Yeah, you do that. Tell him we say hi.” Remus gave him half a smile in return, this was hardly the time to tell James of what Molly’s reaction to his and Harry’s relationship was. The last thing he needed was an enraged ghost haunting down the Weasley’s. Not when there was Sirius to think of. 

“Okay. What was the other thing?” He asked absently, 

“Don’t tell Harry.” Remus blinked at James in suspicion, and the ghost sighed, “He’s been through enough, and I’d hate to raise his hopes in case it doesn’t work. If we can’t bring Pads back then I’d rather Harry continue thinking he was dead all along.” James said soberly and Remus sighed. Yes, this was probably something that Harry shouldn’t be burdened with, not after all he’s been through. This was a job for the Marauders to finish. Saving one of their own, Harry would only reap the benefits should they succeed, and won’t have to endure the agony should they fail. 

****

\--0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0--

Harry watched his dad’s stiff retreating back and bit his lip with uncertainty,

“Will Remus be alright?” He asked, wondering what he could do if Remus wasn’t. Striking at his father once had lasted him a life time of guilt after all. Not that he thought he could strike a ghost anyway. 

“Oh, he’ll be fine. James just likes to flex his muscles every now and then.” Lily assured him as she indicated the nearest bench with her head. Harry tossed one last glance over at his father and lover before following her. He perched himself on the bench after casting a light warming charm while Lily floated above it, assuming a sitting posture but not actually touching the wood. Harry smiled somewhat shyly at his mother while Lily beamed at him with pride, “You look happy, Izzy.” Harry winced a little at the name, gods how he hoped that it had died with his mother, but alas, no. 

“I _am_ happy.” He said with a soft smile, which made Lily’s own grow wider. Harry looked just like Jaime had when he’d finally snagged Remus as his own. No, in fact, he looked happier, more complete. The war was over, he was back in his own time and there were no more obstacles to his love. 

“Good. I’m glad that you are. I was starting to worry about you.” Harry’s smile slipped from his face, and he stiffened a little, 

“Why, you thought I’d die in the Final Battle?” His tone was annoyed, even though he tried not to show it, it wouldn’t have mattered if the entire Wizarding World said he’d win, if his own mother didn’t believe in it. 

“Pfft, no!” Lily said dismissively, and Harry felt his anger melting, “I knew you’d win against the old snake. I was more worried about you and Remus.” Harry shrugged, 

“We’re fine.” He said somewhat distantly, it was really nice to talk to Lily again, but that still didn’t mean he wanted to talk to her about himself and Remus. Some things should be kept private from people, especially mothers. He tossed a quick glance at Remus again, seeing that he and James were deep in conversation and didn’t look like he was about to have his head bitten off by a snappy ghost and relaxed a little. Lily watched his every move, noting the way his eyes kept looking up at Remus to make sure the werewolf was doing alright. It was really heart-warming, albeit somewhat too sweet for her taste. 

“Yes, I can see that. But were you always this cozy?” Harry returned his gaze to Lily, 

“I suppose…” 

“Izzy!” Lily snapped, and Harry pursed his lips in childish stubbornness, “Stop playing dumb! I may be dead but I’m still your mother!” 

“What do you want me to say?” He cried, running his hand in his unruly hair in frustration, “That when I came back Remus didn’t want anything to do with me? That he said that he could never love me because I was too young and your son? Or maybe you’d like to know that following that I had a breakdown and thought my life was over, and even considered giving myself to the Dark Lord at some point?” Harry’s breathing was hard, his face flushed. In a way it felt good to get all of this out, deal with things once and for all, 

“Do you want me tell you how I owe every last bit of happiness in my life to none other than Severus Snape of all people because if he hadn’t persuaded Remus to give me a chance I’d probably be on Prozac or even dead? That it was only Snape’s damned razor-sharp tongue that made Remus come to my dorm room and wank me off while I told him how I fantasized about him spanking me?” Harry’s mouth snapped shot, as soon as he realized what his last words had been, of crap… Double, triple, quadruple crap if the shine in Lily’s eyes was any indication, 

“My, my, Izzy…” Lily drawled, which made Harry’s cheeks burn even brighter, “Never knew you had it in you…” Harry buried his face in his hands, wishing the ground would swallow him up on the spot, “You little minx.” Lily added happily and Harry groaned, 

“Oh, good gods I can’t believe I just said that…” 

“Come on, don’t be shy, tell me more…” Harry’s wide eyes turned to face his _mother_ , his own _mother_! He couldn’t decide whether Lily was serious or she was having him on, but either way, this conversation had been more humiliating than anything else he could remember at the moment. 

“This conversation is over!” He declared with all the dignity he could dig up. Standing up from the bench and hoping that his knees won’t give way under him. Lily straightened up as well and reached a hand towards him, 

“No, no, no, wait…” She cried, her face full of remorse, though Harry could still the mischievous glint in her eye, “I’ll be good, I promise.” She added meekly, and Harry rolled his eyes, not buying her act for a second but still reluctant to leave her side. He slowly sat back down, keeping his eyes firmly on his mother, as Lily smiled encouragingly at him. “I want to hear all about the wedding plans.” 

“What wedding plans?” Harry asked puzzled. Lily rolled her eyes in exasperation, 

“Yours of course, with Remus.” She fixed Harry with a stern glare, “You _are_ going to make it official aren’t you? I will not have my son living in sin.” She finished indignantly, with an air of self-importance that made Harry want to burst laughing. 

“To late for _that_.” He mumbled to himself and Lily chuckled to herself, 

“And to think I used to try and give you all those sex talks and advice about sex, saying I’d give them to you again in the future… Gods, you must think I was a complete dunderhead…”   
Harry could feel the lump forming in his throat, 

“No, gods, mum, no never!” He blinked rapidly against the stinging in his eyes, because this was exactly how it felt back then, when he used to talk to Lily, knowing each conversation, no matter how embarrassing for him was something he’d cherish for life because he knew he would never get to hear it again. Lily, on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice her son’s discomfort, and if she did she chose to ignore it. Instead she rubbed her hands briskly, her eyes once again gleaming, 

“Good, because I’ve had loads of time to work on my speeches! So which one would you like first- ‘How children come to the world’ or ‘Safe sex for the gay man’?” Harry shook his head in desperation, there was no going around it was there? 

“Neither!” He tried to muster as much dignity he could, although the corners of his mouth were twitching. Lily pouted, 

“You’re no fun.” She complained and Harry couldn’t help the little chuckle that escaped him, 

“Well, excuse me if I don’t feel all too comfortable about discussing sex with my dead mother!” 

“Would you rather it be your dead father?” Lily asked in a serious tone, smiling inwardly as Harry’s eyes widened, 

“Merlin, No!” He gasped, truly horrified at the prospect. If a conversation with Lily was bound to be humiliating, one with James would be one step down from performing a hara-kiri in the middle of the Great Hall, on the night of the opening feast. 

“Then you’re stuck with me.” Lily said with a cheerful smile, and Harry just barely managed not to stick his tongue at her, “I’m thinking of an outdoor, summer wedding.” Lily added dreamily and Harry sighed, gods, talk about a one track mind…

“Lily,” He said slowly, trying to make it as clear as possible to the stubborn ghost, “We are not planning a wedding!” 

“Why not?” 

“For one thing, I’m not a girl!” Harry huffed, and Lily smiled again, this was probably more than she needed to know about her son’s sex life… It was funny how Harry automatically assumed he’d be playing the ‘girl’ part, but at the same time it was more than slightly disturbing for Lily to realize that her son, was indeed, a bottom. “And for another, we’re…umm.” At that Lily’s jaw dropped in shock, 

“Oh, sweet Merlin’s beard you already have!” She cried and Harry gaped at her, again baffled at her amazing ability to read between the lines. “You already have!” For a moment she was spluttering in shock, unable to find words to describe her feelings, “You… You!” She pointed a shaky finger at her son, “You got married without inviting us!” She placed her hand over her heart dramatically and flicked her hair back, pointing her chin up in resentment, “I’m shocked, appalled and very hurt, I’ll have you know!” 

“We didn’t get married,” Harry tried to explain calmly, though the hurt look on Lily’s face was actually making him want to smirk at her. Serves her right for humiliating him before! “We got hand-fasted.” 

“Same difference.” Lily waved her hand in dismissal. It was quite unfair that she won’t get to see her only son’s matrimony. Especially now that Harry knew that she and James were ghosts. 

“We didn’t really invite people, it sort of…” Harry said, a little uneasy, “It was kind of spontaneous, it was actually Remus’ gift for my birthday.” He said fondly, while tracing his finger over the shimmering band on his wrist. 

“Hmm, tell me…” Lily leaned over and said dreamily. Harry snapped from his musing and coughed a little, reminding himself he could not let his guard down near Lily. 

“No.” He said in a tone that meant he had no desire to continue the conversation. A tone which Lily cheerfully ignored. 

“Oh, I see,” She said slyly, and Harry felt his cheeks flushing again, “Sex on the spot… Very nice, wish I had thought of it myself.” 

“Lily!” Harry said firmly, determined to get at least something out of the conversation, something he’d be willing to think back upon and not cringe with horror that is, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Is it sex related?” 

“NO! Will you stop with the sex trip already!” Lily shrugged, 

“You try being a ghost for four years, see what else you have to talk about then.” In a way, Harry could see the reasoning behind that, but he wasn’t going to dwell on it right now, 

“Speaking of which, how come you guys are ghosts?” Lily gave him a broad smile, rubbing her hands together in glee, ready to launch into the new topic, for which Harry was immensely grateful. 

“It all happened that night Voldemort was resurrected,” She began her tale, “That night you fought with him and called our spirits from his wand.” Harry nodded sadly, of course he remembered that night, it was one of the worst in his life. And even after all he’s been through, and all the people he’d lost, the night Cedric Diggory died still remained one of the most horrible memories in Harry’s life. “After you left and took the Diggory boy’s body with you, we stayed and held the monster back for as long as we could before we took the others and came here. The boy, I believe his name was Cedric- very handsome by the way, such a shame really, he wouldn’t stay behind.” Harry closed his eyes and refused to contemplate on his mother’s words because she did _not_ just say she’d like to have a ghostly affair with Cedric! “Anyway, we sent Cedric to reunite with his body along with a message to Dumbledore that we decided to stay ghosts. The old man was very rude, he just left, didn’t even say goodbye.” 

“But why? Why did you stay behind?” Harry demanded, not that he wasn’t pleased at the chance of talking to his mother again but remembering the ghosts in Hogwarts, it seemed rather strange to him that people would actually _want_ to become ghosts for all eternity. 

“It was for you, sweets, after we learned what happened that night we knew we had to do everything within our power to help you. We failed you once already.” Lily trailed sadly, it was still hard to talk about certain things, and _that_ night was one of them. For a long moment both of them sat silent, each absorbed in his or hers own thoughts, when Remus and James came back from their little chat, both looking determined and somewhat grim. 

“Everything alright?” James asked, catching his wife’s eye, and Lily gave him a sad smile.

“Yup, everything’s fine.” Remus cleared his throat and Harry looked up startled, 

“Cailean, I think it’s time we head home. If we stay here any longer we will be turned into snow angels on someone’s grave.” He said briskly, rubbing his hands together. As a matter of fact, Remus wasn’t in the slight bit cold, not when there was so much to do and so little time for it. He felt his blood gushing in his veins, his body yearning for action. If only Severus could see him like that, he’d have a thing or two to say about Gryffindor impatience. 

“Yeah, we should go. But I promise we’ll be back soon.” Harry said as he rose from the bench, feeling every muscle in his body stiff with cold, even with the warming charm on the bench. 

“Oh, you better! Because if you don’t we know where you live!” James mock-threatened, before pausing, “You still live in Grimmauld Place, right?” Harry snickered and nodded. He wished he could hug his parents goodbye, but the memory of Nearly-Headless-Nick’s party and the way it felt to have a ghost pass through you made him stick his hands deep in the pockets of his winter cloak instead.

James and Lily watched as Harry and Remus made their way to the gate, waving and smiling at the retreating backs. They watched the way Remus wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist, bringing them close together. 

“Did you tell him?” Lily asked, her eyes never leaving the couple retreating from her, 

“Yes.” 

“Any chance it’ll work?” James sighed, 

“Gods, I hope so. Either way, we’ll get to see Sirius here soon.” Lily nodded, wrapping her arms around her for comfort, 

“Yeah, let’s just hope it’ll be the coloured version.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is not up with cannon or anything, but before the sixth book came out my friend and I discussed it and she said that there is no actual proof that Sirius is really dead, as he just fell through (the bit about Bellatrix and the AK is from the movie, if my memory serves me right, which it may very well, not…), so this is for Beankin’. Besides, who doesn’t want to see Padfoot back?? 
> 
> There are so many jokes in the Jewish folklore about the overbearing and protective mother I just had to put something in. It just fitted in my mind. 
> 
> Hara-kiri is a Japanese traditional suicide ritual, performed by Samurais who had fallen captive or where dishonoured. The ritual of Hara-kiri, or Sepuku is an honourable suicide through self disembowelment. 
> 
> ‘The old man’ Lily was referring to is Frank Bryce, who was killed by Voldemort on the beginning of ‘Goblet of Fire’ (he’s the old muggle that used to live in the Riddle mansion). 
> 
> Hmm, quite a little twist here… What will happen next? (Dun, dun, dun…)


	42. 42

****

  
JADED

..oo00oo..

Chapter Forty-two: Black is back! 

..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..

Remus looked down at the sleep-relaxed face of his lover, smiling softly. When they returned from the graveyard yesterday after a detour to the Weasley’s for dinner Harry had been so emotionally exhausted that he’d retired to bed soon after they entered the door, which suited Remus just fine as he had a lot of things to get ready for the following day and hiding his intentions from Harry was made easier by the fact that he didn’t have to lie about anything.

Remus carefully got out of the bed, and Harry gave a small sigh and rolled over. Remus smiled again, Harry was going to be quite surprised when he woke up in a few hours to find himself alone in bed. Usually it was he, Harry, who was the early riser of the two. With the help of his wand-light Remus quickly donned his robes, the chill of the room seeping into his limbs now that he’d left the warmth of the covers. He tossed a glace at the window, heaving a small sigh of disappointment at the blackness that greeted him from the other side. How he wished he could just slide back into the bed and forget all about the nasty winter outside… But there was Sirius to think of, and the sooner he got started on his task, the sooner he’d be able to pull Sirius back into the land of the living. Hopefully.

Once he was down in the entrance hall, Remus quickly pulled on his boots, gloves, scarf and woolly hat. Even with all the renovations Harry had made in the past month or so, a house this size was still hard to warm up properly in the winter, especially at this ungodly hour. With a deep breath Remus opened the door and ventured out into the freezing darkness. Since the house in Grimmauld Place was still under the Fidelius charm the fireplaces were connected to a very slim number of floo ports, namely the Headmaster’s office in Hogwarts and The Burrow which forced Remus to leave the house altogether and apparate to the center of London, next to the tourist entrance of the Ministry of Magic, where he and Arthur had set to meet. 

When he emerged from the alley he had apparated into Remus saw Arthur already waiting for him, hopping from one foot to another to fight off the cold. Remus quickly approached him and the older man smiled at him gratefully, 

“You’re here. Let’s go.” He said briskly and the two men squeezed into the old telephone booth. Remus could feel his heart rate beginning to increase, this was real, this was actually happening! Down at the bottom of the telephone lift the two exited and marched quickly over the deserted Atrium of the Ministry, their footsteps echoing on the dark marble. Remus hated the ministry, it was the manifestation of evil to him, here sat the people who declared him a monster and a danger to society, forcing him to hide for most of his life. Here sat the people that made Harry’s life hell for the most part, and most importantly, here was the place he associated with Sirius’ death, or disappearance. In a way it felt good to have one over the ministry, even if it amounted to nothing. 

Remus sighed and shook his head as the grill of the elevator closed behind them in a loud screech. Everything was far too loud for his liking, his sensitive ears were constantly perked up to try and work out noises that were not made by him and Arthur. Although technically neither of them were out of bounds, since the ministry was not being sealed off for the night no-one could actually do anything to them, but Remus still preferred to leave their business quiet. Merlin knows that once the truth came out, if he succeeded, all hell would break loose. Remus was only glad the Order had insisted on clearing Sirius’ name, post-mortem, when Peter Pettigrew’s body was presented as evidence to his quite recent death. 

The trip down to level nine was all too slow for Remus’ liking, but Arthur didn’t seem disturbed by it at all. As a matter of fact, he was still quite sceptical about the wisdom of the plan. When Remus approached him last night after dinner Arthur had to fight off the urge to laugh in Remus’ face more than once. If it wasn’t for the fire in the werewolf’s eyes and the fact that Arthur himself wanted Sirius to be saved he’d have dismissed the whole idea on the spot, writing it off as some sort of Marauders’ prank. But he did everything that Remus asked of him, and he would be the first to offer Remus his support and condolences should he fail. 

“Alright, Remus, here are the portkeys you asked for.” Arthur said in a kind voice, handing Remus a pouch made of soft, dark fabric. They were standing at the bottom of the dais on which the veiled arch stood, Remus was eyeing the softly swishing translucent veil, trying to harden his resolve and faith in his mission. He nodded and took the pouch from the older wizard and opened the laces to peer inside, “Now, there are two of them, both activated by touch and a verbal command, which is ‘Hogwarts infirmary’. You just need to drop one into Sirius’ hand and say the words and the portkey will activate. The other one is for you to follow.” Arthur explained, and Remus nodded his understanding before he pulled back the laces and closed the sack, hiding the two crumpled parchments that were his portkeys. 

“Thank you Arthur, for everything.” Remus said, trying to voice how deeply he was touched by the willingness to assist. Not everyone would agree to get up at five a.m. and create unregistered portkeys for a cause they didn’t fully believe in. 

“Don’t worry lad, it’s quite alright.” Arthur said with a smile and turned to leave before he lifted his finger in the air and turned again, “I almost forgot,” He said cheerfully and extracted a small parcel from his pocket. With a tap of his wand the parcel grew to the size of a small box, which he handed to Remus, “Molly sent you some food.” Remus let out a surprised chuckle. No matter how much he’d sparred with the woman, she was still the best cook in Britain and turning down Molly’s cooking was sheer folly. Besides, the woman couldn’t really help herself it seemed, and no amount of arguments with Remus could beat the mother hen out of her. 

“Thank you.” Arthur gave him a friendly slap on the back and left Remus to his own. Although he wasn’t overly fond of waking up so early, this at least gave him the opportunity to finish a few things that were accumulating on his desk. Or, as was more likely, kip for a while on his office sofa, at least until his secretary came bustling in. Gods, Arthur thought with a small mental sigh, if he’d known how much crap he had to put up with as Deputy Minister he’d have happily stayed in his little corner in the Misused Muggle Artifacts Office. 

As soon as Remus was left alone he turned to the dais and looked up at the veil. He contemplated where would be the best spot for him to sit while he was calling Sirius out, since he had a feeling this would take a while. In the end he decided that just where he was standing was the best place, he remembered James’ warning about ectoplasm and though he was not entirely sure what the veil was made of he had no desire to touch it. And so he conjured himself a comfy armchair and snuggled into it, bringing his knees to his chest and putting both Molly’s food offering and the portkeys on the armrest. 

“Hmm, ok, I feel like a complete fool now…” He mumbled to himself before he cleared his throat, “So, here I am, sitting here like a complete moron, trying to call you out because James said you’re not dead… he said you’ve been wondering around lost and unable to find your way out.” Remus chewed on his lip for a while, trying to think of what to say next. He couldn’t very well just shout Sirius’ name for the next couple of hours, now could he? “How can I tell if you’re hearing me or not?” Remus frowned a bit, before he picked up his wand and cast the strongest silencing charms he knew over the room, and then pointed the wand to his throat casting a ‘sonorus’. 

“Ah,” He said and immediately flinched at the vibrating of his own voice. Casting a sonorus in a room full of people was one thing, casting one in a dead silent room was down right freaky. Remus swallowed and decided to do his best to ignore the fact that he was alone in a room while his voice carried out like rippling water, disturbing the shadows in every corner. “Much better…” He winced a little at his own words. 

“So… what can I tell you… I’m back at Dumbledore’s disposal, only now it’s not the old man anymore but the old cat, if you know what I mean. So, yes, the war is over and we won. Harry did what he had to do, what Dumbledore trained him to do, and Voldemort is gone. As is Bellatrix, Lucius and most importantly, the rat.” Remus paused, taking a deep breath, “I know you’d be mad at me for not letting you in on the fun, but I had to do it. For your sake as well as Lily’s and James’. I killed Wormtail, and I really hate myself for that.” He gritted his teeth hard, damn, Peter could annoy him even from beyond the grave. In a way the rat has achieved the ultimate revenge on his former friend, since Remus knew that he would never be able to rid himself entirely of the guilt of being a murderer. Just another thing that bonded him and Harry stronger together… Remus shook himself from his morbid thoughts, this was not the time for past regrets, after all, he was trying to pull Sirius out, not to depress him so thoroughly that he’d decide to stay behind the veil. 

Remus scrubbed his face, feeling very flummoxed at the moment, and then his elbow connected with the box containing Molly’s food. Remus picked it up, opening it to see the hidden treats. It seemed Molly thought that calling Sirius out would take at least a couple of days, or she mistook Remus for Hagrid because there was enough food in the box for three of him. Remus decided to bypass the ‘healthier’ food in favour of munching on Molly’s world-famous apple tartlets that were practically singing to him with their glossiness and scrumptious smell. It took him several moments of happy nibbling before he even remembered what he was doing sitting in the Departments of Mysteries in the first place, so he swallowed his mouthful, licked his fingers and tried to regain his thought-thread. 

“Hmm, on happier news, Lils and Prongs have become ghosts! They say it was to ‘help Harry out’ but I think they were just bored. Anyway, they’re pearly white and translucent but just as perky and annoying as they were in life. Merlin, I’ve missed them… And Harry too. Oh, good gods above, you are _not_ going to believe this!” He cried suddenly remembering the most exciting news of all. After the little tumble with James the previous day, Remus vowed not to mention his and Harry’s relationship to Sirius until he was certain the other man could handle it. 

“You remember Jaime, don’t you? Of course you do. Guess what? Harry’s Jaime! I know, it’s a bit of a shock, to all of us, well, except Lily of course who knew all along and never bothered to tell anyone, but it’s true. See, Harry and Draco Malfoy, your second-cousin or something like that who by the way turned to the light and so you cannot hate him anymore for being dark like his father, anyway, those two oafs managed to trip each other and fall, of all places, right into a time alcove. Remember we used to suspect these things existed in the school because they were always appearing and disappearing on the map? So, apparently they do exist, and these two managed to fall right into one , lucky gits.” 

Remus paused, not sure how to continue, of course Sirius would connect one thing and another and would like to know what was going on. After all, everyone’s favourite question once they learned the truth was ‘Hey, weren’t you guys involved?’. Remus chuckled to himself, gods, he’d been such an idiot, trying to persuade himself that he didn’t want Harry when he learned the truth. Luckily, he came to his senses before it was too late. He looked down at his wrist, fingering the hand-fastening band and smiling softly. 

“So, erm… I guess there’s nothing for it. I really didn’t want you to find out like this but it seems rather inevitable, and just so you know, Lily and James know all about it and are fine with it so you really don’t have a say in the matter!” Remus swallowed hard and lifted his head high, as if trying to defend himself, looking at the veil in defiance. “Harry and I are together. Yes, that’s right, we’re a couple, again, I suppose. And it’s not even a physical thing, though the sex is absolutely am… a-hem, it’s more than that!” He exclaimed, his cheeks flaming. In a way he could finally voice all his reasons for being with Harry, the ones he never got to tell Molly and James about. But even talking to an empty room was making his face flush.

“Harry is the most amazing person in the world. He’s kind and sweet and strong and for some unfathomable reason he thinks I’m the best catch around. I don’t care what you have to say about this, Pads, I’m going to stay with Harry until he decides he’s had enough with me. We even… We got bonded, well, hand-fastened, on Harry’s birthday, and we’ve been very happy ever since. I’ve never told anyone this before, but I’m going to ask him to make it more official soon… I want everyone we know, you included to be there for us.” Remus pulled his knees to his chest again, resting his chin on them, unable to stop his grin, “Lily already informed us she’d like to orchestrate the whole wedding, of which I’m a bit scared, I must adm…” 

Before Remus had time to finish his sentence the veil rustled violently and he jumped from his chair, scattering Molly’s food and the bag of portkeys all over the floor. Remus watched in trepidation as something wrestled its way out, hoping beyond it was Sirius and not some underworld monster. A minute or so later the body of Sirius Black, still dressed in his black leather outfit which he’d worn for the battle with Voldemort, four years ago, only now it was hanging from his form in shards, stumbled out of the veil and for a moment the two men stood and stared at each other frozen. Sirius was the first to move, looking at the wide-eyed werewolf at the bottom of the stairs he took one step towards him when his knees buckled, resulting in the darker man stumbling down the five steps with a series of groans and expletives that would have made Remus smile any other time. Only when Sirius landed in a heap and a pitiful moan at the bottom of the stairs did Remus snap out of his stupor. 

His first instinct of going straight to Sirius and grabbing hold of him was overruled by James’ warning about not touching Sirius. Frantically Remus started searching for the velvet bag containing the portkeys before he remembered his wand and ‘accio’ them to him. The sac came flying from under the chair and Remus caught it, tearing it open and taking one of the crumpled parchments and dropping it carefully into Sirius’ hand.

“Hogwarts infirmary!” He shouted, cringing at the volume of his own voice as he had forgotten to take off the ‘sonorous’ charm. Sirius’ body disappeared in an instant and Remus took several seconds to recover from the shock of seeing his best mate trudging from behind the veil, before he cancelled all the charms on the room and took the other portkey and followed Sirius.

****

\---O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O---

When Remus’ feet finally touched the ground again he promptly fell on his arse, muttering to himself he rubbed his sore backside and looked around him to see if he could see Sirius. Madame Pomfrey’s head popped from behind a curtain at the noise and she looked oddly at him,

“Professor Lupin, what on earth are you doing on the floor?” Remus rolled his eyes and got to his feet, 

“I fell.” He explained with dignity but she didn’t seem to care as she dove back behind the curtain. Remus followed her curiously and when he rounded it he saw a professional looking Madame Pomfrey bustling around the bed, and a blushing Ginny Weasley doing her best not to look at the bed. When Remus turned his eyes to the bed he could understand why. Sirius was lying there, completely unconscious, his torn garments removed and only his lower half covered with a white crisp sheet. 

“How is he?” He asked quietly, watching Madame Pomfrey as she took out her wand and started running it over Sirius’ prone body, siphoning away the ectoplasm covering his body in a shimmering film that looked no more harmful than perspiration, and into a large lead jar that was standing on the nightstand besides Sirius’ bed. As soon as she was done she corked the jar firmly and handed it to the stunned Remus, 

“We still need to run some tests on him.” She said in her clipped tone, “I need you to take this, and put it back where it came from.” Remus frowned at her, and then at the jar in his hands and the old matron sighed, “Just use your portkey and go back to the ministry and toss this behind the veil. There’s a good lad.” She added with a soft smile and with a slap to Remus’ shoulder, nudged him in the direction of the forgotten port-key. “When you’re done, just go up to Arthur’s office and floo back here, I believe we’ll have news of Mr. Black’s state by then.” Unable to refuse Remus picked up the portkey and cried out his destination with a hoarse voice. 

Fifteen minutes later the hearth in the Hogwarts infirmary erupted with green flames and Remus stumbled inside, followed closely by Arthur Weasley. The two men hurried to where Sirius’ bed was, still hidden away by the portable curtains. Madame Pomfrey gave them both a smile,

“He must be the luckiest man alive,” She chirped happily, “There’s no lasting physical damage, and as for the mental one, well, we’ll just have to see later.” Remus rushed to Sirius’ bed, clasping his hand and gazing intently at the unconscious man’s face, looking for any sign of change. Sirius was alive! Sirius Black was _alive_! Remus’ brain still struggled to process the message, even as he looked at the man. He could feel tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, gods… In a space of two days he not only got back Lily and James, albeit slightly less, erm, alive than before but also Sirius! For the first time in his life Remus felt that things were finally going _his_ way! And about bloody time too!

Suddenly Sirius bolted upright from the bed, sending Remus flailing backwards in a mess of robes and limbs, crashing to the floor when his grasp of Sirius’ hand jerked him back with surprise. Sirius looked around him, not realizing where he was until his eyes fell on the prone form of his friend, 

“You!” He cried hoarsely, his voice sounding like an out of tune instrument from the lack of usage. Remus gulped unconsciously, trying to gauge what was bothering Sirius, “You! You knocked my godson up!” And with that Sirius crashed back onto the bed, his eyes rolling back in a dead faint. Remus looked from the floor, completely gob-smacked and flabbergasted at the turn of events. From the other side of the bed he could see Madame Pomfrey and Arthur giving him curious looks and he instantly felt himself reddening, 

“Remus, would you care to explain what that was about?” Arthur asked in a tight voice that was clearly hiding his desire to laugh, and even Madame Pomfrey had to bite her lip as she leaned to check on Sirius. Remus pulled himself up from the floor, for the second time that morning and crossed his arms over his chest, 

“I have no idea what he’s talking about!” He stated confidently, cursing his flaming cheeks, “Harry is a boy in case you didn’t notice!” Both Arthur and Poppy snickered before they could get a hold of themselves and Remus did his best to glare at them, gods but Sirius was going to be in deep trouble when he woke up again, _deep_!

“Speaking of Harry, shouldn’t you go and tell him the good news?” Remus perked immediately, looking guiltily around him, damn! “Don’t worry, Sirius will be sleeping for at least four more hours, you’ve got plenty of time.” Poppy finished, smiling wide. The fun never ends when there are marauders involved. 

Not five minutes later a flushed and muttering Remus stepped out of the fireplace in the kitchen of Grimmauld Place. He lifted his head to find his bonded standing over a tray of baked goods, looking pensive and tapping his finger on his chin. Remus slid behind his lover, circling his waist and resting his head on Harry’s shoulder, 

“Everything alright?” He asked and Harry sighed. He lifted one of the pastries from the tray and handed it over to Remus, 

“Here, tell me what you think.” Remus took the pastry and dug in, munching thoroughly and studiously. While this wasn’t Molly’s tartlets, it wasn’t bad. 

“Hmm, nice scone.” He said brightly, and Harry’s face fell, 

“Scone? Bugger! Those are suppose to be muffins!” Remus took another bite, but he still couldn’t feel the muffiness. 

“I think they’re good.” He concluded, popping the last of his scone/muffin into his mouth, 

“Good, because you’re going to eat the lot of them.” Harry grumbled and slumped into the nearest chair, rubbing his face furiously, “Damn, I’m such a failure!” Remus, though not fully understanding Harry’s distress nevertheless started rubbing his shoulders in a comforting massage. 

“You’re not a failure. You’re a brilliant cook.” He said in a soothing tone that only made Harry’s ire rise. The last person he needed to be coddled by was Remus, but fortunately for both, Remus’ coddling was short lived, “Why are you stressing yourself for anyway? Aren’t they suppose to teach you this sort of thing in that school?” To him it seemed rather inane to get all flustered about something like spoiled muffins, after all, the whole point of a school, any school really was to teach you to do stuff you didn’t know and couldn’t do before, right? 

“I just wanted to get a head start.” Harry said in a small, miserable voice, that made Remus drop a kiss on top of the messy black hair. Snuggling further into his lover’s embrace Harry decided that botched muffins were no reason to get all morose on boxing day, especially when they were due at Draco’s for brunch. “Where were you this morning?” He asked instead, waking up alone this morning was a rather strange experience, especially when he fully intended to indulge in what Remus wanted to start as their Christmas tradition only to find himself all alone in the massive bed. 

“That’s what I came here to talk to you about, you’re never going to believe this.” Remus said with bright, twinkling eyes, sitting down next to Harry. Harry smiled at him, happy to see Remus so excited about something, “Sirius is back.” Harry blinked at him in confusion, gods, could he have stumbled by mistake on the recipe for perfect space-muffins with no grass? 

“What?” 

“Sirius!” Remus cried happily and rose to his feet, starting to drag Harry towards the fireplace, “Pads is alive and he’s currently at Hogwarts!” Harry felt his mind buzzing and he halted his eager lover, 

“Wait a second, Pookybear. Sirius can’t be alive, he died, we both saw him…” Remus shook his head, 

“No, he isn’t. Trust me on this one ok? James told me yesterday. Now, come on! I’ll explain everything when we get there, Poppy said Sirius would be sleeping for quite a bit so you’ll have time to ask everything you want!” It took Harry a few seconds to grasp what Remus was trying to tell him, but once he did, he felt his breath quickening with delirium and he started pulling Remus instead. Once Harry's feet touched the hearth in Remus' office he broke into a run, dragging his wheezing and laughing lover through the corridors towards the infirmary. 

“Where is he?” He cried as he burst through the doors. Madame Pomfrey looked up from the piece of parchment she was reading, her famous scowl in place, 

“Mr. Potter!” She hissed, “Would you keep your voice down? There are sick people in here!” Harry rolled his eyes, 

“No, there aren’t! There’s just one person here and he’s sleeping. Where is he.” Madame Pomfrey gave Remus a scalding glare, just to let him know that she thought he was a bad influence on the boy before she pursed her lips and pointed towards the curtains hiding Sirius. Remus gave her a blinding smile, so that she didn’t think she got the better of him and followed the bouncing Harry behind the curtains. 

Harry stopped as soon as he saw the prone form of his godfather, slumbering peacefully as if everything was perfectly normal. Harry dropped into the chair next to Sirius’ bed, trying to contain the swelling of emotions in his chest. Sirius was here, alive! After four years of blaming himself for Sirius’ death Harry could finally let the guilt rest. Suddenly it didn’t matter how stupid he had been at fifteen, or how much he cocked-up when it came to his lessons with Snape, because Sirius was alright and he was alive and nothing else was important. 

“Gods, I just can’t believe…” He whispered, trailing his fingers over Sirius’ knuckles, feeling the warm skin and shivering. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Remus, who had seated himself next to the young man shrugged, 

“It was James. He made me promise that if it didn’t work you weren’t to know anything.” Harry looked at his lover, a part of him wanted to be angry for being treated like a child, another part was grateful for the consideration and care. But most of him was just soaring with joy. 

“I should have guessed it was Prongs’ lame idea…” Harry and Remus’ heads snapped at the groggy voice, and they both looked down at the slightly unfocused eyes of their friend, 

“Sirius…” Harry nearly chocked on the name, while Remus snickered at his friend’s antics. Sirius gave Remus a small wink before he turned his gaze to his godson, taking it all in- the too bright eyes, flushed cheeks and smiling lips, 

“Hello there squirt. Miss me much?” Harry let out a watery chuckle and clasped Sirius’ hand to him, needing to reassure himself of the reality of it all. Sirius squeezed his hand affectionately and leaned in conspiratorially, “Just promise me one thing, that I’ll get to be the baby’s godfather, yeah?” At that Remus rolled his eyes and Harry frowned, 

“Gods, Pads, you’re such a dick!” Remus cried, “I never said Harry was pregnant, I don’t know where you got this rubbish idea!” Harry’s jaw dropped in disbelief, 

“What?” He shrieked, completely aghast by the idea, “You told him that I’m pregnant?”

“No, I didn’t.” Remus tried to explain calmly, though he felt like he would soon fall on the floor rolling with laughter, gods, four years in limbo really messed with Sirius’ head… “Sirius doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” 

“Me, pregnant? Why on earth would he think such a thing? Even if that was possible, who said _I_ would be the one up the duff?” Harry crossed his arms over his chest, looking defiant and challenging, his nostrils flaring at the raised eyebrows his lover and godfather were giving him, “Oh, bugger off.” He snarled and slumped back in his chair. 

“Alright, so if I’m not going to become a godfather again, which I’m pretty much relieved over, since I have a feeling a pregnant Harry would make Lily look like a cuddly bear, then what the hell were you talking about Moony?” Sirius asked cheerfully, in a couple of hours, maybe days it would hit him, like a ton of bricks, the magnitude of him sitting here exchanging jokes with Remus and Harry, and then there would be questions and tears and shouts and loads of bad words because if Remus brought him back only so that he’d have to hide back in Grimmauld Place Sirius would toss the werewolf behind the veil himself! But for now he was just content to see the smiles on his friends faces and hear their voices. 

“All I said was that I wanted to ask Harry to marry me!” Remus huffed, rolling his eyes. A sharp intake of breath by his side made him cringe a little, damn. That’s not how he planed to broach the subject. He was thinking more along the lines of a candlelit room, chocolate and a ring… He turned to look at Harry who’s green eyes were so wide they looked almost round, 

“Really?” He squeaked, and Remus smiled softly, nodding, 

“Yes, really. It’s not exactly how I wanted to propose but as always you can count on Snuffles here to muck it all up.” Sirius grinned at that, completely unabashed and completely ignored as Harry practically pounced on Remus and started to drop kisses all over the laughing werewolf’s face, like an enthusiastic puppy dog. Sirius waited a couple of seconds for the smooching to end, but when he saw the two were not in any hurry to part he cleared his throat meaningfully. Harry turned from his position on Remus’ lap, his arms circling his lover’s neck, and both looked expectantly at Sirius, 

“Do I get to be best man?” He questioned with tone that dared the two to refuse, 

“Of course.” Sirius’ face broke in a huge yawn, 

“Good, in that case I think I’m going back to sleep. See you two crazy love birds later.”


	43. 43

** JADED **

**..oo00oo..**

**Chapter Forty-three: I never thought I’d need so many people  
(Title from ‘Five years’ by David Bowie from the album ‘The rise and fall of Ziggy Stardust and the spiders from Mars’ which has to be the longest album title in history- but what an album…)**

**..o0o.. ..o0o.. ..o0o..**

11.03.2004  
(Note that it’s been five years since the last chapter… yes, the correlation between the chapter’s name and the date isn’t coincident)

Ronald Bilius Weasley! 

I hope you have a damn good excuse for not showing your ugly face here today! I cannot believe you ignored our specific invitation to come to the grand opening of mine and Harry’s new shop in Diagon Alley. Yes, yes, I know, you and Harry are not on ‘speaking terms’ anymore but for the love of Merlin! Your entire family was there, and yes, that includes that gingery brother of yours, Percy who could bore even a flabberworm to tears in under five minutes (and ate nearly all the vanilla puffs, I might add) so unless you’re on your death bed or beyond (and your mother assured me you’re in perfect health) you really have no bloody excuse for not showing up! 

And just for that sheer audacity you shall have to be punished! Yes, you read right. And your punishment (since I don’t plan on flying halfway across the world and spanking you) will be to read on and discover what everyone who’s anyone is doing these days. Muhahahaha, by the way. 

So, where shall we start… I think we shall start with Hermione, the girl that if you had a little more sense and love for big front teeth you’d be married today. Instead, you chose to be completely unaffected by her charms and thus left an opening for your notorious enemy. At the moment, I believe they are back together. Pretty sure of it. I think. Wait, what day is it? Yes, Hermione and Draco’s relationship is as fickle as… A ficklish thingy that is fickling its way through a sea of non-fickling other thingies. Yes. 

Moving on… Next is your favourite professor- yes, you guessed it- Sseeeeeeeverus Snape! What is there to say? Still teaching, still potions, but much less snarky, which in it’s own rights is down right unfair if you ask me. The man we all grew up loving to hate is now a sensible family man, a loving father and by gods it’s annoying. Though Cleois quite adorable. You should see the way she switches forms every time she sneezes. I’m telling you, this kid is a hoot at parties. Too bad Tonks says it’ll go away as soon as she’s old enough to control her magic. 

And now, the coolest man in England takes stage again. As suave and charming as always, minus the trauma of being in prison for twelve years and then ‘dead’ for three more, this is Sirius Black! I’m telling you, if I’d have gone through what he had, I’d probably do the same. And by same I mean party till my ears fall off. I don’t think any bird in London is safe from him. And all because he’s got the time, he’s got the money, he’s got the looks and he’s got the moves. Plus he’s usually paying for everyone’s drinks, so…

As for me, well, I’m not sure what your mother’s been telling you (homophobic wench that she is and all) but I’m currently flying solo. It’s a long story but let’s just say that it seems that Oliver and I don’t share the same views on what a ‘relationship’ entitles… In his eyes, it includes far more people than just me… So I’m on my own, baking my misery away and hoping to find a man that would appreciate my… buns.

On a happier note I think your mother has given up on the world. Or at least about her children, and yes Ronald, that includes you- Mr. Runaway to the other side of the world and leaving your mother all alone surrounded by a bunch of good for nothing homos, I mean sons. I think the final straw was when George, of all your lot, moved in with his boyfriend. I bet she never mentioned that in one of her letters. Your bother shacking up with a gorgeous Brazilian… Maybe that’s why I can’t get a decent shag, I’m cruising for hotties on the wrong side of the pond!

I bet Molly did give you all the exciting news about the rest of your family… Please note the sarcasm as I’ve never seen such a bunch of goody-goodies in my life. Mummy says ‘get married’ they all do (except for Bill who’s been terrified back into pussy by your mother and is now rather indecisive), mummy says have loads and loads of babies and they all do. I’m surprised you don’t have a brood of your own by now. Or maybe you do and we don’t know because you’re hiding away from Harry! 

Uh-oh, did I just say the ‘H’ word? Naughty, naughty me… slap my wrist and bend me over a desk. Grow the hell up Weasley! Yes, Harry is still alive, yes he’s still with Remus and guess what? (gods I wish I could see your face right now…) They’re MARRIED. Not just living together, not just shagging, but actually, honest to gods, rings and flower-girls married. So I guess you can just drop your little ‘I’m not talking to you until you come to your senses and flee the monster’s dreaded clutches’ drama-queen incarnation and come back home because frankly my dear, no one gives a damn.

And just to make your day a little brighter, if you haven’t stuffed your clocks on a cardiac arrest by now, guess what, Harry and Remus are going to be parents! Yes, indeed. I wish I could say it was the natural way, but I have a feeling that would really do you over, so no, Harry did not get pregnant, though Sirius still seems to think it would be the greatest joke of the century.   
They are currently waiting on the final papers to be drawn up and signed (So nice and ever so efficient to have a best friend that is also an arguer- yes, I said best friend, because you my darling Ron were kicked out of the spot when you failed to deliver and Draco was courteous enough of step in) but in about a month or so they are going to be the proud owners, I mean parents… of a lovely little boy called Aaron. 

He’s four years old, and before you go nattering about how werewolves should never be allowed to have children and all that rot, Aaron is a werewolf. Aren’t you just delighted to know that a four years old child could undergo such horror? The fucking ministry practically dumped the poor boy on Remus and Harry because his parents were too cowardly to deal with him and the ministry was too scared to actually acknowledge him. So now he’s going to be Aaron Lupin, or as we like to call him, Finn, and he’s the most adorable kid and cub ever. And guess what? I get to be his godfather! So exciting! The boy will weigh six stones by the time he’s five if I have a say in it!

Are you still here? Still breathing normally? That purple vein in your forehead all calmed? Didn’t incinerate the letter yet? Good, then it’s time to let you know your punishment is over. Mostly because I ran out of interesting people to write about. So, whenever you feel like showing your freckles in the ‘Sugardust’ (that the name of our shop, by the way and just for the record, I wanted to call it ‘Buns’ but Harry said it was ‘too naughty’, blah blah blah), there will be vanilla puffs waiting for you (unless that pig you call brother gets to them first)

With all my love, and all that crap you write at the end of letters, 

Seamus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY!!! It’s done and over with! (Dances around madly, stumbling across the sofa and stubbing big toe, hopping around on one foot and falling flat on my arse- and don’t think that just because it all happens in my head I’m less susceptible to clumsiness!) 
> 
> And a really big, huge, enormous thank you to my faithful beta- Dragon who had to put up with my atrocious spelling and grammar mistakes and did such a splendid job. 
> 
> Lilyyuri.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The idea for ‘Tempus Alcoves’ came to me after reading the excellent story ‘Tempus’ by Ravenna C Tan, go read.


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